I'm at the bottom again

I understood it when I felt the fog setting in my mind 

My feet became heavy and my mind slow

My eyes start to see instead of notice

I cannot feel anymore

I don't want to

I don't want to explain

I don't want help

I want it to be over

I don't want you to hurt

So replace me before I can hurt you

Please I'm begging you

Ignore me

Abandon me

So I don't have to do it to you

You can get help

It'll be alright

Every time I get help it takes more energy

Every time I fall it takes longer to stand up

So leave me here in my lonely grave

Don't mourn me 

Don't bother to say goodbye

I won't be here

I'm at the bottom again

And there I found you

I could not abandon you

Maybe my burial shall be a few years late

Maybe life needs a chance

Maybe happiness will surprise me

But for now

Let me sleep 

In this pit of despair

It hurts too much to get up

Don't bother hurting yourself trying to help me