Ooh, attempted comedy. This is going to be fun (rubs hands together)

Cover Judge: Okay, I guess. The pastel makes everything a bit blurry, and I didn't quite see the silhouette until after like a minute. Title text is just that much too small.

I'm wondering what those geometric shape doodles at the corners are...I think you could've prolonged them to circle around the cover. It's hard to explain so here's an example:

Blurb Judge: My eyes are having a hard time processing the information for my brain.

"before anything, nothing, everything gone, nothing, difference, nothing, everything..." xD

I'm interested in what a magick school is. Or is it a magick sckhool?

Side note: Holy wow! 5.1k reads, 720+ votes? 102 PARTS?!?! Are you telling me I have to READ THEM AL-

Other side note: Is there a reason for the strange numeration of the chapters? So, there are chapters called "chapter 1", there are numbers in parentheses, there are numbers with dots which make sub numerations...and after 12.4 comes (1)?

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I blinked and frowned and raised eyebrows throughout the whole first chapter. It's all quite thick and heavy, with large words thrown in. It started getting more enjoyable when we arrived to Dick the black hole. Nice way to end the chapter anyway.

Then we were back in descriptions and thoughts. I have to say I skimmed through the 2.x chapters. Why would you divide them like this, with a heavy and long 2.2 and shorter 2.1 and 2.3? 3 was a whole chapter. I'm confused.

You're good at descriptions, at least at fulfilling its goal: which is describing things. And people need descriptions in books; it helps them paint an image in their minds, and it can't be all dialogue without a place for it to take action in.

Still, you have to know where and when to limit it. The readers don't need to know every single detail of Lyeasrakardsul's office or his train of thought; is it going to serve some purpose in the story later on? No? Okay, when in doubt, take it out.

I think you have this amazing idea, you've created a whole universe of Sorcerers and Gnomes that live in Empris, and you can't wait to show us. I get that feeling too.

But you can't shove everything in our faces at first glance; it's too much. Give us a handful of information- there- and expand from that. You've given us lots of backstory and history...that's okay up to a certain extent, but now we want to know what is going to happen in the present.

Fun fact: I skimmed up to 4.3, then I skipped to 9.3 to see if the story was ending (IT WASN'T), and then I thought 7.4 had a funny title.

Summary: I couldn't grasp much of the plotline, the direction of the situation, whose perspective this story is going with. Maybe I should've read more? But my interest dwindled away at 4.1. It was just too much for me.