Oh no. Teen fic. This is going to be...

Cover Judge: Just bleh. The title is super small, your name is even tinier

When people scroll down book covers they see this weirdly striped girl that looks like she's in prison and is closing her eyes for no reason.

I suggest a complete cover remake.

Blurb Judge: *sigh* well, this is teen fic and attempted humor, right?

These names though.

*facepalm* I understand make up your own original names but these are nowhere near realistic. Maybe that's the point?

YOU WILL NOT TEMPT ME.

Oh...um...

I don't like character aesthetics much. Especially when they're like this:

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The start is actually funny.

You know, lots of people in books stick out tonges when they're annoyed, but how realistic is that? Have you ever seen someone who isn't 5 stick out their tongue? It looks weird, in real life.

Ahah, of course. Such an original character description.

Lots of swearing. It's kind of funny. Then it gets boring when they start bickering in very cliche ways, apart from the little llama. That's new.

^^^^These star things are very annoying. If the background were transparent it would look like an actual paragraph separator.

I'm going to ignore the fight scene because I would find a lot of mistakes if I saw it like in a movie.

Chapters are soooo long (take in example chapter 4). It makes everything a bore. Especially with teen fic/humour, the ideal chapters should be not too long, not too short, filled with quirkiness or whatever theme you want to create. Dialogue should prevail.

Well that's consistent.

Summary: The individual chapters are way too long and heavy.