| The Devil's Apprentice

Cover Judge: I don't like it. It's like one of those fanfictions that just focus on the people (who exist in real life and probably do not appreciate these fanfictions setting them up and doing strange things)

What is that he's holding, an apple? There's a tiny, tiny scripted writing over his head which is unreadable.

Blurb Judge: Classic fanfiction romance type. The last paragraphs is very cliche.

And I read that "the pickle mistress"

Adding "find out..." with three dots adds an amateurish impression on your book.

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I don't understand the verb tense; is it present or past? Either way it's wrong.

First you need another comma after step dad, then, it could be either he looked up or he looks up.

*whispers/whispered

*moves/moved

BUT, I like how you set up the 2nd chapter. Jimin's nonchalance, the sudden "why did you kill him?" make good contrast.

And then the mom kills herself. Okay. Back to point 0.

Side Note: Can you really die by jumping from the 3rd floor? You might break your legs or back, but DIE?

Story cuts off at chapter 7.

I don't really understand the point of the story now. Jimin's a sick weirdo with voices, poor Maya is the victim, but I can predict that she'll help him clear the voices or something and pity him or something and they'll end up together or something.

Or something.

Summary: There are so many books called The Devil's Apprenctice, and it doesn't even have anything to do with the devil or apprentices.

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