Uh oh, taking on a horror. Let's go.

Cover Judge: Not bad, and not too creepy either.

Blurb Judge: Hmm, it starts with"Ben drowned in a lake"

NOOOO IS THAT HOW SMOKESCREEN WILL DIE? MUCH TRAGIC.

Good use of short sentences, and then a final long one.

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One of the simplest, yet efficient opening chapters I've read. Good progression and descriptions.

AND NOW MIKE WAS HIS BROTHER. WHAT IS THIS? ERICA WAS HIS MOM?

Tip: I know you like those "quote picture things" before every chapter, but honestly...there's too much writing, which makes it small and hard to read, which means people won't even bother to look at it because there's a written version in the chapter.

Minor mistakes here and there; verb conjugations, repetitions, tenses.

Nice going with the POV changes. You record flow of thought pretty well.

Okay...horror starts in chapter 5...if I read through it quickly I can manage it. Nice touch with the song being used as a creepy element. But from all I've read in the first chapters, now I can only think of this as tragedy/paranormal but not exactly full horror.

Actually, I'm liking it slightly. The short chapters are full of emotions and suspense.

From what I've understood, Ben and Amy both died, then were "reborn" in another life, but this time Ben wants revenge or something.

Is there supposed to be some lesson or something? That killers and murderers lived terrible lives before becoming what they are? If this is it, interesting concept.

One thing: you do not say "sorry" for cliffhangers. You let your readers hold on to the cliff as they beg you to update! xD

Summary: Movie-like writing and intense plot