Shirogane's POV:

I have three lives, all with the same name, same face, same soul. Everything corporeal about me in the game was copied for every single detail, a backstory explaining for any imperfection I had on my body, a scar over my wrist was from a sewing disaster, being sore from bruises that didn't exist by always having back pain.

Longing for someone who you remember, but who can't remember you, and you feel like something inside you is missing but you can't remember what was harder to sweep under the rug though.

My name is Tsumugi Shirogane, I was a seventeen-year-old girl, a recent graduate from high school, I was planning to go to college to study biology. I had two siblings, a sister and a brother, one younger and one older. 

I don't remember their names.

I had parents.

I can't remember their faces.

I learned why I joined Danganronpa though, I had the same reason as so many others, I wanted to die. I wanted to die and become someone else, someone else who people would love, look at, notice if they didn't come down for dinner, cared about if they cried and maybe a miracle could happen...reach a hand out for me. Someone who would forget...who would forget everything.

I suppose I got my wish.

So I entered my first season, I was the Ultimate Reporter, the 2nd one after a few seasons gap, I had the same personality, the same face, and smile. But my hair was red instead of blue, short and curly instead of straight and long, I didn't have my glasses, and instead had braces. I looked like a Mahiru Koizumi if not for my Wednesday Adam get up. My name was the same though, Tsumugi Shirogane. 

I don't remember the first game that well, it's the same blurry images of the life I had before, I remember a girl with amethyst hair, beautiful sea-green eyes. I cherish her playing DDR with me she would always get a bad score or even worse on a bad day fall of the machine, but she had so much fun with this, eating snacks with me like mochi, smiling for me even if the game probably gave her no reason to smile.

She killed someone. That same smiling and innocent looking girl killed someone, the victim I can't remember, a blurry image of the body would sometimes flash in my head if I concentrated enough, her face...she looked so tired...so scared.

I see her reaching for me in her execution. I guess I replicated that display for Saihara, someone who you grew to love and care about being ripped away from you, extending their hand for you, their terrified and tear-stained face, your own unable to move your legs feeling cemented into the ground...I feel jealous now though...he reached back.

Why didn't I reach for her?

If that girl is still here I have no idea. She never reached out to meet me, if she did I would curse the fact I can't even remember her name anymore, how sometimes I feel like the memory of her is getting lost in my mind and one day...one day I would forget she ever existed.

Then came the second season. It was the second of the year, a few months after the first one.

Tsumugi Shirogane, the ultimate cosplayer.

 I remember I hated wearing gowns, preferring jeans, and never dressed up for Halloween, yet the game makers I guess thought it would be a funny joke to any friends I had who were watching.

If I had them. I can't remember anymore.

I had appeared the next season 53, just because of luck that I survived. Amami was a fan favorite, so they made him the ultimate survivor, it made sense I guess. We were the only two survivors, the third one couldn't take the guilt of being a survivor.

They're gone. Was there a funeral? Some mother out there who grieved for her dead child? Or were they forgotten by everyone but a few 'fans' in the outside world? I don't know. I don't even remember what gender they were.

What was your name?

When I awakened in that locker, malice I couldn't explain or comprehend overcame me, I felt a desire to hurt everyone, I wanted to see them suffer, I wanted them to writhe in agony, I remembered everything, my three lives colliding into one body, the disgusting thoughts I had before were maximized to their full potential.

I laughed on the inside at their struggles for hope, I laughed as they fought, and toyed with them. Whatever was left of my empathy was gone, I was just the mastermind, a game maker for the single job to cause despair. 

And I did that job gleefully, whatever care I had for humanity was gone, all I could feel was the despair of the previous season, the hopelessness of being a survivor, and that somehow becoming a great game maker would make all of that pain somehow worth it in some twisted way. How if I became a monster, I would be happy.

That wasn't happiness. Happiness, it turns out I experienced a few times, genuine happiness that I couldn't even recognize and disregarded. Why was I so stupid?

I loved it when I did Akamatsu's nails. I was terrible at nail art, and I got jealous so easily when Amami stepped in and made her nails look so pretty, he was talking about his family and Akamatsu was smiling in wonder. My programming shouldn't have allowed that joy, I don't know why I got to experience it. I just did.

Then came that day...the day Akamatsu gave in to recklessness and wheeled down the shot put ball...that second when the shot put ball missed...the time I killed the same person I had survived a game with, cried with, struggled with only to bash his head in.

The game continued, I designed executions for everyone, including my preparation for any kind of possibility, notebooks filled page to page with the intricate details on how I would manipulate the fools, how I would get rid of the rat, Ouma, when he finally stopped being entertaining.

The feeling of despair when Saihara figured me out, how Kiibo would then exterminate me that same day, how I would smile as Juno Enoshima, beaming to an audience with Monokuma at my side, I couldn't wait for a new season even if I wasn't the mastermind.

Then I died.

The game concluded.

I woke up.

So did my morals, my compassion, the complete horror and realization of what the actual fuck I had just done.

I'm glad I died, now I won't have to do it again.

I just wish I was lucky enough to remember, remember her name, remember the people who died that first game, my family and friends, why did Ouma have to be the lucky one?

Why does he get to remember?

~-~-~-~

Amami's POV:

Ultimate Survivor.

What a joke.

I don't think I was a bad guy in the game, it would have been hard to if you're the first to die. I did my best to figure out what was going on and find the truth, I had a head start and worked towards ending the game, but look where that got me.

Is that wrong of me to blame her? Either of them, Shirogane and Akamatsu? Maybe, I don't want to be the type of person that immediately blames others but I think I'm allowed to be a little annoyed or frustrated with having been murdered.

Yet I'm alive. I'm fully alive, so does that mean I have to forgive and forget? 

I was the first awake, Akamatsu taking a whole two weeks to wake up, I'm used to being alone, I gave myself that isolation when I started the game as well, so it wasn't even different. I just carried on with life.

I'm a bit glad I didn't last long in the second game, I didn't have to suffer like everyone else in that game, I was the first. Prevented everyone from dying in one massacre, so at least my death was useful for something, I'm even ok with why Akamatsu rolled down the ball that day, to stop the game in her way.

So why...why can't I just forgive and forget?

Why can't I forgive Shirogane, someone who was my close friend in the previous season, the person I spent weeks with as we cried over the friends we had lost, supported each other to keep going forward even with the odds stacked against us, how even in our recovery and when we lost some people from our game in real life we still had each other's back.

We were friends.

She also killed me.

I can't believe she was the mastermind, that they made her become that, that she was consciously aware of all that we had been through together, yet despite that she had killed me. I don't understand, I don't understand why we couldn't have just continued to be friends like we were back then, why can't we be those two people again?

She killed me that day, and maybe that's why we can't go back to who we were back then.

I want to forgive her, I know what they did to her mind, I know that it wasn't entirely her...logically I know all of these things...but I still feel betrayed by her. That no matter how much I want to see Akamatsu as just the girl who is a sweet girl and determined to do the right thing always, Shirogane as the nerdy girl who got jealous easily, the two people I became friends with...I can't.

I can only remember that scene every single time I try to sleep.

When I went into the library and found that bookcase only to see the flashing light from a nearby camera, to walk up towards it to see what exactly that was...only to hear a thud of a ball behind me, looking at it for only a second before hearing someone running, glancing behind me for a second to see Shirogane's face...then everything went black.

~-~-~-~

Akamatsu's POV:

I'm not perfect.

I made mistakes, some people say can be forgiven because they were minor, ones that a simple apology can just fix. My final mistake though...that can never be forgiven. I know that I know that so much.

I'm damaged.

We all are, and that's why we're here today in this room. All three of us from the first trial, I think we all look like a mess. Shirogane has bandages all over her arms, and her expression looks so fearful and full of guilt and despair, her hair is tied back because it looks like she could barely take good care of herself, Amami having deep bags under his eyes despite his otherwise healthy looking figure. My neck is covered in bloody bandages along with my fingers.

We haven't spoken the entire time so far, other than the obligatory 'hello' and 'how are you' a few dry jokes that we laugh at sadly, only to be met with silence. What do we say to one another? What can we do that can somehow fix what we did back then? All of the things we did wrong...what can we do?

I want to know, so it looks like I will have to be the one to break the silence.

"Hey...remember when I asked Shirogane to do my nails?" I asked Amami snorted a little, and Shirogane gave a sad smile, "oh yeah, you never got long nails...I didn't know much about nail art and I was so mad when Amami stepped in and turned out to be a nail stylist" Shirogane said laughing, "what can I say? I had experience doing people's nails" he joked, "I know but I called dibs!" Shirogane complained jokingly.

"If it makes you feel better I appreciate your offer Shirogane," I told her, "just my offer? I thought I did a great job" Shirogane groaned, "sorry..." I mumbled. Shirogane looked down for a bit when I said that, "you have nothing to be sorry about..." she mumbled.

You have nothing to be sorry about...heh...yeah right, I shook my head, "you're wrong...I do have so much to apologize for..." I told her, trying my best not to cry. Amami didn't say anything but felt uncomfortable about this like me.

I have to ask.

"Hey...do you hate me Amami...?" I asked, Amami didn't answer, and refused to look at me, it didn't seem to be out of hatred but just that he didn't know the answer himself, "I don't know..." he admitted.

"It's...it's complicated, sorry" he apologized, "I'm sure you can understand why, don't get me wrong I understand why you had to do it, but forgive me if I'm a little bit bitter about it," he told me.

I gripped my fists tighter, "I'm sorry...I...I didn't want it to end up that way if I could take it back...if I had known it wasn't the mastermind who set off the alarms..." I started, "I know...I know" he told me, it probably was meant to be sincere but he wouldn't look at me.

Shirogane did have something to say though.

"Why would he hate you? It was me that killed him" Shirogane reminded me, "if anything you both should hate me, I killed both of you despite the fact we were friends" she reminded, "we were your friends?" Amami asked sort of bitterly, "strange, I didn't know you could have those anymore" he told her. Shirogane looked down and scratched at her arms as she sniffled.

"I'm sorry" she muttered, "I didn't...I didn't mean to..." she started, trying to explain in some way "didn't mean to what? Kill me? Shirogane I saw you, I saw you before I died, so please don't treat this as some kind of accident, we both know it wasn't" Amami scolded.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry Amami...I wish I didn't do that..." Shirogane cried, "I WISH I DIDN'T KILL YOU I'M SO SORRY!" she screamed, what have I done? Another mistake...another mistake...another mistake...

"I know! I get that the game makers put some shit in your head Tsumugi! But guess what?! Waking up thinking your best friend had killed you is a messed up feeling, do you even know how terrifying this is for me? Because even though I know who you are as a person I still can't help but remember your face when you KILLED me!" Amami argued.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Shirogane wailed, her tears were flooding out, and I felt myself trembling in my seat as whatever peace we had before was becoming more and more shattered, what have I done?

"Shirogane..." I mumbled, she didn't even glance at me, Amami looked away, his face looked guilty but he didn't say anything. I then turned my attention back to the girl who was once my friend. The girl who I thought was a statue when we first met, the girl who tried to do my nails, the girl who seemed so sweet when we first met, the girl who had framed me for a murder that even I believed I had committed, the girl who had killed me.

"It's ok Shirogane...I forgive you," I told her, Shirogane turned to me in shock her eyes filling with tears, Amami looked at me confused, "I forgive you for killing me that day..." I told her, "but y-you died thinking you w-were a murderer!" Shirogane screamed stuttering.

"Yeah...but the thing is...I did kill Amami" I told her, Shirogane looked at me confused as I laughed sadly tears finally escaping my eyes, "the second I rolled down the ball I gave you permission to kill him, it didn't matter if the ball missed or the fact it wasn't me who delivered the final blow...by rolling down the ball I sentenced Amami to death...so we both killed him Shirogane...we had our different reasons to...but we both killed him in the end." I concluded, I wiped the tears from my eyes as I smiled at them.

"You know, I was so happy when we got arranged to have this meeting...I thought maybe...just maybe...we could restart? That maybe we can become friends again, this time without any of us having to die or be afraid...we can be teenagers...wouldn't that be fun? Cause I did cherish those memories...I want us to have fun like that again...so please....please...if you don't want that I understand, it might be selfish of me but...please...can you try and forgive each other?" I asked.

...

...

...

...

"My name is Rantaro Amami, nice to meet you too," Amami said, looking at us, he had the same relaxed expression he had the day we met, Shirogane's eyes widened in surprised but she returned the gesture, "I'm Tsumugi Shirogane," she said, "Kaede Akamatsu...do you want to be friends?" I asked, "wow you asked that really fast kind of reminds me of an elementary friendship" Amami joked, "hey that's rude!" I told him laughing.

We are broken. There is no denying that shattered pieces that no matter how much glue and tape will never become whole again...and maybe that's fine...maybe we can become something new...together.