Harukawa's POV:

It's easy to die in a killing game.

It would have been easy for me to kill in a killing game, any one of us could die in that setting. Some say it isn't like that, that we're all on different stats and pedestals from the beginning, that surviving depends on how strong you are, and for some part yeah it can make things easier. It can make it easier for some victims to be killed because they lacked a strong will to live or weak, it can make it easier for some blackened to be caught if they cannot keep calm if they aren't cunning enough to outsmart everyone.

It didn't matter how skeptical you were, it didn't matter if you planned out every step of your path night and day, it didn't matter how high you kept your guard off because any moment someone can destroy your plans and you'll end up dead, maybe it is by your hand as a certain example...or because luck wasn't in your favor.

It didn't matter how kind you were, how selfless, it didn't matter if it seemed it would be impossible for that person to even hurt a fly-because anything can push you to the edge, anything can make you kill, and Monokuma has no mercy to the people who lost.

It's not about what skills you have at the end of the day, no...it was luck.

Luck? Is this luck? I mean can it be described as luck? Sure I survived, I was one of three that managed to get out of there with my life, leaving behind the memories of thirteen other participants-but is that lucky?

Living, only to be scarred by the memories of your friends dying.

Living, only to not know what to do with your life, only to be told that you shouldn't have problems because guess what, you survived! What do you have to complain about?

Living, only to be put back into that hell, to suffer again and again until the day I die inside one of their stupid games, is it luck? Am I lucky to have survived in a game where no one died, only to have to go through that madness potentially again? And what happens if I survive for a second time? How willing are they, those cruel and despair addicted people who designed these games, to torture me into insanity if it guarantees good ratings?

I don't get a choice now, someone else sacrificed that freedom for some unknown reason.

Maybe I don't want to know those reasons.

"Harukawa?" Yumeno called snapping me out of my thoughts as she walked inside the room, "oh over here" I told her signaling her over as she made her way over to one of the couches, "didn't expect you to want to see me, I mean I didn't think we were that close" Yumeno admitted, "I thought you would be spending all your time with Momota" she added.

"We do spend time together...I just wanted to discuss something with you and Saihara, but he's...busy at the moment" I told her, "Is he still at the other hospital?" Yumeno asked, "it's only been a week since what happened during the funeral, Maiko told me he's still not in the clear to be moved back here" I briefed, "Saihara's been too stubborn to leave his side, kind of surprised me all things considered with what Momota told me about how the two have been lately" I admitted.

"Well it's not like anyone else would be by his side" Yumeno reminded me, "well other than Gokuhara" she quickly added, "yeah...well Ouma isn't what I was going to talk about, I was going to mention the survivor condition, Maiko has told you right?" I asked.

"About how they're going to drag us back into the next season of Danganronpa?" Yumeno asked, "that exactly, what do you think about it?" I asked, Yumeno shrugged as she scanned the room, "Tenko isn't letting me go" she told me, I felt a bit surprised by her saying Chabashira's first name but brushed that aside.

"What do you mean she isn't letting you go? We signed a contract consenting to this what can she possibly do?" I asked confused, "Tenko says she's going to beat up any degenerate male who tries and takes me," Yumeno said simply as if this was a regular occurrence.

Knowing their dynamic though it probably was.

"And what if they're girls?" I asked jokingly, Yumeno paused for a second as she seemed to be trying to recall, "Tenko's gonna pick me up and run us out of the building" she answered, she seemed to treat the hypothetical situation hesitantly like she didn't even believe it herself.

"Besides Maiko says she won't let it happen didn't she? She said she won't allow for us to be put inside another season so I don't have to worry about anything" Yumeno said casually and relaxed surprising me, "you can't honestly just trust her that much right? She can't hold that much power to stop this because otherwise, we wouldn't have even been in Danganronpa in the first place!" I reminded her.

"But this isn't back then, is it?" Yumeno pushed, "That could mean nothing! Yumeno you can't honestly tell me you aren't at all concerned about this?!" I asked her surprised, "You saw what happened to Shirogane! IT COULD BE WORSE!" I screamed at her.

Yumeno yawned tiredly, "I won't go back in," she said, "the games are over, we ended it didn't we?" she asked, "if they force us back in we'll do what we did again, we'll die to end the games, that's what worked right? That's why we got to survive right?" she asked, her face was confident in the way she said those words and what doubt she had was buried deep down, how? How can she just be so confident in Maiko's promise...

How...

"Otherwise...otherwise..." Yumeno started, she started trembling in her seat as she tried to steady herself, "otherwise Tenko...and Angie...died for nothing..." she mumbled, "everyone...everyone died for nothing...so if we didn't end the games...what did they die for? What did they sacrifice their lives for?" Yumeno cried out, my eyes widened.

So...I'm not the only one...who feels guilty about this...

"What...what did they die for...if the games resume...as if nothing happened...as if nothing even mattered?" Yumeno asked as she brushed the tears out of her eyes, "sorry..." she mumbled, "no it's fine...it's fine...you...you feel guilty to don't you?" I asked.

"Guilty?" Yumeno asked, "guilty...about surviving the killing game" I clarified, Yumeno didn't respond but looked down embarrassed, "I'm not allowed to...because we're all alive...I don't have to scream at night because I keep dying in my dreams...I don't have to hate people for stabbing me in the back...no...I'm alive...that's it..." Yumeno told me-no she was telling herself this. Trying to convince herself that she couldn't have any guilt or problems because unlike the rest of our classmates what did we have to complain about? We're alive and breathing and will never have to deal with the trauma of dying in the killing games, we're the lucky ones...so we can't have problems...

We can't be hurt like the others because we survived.

"Yumeno..." I tried to start but Yumeno got up and quickly brushed herself off as she headed towards the door, "I have to go...sorry" she said and quickly left the room.

I...I...I have nothing to complain about...

I stared at the door a part of me hoping for her to return...for my burden to be recognized by one of two people who could understand...

...

...

I'm alright...because I'm alive...