Saihara's POV:

Kiibo was the Ultimate Robot, only he wasn't like the ones portrayed in media without emotions or unable to understand them. He was in most ways the most human out of all of us, able to even when I had my doubts about Ouma could recognize his last words as the truth, and who wished he could have the ability to cry an ability I never thought someone could envy.

And now he's gone.

At the end of the game, we all decided to sacrifice ourselves so that we could end this endless cycle of hope and despair, I remember Shirogane died in that attack, we passed by the blood-stained rock which we assumed to be her remains when we were leaving the academy...

We never found Kiibo, or what might have remained of him. Just that he was gone, it was heartbreaking don't get me wrong but...unlike with the others, I didn't have to live knowing I either sentenced them to their death or failed to protect them. I just had guilt...guilt that he couldn't be there with us, escaping.

Then I woke up, the simulation was revealed and I was...relieved. I feel like such an idiot now, how even though Maiko told me how some people became traumatized after the games and broken, how some people died because of what they went through I never considered something that could have happened to the rest of us.

I knew what happened with Ouma, how he can't even walk, I knew later Akamatsu choked herself in her sleep because she kept reliving her execution, I knew that Shirogane couldn't live with what she had done...

I knew...I should have asked more questions...why didn't I ever ask if I could see him? Why didn't I think to request a meeting with him?! I SHOULD HAVE! I lost him...I don't even know if I ever would have had a chance to see him...but if I did...I lost my chance.

He's dead. He's dead now, and I couldn't save him. I couldn't save him when we were in the games, and I couldn't save him when we woke up in the outside world, and unlike last time I wasn't even there for his final moments, I didn't have to face the immediate guilt that came with his death...I was spared.

And that's what I hate...because I was spared, I don't know what to feel. I will never get to tell him how thankful I am for him letting Harukawa and Yumeno live, and I will never get to ask him how he is if he's happy that he's human now, how he is...

I feel sick.

When I found the room inside of the library and learned what had happened to Kiibo I had a panic attack and was found by some custodial staff apparently who were in the area to clear out the dead flowers I had found in there, that person then called other staff who must have calmed me down enough to get me out of there because I don't remember what happened during most of this.

They seem to be concerned about what exactly to do with me, so for the past few days I've been left here alone, I haven't gone to physical therapy and the limited interaction I have received was a plate of food being left inside of the room.

I didn't eat, I couldn't eat I'm sure I would have thrown it up. 

I don't know what I'm going to do, to be honest, I'm just tired...

~-~-~-~

*KNOCK KNOCK*

"Saihara?" Maiko asked as she walked inside the room glancing at the discarded trays of food, "god..." she muttered as she looked over at me with pity, "how long did you know...?" I asked my voice sounded dry. She looked nervous about answering, "we were going to tell you all once you improved more...before we had the funeral..." she admitted.

"How long did you know?" I repeated. She took a deep breath, "Kiibo died during the attack" she told me and my eyes widened, "did he...did he get shot...?" I asked but she shook her head, "no...he wasn't shot" she told me as she seemed unsure on how to tell me something.

"Kiibo...Saihara in the simulation, you know how there was the NanoKumas inside of the game?" she asked, I nodded, "well that's only for the masterminds use, for let's say audience use we have a camera via a participant inside of the game, the only times we have an exception is for example how your season ended when Kiibo died.

"The camera is different from a normal participant like you Saihara, they sign up for life," she told me and my eyes widened, "life? But why would anyone do that?" I asked, "I mean I don't even understand why I would want to do one game yet much less more than one!"

"For some, it's because of poverty, the money earned as a participant helps their families, and for others, it's an obsession with Danganronpa...for Kiibo...it was a matter of preservation" she worded carefully, "preservation?" I asked, "Kiibo was dying when he was put into the games to become a camera, this illness was going to claim his life but the simulation helped his body fight against the illness and prolong his life, while it never would have saved his life it allowed him to live for several more years" she explained.

Kiibo... "So he was dying? Is that why he isn't here...he just died of his illness?" I asked she paused unsure of something. "Yes..." she said finally but I could tell she was hiding something from me, "so Kiibo was in multiple seasons? Was he in yours?" I asked.

"No, he became the camera right after mine because the previous camera, unfortunately, passed away...it's a shame, that girl was always very kind according to my fellow participants and veterans during her seasons" she admitted as she looked a bit mournful.

I felt bad for bringing it up but I still don't know why exactly she was lying about Kiibo...and if the reason she was lying had something to do with the reason why we were attacked in the first place.