Ouma's POV:

Day 113

GOOD NEWS! I figured out what day it is! I also figured out that I'm finally ambidextrous! Because for WEEKS I've been stuck using my left hand! Will this make me better at juggling? 

I want to try that out, so I'm going to put that on the Dumb Things I Want To-Do List. My pride and joy next to the Rubik's cube I've managed to solve too many times to count, and I don't want to try and count that.

I have a life. It's a boring life right now, but it's a life.

Kiibo might be able to count it though, are robots like calculators though? Or one of those clickers? And what if Kiibo isn't a robot? I'll never get an answer! D:

Despite the last time I tried exploring it nearly cost me my life, attacks from the outside world is so fun! Especially when you don't know what's going on or why that happened.

I bet I can make that a good book out of what happened that day. That One Time I Got Stuck In A Closet With My Former Crush Who Turned Out To Be A Dick And I Hate Him Now But Oh No He Saved My Life So God Damn It- Part 1.

For some reason, I don't think the book will be picked up for a film adaptation by Netflix. Maybe the title is too long? I think it's pretty perfect.

ANYWAYS- SO today I went exploring again and discovered a library! I didn't go inside that day though, because then I saw HIM, so I got the heck out of there. Seriously, no emos allowed when I'm trying to find my very necessary mangas.

So I'm about to try again! Wish me good luck future self! That's reading this and thinking: Oh boy that was a bad decision. I'm used to those by now I bet.

Or maybe I'm not.

I set down my pen and put away the notebook, welp it's time...I sat inside of the wheelchair and wheeled off towards the library, there was barely anyone in the hallways for some reason which confused me as I entered back into the room...

"Oh...Ouma" he called. God damn it, of course, the emo found the library before I did.

I started to turn around, "Wait!" Saihara called, "what?" I asked. Saihara looked down and he seemed to be sweating heavily as he rubbed his hands uncomfortably...finally he took a deep breath, "at...at least grab whatever you were looking for...no talking required for that right...?" he asked.

What do you want...? I hesitantly entered and headed over to the opposite side of the library, it was the nonfiction area sadly. I scanned the books as I looked for anything that could hint at the outside world, but instead, it was insect books, Gokuhara would like this...wait can he read?, I shook my head snapping him out of my thoughts.

Shift

I turned around and saw some manga on the nearby table, Saihara was 'sneakily' moving away. I looked down...Case Closed...we read that when we were in the game...

I left them alone shaking my head. 

I knew it was a bad idea to come in here when I saw him, I knew that we wouldn't have been able to avoid each other why was I such an idiot?! It was laughable, I quickly made my way to the door, Saihara looked at me confused before he looked at me scared.

"Ouma wait I-" Saihara said reaching out as I slapped away his hand, "don't say anything...don't you dare say anything..." I hissed, "wait please don't-" Saihara started, "just...just..." I sighed, "what do you want Saihara? One minute you're a fucking bitch, and the next you think you're a hero, what do you want from me Saihara?! BECAUSE I WILL BE PERFECTLY FINE NOT SEEING YOU AGAIN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!" I screamed.

"I don't know what I want...I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore, or how I can fix anything...if the world outside is so messed up...if I keep messing up with everyone in the game...with you, what am I going to do...? Heh...I don't have anything..." Saihara told me shaken, I could see the distress and panic in his eyes.

Oh, how the roles have reversed.

"You don't know....you DON'T KNOW?" I looked at him angrily, "oh cause I thought this entire time your one goal was to make sure I remembered every damn second I saw you what I did! LET ME JUST SAY YOU'RE DOING A FUCKING GOOD JOB AT IT!" I told him laughing, "I'm shouldn't have- let me fix-" Saihara stuttered.

"You can't fix anything Saihara don't you get it? You couldn't save anyone from the fucking game, you couldn't figure out what was going on unless I laid out the fucking steps for you, who was the one who did ANYTHING to try and get us out of that hellhole Saihara? Are you fucking dense? You're not the hero anymore Saihara! You're a normal person! SO STOP ALREADY!" I told him as I headed out.

This time Saihara didn't call out, but as I turned the corner...I heard him crying.

I didn't feel anything about that though, no guilt or some kind of pride....just numb.

Turns out I am not used to bad decisions. I am still making them.

I also think I can start making a part two in the long-lasting book series. I think I'm finally going to get to move on with my life. Well not like I have any problems, I don't think I'm the type to dwell on these things as long as I have some sort of purpose in mind.

I can't let go of my objective or I'm going to go insane, I don't want to think of it, I CAN'T think of it or I will lose myself like back inside of the closet and no one needs that. I can't be weak.

I scribbled that last part out as I went back to playing with the Rubik's cube.