Saihara's POV:

It's been three long days. I was expecting a long lecture or some kind of punishment when I slapped Ouma, it may have been instinctual, probably making it worse, and he may have also been attacking me...but I shouldn't have slapped him.

Because not even five minutes later I heard the nurses and doctors rushing in, and Ouma unconscious getting carried out on a stretcher. What have I done? What happened? I wanted to call after for a second, to Ouma...I kept my hand back and just watched him go. 

I wanted to ask Maiko about what had happened to Ouma, but...the second I saw her she just looked at me disappointed. 'Go easy on him', she said...and what did I do? I slapped him across the face after we argued. After I called him some awful things...he did the same, but that kind of defense is childish. She asked me to help him, instead, I fought with him. Not exactly what she asked...

I want to say sorry. I want to, but...the more I think about how everyone was hurt, the way Momota and Gokuhara died, all the lies he told, he lied to Gokuhara right before he died, Ouma was a manipulator. Nothing can change what he did, some things I do understand...I know why Momota had to die...I know why  Gokuhara had to die...I know all about his little psychotic plan, but guess what people still died for that plan, how can I be ok with that?

Does the fact he had good intentions change the fact that people still died, that I wish he made different decisions? I wish every single day I could have a do-over, an ending where Akamatsu and Amami didn't have to die the way they did at the beginning, we expose Shirogane somehow and that's it.

No one betraying each other, no one having to die that way.

Such an ending isn't realistic though. I have to deal with where all our choices led us, and maybe that's what makes this whole situation so hard. Because at some point...at some point I will have to talk to Ouma again. 

I already accepted we will be forced to reach a middle way. Won't ever be friends. Doesn't mean we have to like each other though right?

~-~-~-~

The door opened with Maiko after four days, she looked tired at me as she sat down, "I'm sorry-" I started but she just shook her head, "you can apologize to him, Saihara...will you explain what happened?" she asked.

I sighed, where do I start? "I think it's common knowledge Ouma and I wasn't on good terms when the game ended, the opposite is true when I saw him...I promised I would try, I know that but every single time I look at him, I see the face of the person after Gokuhara's execution...I see the person who played us before Momota died, I see the person who didn't trust anyone and lied and orchestrated the game, while he might not have been the one running the game entirely he did make certain events happen...I admit I don't want him to die or get hurt...but I can't help the fact that I hate him Maiko...I'm sorry but you have no idea what it was actually like in there unless you are from the games...but...but he was a monster at times, and a person I thought would have been my friend at his best...

"Now I just wonder which was the lie and which was the truth, why? Why did it have to end like that? Why did we have to end up hating each other like that? I remember when we played all of his stupid games, it was fun, I thought...I thought maybe he wasn't as bad as he pretended to be...but...

"You know how it ended. I understand his motives...I had the same...we took it in different directions...but his direction was a bloody path...one...one I'm terrified to think of how much in that game happened because of his puppet mastery" I confessed.

Maiko didn't respond for a while, she at least made eye contact as she took a deep breath, "I don't blame you for your hatred...and you're right, I didn't go through exactly what you did...I went through an experience that is more similar to Ouma's actually which makes his struggles more personal to me, but I understand the pain you must have felt at being one of three survivors...it must have been so lonely for you at the end...I want to understand what kind of guilt you feel Saihara...I want to be able to help and guide you in the right direction, it's not just because that is my job but a genuine desire...

"Saihara. You don't have to be friends with Ouma, just try ok? Both you and Ouma need to make an effort to at least find some kind of middle ground, so you don't have to end up cursing each other for the rest of your lives...but I'm not forcing any meetings between you two anymore, minus the group sessions" She made clear.

"Speaking of meetings, someone has accepted your request recently," Maiko said, a small smile returning to her face. I raised an eyebrow, "Momota? Harukawa? Yumeno?" I guessed, she shook her head, "Kaede Akamatsu"

~-~-~-~

??? POV:

I walked down the hall, making my way back down the usual path, I even brought some lip gloss today. Is it weird to want to look nice for someone who isn't even awake yet? I always end up trying to look nice.

"Kuri" I heard a voice call, I turned around as I saw Akio Hanasuke standing there. He was different after the game, he was still tall and even seemed to grow more muscles after we left, yet I still couldn't believe how he had grown tan in a place like this, his more messy hair was cut into a more military haircut, he still kept his camo jacket though even if underneath was the uniform for the hospital.

I twisted my hair, "what is it Akio?" I asked, he sighed, "you're visiting him again aren't you?" he asked, I nodded, "why wouldn't I visit him Akio? You need to visit him too, and Hikaru" I scolded, "the game has been over for years you know" I scolded.

Akio looked at me with sorrow, "he isn't going to wake up Kuri...it's been years...at first, I thought you were just fine, you seemed fine...Kuri, how long are you going to wait for him though? You don't have to be here anymore" he reminded.

"Neither do you," I said bitterly, "the difference is that this is what I want, and you're here because you feel guilt-tripped about it," he remarked. I looked down, "don't...don't ok? I don't want to talk about this with you" I cursed.

"What's going to happen when he dies Kuri?" he asked, my eyes widened, "are you going to shut down? Go insane? Those kids need you, I need you, you know what happened to someone like you, they went insane, I don't want that to happen to you-"

"I'll wait, I will always wait till the day I die, and the day he dies I will still dedicate my life to waiting for him so I can redeem both of our sins Akio, something you won't be able to understand, we've known each other for years and if you can't even understand that then you should just quit trying to reason with me" I shouted as I walked away further.

Akio didn't call after.