Chapter Fifty: The Right To Exist

Ouma's POV:

The memories finally melted away as I found myself back in the room, pregame and me were still sitting in the same position as the room continued to break apart I could only watch as what left of my psyche crumble under the pressure...

As my life slowly escaped my grasp I looked over to him, he was looking down ashamed. What do I say now...? What can I do now...? I don't know what to do to get out of here...I'm going to die...and I can't believe it...I can't believe this is how it ends...

I...I'm still not ready to die... there are so many things I haven't done yet, it can't be over just like that can it?  It can't be...I crumpled against the wall as I hung onto my knees trying to keep my composure as I watched my surroundings break around me and break off into the black endless void.

"So this is it? Isn't it?" I asked him, he looked over to me and nodded gloomily, "I'm afraid this is the end" he told me as he smiled sadly looking at me, I hugged myself tighter trying to contain my fear, I already died once...I should be used to this by now right?

So why...why am I still so scared? Why...why can't I act brave about this at the very least? 

"Did you know...that before I was born the doctors told my mother she would be having twins?" he said, I turned over to him as he looked up at the ceiling, his stutter was gone and that confused me, "she and my father were so excited...they prepared a baby room and must have gone through hundreds of names, from joke names, matching names, and then just normal names, they had a bit to much fun with it" he admitted laughing "at least that's what my Aunts and Uncles have told me, they might have exaggerated he remarked.

"But...it wasn't meant to be..." he admitted looking sad, "the day my brother and I were born it turned out he was stillborn...but I didn't die..." he said, "when I first heard the story it must have been when I was around twelve and I remember...I was disappointed because I thought it would have been cool to have a twin brother...so I ended up making up fake personalities and tried to imagine what he would have been like..." he confessed before turning to me, "that image of a brother I never had...is what led to you" he said.

My eyes widened, "I imagined what the opposite of myself would be like, someone brave and confident and wouldn't let others use him, he would be funny and charismatic and very smart, someone people could look up to...so when they asked me if I had any ideas for what character I wanted to be I ended up telling this same story to them, that mixed with my desires to become someone who could protect rather than be the victim became you.

"So in a way...I kind of see you like my brother..." he told me, "like in a strange karmic sense...we're switching out, where he now gets to live a life and I'll become the one who died" he finally said smiling sadly.

My eyes widened, "what do you mean?" I asked, looking at him dead in the eye, he didn't budge only held out his hand towards the void...and that's when I truly began to look at him.

His whole body was transparent, flickering in and out of sight as if some kind of glitched program, was terrifying and must have hurt but he didn't show any pain on his face as he teetered near the edge of the void looking at it.

"What...what are you doing?" I asked, I felt breathless as he turned to face me, he was for the first time no longer in his school uniform instead wearing a black hoodie and white pants, his bandages faded away and instead, I met a pair of amethyst eyes laced with such deep despair I couldn't quite understand.

"We can't both exist" he reminded me, "we've both known this truth since the beginning, and that's why we decided to share our memories in the first place, so we could decide who would get to be the one to live on...the one who would get control of this body and get the second chance at life we were both so desperate for...and while you played fair...I didn't" he acknowledged.

"I tried to kill you, I tried to destroy any last chance you might have had because I wanted to be my person in the end...I didn't want to be you...only...it's not because of what I once thought...you aren't a monster...but you aren't a saint either...no...you are a human, a human who did his best...but his best still led to people suffering, you're just like me" he stated.

"You-you don't have to disappear though! I'm sure we can find some sort of way to save you! You...you don't have to die! You don't have to just keel over and die! FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE GOD DAMN IT!" I screamed at him desperate, even though this person, was the antithesis of everything I vowed now to be in life... even though he was the reason I exist... even though he's behind so much of my pain and trauma...

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!" I screamed, his eyes widened for a second as he stood there in shock looking at me, I felt myself trembling as I stood hopelessly on as he kept fading faster and faster, he was barely visible at this point and I had to squint to see him as he cupped my face in his hands, I couldn't even feel it.

"I can't believe it...you care about me...?" he asked in disbelief, I nodded, "YES! SO YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP LIKE THIS! I CAN- WE CAN FIND A WAY TO FIX THIS ALRIGHT? ANY WAY SO NEITHER OF US WILL HAVE TO DIE! THINK OF SOMETHING! ANYTHING! DON'T YOU WANT TO LIVE?!" I pleaded.

The other didn't say anything only seeming to cry silently as a sad smile spread on his face he closed his eyes and chuckled, "we...we became friends? Didn't we?" he asked, as he put his hands behind his back.

"STOP!" I screamed "can I ask...can I have one last selfish request before I have to go?" he asked, "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE SO SHUT UP!" I screamed, "please...please tell my parents...my friends, that I'm sorry for what happened...and that I loved them...that's all....after that you can leave this old life behind and have yours...and if you don't do it...I understand" he told me, he seemed calmer now almost peaceful and that tore me apart even more.

How...how can someone just accept something like this so easily?!

"I'm glad...I'm glad I got the chance to meet you...Kokichi Ouma..." he greeted, my eyes widened as he gave me a small wave as he allowed his body to fall back into the void, I ran up desperate to catch him, to save him, but his body passed through my fingertips and without a second he was gone.

He didn't fade into a big heavenly light...he didn't even have good last words...he just disappeared as if he had never even existed in the first place, I fought desperately against the space trying to grasp anything left of him, anything that remained of him as the room stopped crumbling apart and started to rebuild itself...

"....I'm glad...I got to meet you too..." I mouthed out as I held my chest as I sobbed, the room becoming a room with just one door...and one chair before the darkness swallowed me back up and I awaited whatever fate was waiting for me now.

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