Fuck

~~

I sat down next to Ray at lunch as I smiled.

"Hey, Gee, what's up?" Brendon asked.

"I buyed a new skirt yesterday and it's so pretty," I said.

Pete recently taught me what 'what's up' means, so now people don't get confused when I get confused because I didn't understand what it meant.

"That's cool," Ray said. "You want half my cookie?"

I shook my head and he shrugged, eating it for himself. I still didn't like cookies, they just made me think of Lindsey and it made me so sad.

"How was class today?" Ryan asked.

"It was good," I said. "Mr. McDonald gave me a new book to read."

"What book?" Ray asked.

"I think it's called Holes," I said.

"Holes? Awe, I remember when I read that when I was ten," Ray said. "It was nice."

"It's too hard," I pouted. "And there's no pictures either, I don't like it."

"It's a good book, I think you'll like it," Ray said.

I shook my head taking out my sandwich. I wish Mikey and Pete were in the same lunch with me too.

"So, how's therapy?" Ryan asked.

"It's okay, Miss Williams said that maybe I can visit my Mama in prison," I said.

"Ooh, sounds fun," Brendon said. "You excited?"

I smiled and nodded quickly. I loved spending time with Frank's friends, they were all so nice and cared about me. Sometimes Ryan and Ray would even take me out with them to the movies and stuff. That was the first time I've been to the movies and it was so weird. But Ray kept reminding me that I had to be quiet during the movie because I was talking. It was weird because I didn't know you could go to such a big place with such a big screen to watch a movie. And they also had big windows full of popcorn, I thought it was funny.

Lunch eventually ended and I walked with them to my next class. Someone shoved me and I whimpered as tears filled my eyes.

"Retard," he muttered.

"Hey, don't fucking touch him," Ray said, standing between us.

Brendon shoved the guy and he walked off. Ryan held my hand and smiled softly.

"You okay?" He asked.

I sniffled and nodded as I looked down.

"Don't listen to them," Ryan said. "They're just bullies."

"Bowl-ies?" I asked in confusion.

"What? No, I mean they're just not nice," he said.

"They're monsters," I stated.

I went into my class and sighed as I sat down. Halfway through though I asked to go to the bathroom. I grabbed my bag and walked out, trying to find frank. Eventually, I just left the school. I ended up at the same park I was at with frank. I sat on the swing and frank eventually showed up on the swing next to me in the empty playground.

"Daddy, people were being monsters," I cried. "They were so mean."

"But my friends protected you, they'll keep you safe," Frank said. "And you can't listen to them because none of it's true. You're a beautiful little princess and to hell if people think otherwise."

I smiled happily, going to his swing to sit on his lap. Frank started swinging and I shrieked, clutching onto him.

"No, no swing," I denied. "I don't like."

Frank stopped it, just letting it sway back and forth gently as I relaxed.

"You don't like swings?" Frank asked.

"Nuh-uh," I said. "Too high, it's scary."

"Alright, we'll just sway then," he said, kissing my cheek.

I smiled happily, resting my head on his shoulder.

"I don't wanna go anywhere, I just wanna spend time with you," I said.

"You've gotta go, sweetheart," he said.

I shook my head and he sighed.

"Is Bob really still making you work?" Frank asked.

"No, but I want to because I'm friends with Jamia now," I said. "She's cool, she reminds me of you. She really likes music and art and stuff. And she's really funny too. She teached me the alphabet because I didn't know and during our break sometimes she teaches me other stuff too."

"Well, I'm glad you have a new friend," Frank said.

"Can I skip, daddy?" I asked. "I don't wanna go anywhere today. Pwetty pwease?"

"You know what, if you ask your dad and he says it's okay then we can stay in your room and play today," Frank stated.

I smiled, pulling out my phone. It rang but he picked up after a few moments.

"Hey, Gee," he said.

"Hi, can I stay home today?" I asked.

"How come?" My dad asked.

"Because I'm just tired," I said. "I don't wanna do anything today."

He sighed quietly. "Fine, you can stay home, but only for today."

I gasped and smiled happily.

"Thank you!" I exclaimed before hanging up.

I hugged Frank tight and he laughed.

"Now we can play together all day!" I cheered.

He smiled, picking me up. Frank carried me the entire way home until we got up to my bedroom.

"Didn't your arms get tired?" I asked.

"No, you feel like a little feather to me now," he said.

"I'm hungry," I said. "Can I have crackers?"

He nodded, going downstairs. Frank came back with a little bowl of crackers and i smiled happily. He wrapped an arm around me while I ate happily and turned on my laptop to play Hello Kitty. I snuggled against him and hummed happily.

"Daddy, when are you gonna go away again?" I asked.

"Don't think about that," he said. "Just think about how I'm spending time with you right now."

I kissed his cheek and he smiled.

"I love you, princess," he said.

"I don't wanna just watch cartoons though, I can do that when you're not here," I said. "I wanna play with you."

"Okay, but first you've gotta do your homework," he said.

I pouted but pulled out my book, closing my laptop. I started reading and was only a few paragraphs in when I felt my eyes sting with tears. When I first started reading, I called them 'word chunks' until Mr. McDonald corrected and said they were paragraphs. I personally think word chunks sounds better.

"What's wrong, baby boy?" He asked.

"It's too hard," I cried. "I don't understand and the words are too big."

"Here," Frank said, taking the book from me.

I cuddled up in his lap as he started reading to me.

"What's Texas?" I asked when he was only a few words in.

"It's a state," Frank said. "Like how you live in New Jersey. Have you been learning the states?"

"Yeah but we're only up to the Ms so far," I said.

He kept reading and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"What's a hammock?" I asked.

"It's almost like a bed sort of thing," He said. "But it's made out of like a sheet almost and it hangs from two poles. Maybe I can make you a hammock one day."

Frank continued on with his reading. "'The campers are forbidden to lie in the hammock. It belongs to the Warden. The'--"

"What's a warden?" I asked.

"It's like the person who's in charge of the camp," he said.

"What's a camp?" I asked.

"It's a place that people go to," Frank said. "Alright, 'Out on the lake, rattlesnakes and scorpions'--"

"What's a scorpion?" I asked.

"It's this bug right here," he said, pointing to the tattoo in his neck.

"It doesn't look nice," I said.

"Well, they usually aren't," Frank said. "But like the next paragraph says, don't bother them and they won't bother you."

"I like it when you read to me," I said. "I don't understand when I read alone, there's too many things I don't know."

"But you're learning," Frank said. "And you know what, you're ten times smarter than when I first met you, you're almost as smart as Einstein now."

"I still don't know who Einstein is," I said.

"He is someone who is very smart," Frank said.

"Am I smart?" I asked.

"Of course you are," he said. "You're the smartest little boy in the whole wide world."

I smiled, resting my head against his chest.

"The kids at school don't think so," I said, my smile faltering. "They say I'm stupid and call me retarded. What does retarded mean?"

"Don't listen to them," Frank said, kissing the top of my head. "You're a genius."

"What's a genius?" I asked.

"Someone who is very, very smart," he stated.

"Like you," I said, looking up at him. "I think you're a genius. And an angel too. You're a genius angel. And I love you so super duper much."

"I love you too, sweetheart," he said. "Now c'mon, you've gotta finish your homework."

"Not now," I said. "I wanna listen to you play your guitar again."

"I don't have it with me, it's at my house," he said.

"Let's go to your house then!" I cheered happily.

I held his hand, standing up. We walked out and down the street. It took a little while but I finally got to Frank's neighborhood. As we neared the house, Frank disappeared and I frowned in confusion. When his house came into view, I was horrified from what I saw.

There were boxes on the front yard and tables covered in stuff. All of Frankie's stuff. There was a sign that said 'yard sale' in the ground. People were all looking and touching Frank's stuff, some were even taking them into their cars and driving away.

"What are you doing?!" I shrieked. "You can't touch that! It's Frankie's!"

I took the book from someone's hand who was looking at it.

"Stop it!" I shouted to the people who were looking through the racks of clothes. "That's not yours! You can't have it!"

"Gee," Ms. Iero said, hurrying over to me.

She handed the book back to the person and I screamed. She brought me inside the house quickly while I cried.

"Gee, sweetheart, calm down," she whispered as she sat with me on the couch.

"What are you doing?!" I cried. "They're taking all of Frankie's stuff!"

"They're buying it, sweetheart," she said. "I've decided to get rid of his stuff, it'll help to move on."

"No, no, no," I denied. "You can't, it's not yours to give away."

"Sweetheart, Frank doesn't need this stuff anymore," Ms. Iero said. "But now other people who do need it or want it can have it."

I shook my head quickly, wrapping my arms around my middle.

"No, it's Frankie's," I said. "They can't have it."

"Tell you what," she said. "You can have some of the money too, you can buy yourself a new outfit or something."

"No, they don't touch Frankie's things," I stated.

She wrapped her arms around me and I sobbed into her shoulder. She rubbed my back softly until I finally calmed down.

"How about you go grab a box and fill it up with whatever you want?" She suggested. "That way you can still have a box of his things but the other people can have the rest of his stuff."

I didn't like it, I wanted all his stuff. I crossed my arms, shaking my head. I ran upstairs to Frank's room, slamming the door shut behind me. The room had been stripped completely bare. There was still his desk and shelf and bed and dresser but it wasn't like Frank's anymore. Everything else was gone, all the posters and little knick knacks were gone. Even his bed was stripped of its sheets.

"Baby boy, it's okay," Frank said.

I looked behind me at him as my lip quivered.

"They can have my old stuff," he said. "I don't need it anymore."

"B-but it's not theirs, they're not allowed to touch," I whimpered.

"But I said it's okay," Frank stated. "If I think it's okay does that make you feel better?"

I shrugged and he kissed my cheek.

"But with your box I need you to grab something very special for me, okay?" He asked.

I nodded quickly, looking up at him curiously.

"There's a little wooden box that I saw in a plastic bin with a bunch of other stuff," he said. "I need you to grab it, okay?"

"What's inside of it, daddy?" I asked.

"My special toys," Frank said. "And it's very important that you get it before anyone else does. I don't think my mom looked inside, she just shoved a bunch of things into a bin without paying attention to them."

I nodded my head, going downstairs to collect Frank's stuff.