12-22-15
Let me apologize for how ranty my last few entries have been. They really served no purpose except to, well... Vent. Anyways, I don't plan on doing only emotional posts, unless something REALLY bad happens. So, the updates:
-My main obsesssion/fear for the past week has been sexuality- worrying about what I am (I'm so confused at this point...). Irrational fears, I know. That's been fun... Slowly increasing over the past week, and finally exploding when my CBT really triggered it. Had an emotional breakdown, there was crying, etc... I'm feeling a bit better now, though. It's like building a muscle, I suppose. You tear it down and it hurts, but when it comes back it's stronger.
-FOOD! My therapist has made a new plan for dealing with foods, and we've been working on more meal-orientated stuff. For example, the other day I broke my record on pizza (5 bites vs. 4), AND I didn't cry! Woohoo! Also had some pasta covered in cheese and tomato sauce (Which took forever to start eating, but I got faster as I ate more of it). Today I had a culture club (No, not the band) meeting, with Culture Club, French Club (*waves to any French students out there*), Spanish Club, and German Club. Tried some misc. stuff like Buche de Noel (Basically a Yule Log), some coffee-chocolate thing, chocolate-hazelnut-cream thing, and a red velvet cupcake. So healthy!
-I also have a field trip in January! I'm going to a farmshow on the 11th, with a bunch of people suffering from OCD (And one dude with an eating disorder very similar to OCD's). We'll be petting animals, sharing food, eating food with our hands, sharing utensils and stuff like that, etc... That doesn't sound bad to you guys, but for me... Yech. I'm psyched to meet some of my therapist's other patients, though! I've only met a few people with it or something close to it- Two in my family, and an acquaintance. Granted, they're all at least 10 years older, but.. Still excited!
Anyways, that's all from me for now.. Cya guys later!
- Gracie