3/15/17
So last night I had a big breakdown, and it hit me just how bitter I've become over the years. I think these are all possible contributing factors...

- Mocked and then ignored by 97% of school population
- OCD/hypochondria/disordered eating
- Feeling misunderstood by nearly everyone
- SUPER Introverted

I'm pretty sure the school part is most of it-- Sometimes, I don't want to wear nice clothes/makeup because that's what the people who've harassed/ignored me wore. I just feel so angry, really-- To almost everyone. I don't want to talk to anybody IRL or online, and I always try to isolate myself whenever possible.

And I'm not sure how to fix this, because I don't WANT to be jaded and angry. I want to be the OLD me, where I didn't avoid talking to friends, when I wore nice things, and when I didn't care as much.

But I just don't know how to fix the damage inflicted to my psyche...

"The truth is like fire-- It spreads and consumes me. And like fire, it burns me to nothing. Perhaps one day, I can rise from the ashes of my pain like a phoenix. Maybe, hopefully..."
--- Yours truly