Younghee's POV

He walked out and left me stranded. Nothing is left but the picture frames and I'm just keeping on asking myself only one question.

"how'd we drift so far away from where we left off yesterday?"

Now, I'm lonely like a castaway.

My heart is constantly breaking and yet I can't do anything about it. I realized that breaking of heart is not  a metaphor, it causes actual physical pain. My chest hurts, there is a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach, and severe headaches from all the crying.

My whole body has shut down.

Instead of going outside from my own little darkness world, I just laid down on the bed hugging his hoodie, missing his scent, his actions, his touch, his everything.

I miss you, Kim Taehyung.

I can't stop crying, I miss him so much, I want to return to where we were before but that didn't seem possible.

He didn't even let me say a word, I can't even explain every single thing to him and even if I did, I didn't think that he would believe me.

I'm afraid to go to school, I'm afraid to face him and everyone else. He has always been there when I need him, now that he's gone, I'm scared.

I glanced at the floor to see a pack of cigarette there, trying to remember how many did I smoke last night. It must have been a lot.

Finally, I woke up from my bed still hugging his hoodie. I started crying again; my eyes are all swollen but I don't care.

I reached up for a new pack of cigarette and smoked again. The moment I started to smoke, I coughed hard and this time blood kept increasing. I used a tissue to wipe the blood and started to smoke again.

I don't know what's going on with me but I guess I won't be able to live that long.

For a few hours, my bell rang and I choked, throwing all the cigarettes away. Is it my uncle?

I started to wipe my eyes while walking to the door. I opened it to see Jimin in his uniform, standing there looking at me weakly.

Instead of feeling angry or getting my blood boiled, I just felt weak and tired to say anything to him. I couldn't utter a word and my eyes kept producing more tears as I thought about what happened in the hotel − that leads to this disaster.

"Younghee ..." He called me, but my eyes can't seem to cooperate with me at the moment. My vision became all blurry; I could only hear unclear voices from him.

A few seconds later, I felt my body on the ground hardly and I couldn't see or hear anything anymore.

                                   •••

I opened my eyes to see myself laying down on my own bed, with a wet towel on my forehead. I tried to wake up slowly though my body is tearing me apart.

"Younghee," Jimin called out silently while sitting down on the bed. "Are you okay now?" He asked, placing his hands on my shoulders.

i'm not okay.

I looked at his face once to only see Taehyung's face coming back to me so I shook my head twice.

I looked at Jimin's face once again to see his weak side flashing back to me. He must've remembered the thing last night.

"Jimin ... Tell me why did things turn out this way..?" I muffled sobs avoiding his gaze but he just pulled me closer, hugging me.

"I'm so sorry, I must've been stupid and seriously drunk to do that." His voice started to shake when he caressed my hair slowly. "I should clear things out, shouldn't I?" He whispered and I shook my head that laid on his chest.

"It's no use anymore, he won't believe me." I cried louder, hugging him back with all my force. I only have him now and I don't plan on making him leave.

"I'm really sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry Younghee." He kept apologizing and I just kept crying, hiccuping and sobbing.

"It's okay.. Jimin, things have already become like this. I can't do anything about it, we can't do anything about it." I explained, patting his back.

I could only hear him sigh back, so I just stopped saying. He must have been crying, too.

We stayed there for a few minutes until he broke the hug. Tears still lingered in his eyes and I just felt the urge of crying even more whenever I see boys cry.

"You should rest," He put me back down to bed and he sat down beside me. "Do you need anything? Are you hungry?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Wait here, I'm going to buy you warm foods." He used his thumb to caress my forehead slightly.

He exited the room and I sighed, gripping my chest. Everything hurts. I felt numb and dizzy, so I shut my eyes tight while ignoring the pain.

It didn't take long for him to buy the foods. He arrived and quickly went to the kitchen. I woke up from my bed slowly and he came to sit down beside me, holding a bowl of soup.

"Eat up," He fed me and I just had to eat although I'm not hungry. "Eat lots so that you won't be any skinner than this." He said, feeding me a spoonful after another.

"I'm skinner?" I asked and he wiggled his eyebrows.

"You don't know? You look like a skeleton now," He said and I smiled.

Finally, I finished eating and he even got me a glass of water for me to drink.

I drank it up and exhaled. "You're not going back? It's already evening." I asked him and he remained silent.

"Now that you're all stuffed, you don't need me anymore?" He asked me teasingly and we both chuckled.

"You should rest too, you know." I told him and he stood up from the chair.

"Alright, I'm going to get some rest as well." He smiled and we both walked to the door. I unlocked the door for him.

"Don't think a lot okay?" He requested and I nodded. "I'm going to visit you every single day so that you'll become healthier, piggier and cuter." He ruffled my hair; the corners of his lips rising.

I smiled back, turning myself around to see Taehyung coming out from his room with Jisoo.

We all remained silent for a few seconds until Jisoo intertwined her fingers together with Taehyung, walking pass us. I bit my bottom lip hardly, avoiding myself from crying.

I felt Jimin's hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see his worried face. I smiled, indicating him that I'm okay and he should go back.

He left and I entered my room back, closing the door and felt myself sliding down as my legs got weak.

My heart ached again and I cupped my mouth with my hand, letting a few tears rolled down.

Instantly, I experienced a shortness of breath again. I tried to inhale and exhale quickly. Clearly, I'm suffocating again.

I decided to go out of my room and exhaled the chilly evening air. It only pained my throat, my lungs, my respiratory system.

I walked to a hospital nearby and stood there, hesitating whether I should go in or not.

I sighed, going inside greeting a doctor that was standing there talking with a nurse.

They asked me some questions then I waited for 5 minutes in order to go into the checkup room. The doctor held a paper about my conditions and read it when suddenly his phone rang.

"I'm sorry, I'm going to pick up my phone for a few moments." He told me and I nodded.

"Oh Jisoo ah? I have two more patients left, you can eat first with your mom." I overhead his conversation and doubts started to come into my head.

He came back and sat down in front of me. I read the name tag on his doctor's suit that said 'hye jinwoo'.

what the actual fuck, he can't be .. my dad right?!

"Young girl, I'm so sorry to tell you that you've been diagnosed with Stage I of lung cancer." He spoke softly and my jaw dropped.

lung cancer? stage I? it can't be right?

"You'll have to take an operation in a month, or else it will be too late." He said once again and I just sat there staring blankly at him. "Here are some medicines that will help you lessen the pain, but don't take too many." He handed me some pills that I've never known about.

For a few seconds, I heard knocks on the door. A nurse peeked her head in looking at us, "Doctor Hye, a patient keeps yelling because of the eyes pain, please come and do the checkup on him." She said quickly and the doctor bowed, leaving me in the room.

dad ... you left me again.

I walked outside the room attempting to pay for the pills at the receptionist's place but I was stopped by a shouting from a room.

I looked through a transparent glass to see Doctor Hye, two nurses, and more importantly, Taehyung.

He covered his eyes with his palms, he was screaming on how painful it was, he was crying, and he was trying to breath.

My hands began to tremble, my jaw dropped, my heart ached, and my tears came out forcefully like waterfalls. I cried silently, watching him from afar.

"I'm nothing to him anymore and yet, why does this part right here hurt so much?" I thought to myself, gripping the left side of my shirt tight.

he's just ... way too far away.