Dear Evan Hansen,
Today doesn't seem like an amazing day, and here's why. YOU JINXED IT! You are currently shaking and going completely insane! It's so bad! But it feels so good! But besides the mini spazz attack you're having. Everything's fine. Plus, things aren't gonna get anyworse, right? It's just...it feels like instead of blood flowing through your veins. Coffee has replaced the blood in your body and it's really tripping you out. Like that one blonde guy from south park named Twerk...or Tween...I don't know his name...

Sincerely your best and most dearest friend,
Me!!!

I close my journal. And grabbed my...1st...2nd?....5th! Yeah! My 5th cup of Coffee. Wow. I can't believe they actually let me do this. I mean, I would've said no for obvious reasons but, I don't know, I just felt like it. Zoe got up for a cup of her own and I guess the words 'Could I have some?' just came out! Heh, Just like Connor! I begin laughing out loud, the other's are probably giving me weird looks. I'm acting really weird aren't I? Well I don't care, this coffee and that joke is amazing!

"EVAN!" I heard someone screech my name and I automatically snapped out of it. My laughter stopped.

"....Wh-What?" I stuttered, did something happen? What did I miss? Was I really spacing out for that long?

"How much Coffee have you had?" Connor asks, I pause and think. I just said I had five...but it feels like more. How much have I had? I look at him and just shrug my shoulders. They all look very concerned, even Jared, which is surprising.

"Yeah buddy, I think you need to stop." Alana said, I looked at her for a while and then I snorted thinking what she was saying was a joke. But then I truly saw her facial expression and my smiled dropped.

"Oh wait, you're serious?" I questioned as she nodded.

"Duh! You don't seem like yourself. You're shaking. A lot." Alana looked at me up and down, I knew she wasn't wrong. I was shaking, I could feel it, and it didn't feel bad. But at the same time I never wanna feel like this again. It's way too much pressure!

"Well we all know what's gonna happen," Zoe huffed "He's gonna crash sooner or later."

Those words sent me into panic. Crash? What does she mean by that? I really hope it's metaphorical, but what if it's not? I could die! Why would she even say that!? Does she want me to crash!? Does everyone want me to crash!? Oh god, that would be horrible!

"OH MY GOD! I'M GONNA CRASH!?" I yelled out of nowhere, but when I tried to get up and run everything slowed down. I felt...tired. Zoe then pointed at me and everyone else seemed like they knew exactly what she was talking about. But I didn't! What was going on? My eyes slowly began to shut as darkness closed in on my vision. The last thing I saw were my friends smiling. Smiling? At me? Why? Did they enjoy the sight of me in this state? Maybe they really didn't like me? I'm horrified and it's dark. Really...really...dark..

. . .

Suddenly it was bright again the darkness was gone but no one was here. My head was throbbing, it was very painful. I look around and I just see a body sitting on the couch, I grab it by the leg and it looks down at me. I have no idea what it is, everything's still blurry. The thing's leg pushes me away, it didn't want me to touch it. I grabbed the leg once again, hoping it would say something to help me identify it.

"Evan, fuck off." It pushed me away again, it knows my name? What could it be? I rub my eyes, trying to wash the blurry vision away. My vision slowly became clearer and cleared.

It was just Connor.

Ooooh, makes sense. Why would I think it was just some creature. I obviously didn't teleport anywhere. That would be weird, extremely weird.

"Sorry. I didn't know." I mumbled turning away, still too tired to get up.

"Where's everyone esle?" I questioned, he rolled his eyes, the question seemed to annoy him.

"Well, our bitchy friends decided to go out and get breakfast for everyone. And stuck me with you, since you were still asleep. I mean, this is better than going into the disgusting outside world. Humans are pieces of shit who destroyed the Earth. I'd rather stay inside here any day of my life."

I laughed a bit, I loved the way Connor potrayed things. Yeah, I know he's not joking and all. But the way the world worked just seemed so true that it was a bit funny as well. I smiled at him.

"What are you doing with your face?"

"Hmm?"

"That..face.."

"Smiling?"

"...yeah. Why are you 'smiling'?"

"Because you're funny, and you made me laugh."

"Oh...thanks. I'm guessing, you crashed?" He asked, I nodded.

"Just like Zoe said.." I huffed, I'm never drinking coffee again. After the feeling in my body came back, and my tiredness drained away. I stood up, sat next to Connor and looked at him. I studied the features on his face, he looked like he just woke up. But he also looked like he hadn't slept at all. Bagged eyes, dull expression, mess hair, yeah I know that was Connor's usual look. But it always made me worried about him, like I wasn't being a good friend to him.

I then realized I was staring, and he was staring back. My face heated up in embarrassment and I quickly looked away.

"S-Sorry, I didn't.." He shook his head.

"No, it's fine." He replied, and I sighed and just looked at the ground. That. Was. Horrifying. I hate when I do that, I wish I didn't do that. Staring at people is weird, and I now feel weird!Connor cut off my panicky, weird, awkward, embarrsing, thoughts with the words.

"Are you alright?"

"Wha..what?"

"You seem a bit anxious."

"O-Oh, it's just...weirdos stare at people...and I feel like a weirdo."

"Heh, we're all weirdos, right?" He smiled at me. That smiled set off a warm feeling in my body. I could feel my face getting hotter and hotter by the second. I then smiled back at him.

"Y-Yeah, I guess so."

We smiled at each other for a while, it was a nice intement moment. This moment had made me realize, Connor IS a good person. Well, I mean, I never thought he was bad, not at all! But what I mean is, I never really thought he cared so much. I could feel my heart thumping. Something just...something, some force or something, was pulling me towards him. I noticed the space between us closing, but I didn't do anything to stop it, and neither was he.

It was about to happen and for some weird reason neither of us were doing anything to stop it. We were inches apart, and my face was red as hell and I knew it. But before anything real could happen we both heard keys being inserted into the door and we immediately recreated the huge gap the was between us before. Zoe, Alana and Jared walked through the door. And I didn't know how to feel about it. A part of me felt happy they were back!

But I kind wish they hadn't walked in yet. Maybe just a little more time, alone with him.

No! It's just the damn headache and coffee! God damn, Coffee Consequences. I am NEVER EVER drinking coffee again. It just makes things worse.