"What's with him?" I ask as Dean stalks off.

"If I told you, you'd put a bullet in his skull." Sam answers, looking after his brother with a look of remorse on his face.

"Yeah. Like I don't want to do that already." I scoff.

We stand in silence for a while, but then I ask it. The question that I've been dying to know the answer to for as long as I can remember.

"So...what's it like?"

"Hmm?" I'm a little surprised he doesn't understand what I mean. Maybe it's just that I've been at camp for so long, but most of the campers have that kind of look-the look that tells you they want out. 

Pretty sure I've got that look mastered. 

"Hunting in the real world. What's it like?"

His face shows a mixture of shocked and confused. "You mean you've never been on a real hunt before? Aren't you training to be hunters?"

"Exactly. Training." I say, and roll my eyes, as I always do when I hit this subject. "Cubak says it's for 'emergencies only', and that she doesn't want any blood on her hands. It pretty much adds up to life here until you turn twenty one."

He seems a little taken aback by my analysis of the situation I'm in. "How long have you been here?"

"Since I was eight. Coming up on nine years by my next birthday. Yeah, I know, it's a long time." I say as his face turns from curious to surprised.

"Where were you before you came here?"

Big mistake on his part asking that.

"None of your business." I snap, and he backs away a few steps. Guess he's not used to teenage girls lashing out at him. 

Lucky for him, he gets the hint and doesn't ask another question. Unluckily enough for him, I want some answers to questions I've had forever. 

"You never answered my question." I point out. 

"Sorry?" Man, this guy apparently didn't have good hearing.

"My question about hunting. What's it like?" 

He stays quiet for a while, as if he's contemplating what to say. "It's hell." He finally decides. "Trust me, you don't know how good you've got it here." 

My heart drops like a stone. That was not the answer I wanted. "You wouldn't say that if you knew what it was like." 

"I'm pretty sure I've got a good idea."

"No, you don't." My words are harsher then usual. "You have no idea. I've lived here for half my life, and you just crash a car through here and suddenly you know more about my situation than I do?"

"You've never been in the real world. You don't know the weight you start carrying on your back when you get out there." Sam stares me down. "One mistake, and the entire world can come crashing down, and it's all your fault. And sometimes, your brother cleans up your mess with a price that can't be paid without a sacrifice. And then you go and make another mess to get him back, and then you find yourself in a cycle of messes that can't be fixed because the only way to fix them completely is by creating another mess."

His composure breaks a little, and I can see a tear form in the corner of his eye, and I know that he's made a lot of mistakes, by the tone of his voice.

 "Do I look like I care about that?" I ask. "I'm willing to risk it all. I want out, and I'm not waiting another five years to do it." 

"You should wait. You'll be practically unbeatable if you keep at it."

"I don't want to start at 21, I want to start now. What age did you start?"

He says something quietly under his breath, and I can't catch it. "Sorry, what was that?"

"Ten, alright? But I wasn't alone. I had a brother and a dad to help protect me." 

"Well, whoop de doo for you. I started training when I was eight. Doesn't make us all that different, does it?" 

He doesn't answer, and I'm pretty sure I just won this one. 

"I'm going to go check on Dean." He mutters, and walks away.

Yep. Definitely won this one.