I'm 230 days clean
But I've had urges to cut these past two days

I don't want to let people down
But I want to feel the pain

I don't want to break my streak
But I want to break my skin

I don't want to have to tell people I relapsed
But I want to make a scar

I don't want to face the guilt
But I want to see me bleed

I don't want to lie and say I didn't
But I want to do this so, so much