I wanna cut again.

Not because I'm feeling bad. I just want to cut because I like how it feels. 

I like the pain it causes me because it's pain that I can control. All the other pain I've been feeling during the past, like, 2 months has been caused by other people doing stuff to hurt me. It's nice to be able to control something about how I feel. 

...

God, re-reading that only confirms just how fucked up I am. 

I should really learn to deal with my emotions better, but does that mean I will?

Probably not.