Oh my god. 

It's 2019. 

That means 2018 is dead and gone. 

Thank goodness. 

Last night, well, this morning technically, I was sitting in bed thinking about everything that happened to me in 2018, and I couldn't even make it past February because the memories hurt my brain. 

But just thinking about it, I'm such a different person now than I was this time last year. Last year I was so hopeful and full of energy, and now I'm lucky if I can make it through the day without wanting to fall apart.

Like, this time last year, my depression hadn't taken a turn for the worst, I hadn't started cutting, school was going good, and I was in a healthy relationship.

Now, my depression is a bitch and makes my life miserable, I haven't cut it, like, almost 84 hours, I'm struggling to get my homework done, and I've been single for a month and a half.

Damn, I'm such a different person. 

I really want to make a video of me talking about anything major that happened to me in 2018. The one thing that's stopping me is the fact that I'll need my parents to be gone for, like, hours, because I know it's gonna take me forever to talk about everything. 

Also, I'd probably end up crying at least once because a lot of the major events were really sad.

'K, so since it's the new year, I've thought of a few resolutions.

The first I thought of was to try and stop cutting, and, if stopping is impossible, my goal is to reduce how often I cut. So, like, instead of every day or every other day, I'd cut, like, once a week or every other week if I just couldn't handle it. 

My second resolution is to write in a journal I have every day. My goal for this is to write down anything big that happened during the day, whether it's a funny conversation at lunch, something that happened during a class, or literally anything else that I want to remember years down the line. I'm also hoping that this allows me to write down and release emotions that I've been bottling up.

So... yeah... Those are my resolutions. 

Also, if any of y'all reading this happen to be fans of My Chemical Romance... It's 2019!!!!!!!! Danger Days is set to take place in 2019!!! It's the year of the killjoys!!!