The first memory Tommy ever had was of his family.

     They were sitting on the grass outside under a large oak tree. The leaves ruffled with the wind and the breeze was calm. Music filled the clearing.

     Tommy was leaned against his father, Techno was sitting nearby. Wilbur though, he sat with his back against the tree in front of the family and strummed the guitar.

     To Tommy, the music was sticky and sweet like honey that he couldn't get the taste off his tongue. He relished in the sound of the guitar, each string matched perfectly with his older brother's voice.

     The little kid thought Wilbur looked like a prince.

     His smile was wide as he sang, his eyes were closed as if the inner of his eyelids had the lyrics. His yellow sweater was comfortably engulfing him and his sneakers were worn. His crown was the beanie on his head.

     "Yay Wilby!" Tommy clapped as his brother finished. The others joined in as Wilbur's face got red.

     "Thanks, Toms." He lifted his arm a bit to rub the back of his neck. Tommy could see the white of bandages.

     Nobody else saw them.

---

     No.

---

     Techno sat the four year old down and explained what he had to do.

     "No matter what, don't leave Wilbur this afternoon. I need to get some sleep and can't watch him." Tommy could see that his older brother's eyes were dark and sad.

     "Why?" He tilted his head with confusion written on his face. Techno just sighed and ruffled his hair.

     "Wil doesn't feel good and needs some cheering up, can you do that for me?" Tommy's face lit up as he eagerly nodded his head. "Good, please don't tell dad or mom or he will kill me."

     "Okay!" Techno smiled as Tommy ran off to go find his older brother. "Knocky knock!" His voice sang as he pounded on Wilbur's door.

     "Come in." He pushed the door open and came over to Wilbur's side. It looks like he just woke up. "What are you doing in here Toms?" He asked as his younger brother closed the door and went over to the bed.

     "Nap time!" Tommy giggled as he tried to climb up onto the bed. Wilbur sighed but the grin on his face said otherwise when he reached over the bed to hook his arms around Tommy's legs to pull him up.

     "You usually don't get naps until later-"

     "I'm sweepy!" Tommy said as his brother laughed.

     "Alright, come here, Toms." The blond got under the blankets and snuggled into his older brother's chest. The fourteen year old pet his hair and hummed softly.

     "Sing!"

     "What would you like me to sing?"

     "Sunnyshine!" The brunet pressed a kiss to his brother's forehead.

---

     "You are my Sunshine,"

     Tommy couldn't hear anything besides his brother's voice as it sang.

---

     "Tubbo!" Tommy yelled as he crashed into his bestfriend. He hugged him and relished the smell of nature that was wafter off.

     "Toms!" Tubbo hugged him back with a giggle.

     "Be careful around the house!" Wilbur warned from the kitchen. The blond just rolled his eyes.

     "Alright, dad." He mocked as he stuck his tongue out.

     Tommy and Tubbo played for the afternoon, saying 'hi' to Techno and Phil as they walked by.

     "Lunch is ready!" Wilbur announced as the boys quickly got up. They sat at the table as their plates were served. It seemed to just be the three of them.

     "Where's dad and Tech?" Tommy asked as he inhaled the macaroni.

     "They went out for a special guy's day. Why?"

     "They make better food and take better care of us."

     Tommy didn't notice the flinch and upset look that replaced Wilbur's smile.

---

     "My only Sunshine."

     His heart dropped as he listened to the words his prince said.

---

     Tommy saw how much his older brother loved Fundy.

     The way he would sing and talk about how proud he was. It made Tommy happy since he knew that Phil didn't treat Wilbur as an equal son compared to Techno and him. It made Tommy smile as he watched his brother play.

     What didn't make him happy was when that smile would drop.

     Tommy could see the exhaustion on Wilbur's face after Fundy would go and play outside. The look of needing something to cope with was evident.

     "Are you alright, Wilby?" Tommy asked as his brother looked up with a carefully placed smile.

     "Of course, just tired is all." He stretched to prove his point. He didn't need to, Tommy could see it with the dark circles under the eyes of a broken man.

     "Why are you tired?" Tommy asked as his brother looked to the door.

     "Don't tell anyone but I saved up and I got Fundy a binder." His smile got wider as he shared the news. He was proud.

     "Really?" Tommy asked as his brother nodded his head and got up. He opened a cabinet and got it out. "Wil, this looks really well quality."

     "Of course, everything for my little champion." Tommy looked up from the garment to see Wilbur looking at a picture. "I wouldn't want him to get hurt by binding so I had to go out and find the best one. I have spent lots of nights mining to get diamonds and doing research. I'm trying to see if I can get him a nicely made trans pride flag as well but it might take time."

     "Wow..." Tommy was impressed. As he looked at his brother, all he could see was a king instead of a prince.

---

     "You make me happy."

     Wilbur looked so tired and upset.

---

     Tommy gasped as he woke up from another nightmare.

     His chest heaved with each breath as he tried to rid himself of the memories of Eret.

     "Hey, take deep breaths." Oh, Wilbur was there.

     "I wouldn't be alive it I wasn't breathing, idiot," Tommy hissed as his brother pulled him in for a hug.

     "I know, Toms. Just continue breathing, it will be alright." The blond didn't even notice when his older brother took him onto his lap and started to rock or the tears that were gently wiped away.

     "E-Eret..."

     "I know, it shouldn't have happened. I should have seen it coming and taken you guys out quicker than I did." Tommy didn't hear the guilt or regret in Wilbur's voice. He just focused on the steadiness of his voice. An anchor.

     "Thanks..." Tommy muttered as his eyes felt heavier.

     "Get some sleep, I will be back." Tommy could lightly hear more crying. He didn't care at the moment.

     When he woke up, Wilbur was in a chair on the other side of the room with a book in his hands.

---

     "When skies are gray."

     The prince, who was happy at one point was screaming.

---

     "Wilbur," Tommy shook his brother. He had just woken up and walked into the living room of the small caravan. The brunet was passed out on the couch and reeked of a foul smell.

     "What the fuck do you want, Tommy?" His eyes fluttered open and was replaced by a sleepy glare.

     "Are you fucking drunk right now?" His brother was quiet.

     "What if I was, Tommy? I'm a young adult taking care of three kids during times of war who gets no fucking sleep, this is probably the safest way for me to cope." Tommy stayed silent as he thought. His brother couldn't be talking about...

     "Have you ever thought of other ways to cope, Wilbur?"

     "Why not? I'm not fucking loved so who should care how I cope. Go to sleep you prick."

     "Wilbur, its morning, what it Fundy sees you like this?"

     "Good, then he can start thinking about I feel about everything for once."

     Tommy had no idea what to do. He was only a kid yet he had to help his brother out of his slump while also making sure his nephew doesn't see. He went back to the rooms and walked inside of Tubbo's room.

     "Tubbo, Wilbur is drunk." His bestfriend slowly sat up.

     "What are you on about? He can't be drunk."

     "Well, he is. I just don't want Fundy to see since he is so angry and unlike himself."

     "Okay then, lets figure out a way to get Fundy out of the house."

     Tommy couldn't help but be disappointed in his own brother as he ushered the hybrid out later.

---

     "You'll never know Dear, how much I love you."

     About how he wanted to leave permanently.

---

     "W-Wilby?"

     "I'm here Toms, we are going to get you somewhere safe and warm, just keep your eyes open, I promise." Tommy was being bounced as Wilbur ran to the caravan. His body ached and he felt as if something was wet.

     "Am I bleeding?"

     "Yeah, it will be alright though. Nothing more than a scratch." He could see Fundy open the door as they got inside. "Tubbo, go get the first aid kit, Fundy can you go get some towels and clean clothes?" They both left as Tommy's eyes drifted to his brother. His expression was serious as he started to tear the clothing away. Tommy remembered he just lost the duel.

     "I'm sorry, Wilbur. I lost and now we are probably in more trouble than before." Tommy felt guilt since his plder brother had done so much to keep them all alive and he screwed it up. The brunet just had a soft smile on his face as he brought one of his hands to Tommy's cheek.

     "I'm proud of you, Tommy. You have done better than I could have asked in this war. No matter what happens, I always will love you and care for you."

     The rest of the night was filled with Tommy's aching groans and screaming as Wilbur patched him up with calming words every step.

---

     "Please don't take, my Sunshine away."

     Instead of focusing on the words, the blond put all his energy into anger about his home being destroyed.

---

     Tommy would lay in bed and watch his brother as he would write and read. The only good thing about the constant worry Wilbur had over his younger brother was that he temporarily stopped drinking.

     "I wish dad was here..." Tommy muttered as he burrowed into the blankets more. Wilbur looked up from his papers.

     "I know, I wish he were here too." They were silent as the clock ticked on the wall and indicated time was still moving.

     "Wilby, what was mum like?" Tommy never got to experience much time with her since she left almost immediately for more business. She came back occasionally but that was when he was younger.

     "She... she loves you a lot, Toms. She was excited to bring you into the world. Her and dad set up your room together. They even let Techno and I paint the walls." Wilbur pushed his glasses up with a small sigh. "She really missed you the first time she was gone. Always called to hear you babbling. You should have heard mum the first time you talked to her."

     Tommy could see the slight pain on his brother's face at the memory.

     "She was so happy to hear you call her 'mum.' She cried and wished she could come home early to give you hugs. Toms, she really loves you."

     They were silent as Tommy tried to process the memories.

     "I don't remember much from when I was little." Wilbur chuckled at that.

     "I don't remember much from when you were little either. Life seemed to pass by fast and I didn't get to know you until you were three or four."

     "Well, how did you get to know me?"

     "I played my guitar. Dad and Tech left us alone for the day and you were tired. I didn't know how to get you to sleep so I just sang a lullaby. You absolutely loved it. I remember you calmed down immediately and watched with your wide, blue eyes. You were so curious how I made music. I remember you got tired enough to go to sleep and made grabby hands to me. I picked you up and you fell asleep almost immediately. I laid down on my bed with you curled up, you hands were gripping onto my sweater. After that, you always came to my room for nap time. Always wanting me to sing the same song to lull you to sleep."

     "I remember that."

---

     "The other night Dear, while I was sleeping."

     "He wouldn't be dead if he didn't blow up our home."

---

     Tommy was pulled into a hug as his heart raced.

     "Shh shh, it's going to be okay, Toms." Wilbur pet his hair as he held him close. They were in a dark ravine after being exiled from their nation. Tommy brought his hands to grip Wilbur's brown trench coat in his dirty hands.

     "I wish dad were here..." That's when something snapped.

     "I'm not Phil!" The blond was pushed away and felt his back hit the wall behind him. He looked up with fear at his older brother. "I can't be Phil, I can't be dad! I'm too young to be in this fucking mess! I'm trying SO hard to be Phil and I can't Thomas! I never was and will never be Phil!" The hot and angry tears ran down the brunet's face as his shoulder shuddered.

     "W-Wil-"

     "I'm trying SO hard and all I get are ungrateful BRATS! I'm practically raising three boys of my own and I'm not succeeding! My own SON is against me! I'm not a father so stop expecting me to be!" His voice echoed as it bounced from wall to wall. Tommy's hands were up and in front of him.

     "I'm... I'm not trying to make you be Phil-"

     "Then why do you want him Thomas? Is it because I am unable to care for you? Is it because I'm going mental? My alcoholism? What is it Thomas!"

     "He knows how to fix this-" laughter erupted from Wilbur's chest and silenced Tommy.

     "I don't know how to fix this? Thomas, are you calling me stupid?" Tommy's eyes widened as his older brother brought out a blade. "You better run before you regret it."

---

     "I dreamed I held you in my arms."

     "Tommy, he's your brother-"

---

     Tommy buried his head into Techno's cloak as soon as he arrived. His older brother held him tight as the relief melted.

     "Fucking Techno is here now? You really want somebody else to abandon us, Tommy?" Wilbur walked over with his hands in his pockets as he seemed to size the knew member of the ravine up.

     "He could help-"

     "So you think I'm not capable now?" Tommy shifted at the accusing words, Techno's grip on his getting tighter.

     "Tommy wanted some more support. He knows you are very capable, Wilbur. He also just wanted to see me, its been awhile and things have changed." Tommy could hear the words he was implying 'its been awhile and you have changed.'

     "Is this true?"

     "Yes, I just wanted to catch up with him." The blond brought a hand up to his chin where a cut lay that was from a previous argument with his brother.

     "Alright but if he breaks your heart, its on you."

---

     "When I awoken, I was mistaken."

     "It's all on Wilbur."

---

    
     Tommy was excited.

     The smile on his face grew as the group chanted, "humina, humina, humina," after he suggested it. His cheeks hurt by the time he stood on the stage.

     "I'm sorry, Wilbur but I can't take the position of President." The crowd gasped before it went silent. "I still have unfinished business to do."

     Wilbur got back up and then asked Tubbo to join him. Tommy watched as his best friend stood proud as the newest President of the historic nation. The blond was the loudest out of the crowd, whistling and cheering as Tubbo accepted the invitation.

     "Good job, Tubbo. I'm so proud of you." His smile was warm as he gave his friend a side hug once he got down.

     "Thank you Tommy. I know you have unfinished business but would you join me as my second?" Tommy's smile grew.

     Although he has always been a second to everybody, at least this time it would stay and Tubbo was actually sane.

     "Of course, Mr. President."

     The group took down the execution decorations and chatted to each other. They all celebrated and it turned into chaos quickly.

     "Tubbo, stay awake, man." Tommy watched as his eldest brother started to swing his sword without a thought. Then the explosions occured.

     Tommy's hearing was impaired, a buzzing and ring of noise entrapped his ear. He was overtop of Tubbo, he didn't notice but he took most of the damage for his friend. His back burnt and the smell of flesh was in the air.

     With a grunt of pain, Tommy turned around to access the damage.

     Wilbur.

     "And I held my head and I cried."

     The sword was impaled into his stomach as he fell into Phil's awaiting arms. His father was there.

     "Theseus."

     "Then DIE LIKE ONE!"

     "Government is corrupt."

     "Wilbur was corrupt."

     "You are corrupted."

     Tommy watched as he lost his Prince to a sword and his Knight to chaos and yelling about myths.

     They were gone and the blue in his eyes got a tad bit lighter.

    
W

ords: 2909
Written: Tuesday, December 15th, 2020 12:27 pm
Edited: