Diane
I'm sitting in front hunters office. I actually low-key wanna talk but I'm too afraid. I have many emotions. Morsea, school, Danny, ugh just too many. When I look up she's looking at me so intently, she's reading me. Oh god I feel the judgement. I feel an anxiety attack coming.

I try to calm my breathing I close my eyes trying to calm myself. When I open them she's now sitting next to me, and out the blue she hugs me, with such warmth it's the best hug I have ever had and its from somebody I'm not even related too. And can't help but hold on and cry.

Crying for broken I feel, crying for knowing I'm not good for the boy Im inlove with. Crying for all I have missed in my life. Crying because I wouldn't be so broken had it not all started when I was 4 maybe 5by my cousin Machete, (Ma-shay), don't ask me why they named him that dumbass name.

He felt like I needed "assistance" in the bathroom. Like Tf, nigga you were 16 dawg. And way he touched me. I told my granny, he said "I was just helping her, sorry she took it the wrong way" that day I never say him the same and kept my distance. Now if seems I'm going thru the same shit 10 almost 11 years later. What is the point of my life? And people wonder why u wanna end it.
I was cut out my thoughts by Dr. Hunter.......

"I'm listening"
"I'm tired" (said slightly above a whisper)
"why?"
"cuz, I'm not worth the wasted space and air"

She got up and walked around to her desk, went in the drawer and came back with a tablet of some sort.

"I want you to start writing everything you feel. And I'm want to switch you to a different group for your group session."
"OK" (I sniffled)
"you may not realize this, but today was another major break thru"

I was kinda proud of myself. I didn't talk like I wanted to, but I must have done something right for Dr. hunter to feel that way. I left this time feeling alot better. A clearer mind to think. Wonder how long this will last. I walked over to the car and got in, scoop just looked at me....

"what nigga? "
"You straight"
"yea"

We rode in a very groovy silence. Then we pulled up to Morsea house. The whole crew was there. We chilled and act silly and I did my homework and they copied -_-, then say drop me off at home. Thank god tomorrow is the last day till after the summer. This year has been too much.

Morsea
So after dropping Dee off I went to lil honey house a few blocks away. Everything was cool I guess, till she started kissing on me, I wasn't feeling it. Now this is all new to a nigga, I've never felt this way......... I let her continue but when she was giving me head my boy was giving no cooperation.

She kept trying till I just got fed up and told shorty I had to go. Heading home I pass by Dee house the lights were off so I kept going. Once I got home I hopped on the shower and then jumped in bed. Wasn't really sleepy, couldn't get Dee off my mind. I mean I always think about her but this on a whole new level. Ughhhhhhh I knew she was sleep, but I had to text her anyway

Future😍😘💍🔐- I love you good night.

I was dozing off till my phone ding letting me know I had a message. I opened it and it read...

I love you too.................
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Hello my beautiful butterflies. Short ik but class about to start I wanted to y'all some before I walked in. Love you all.

Whatcha thinking?

Y'all know the drill. Enjoy, vote, comment, and share.

Be good. Love you all. More after classes