Guys I cried while writing this. Chapter dedicated to @mehfsbcf. Thanks for reading all you lovely people😜

Alan's POV
I stared at the black clothes I had dressed myself in. Today was the funeral and to say I wasn't ready was an understatement. I never wanted to do this. I didn't want to attend my mothers funeral, I knew that would eventually happen but I also had to attend my seven year old brothers funeral. I was a mess to say the least.

I hadn't cried for a couple of days. I was just kind of...numb. I didn't want to think about it but every morning I got up, untangled myself from Austin's arms, and the first thing I thought was I've got to fix breakfast for the twins. It hurt. Everything reminded me of either my mom or Mason. I spent a lot of time just in my room.

Austin hadn't left the house. He did go to his classes, but he tried to do most online, and he also was taking care of the house. He wasn't just taking care of it though he was taking care of Cole, in the departments I was unable to at the moment, and he was also taking care of me and he was doing that right now.

He hugged me from behind as I stared into the mirror. He had just came back from helping Cole get dressed and now he was here to help me if I needed it.
"Princess are you ready?" He asked and I nodded my head hesitantly.
"As ready as I can be." I said and turned in his arms. I buried my face in his chest and he rocked us sideways a few moments before pulling back and saying we needed to go.

Cole was waiting in the living room and when I saw him I scooped him up in my arms.
"Hey Ally." He said and kissed my cheek. I squeezed my arms around him and kissed his forehead.
"Hey Cole."
We got in the car and I made sure everyone was buckled at least twice before I let Austin pull out, even with the buckles it didn't stop Mason from....

I had to stop. I couldn't just think of the bad moments, Austin had told me this repeatedly, I had to think of all the great moments I had with them. The car was silent as we drove to the funeral home.
We were the first ones there and when I got out I was met by the guy in charge of the funeral, forgive me because i don't really know and at the moment that was the least of my worries.

"Mr. Ashby good to see you." I just nodded and he pulled me to the side.
"We need to know if you want the services to be open casket or not?"
I thought did I really want to see the lifeless bodies of my mother and brother? Would it give me closure?
"I-I..." I honestly hadn't been prepared for this question. " I don't want everyone to see them." The guy nodded.
"What about you?" With a last minute decision I nodded my head at the guy.
"And your younger brother? It may scare him but some want to. However it's your choice in the end."

I looked to Cole and walked over to him.
"Hey buddy. Ummm do you want to see Momma or Mason?" I asked and he looked at me confused before shaking his head.
"I-I don't think so Ally." I nodded and kissed his forehead.
"I'm going to okay? You have to stay out here." Cole nodded then I stood up and looked at Austin. "Will you go with me?" I asked and he smiled at me.
"Of course."

I laced my hand with his and the funeral guy let us to the room where the funeral would be held. "Wait Ally!" I heard and Cole ran up to me. "Can I go? Please. I have something to give Mase." I looked at him confused but didn't question it. He put his small hand in mine and with the other he held something behind his back. We opened the door and I looked into the room. Both of the caskets were side by side and beside of them were giant picture of both Momma and Mason. I wanted to cry at just the sight of that. I stood at the door not moving.
"Alan are you sure you want to do this?" Austin asked and kissed the top of my head. I nodded and took a deep breath before walking slowly towards them.

I went to Momma first, Cole right beside of me. She was in her favorite deep purple dress and her makeup was lightly done, giving her face a fake pink glow. Her mouth was in a slight smile and despite everything she looked kid of peaceful. My eyes teared up and I put a hand on the side of the casket.
"I love you Momma." I said and I stood there a moment as if waiting for a response, but I knew I wouldn't get one.
"Ally can I say something?" Cole asked and I smiled at him.
"Of course buddy."

He peaked over the edge and looked at her. "Momma I miss you but I know you're taking care of bubby so that's okay. I wouldn't want him to be alone. I miss you a lot and so does Ally. I hope you have fun in the clouds and I can't wait to see you again. I love you." He finished and blew her a kiss before grabbing my hand again.

Next was Mason. This one was going to be hard. Cole squeezed my hand and I took the few steps I needed to be right in front of it. Tears streamed down my face immediately. He was in his favorite light blue button up shirt and some black pants. His face was also lightly dusted with pink but you could see the prominent scar on his forehead from the crash. I crouched down and took his small hand in mine. I kissed it lightly and mumbled 'I'm sorry and I love you.' Over and over.

Austin came behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I stood up and buried myself in his arms. Then I witnessed the most heartbreaking thing I think I would ever have to. Cole walked slowly up to the edge and peaked over much like he did to Momma. I watched as he started to tear up.

"Hey Mase." He said then sniffled. "I miss you a lot bubby. I don't have a constant person to play with and I don't have anyone to protect. I miss it. I miss always making sure you were safe. It was my job as the older brother." This made me want to laugh because Cole was only about two minutes older than Mason. "But I know Momma is making sure your okay and I know your watching her too. I love you so much bubby and I always will. One day we can play again and we will all be together and Momma won't be sick, and Ally will smile because he has all of us again." He was talking as if Austin and I weren't there and I couldn't help but to cry myself.

"He'll even have Austin!" He said excitedly. "But he'll smile a lot when we're all together again. He hasn't much lately. Anyway I wanted to say I love and I brought you something." He held up the old stuffed animal that Mason slept with every night because he had a slight fear of the dark. "I borrowed him the last couple of days, I hope you don't mind, but I thought you would need him." He placed the stuffed animal under Mason's arm gently. "I know how you don't like sleeping without him and I bet it's dark in this thing you're in. I hope he makes you happy, maybe you'll even have him with you up there with Momma. Anyways, I love you Mason and I'll never forget you. Your the best brother anyone could have. Bye-bye." He finished and turned towards me with tears streaming down his face. I immediately wrapped him in my arms and picked him up.
"I miss them so much Alan." He cried into my shoulder and I cried along with him.
"I miss them too." I said to him and Austin led us out of the room and back to where we were before. Austin kissed mine and Cole's cheeks and we sat on a nearby sofa.

The rest of the funeral was a daze. I spoke to people and they gave me their condolences. I just held Cole close and Austin held me. Neither one of us spoke during the funeral, I don't think we would have been able to. Once the services were over we joined the slow procession to the place where they would be buried.

We watched as a few words were said and then watched as they buried them. Cole and I placed flowers on both graves and we stood there just looking at them for a while.
"Ally can we come visit them?" Cole asked as he clutched my pants.
"Of course buddy." I said. We stood there a few minutes and then Cole said he was ready to go. We both whispered 'I love you' to them and then walked to where Austin was waiting, ready to take us home.