Kento is who I see first in the parking lot, sitting on the trunk of his car playing on his phone. My skates weigh heavily in my bag, but I readjust it on my shoulder as I wave in his direction. I should have parked closer. Kento flashes me a lazy peace sign and it looks to be just the two of us that I recognize so far loitering outside.

"What's up, Wallace?" he shoots and eyes the bag on my shoulder. "Damn, did you bring your own skates?"

"Absolutely. I spent a pretty penny on these." I tug one of the skates a little out of the bag to show him. The pair I own are a soft pastel pink with yellow laces that I snatched up during the hyped resurgence of roller skating a few years back. Harper and I enjoyed roller rink nights as teens, so it made sense to capitalize on the sales.

"Sick," he laughs. "I don't think I've ever gone roller skating."

"It's just like skateboarding...but with one on each foot," I joke. "Maybe?"

"We'll find out."

Last week we all got invitations on Facebook for Zelda's twenty-ninth birthday extravaganza AKA sending a bunch of late twenties and early thirty-year-olds to a roller rink to break their bones for fun. But with the promise of booze, food, and no children (Zelda shelled out to rent the rink out for the night) no one had any reason to say no. There's a lot of people on the invite list that I don't know who Zelda probably works with or know her in other forms, but the crew that I know all responded yes which made me a bit more confident to attend.

"Can I ask you something? Just so I don't fuck up and say the wrong thing," I blurt out as we hang outside in the dark for Zelda to arrive.

Kento quirks an eyebrow at me.

"You and Will are dating...right?"

He runs a hand through his messy black mullet with a bit of a stilted laugh. "Yes? Who the fuck knows honestly."

"Sorry, I'm not trying to be nosy."

Kento waves me off while he tosses his phone from one hand to the other. "Nah, you're good. It's not a wrong assumption. Will and I just...haven't put a label on it yet. Trying to tie Will down literally is a chore, so figuratively is just as difficult."

"I mean if it helps it looks like he's over the moon when you're around. It's obvious he likes you."

"What, our tongues down each other's throats aren't obvious enough?" he jokes.

I snort. "That doesn't mean you like each other."

"True." He shrugs. "It's nothing crazy. We know how we feel about each other. Will's just never dated another guy before so I think the idea of putting a name to it makes him panic. We're together and exclusive, I just think he needs time before he can say he has a boyfriend, you know? We've been beating around the bush for so many years that I think it being real now scares him."

Gideon's little lecture on communication floats to the front of my mind for a moment.

"That makes sense, I think?" I tilt my head to the side.

Kento picks at a scab on one of his fingers absentmindedly.

"If it were anyone other than Will, I'd probably be annoyed. But what we have now is good. I just think we really need to sit down and talk about what this—" he gestures as if Will is standing in front of him, "—actually is. But we have only been together like this since August, so I'm not in a rush."

I hum. "Thanks for telling me. I didn't want to call him your boyfriend or something in front of him and then make things awkward if that wasn't the case."

Kento shrugs. "The world of interpersonal relationships is fucked, Wallace. Labels exist to make people feel good. Just have fun."

Most of the gang shows up not long after the conversation between Kento and I devolved into what our latest Netflix obsession is. For the record, we both happen to be watching Unsolved Mysteries.

Zelda sweeps through the parking lot dolled up to the nines in her best roller-skating gear and gives everyone a big hug before ushering us all into the roller rink. Harper, who skips over from Reese's side, loops her arm through mine as we head in.

"Guess what?" she whispers to me as we follow the crowd.

"Hm?"

"I might ask Reese to be official after tonight."

She's got such a powerful smile on her face and her blue eyes sparkle in such a way that I'm tempted to take a photo to immortalize the expression. I've never seen her glow like this.

"Harp!" I whisper-shout back to her. "That's so exciting!"

"I don't want to get too excited, but our Valentine's Day date went super well. I just don't want to wait for him to ask me."

"Please," I scoff. "He's not going to say no to you. It's clear he's head over heels. Man suffered through a puzzle for you."

She gives me a wide toothy grin.

The roller rink is a time capsule from the eighties. It's been owned by the same couple since its inception, and I have been here a few times in the past but never considered renting the place out for a private party. The carpet is cosmic and speckled with colorful stars, triangles, and squiggles. Neon lights decorate the walls in zips of pink, green, and blue while a disco ball hangs in the center of the rink to bounce light around once everything dims. Even the old retro food and drink signs still hang in the checkboard café area.

Zelda's attention is diverted to the myriad of guests arriving with John helping her out in handing out food and drink tickets. The rest of us dump our things on one of the tables that's situated alongside the roller rink walls.

"Do you think we have to size up?" Will asks as he tugs his sneakers off his feet.

"Probably?" I tell him. "I would."

"Do you think I could break my leg doing this?" Kento asks.

"Bro, you skateboard as a hobby and you're nervous about roller skating?" Reese laughs.

"They aren't the same thing."

"Let's go buckos!" Will cuts them off and takes the lead over to the rental counter with Reese giving an annoyed Kento a cheery grin.

"Are you going to do anything special when you ask him?" I ask Harper once Reese and his two ducklings are out of earshot.

She looks up from tying her lavender skates. Like me, Harper brought her own.

"I don't think I'm going to make it a big deal. We have plans to go to the Art Institute and get dinner next week, so if things carry on this way, I might just bring it up in front of some beautiful Roman statue replica or something." She smiles wistfully at the thought.

"Well, I'm crossing my fingers for you," I tell her. "I know how much you like him."

"Thanks, Wal," She smiles.

I decide I should probably put my skates on as well when I see the boys dart onto the rink (well, Reese and Will dart while Kento inches his way on nervously). I use the plastic chair next to me as balance while I slip off my sneakers.

Someone grasps my shoulders, thumbs pressing into the base of my neck, as they stand behind me. I jump in surprise and twist to see that it's Gideon in a black hoodie and light washed jeans.

"Oh, you're here!" I gasp.

Gideon offers me a soft smile and lets his hands fall from me and I find myself missing the pressure.

Touched-starved, am I right?

"Where do I rent the skates?" he asks while he watches Will flail around on the rink. We point him in the right direction and when he saunters off Harper slides up next to me with raised brows.

"You two seem cozy," she giggles.

I roll my eyes before plopping down in the very eighties plastic chair to put my skates on.

"We're friends."

"Not for long. You'll be dating before you know it. Friends don't make other friends nearly cum in their pants," she says in a low voice.

"Harper!" I swat at her. "That's not true. I like being his friend. I don't want to date him. Besides, it's because we're friends you and Zel convinced me to do this in the first place. Don't act all surprised."

I don't know how else to say that I really like being with Gideon and making out with him, and am really enjoying being his friend, but I don't foresee roses and dinner in our future. Maybe another marathon of X-Files and burgers.

"O-kay!" she sings before skating off to join Reese on the rink.

She's acting like the whole point of this with Gideon is to get me a boyfriend when the real reason is just to get me the action I'm desperately desiring. I don't know how else to explain what's going on in my brain to her. But I need to find the words eventually because if we talk about dating one more time, I think I might blow a gasket.

Gideon returns when I'm lacing up and looks less than pleased by the state of his skates.

"I feel like I need a shower just looking at these," he says as he joins me in lacing up.

"That's why I have my own." I slide my feet back and forth against the carpet. "Have you skated before?"

"A long time ago. Maybe in middle school?"

"Well, it's a good thing that we've got the rink to ourselves. Trying to dodge little kids while skating has nearly always led to me eating shit."

I stand and do a few practice spins on the cosmic patterned carpet. I'm not the best skater by any means, but I can glide easily without falling and skate backwards when the rink is nearly deserted. If I have a beer or two though I might be a little unsteady.

"Don't laugh at me when I fall," Gideon warns.

"No promises."

The DJ blasts some eighties jams over the speakers and we all take to the rink in varying states of confidence. Unsurprisingly, Zelda is quite skilled on the rink, skating circles around people as she does her laps. John admires her from his perch alongside the wall and she skates up every so often to kiss him with a giggle. Reese is in rollerblades and has Harper's hand tight in his own while she rediscovers her confidence.

"This is not like skateboarding," Kento says to me when I pass by him gripping the edge of the rink pushing himself along.

I slow to his side and offer my hand.

"You just need to find your rhythm."

"Nope, I'm not moving from this wall."

Will speeds up behind me before trying to stop, failing and falling to the floor, then pulling himself back up to crash into me. I'm barely able to keep us steady.

"Slow down," I laugh.

"Can't," Will says. "I need to be cooler than former hockey star Reese over there."

"Who are you trying to impress?" Kento cocks a black brow as he pulls himself along, awkwardly hunched.

"There's this punk Japanese dude, have you met him?" Will winks, squeezes my supper arm, and skates off at high speed with a cackle.

Those two are cute. But I've got to hand it to Kento for having the capacity to handle the energy that Will exudes on a daily basis. I can see him fall again thanks to his excessive speed, taking out two other people I don't recognize. He's definitely going to be covered in bruises later.

I'm skating backwards now, slow, and making idle conversation with Kento until he starts to become confident enough to let go of the wall and skate on his own. He's in the middle of telling me about the time he, Will, and John all went on a graduation trip to Miami and got arrested for getting too drunk and skinny dipping in the ocean together when Gideon reaches us on the rink, arms out for balance.

"You talking about Miami?"

Kento chuckles. "Sure am."

"Real pissed I missed out on that bonding experience."

"Is it a universal thing for men to want to get naked with their friends?" I taunt as we round a corner.

"I think so," Kento plays along.

"I was talking about the getting arrested thing, but you know, I do think I'm sad I missed out on that too," Gideon says.

"Why didn't you go? You were all in the same grad class, right?" I ask.

"I started my internship at a funeral home almost immediately after I graduated. And Reese...why the fuck wasn't Reese there?"

Kento stumbles for a second before righting himself. "Uh, he'd messed up his leg real bad in hockey that season and didn't want to risk it."

"Sounds like he missed out," I joke.

"If you think we're a bunch of overgrown children now, Wal, you should've seen us in college. Uncontrollable," Gideon laughs.

"Especially Gideon. Man was the poster child for deviancy when we met."

Gideon snorts. "Like you weren't either."

"Not like you."

Before I can ask for either of them to elaborate, Will speeds by once again yelling, "Come on Okawa! You call yourself a skater?"

"I'm going to kick his ass," Kento says before he charges after him with more coordination than he had before, and I can't do anything but laugh.

I'm left with Gideon and he's not a terrible skater. We're able to keep a decent pace while carrying on a conversation. I tell him that I've got one younger sister, Julia, and we're nearly a decade apart. He tells me how he started smoking at fifteen and hasn't been able to kick the habit despite knowing how bad it is for him. When I'm explaining how Harper and I had tried and failed living together in our early twenties, Gideon slips and starts to plummet towards the ground. I reach out in hopes to steady him, but he merely takes me down with him and we're an uncomfortable tangled mess of limbs and heavy skates.

Laughter bubbles out of me to cover the aching feeling.

"Are you okay?" I get out between laughs.

"Ugh," he groans, rolling onto his back. "I can see why people avoid falling."

I manage to get to my feet without falling again and reach my hands out to Gideon who looks at me through hooded eyes for a moment before sighing and outstretching his arms to take my grip. I yank him, nearly unsuccessfully thanks to his height, to his feet and we steady each other on the slippery rink.

It's an inappropriate moment to think this, but I notice how long his fingers are as they tangle with mine. How, well, manly they are. A stupid thing. It's probably because I can't even remember the last time I held hands with a man. And I don't know why I'm thinking about it now considering it isn't the first time I've seen his hands. Or touched his hands. But something in this moment really makes my brain spiral.

"Like my hands, do you?"

Of course he notices.

I don't let him go – I feel like I'll lose if I do – and instead tug him with me as I skate backwards like I'm helping a little kid. He doesn't need it, but he lets me pull him along anyway.

"I was just wondering if you played the piano," I lie.

He wriggles his fingers in my grip.

"No, but I've got the hands for it, right?"

He grins.

Things continue like this. Doing laps, falls, laughter, and a few of the guys have races down the middle when people clear the rink to get food and drinks. I'm one of those people and I hop off onto the carpet and make my way over to the drink counter to order myself and Gideon a beer.

As I wait, a guy skates up and makes a similar order of his own before looking at me while fiddling with his paper ticket. He's a little taller than I am, fluffy red hair, and a gray Henley tee. Cute.

"How do you know Zelda?" he asks.

"Mutual friend," I reply. "You?"

"I'm a copywriter at the same company."

"Nice."

"You're pretty good on the rink out there. I can't figure out how to skate backwards."

Oh god, he's been watching me. The idea makes me feel self-conscious.

I give him a polite smile. "Thanks. Harper and I practiced a lot a few summers ago. Takes practice. Easier to practice on the carpet."

I can see the cashier pouring my beers now and I'm internally pleading for her to speed up. I know where this is going. I can feel it. I don't know how but I do. There's just something about the way a person approaches you. The way they look at you that's just different. It's just very easy to figure out their intentions and I don't even know who this guy is and—

"Hey, I know this is out of the blue, but would you like to get a coffee sometime? I know we don't know each other, but who does until they do, right?"

There's nothing inherently off putting about what he's saying, but I can feel my fight or flight response kicking in and I have no idea what to say to him. I mean...this is what I've always wanted, right? For a man to show interest in me? To ask me out? But he's a stranger. I don't...

I laugh and it's a little too loud and awkward. "I don't even know your name."

He looks genuinely embarrassed. "Wow, how lame of me. I'm David. I'm sorry that's...I'm not used to approaching people. I just think you're really pretty and would love to get to know you."

My beers are slid across the counter and I take them in my hands, brain malfunctioning because I have no good reason to say no. He's cute, hasn't been rude, and is taking the initiative.

But every fiber inside of me is screaming to run right now.

I want to say no and I hate myself for it.

Thankfully, I don't have to.

"What's taking so long, Wal?"

Gideon comes to a somewhat controlled stop near me and takes one of the beers before looking down at David. He seems a little intimidated by Gideon. I don't blame him. Gideon's over six feet, has piercings, and sharp features. His hand grips my shoulder which he used to help stop himself but I'm not sure that's how it looks to David.

"Oh, nothing!" I say. "Was just chatting with Zel's coworker Dave. It was nice to meet you!"

I take Gideon's arm and drag him away to the table where we have all our stuff and sink into the chair with an almost painful sigh.

"What was that?" he asks as he sips on the amber liquid in his glass.

"I was being asked out," I tell him flatly, watching the strobe lights flicker all around us instead of looking him in the eyes. Reese is skating circles around Harper in the center and she's giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Oh?" He taps the tip of his skate against mine. "And?"

"I didn't really give him an answer since I sort of ran off before replying."

"Did you not think he was cute? Was he rude or something?" He frowns like he might have to go defend my dignity or something if I say yes.

Taking a swig of my beer, I grumble. How do I describe this feeling to someone. To describe that I've spent years complaining about being single but ruin it for myself each time?

"It isn't that," I reply. "I don't know. I panic when I get hit on by strangers like that. It's why I struggle so hard with dating apps. I don't even know those people."

"But if you want to meet people and you don't want to date anyone you already know..."

"I know, it's stupid. Harper yells at me for it all the time. And I know it's the reason I'm still a virgin and all that. I just – I don't know. I don't like it. It doesn't make sense. And I'd like to have someone, so it sucks that I panicked like that."

Gideon watches me with an almost knowing look on his face as he drinks his beer. There's not an ounce of judgement in it.

"I get it."

"You do?" I ask.

Every time I bring it up to Harper I get some sort of lecture. She means well and she's just trying to help me, but it's frustrating.

He shrugs. "Yeah. I don't think it's that hard to understand. Some people just hate being approached and would prefer to start off as friends. Maybe if you got to know that guy in a group setting without the expectations of dating, maybe it wouldn't be that hard."

"Maybe..." I reply. "Do most girls react well when you ask them out?"

At this he laughs, throwing his head back and placing a hand to his chest like he needs to steady himself.

"What?"

"I've never really had a girlfriend."

I don't mean for my jaw to drop, but it does. That's crazy! Zelda said he has girls left and right. Sure, he sleeps around a lot but that doesn't mean he's never had a girlfriend at any point. And he's attractive. And tall. And has a personality. Most things people want.

"Shut up. No way."

"I'm serious," he says as he drinks, his words bubbling the beer.

"Never?"

He teeters his head back and forth. "Not really. I mean, I've approached some of my friends for sex over the years. And a one-night stand here or there too. But I've never really asked a girl out formally. I "dated" a few girls in high school, but I was a dick, and they didn't last very long."

"Wow," I say in shock. "I find that so hard to believe."

He shrugs. "Never had the urge to."

"And no one bothers you at the holidays?" I laugh. "I can't tell you how many times I go home and have to hear complaints about how I'm not seeing anyone or if I'm a lesbian since I've never brought a guy home. Which, mind you, is rude because who cares if I was a lesbian. Wouldn't change the fact that I still didn't bring anyone home. It's not like they need to rub it in my face that I'm alone."

"I avoid my family like the plague, so no. I'm sure they would if I did."

That's right. I think back to Valentine's Day and what he said about his dad. How annoyed he seemed at him calling him.

"I also find it hard to believe you were a dick. From what I hear, girls sing praises about how nice you are."

He raises the corner of his mouth in a half smile. "Yeah, now. But back then I was more focused on me, so I tended to agree to date simply to have my needs met. I never once thought about them, and that wasn't fair. I was a pretty self-destructive kid. Once I grew up, I learned how to communicate with the women I was with so there was never any confusion or misunderstood expectations. Things like that."

It's so strange to think that he used to be like that, but I guess it makes sense considering he's the one who made sure we set rules and communicated properly. After having relationships like that in the past, it'd make sense.

We're joined by the rest of our group and our conversation dies off. Harper and Reese slide into the seats next to me while Will and Kento take the seats next to Gideon. John is off bringing out the desserts and Zelda is corralling people and thanking them for coming. Everyone seems flushed and tired but exuding the childish energy we all haven't felt in years.

"I saw that cute guy talking to you," Harper elbows me.

"Oh, David? Yeah, he was nice," I say.

"Just nice?"

"That's my current consensus."

Harper pouts as she ties up her thick blonde hair. Reese leans around her and hands me a paper plate that has a piece of chocolate cake on it. We don't sing happy birthday or anything and when I ask Harper why, she tells me that Zelda hates the tradition. Instead, we all munch of the desserts and chatter amongst ourselves. Gideon gets into a heated debate with Will about the validity of adult swim at public pools while John tries to teach Kento and myself how to fold a napkin into a penguin.

It's like we're at a middle school event night with the jittery energy and grins everyone has on their faces. Nothing like a weird super adult party where people are uncomfortable and there's too much alcohol flowing, and you know you'll black out at some point. It's – for a lack of a better word – safe. Fun and light and I know I won't go home feeling like I made an ass of myself.

Once we have about an hour left to skate, people start to break away from the tables and back onto the rink in droves, but Gideon and I stay seated at the table. My toes hurt form the stupid way I've taught myself to skate and instead I take to dragging my legs back and forth under the table.

We're in a comfortable silence and I find myself watching Gideon, admiring his face. He's got a strong jaw and a strong pair of eyebrows to match. I wonder how much that piercing hurt. Does he have any other ones?

My eyes linger on his fingers again, tapping away at the side of his empty beer glass. He's watching people do their last bit of skating before the party is set to end but I see him glance at me out of the corner of his eye.

"You're really into my hands today," he comments, but has the kindness to not look at me full on. If he did, he'd probably see the raging blush spreading across my face.

"Sorry."

"Don't be. It's not a big deal."

Just as I'm thinking about throwing myself into a literal chasm of shame, I feel one of his fingers poke my hand to bring my attention back to him.

"If you want, we can knock out the next thing on your list and you can fondle my hands as much as you want."

He gives me a toothy, unashamed grin that he mentioned the list in public and I hit his skates with my own before setting a glare squarely on him.

The next thing on my list isn't anything interesting. Pretty juvenile now that I think about it. It's merely one of those things I want to do that I know other people have done.

"What? The timing is perfect. No one will notice if we slip away, and I parked behind the building so no one is going to bother us."

I open and close my mouth, glancing around the room to see if anyone is even paying attention to us.

Zelda and John are not even skating, staring into each other's eyes lovingly as they whisper about something off to the side. Reese and Harper are holding hands and gliding around, deep in conversation like they're the only two in the room. Will is trying to learn how to skate backwards in the center of the rink while Kento watches, a little unsteady on his feet.

No one would notice. Not at least until everyone starts to say their goodbyes.

I turn back to Gideon, and he's got a friendly smile on his face that doesn't make me feel inclined to answer either way. No expectation hanging in the air.

"Okay."

Gideon returns his skates and I slip back into my shoes, pack up my things, and the next thing I know we're outside in the crisp winter air. I follow him to his car and slide into the backseat.

"You know, when I saw this on your list I got a little excited," Gideon admits as he tosses my bag of skates into the front passenger seat.

"Why?" My throat feels a little dry.

"I haven't made out in a car in a real long time."

He pats his leg and I hesitate, still nervous about the whole thing but the look on Gideon's face brings some confidence and reassurance to me. He didn't make me feel like a fool the last time we did this. He seemed to enjoy it and we hung out normally after.

I slide my hand into his outstretched one and let him pull me to where I straddle him. Our faces are close, and he settles his hands on my waist while I pray he can't feel my heart beating wildly in my chest.

"I'm nervous," I admit.

"That's okay. As long as it's a good nervous."

I snort. "There's a good nervous?"

"Sure," he says lightheartedly. "Like the nerves you get before you go on a rollercoaster that you're finally tall enough to ride. You know you want to do it. You waited hours in line for it. But the knots in your stomach are still there. Or when you're about to meet your favorite celebrity after twelve years or eat at a really good restaurant."

"I feel like those are hyper specific example," I giggle a little.

"You get my point though, right?"

"Yeah..."

"So, is it a good nervous?" He brushes his nose against mine, speaking low.

"I think so, yeah."

His fingers press into my sides, and he pulls me a little closer.

"Good."

His mouth meets mine and it's easy to fall into a rhythm with him this time now that I know what to expect. That I know what his tongue feels like against my own. I slide my hands up and around his shoulders loosely and try to match his enthusiasm. The sounds are the only thing that fill the car – the sounds of our lips smacking against each other, of our uneven breath, of the hum that escapes his throat when I sink my teeth into his lower lip.

Gideon's hands trail over my body more than they did the first time. They leave my waist and trace up my sides and then back down, caressing the tops of my thighs before moving around to rest on my ass, tugging me a bit forward and gripping.

"Is this okay?" he breathes out when we break for air.

"Uh huh," is all I can manage before he's capturing my lips again with more fervor.

I shiver and trace my hands up the back of his neck until they're tangled in his messy bun. His hair is softer than I expect, and he smells like a mixture of cedarwood, cigarettes, and mint. He tugs me again and I use that to seat myself as close as I can on his lap, our chests flush against each other and his dick pressing into me through our jeans. He hears me gasp at the sensation and I feel him grin just a bit before he slides his tongue into my mouth.

He drags his hands over me a few more times and goosebumps scatter across my arms. I'm just picturing his long fingers dancing over me and it's enough to elicit a whine from my throat.

I'm squirming like last time. I know I am, and it feels better than I remember, but it's probably because I'd been worked up before we even got into the car. Something about grinding on him like this feels easy. Feels right. Like I'm supposed to be here. And Gideon appears to feel the same way because he's moving his hips right along with me. We've stopped kissing at this point and I'm panting against his mouth as I slide back and forth against the pressure of his dick between my legs.

When he grips my ass tightly for a moment, I think he's going to make us stop like last time and I want anything but that. He feels so good. He's making me feel so good and I want to know what it feels like to get off with someone else. But thankfully instead he rocks me back and forth against him, guiding me across his dick as his pants mix with mine.

"Gideon—" I start to say as I lean my forehead against his.

He swallows thickly. "Yeah?" He doesn't slow his movements as he speaks, and I can see his eyes fluttering shut.

"It feels really good," I whimper.

His lips brush mine, but we don't kiss and I'm glad for it. I like hearing the noises he's making against me, and my head is so full of him that I'm not even sure if I'm making any noises myself or if I'm just panting like an animal. His chest rumbles when he tries to hold back a groan.

"You like grinding against my cock, Wal?" he asks, brushing his nose against my own.

"Y-eah" I say, the last of it coming out more as a whine when he brings me across him a bit harder. My hips stutter and the feeling is more overwhelming than I initially anticipated.

It only takes a feel more minutes of slopping kissing and pathetic grinding for that coil to wind up inside of me and I pull my arms tighter around Gideon's shoulders.

"I think I'm gonna—" I whine against his mouth.

"Fuck—are you going to cum?

I nod furiously against his forehead, and he holds me tighter, moving me faster, breathing faster.

I shudder around him before I even realize it, throbbing and clenching around nothing as Gideon continues to drag me against him. I groan into his mouth and squeeze my eyes shut, seeing a kaleidoscope of colors. Every hair on my arms feels like it's standing up. Gideon's not far behind me. His hips stutter and he lets out a low groan, head falling back against the headrest, eyes shut and mouth hanging open.

The windows of the car have fogged up and we both sit there heavy breathing on top of one another in silence for a few minutes. I rest my head in the crook of his neck as I try to force my heart to stop beating so fast and he's looped his arms around my waist loosely.

The tips of his fingers tap my ass lightly as he raises his head to grin at me.

"That was good," he says through some heavy breaths. "You seem like you're finding some confidence."

"Do I?"

He lowers his head back and nods. "Yeah. It didn't feel as if I led so much."

"That's good," is my lame response.

"Are you satisfied? Did it feel good for you?"

"Really good. That was—"

"Was what?"

My face feels like it's on fire as I keep it buried in his shoulder. "The first orgasm someone else gave me. I liked that."

I feel his fingertips run up and down my spine lazily. It's involuntary, but with how sensitive my body is after that first orgasm, I can't help but imagine his fingers in other places. A little whine slips out of me before I can stop it.

Gideon stills for a moment before he says, "Are you still turned on?"

"Um..."

His fingers dance along my spine more deliberately now. "Are you thinking about these?"

"Gideon..." I warn, though I'm not exactly sure why.

"If you want them, you just have to ask."

"I just came. It's probably a mess down there."

He chuckles into my ear, his breath sending a shiver down my spine.

"Trust me, I don't mind."

I lift my head from his shoulder to finally look at him, my dark waves a tangled mess around my shoulders.

"Won't it be awkward back here?"

Gideon shakes his head and easily maneuvers us to where he's stretched out in the back on the seat, legs spread with one on the floor while I'm sitting on the space between them. He coaxes me to lay back against his chest and I feel his heart thumping steadily against my back. He reaches his hands around to the buttons of my jeans but stops before he goes any further.

"Is this okay?" he asks.

I look down and see his long fingers hovering there, waiting for permission to be inside me and I know immediately that this is what I want. That if rutting up against him felt that good, this is going to feel infinitely better.

"Yes."

He moves one of my legs off the backseat to join his on the floor and presses the other in the opposite direction before he slides his hands into my jeans and under the waistband of my underwear. I can already feel how messy it is in there and I'm worried he's going to be turned off by the slick sensation but the moment his fingers slide between my folds we're both groaning.

"Fuck, Wal, you're so wet," he breathes.

He coats his fingers in my slick and cum from before, dragging them around my lower lips and clit slowly. Deliberately. The pads of his fingers are much wider than my own. Warmer. Longer.

"Oh my god," I whine, and toss my head back and arch a little bit off him. Like I'm trying to get away. To get closer.

He takes his other hand and presses it to my pelvis to hold me down. His middle finger slips inside of me easily thanks to my previous orgasm and I suck in a breath at the intrusion. Slowly, he drags it out to his knuckle before curling his finger and dipping back inside me. I can't help the whines, the shuddering, at the feeling of his finger inside of me. It feels nothing like my own smaller fingers when I've explored down there.

I don't know what to do with my own hands, so I grip onto the one holding me still and turn my head into his neck as I squirm and whine at his ministrations.

"Shit," I whisper.

The sounds are so lewd. The squelching of his fingers. My moans. His heavy breathing. I bring a hand to my mouth to stifle some of the sounds when his thumb brushes against my slit in slow, lazy circles.

"You sound so pretty. Don't do that. Let me hear you," he mumbles.

His pace increases, as do the whimpers slipping from my lips. It's not long before I feel myself reaching my peak again and this time I don't have Gideon to cling to. I jut my arms out to grab onto something, anything, and find one gripping onto the back of the passenger seat while the other ends up being grabbed by Gideon's free one. I arch backwards and my mouth falls open as the cord snaps and my orgasm washes over me. I feel myself shuddering around Gideon's finger inside while he continues to move it as I moan into his ear.

"Oh fuck..." I hear him say as he watches himself help me ride through the orgasm over my shoulder.

When my insides stop fluttering, he slips his hand from my pants, and I can see it glistening with my cum even though it's dark in the car. He brings his finger to his mouth and licks it clean while I bury my face in my hands.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh huh."

"You sure?"

I move finally and button my pants before cashing in all my courage and turning to face him. His hair has loosened from his bun and strands of his brown hair fall into his face.

"That was really good," I admit. "I liked it."

I don't know if I'll ever be able to go back to using my own fingers.

And that was only one of his.

He smiles and softly rests his head against the cold, foggy window.

We stare at each other for a moment before I shatter the silence, trying to bring a sense of normality back to the situation.

"Uh, do you work tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Night shift though. Why?"

"Do you want to hang out now? I can come over to your place and we can watch more X-Files."

He snorts. "Is this because I asked you to watch it the last time we hooked up?"

I try to look genuinely offended.

"No! I need to know if Mulder is infected with that parasite! We stopped in the middle of the episode!"

He laughs whole heartedly before digging his keys from his pocket.

"Okay, yeah that's fine. Let's meet there. I'll leave the door open."