“You opened your account?” Jungwon asked me and showed me his phone.

My eyes widen, “H-how did it trended?” I stuttered.

“It’s because you’re ddeonu,” he answered and laughs softly. “But what is the reason?” he asked me.

“I don’t know either,” I replied bluntly, “And why are people still following me?” I asked randomly.

“It’s because you are ddeonu. They might be thinking you are going back or something hahaha!” he jokes.

I also laugh, “I just want to know what will be Sunghoon’s reaction if I did this,” I stated.

I scroll again through my feed and laughs about how people react after I activate my sasaeng account again.

I just sighed and started deleting all the posts I have in there. It takes me a lot of time but I managed to delete everything in there, private my account and then take a break.

My eyes landed on the calendar and the even will be a day from now. Am I really ready? I really wished so.

One day before the concert, I put a profile picture that was just recently captured. I thought people won’t take it seriously but they started talking about it again that made me trended.

D-day

“Sunoo fighting!”

“Hyung! Let’s go! HAHAHA!”

“Are you ready?” Ayaka asked me.

I nods and smiled at him, “Let’s go!” I shouted in excitement and nervous.

We started traveling heading to the stadium and lining up with the others. There are really a lot of people already. Even foreigners are here.

Around 4 in the afternoon we’re on our seat already. We are really close to the stage for fucking sake. How did Ayaka manage to buy these tix? She’s really rich.

“You really planned all of these, do you?” I asked her.

She started acting so weird like scratching her nape of tying his shoe lace. “Well, I’m not sure,” she denies.

“Tss,” I hissed and laugh at her. “Thank you.”

She suddenly looked at me, “Why?” she asked.

“Because of you I gathered strength to be in here. Thank you so much Ayaka,” I thanked her and smiled.

“You deserve to see him, meet him and talk to him after all that happened to the both of you,” she explained and then smiled at me. “I just want you to be happy, Sunoo-chan,” she added.

“I am thankful but don’t mention my name already, they might hear us,” I said and then laughs.

“I don’t care! All of them should know it. Wait give me your phone,” she said and then grabs my phone.

She took a picture of the stage that’s in front of us and uploaded it on twitter that made me really shocked. “What the heck was that?” I asked her.

“Look at the engagements,” she said instead and give back my phone. “Sunghoon should know you’re here too,” she added.

“I’m going to delete this,” I stated and look at my screen.

“No!” she yelled and takes my phone again. “Just leave it in there,” she insisted so I just sighed.

6 in the evening a VCR stared playing that made everyone screams and stood up while I stayed seated. Then the opening happened and for the first time in a while, I heard Sunghoon’s voice singing live.

I suddenly tear up and with those louds bangs and sounds, I am crying so much while looking at him performs full of energy and smiles.

“I’m so proud of you hyung,” I whispered still crying.

He performed different songs and he rested for a while so he can talk to us. I am brushing my tears when he mentioned this, “I didn’t expect you all to be here— like, you all are really going to sold the tickets out but I’m really grateful you are all in here. I’m happy you are all here but I’m expecting someone special too,” the he laughs a little.

“SUNSUN!”

My eyes widen when Sato Ayaka suddenly shout that. “What the fuck,” I whispered at her.

“Huh? Hahahaha! I heard someone shout in there?” Sunghoon jokingly said and I saw him looking at our direction so I suddenly hid my face.

This crazy is really going to freak the hell out of me.

“Anyways, this is my next song,” he said instead then his next song started playing.

“Are you crazy!?” I shouted at Ayaka.

“YEAH I AM!” she shouted back while enjoying the song that made me pushed her in annoyance.

I take a seat again and just watch Sunghoon perform in front of us. Then after around three songs, a host came out while Sunghoon is changing.

“Okay! Okay! We are now in our most awaited part of the concert!” he welcomed then the crown started screaming. “Everyone is really excited huh? This part is the fan meeting. A lucky fan will be picked and sit in here so Park Sunghoon can sing, dance or talk in front of him or her!” he continued.

My brows frown, what is this? I thought fan meeting will be after the whole concert? So it’s in the middle part?

Anyways, whoever got chosen will be so lucky!

“Okay! I’m going to throw this cutie plushy and to whomever this will land, please come on stage quickly! Okay! 1,2,3!” he the throw that plushy and they started jumping to get that. As they keep on doing that I saw the plushy flew and landed in front of me.

Does heavens really wanted me to meet Sunghoon so bad?

I picked it up and everyone’s eyes are on me like I did something wrong. The next thing I heard is Ayaka screaming then others followed. I fixed my bucket hat and my mask.

“Wow! It’s a lucky fanboy!” I heard from the host then he walks towards me to guide me towards the stage.

“You can sit in there,” he whispered to me so I just nod and sit in there quietly while holding the plushy.

I’m nervous as fuck. I can really feel the coldness under my coat and my whole system is shaking. I am facing thousands of people right now and their eyes are on me.

Can I really do this?

I look at Ayaka’s direction and I saw her cheering for me, at least I have her for tonight. I wish Jungwon and Ni-ki is here also so it can make me more confident.

My hands are really shaking.

“If you’re going to ask something makes sure that it’s not offending or sarcasm. As much as possible refrain from asking too personal and if you’re going to request something, make sure that the idol can do it and don’t make him feel embarrassed, you get me?” he orients me through whispering.

I nod at him, “Yeah,” I replied.

“Okay cool! What’s your name? You can remove your mask and hat so Penguins and Sunghoon will see you,” he asked me through the microphone after giving me mine.

I am shaking while slowly putting the mic in front of my lips, “I am—“ I didn’t finish what I’m about to say when Sunghoon’s voice echoed in the whole studio making everyone screams.

“WHOOOOO IS THAAAAAT!?” he screams and I saw him standing beside me.

My heart is really pounding so fast. I can’t take this anymore I might in here already before I could even speak up to him.

“Hello, how are you?” he asked me so I stood up and bowed at him not saying any words.

I don’t know what I’m going to say!

“Yeah hahaha, I hope I can hear you hahaha! What’s your name?” he asked me.

My hand tightens while holding the mic and I’m really shaking right now. I looked down and I feel so useless. What I’m going to tell him? Wait do I even have the rights to tell my name to him?

“Maybe he’s really shy to introduce himself so should I just sing him a song instead?” Sunghoon asked the crowd and the agreed.

Kim Sunoo, grip yourself together! Why are you acting like this!? You already made a choice right? You are going to meet him tonight and talk to him!

Ahh fuck! This sucks a lot! I’m really a douchebag!

“This song, I never played this before to any of my fan but I made this song to my ultimate hater. I don’t know if he’s in here right now but if he is then, I hope he can hear this,” he announced.

I stared at him while he drinks his water first then a familiar instrumental plays.

No, this song… This song is our song…
I slowly put my mic near my lips and when Sunghoon hyung is about to sing this ballad song that he wrote for me, I started singing it’s lyrics.

“Sunghoon hyung, I’m your sasaeng,” I introduced myself.

Staring at the clouds for a countless time
The first glance I saw you have that smile

I saw Sunghoon hyung looked so surprise and people gasping. The mood is becoming heavier and lighter at the same time. I’m having mixed emotions and it’s unexplainable.

Above this ground, oh my sunshine
I love seeing you so bright

Sunghoon hyung didn’t know how to react then he started covering his mouth with his left hand and looked away from me. I saw tears on his cheeks that made me cry as well.

Just how the icecream froze,
The rides that passes goes,
Is this love?
Is this love what I have?

After those lines I decided to take off my mask and my hat so he can finally see me and I heard people in shock after seeing me from the screens.

Sunghoon hyung even burst in crying when he saw me and started looking away while brushing his tears. Then he started singing the chorus.

Oh my Sunshine, you’re here
Oh my Sunshine, you’re so near
On this Earth, I found you
You gave light and now I’m not blue

The instrumental again played so I run towards him and hugged him so tight. I buried myself on his chest.

“I’m sorry hyung, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry to all that I’ve done to you,” I apologized between my sobs.

“Thank you for coming back, sunshine,” he said instead.

“Thank you for waiting for me to comeback. I’m sorry if it took too long. I’m really sorry hyung,” I apologized again.

He held both of my cheeks, “Sunoo, I love you,” he confessed.

I smiled and cries in joy, “Me too hyung. I love you. I really love you so much,” I confessed after a year.

After a year, after all of shits that happened, I finally said how much I love him.

I saw him smiled. The smiled I saw when we were together. The genuine smile that only I can give him.

He then pulled me closer to him and then I felt his soft lips into mine. I put both of my arms on his shoulders and wrapped in on his nape to deepen the kiss.

I can hear the crowd shouting, I can hear them screaming. I can feel the rush and I don’t want the time to stops. I want this to continue forever.

I don’t care about how people will react, what are they going to throw at me or what are their fucking opinions about this.

All I care is Sunghoon hyung being with me again after everything.

Our love finally made it to its right time with us being the right persons for each other.

(Hello everyone! I’m Park Sunghoon and I want to greet a good luck to all the students who are going to take the CSAT examination today! Fighting everyone!)

“Oh, someone’s going to perfect the exams hahah!” Jungwon teased me after I watched Sunghoon’s greeting video in YouTube.

“Stop it hahahaha,” I laughed at him.

“Okay! Okay! We’re going to take an 8-hour examination so please stop thinking about your Sunghoon for now and focus, okay?” Jungwon reminds me.

“Yes Mr. Yang!” I answered and made a salute.

“Very good!” he commented and thumbs up on me.

We went inside our different rooms and other student are taking pictures of me and greeting me. I don’t really mind them and just smiled at them back.

“Whoa! That was hell!” I heard Jungwon commented after we finally finished are exams. Then he looked up. "The weather is so fine today," he commented.

I looked at him and he's still smiling, "I don't know. It's really cold," I replied that made him laugh. “But almost everything that Ms. Shin taught us actually appeared in there tho?” I asked him.

“Of course! That’s Ms. Shin and there she is!” Jungwon shouted and I looked to where he is pointing.

I saw Ms. Shin smiling widely to us and waving her hands. We run towards her and she gave us a hug and then Ni-ki is also in here.

“Congratulations!” the both greeted us.

“This means a tteokbokki treat right?” I teasingly convinced Ms. Shin.

“Okay! Okay! I got it! It’s on me!” she agreed and we all hop inside her car.

I am Kim Sunoo, a former sasaeng of Park Sunghoon and now the love of his life and his personal photographer. I’m also working sometimes in ENB but this one is kind of legal hahahaah!

Jungwon is also having his part time job in a photo studio and Ni-ki passed the interview. He’s now living in the dorm that was provided by HIVE for them he just excused for now because of my exams.

Park Sunghoon hyung is now a successful and happy idol. He is successful before but the latter part was missing but now his sunshine lit his way again.

Everything doesn’t go according to what you plan. Everything doesn’t work just because you want to. Everything doesn’t revolve on you.

Money, I can really testify now that money is the root of evil. Money can buy you happiness, that’s true but genuine happiness? It can’t. Today, money is really important to people but bear in mind that it will not always be money.

Park Sunghoon hyung made me realize that money is important but it's not everything.

You can do whatever you want to help someone but doing good things and legally is the best to help them.

Don’t ever rush love. You can fall in love to anything in every minute but don’t forced yourself to be fully committed to it especially if you know that it’ll just hurt the both of you.

Always consider the time and the person in loving someone.

Love requires time as how time requires love.

It should be balance or it’ll just bring toxicity in your relationship and ruin the both of you.

Love is patient; it does not rush and will always be humble.

“Jungwon and Sunoo! Eat a lot okay? You two already passed the examination!” Ms. Shin cheered us so we both laughed.

“Thank you so much Ms. Shin,” I said and bowed at her.

“Thank you for teaching us Ms. Shin,” Jungwon thanked her also.

“You’re welcome. So you should enter the best college and graduate okay!?” she exclaimed.

“Yeah!” Jungwon and I agreed and we started eating again.

“Goodness, kids these days aren’t doing good things,” I heard from an adult behind me and I saw her watching the television in front of us.

(Car with five persons inside jumped off the cliff, their names are hidden due to the family’s request. The police and investigators are still investigating whether this is an accident or a planned suicide by the victims…)

S-suicide?

I suddenly felt goosebumps after that. “Are you okay hyung?” N-ki asked me.

“Ahh yeah, let’s eat hahaha,” I answered and dig in.

I looked again at the TV and suddenly thought of Choi Beomgyu, I wonder if he’s already okay with his friends now? I hope so.

After Ms. Shin treated us, Jungwon, Ni-ki and I decided to head in HIVE and we already welcomed in there. Sunghoon messaged me to go the café of five and when we reached there, HYPEN’s members are also in there.

The seven of us is in the long table and we started talking about random things the Sunghoon hyung and I decided to walk near the glass windows.

“Are you happy?” he asked me while we’re looking at setting sun outside.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” I asked him and chuckles.

He held my hand so I rested on his shoulders, “I will never regret meeting you as my sasaeng,” he stated that made me laugh softly.

“I never regret being you sasaeng, Mr. Park Sunghoon,” I added too and chuckles.

I felt him kissing the top of my head that made me smile, “Love will always be the best if it happens on its perfect timing,” he commented.

“You’re right. And I,” I paused and looked at him then hold both of his hand.

“And you're?” he’s staring at me, waiting for what I’m going to say.

“I’m proud that I’m your sasaeng.”