I've constantly felt like my obsession was a secret that nobody would ever know about, but one day when the guy and I arrived at the intersection I felt like I had to get it off my chest. Because for the first time ever, I felt like somebody would care.

He saw something was up, so he asked me what was bothering me and, while pushing my anxiety aside, I started telling the story that had been my secret for years.

I told him about the boy and his path, my obsession, and while I was talking I felt like I had to explain why I did what I did, but I wasn't able to. I couldn't find the words to describe what I had felt.

I said I just felt too anxious to talk to him or take action, because I couldn't find a better explanation.