T.S. NELLIOT

Waving her off, I hopped out of Brandi's truck and onto the driveway of Nell's house. Soon my ride was speeding off down the street, and I was clutching the sketches of Nifty Nell close to my chest so the rain wouldn't ruin them.

I ran up the driveway and onto the doorstep of the Kissinger household, my hair dripping splotches of water onto my clothes.

Oh Newt Adler, why did you have to be right with your forecast?

Being as close as I was to my previous life, it was as if the universe just wanted to rain on my parade.

Literally.

"Penellope Iris Kissinger," Nell's dad scolded as I opened the front door to the house. "Where have you been? You weren't at Sadie's, I was worried."

"Sorry," I mumbled, slipping out of my now damp shoes.

Leaning against the white countertop and sporting a 'Kiss the Cook' apron, Nell's dad did not break eye contact with me. "Who dropped you off?" he asked.

"Brandi."

"Brandi Schumann? Since when are you two friends?"

"It's not important," I said, attempting to brush away the subject, yet it wasn't enough to deter Nell's dad's glare away from me.

"Now, I'm only upset because you didn't tell anyone where you were going, and just neglected your chores."

"Well, I'm here now. And I'll do my chores."

"It's only right," he said, "Now hop to it."

First on the list of Nell's daily chores was making her bed — even I knew that one —but considering she spent the night at my place last night, it'd be safe to consider that task done.

That left the laundry. I sent myself up the stairs to Nell's bedroom to find a safe spot for the sketches of Nifty Nell. Underneath the covers of her bed became their temporary home, and I hoped that neither of Nell's pesky siblings would find it before she did.

I collected loose articles of clothing that were strewn across the room, and threw the ones that didn't pass the sniff test into a pile. And while doing laundry at my own house was such a mundane task, doing it for Nell was an adventure. It led to me to uncover unbelievable things, like a pair of ripped jeans that I hadn't seen her wear before, and a neon yellow headband that I don't think anybody in this decade would wear.

But it was a pair of loose underwear that lead me to my next discovery. As I went to return the underwear to its resting place, a beat up brown notebook caught my eye.

Without thinking, I scooped it up from the underwear drawer and inspected it.

Sure enough, it was her poetry book. I had been the one to go with her when she bought it from the thrift store, and also the one to persuade her not to get such an old book. But she shooed me off from making that decision, deeming the book 'vintage'. Meanwhile, I found myself sneezing the entire trip home from all the dust on the thing.

Nell's poems were very personal; she had never shown them to me. Curiosity got the best of me in this case, and I then skimmed through the pages. Nell organized her notebook like a diary, writing the dates on the top of the page. My thumb stopped on an entry from two weeks ago, on my last day of Sadie.

'I was born in denial as the lesser of two evils.'

Huh? I was half expecting the entry to be about me and the fight we had that day, but all that was there was one measly sentence that I didn't even understand.

Denial? Lesser of two evils?

Was I stupid for not getting it, or was Nell a secret poetic genius?

"What does that even mean?" I asked aloud to the notebook.

As expected, the book did not answer me, but that didn't stop me from questioning her poems, even if my thoughts never exited my lips.

The next entry was from the following day, the day I was Tegan.

'I was born in the reign of September with my father's wit and my mother's hair.'

Yet another head scratcher. There was plenty to be picked apart in this one. For instance, Nell had already written about her birth, and she wasn't even born in September. And while she had black hair, Nell's mom's hair was a light blonde.

Although it was my opinion that two times was enough to discuss her birth, Nell didn't seem to think so. After those two entries, the pattern continued on.

'I was born on the anniversary of my death in the cool waters of Jamaica.' 

As cool as it sounded, I had to disagree with Nell on that one; Iowa wasn't even close to being Jamaica. And as for her being born on the anniversary of her death, I guess that we would just have to wait and find out if that would come true.

'I was born for you, without you I'd cease to exist.'

I felt uncomfortable reading that one, enough for me to actually wince. It was over-the-top, and I couldn't imagine who she was referring to.

'I was born in a big grey cloud.'

While I liked the sound of this one, I couldn't help but wonder where I'd heard it before. Wasn't it in some emo song?

After that poem, I had to shut the book and wonder about what was so special about her birth. Its significance was one thing I couldn't quite figure out yet.

Perhaps it was a metaphor for...something. I didn't even know what for. While sighing, I leaned against Nell's dresser.

Did I even know her that well?

Sure, we had known each other since birth, but I couldn't figure out what her poems meant. On my Last Day of Sadie, she had bugged me to quit basketball so we could spend more time together; was this why? Because we started to lose touch with each other?

I wasn't good at trying to understand. Certain things were up to interpretation while others were not, and I guess that there were also some things that didn't make any sense at all.

And even though I had snagged a peak at Nell's writing, there was still so much I needed to know.

Why was I switching bodies? Would my life ever go back to normal? Why do dudes have nipples?

With the notebook still in my hand, I took several steps backward until I was able to sit on Nell's bed. But as I sat, something crinkled underneath me. I untucked the blanket from the made bed to find that the sketches of Nifty Nell had become all wrinkled under my butt.

For a few seconds, I couldn't turn away from the sketches. What would happen to 'Nifty Nell' after I'd leave tomorrow? I thought back to the little note I had written to the real Nell; maybe I had jumped the gun on that one. Considering I didn't know her mind well enough to understand her poetry, how could I have been so sure that she'd even like the whole idea of 'Nifty Nell'?

However, before I could wonder about it any longer, Nell's dad's voice came from downstairs.

"Penellope! Get down here!"

My legs protested the entire way out of Nell's bedroom and down the stairs. And as I walked down them, I couldn't help but sneak peeks out the window.

The rain was still crashing to the earth, but I didn't mind. I enjoyed watching it, especially since it would most likely be my last day in Iowa for a long time. This way, I was soaking up as much of my old life that I possibly could.

"Are you listening?" Nell's dad asked.

My head snapped to his direction, only to see him sigh into a large metal bowl that he was stirring around.

"We're having a very special treat tonight," he said, "vegan cheesecake."

Blegh! Why would you take something innocent like a cheesecake and torture it until it was vegan?

"Yum," I mumbled instead.

"But I need you to get a few things from the store so I can make it. A whole list full actually."

Resting his bowl on the counter, he scribbled his requests on the back of an old receipt with a drying up pen. He handed it over for me to take, but I hesitated.

"You want me to go to the store? In this weather?"

"A few stores actually," he said. "You won't be able to get the good deal on the almond milk from the regular supermarket, so you'll have to go to the health store too."

I crumpled the list into a ball in my hand. "But I can't drive in the rain."

He sighed. "Penellope, you need to do this. Your mother's out of town, the twins are running a fever, and I have a cheesecake in the oven, so you're going to have to pull your weight around here."

"Okay," I mumbled, attempting to keep my breathing steady.

His eyes went back to his bowl, but my mine went back to the sky. The rain showed no signs of stopping soon, and I would have to drive out in it.

"Is everything alright with you?" Nell's dad asked. "Did you and Sadie get in an argument?"

"No. Everything is fine," I said in a tone robotic enough to snag me a role in the next WALLE movie.

"Perfect," Nell's dad said next, and I felt him put several bills into my hand. "I want the change back, okay?"

Pocketing the money next to Nell's cellphone, I took one last glance at the sky. Driving was such a stupid idea, and I didn't even have my learner's permit.

"Hey, it's now or never," he said to me.

Taking his advice, I retrieved Nell's car keys from the bowl by the front door and toyed with them in my hand.

I took another deep exhale before I stepped out the front door and into the cold rain.

It really was now or never.