I stared out the window, my body wrapped up in soft and warm blankets, it's been a day since I've been home. Jungkook was probably still mad at me, so I didn't dare to go back.

"Have you called Beakhyun yet?" Jin asked from behind me, to which I shook my head. My entire body was exhausted. I couldn't sleep that night, my whole life flashing in front of my eyes, for so long I had thought they were my actual parents, and now when they're dead, and I'm almost, I find out they're not.

I was a bit mad at them, for not telling me, but I was also happy that they treated my like their own even when I wasn't. What if they were actually planning to tell me, but couldn't because they died.

"Go call him" Jin pushed a phone in my hand, with shaky hands I pushed in the phone number.

"Hello?"

"Hyung, can you come and get me at Jin's house?" I spoke softly through the microphone.

"Tae? Yeah of course, I'll be there in 20 minutes" He said and hung up.

I sighed and returned the phone to Jin, who was watching me expectingly.

"He's coming in 20 minutes" I said and Jin nodded.

"Let's just watch tv until then" his attention went back to the tv, while mine returned to outside the window.

I didn't realise 20 minutes had passed until the door bell rang. Jin stood up and opened the door, while I stayed seated.

"Tae?" A low voice sounded. I looked back to see Chanyeol. He looked worried, I didn't want him to worry.

"Hi" I mumbled.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He whispered as he sat besides me. I didn't know why he was whispering.

"N-nothing... I-I" I hesitated. "Can we go home?"

"Of course, let's get you home" he smiled and helped me up, the blanket falling from my shoulders. He brought me to the hall, where Jin and Beakhyun were talking, both of them were frowning.

"Let's go" Chanyeol said and turned to Jin. "Thank you for watching over him"

"No problem" He smiled and closed the door behind us as we walked out, before I even had the change to say goodbye.

I sat in the backseat of the car, looking out of the window silently. Both Chanyeol and Beakhyun were silent, only the radio and sounds from outside could be heard. I watched as the houses and trees rolled by, not really seeing them. I didn't want to think about anything, my mind was blank.

Before I knew it we arrived home. My door was opened and Chanyeol helped me out of it. I felt like a child, but I wasn't in the mood to ponder about that now. I wasn't in the mood for anything.

I walked up the stairs, Chanyeol behind me to catch me in case I fell. When we made it safely to my room, I got into bed without a word and stared at the ceiling. Baekhyun sat down on the bedside, looking at me with a soft and worries expression.

"Tae, what's wrong?" He asked. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him, hiding my face in his shirt before the facade cracked and crumbled.

I cried, wailed, screamed. I couldn't handle it anymore, the pain was too much. I had to let out all the emotions that I had bottled up. I continued sobbing for what seemed like an hour, the only thing keeping me from wrecking everything around me were the arms around me. They made me feel so safe as I cried.

"It's okay, let it out" Baekhyun rubbed over my back in comfort. I tried to say something, but only incoherent sounds came out.

I continued crying for everything that I felt, for every time someone had lied to me, or that I lied to them. For the time that I was happy, and everything crashed down, and for the times I suffered and no one noticed. For the scars that were adding throughout the years, for the loneliness and the pain, for the heartbreaks and the hate. For the burden I had been on everyone, and the burdens I carried with me. For sorries I said and had gotten, that weren't sincere enough.

I cried for everything; everyone, every time, every day, every night, every fall, every step, every lie, every scar, just everything. Just, everything...

I felt calmer, like the screaming in my head suddenly stopped. It was enough now, I let it out, and it's okay. My sobbing died down until no more tears fell. I had to stop now, or I wouldn't be able to anymore.

"Do you feel better now?" Baekhyung asked in a calming whisper. I didn't react, my body had already shut down. In a dreamless state of sleep. My body was limp, like I was dead. My chest went up and down in a soft rhythm, small breaths taken through my mouth.

My face was covered in tears, cheeks red and rough, eyes puffy and ugly, and throat hurting from the screams.

It was enough, it was okay now. That what I kept telling myself.

It had to be okay now, so please let it be. I don't think I can handle anything else, not now.

Well that was a long fucking wait for nothing....
-A.D.