~ Chapter 78: Stars That Sparkle Your Name ~

[ Justin’s POV: ]

When I entered the hotel room Alfredo and I were staying at, the entire place was eerily quiet. It was a bit cold and I felt myself shiver before calling out Fredo’s name into the air.

“Fredo? Where are you, man?” I said, looking around the empty living room. I took a step forward. “You said it was an emergency.”

I heard slow footsteps and Alfredo showed up from the kitchen, his face a bit pale. I looked at him, feeling scared. The air was intense and I knew something was wrong but I didn’t know what.

“I’m sorry I went through your stuff,” he murmured.

I paused, confusion spreading throughout my body.

“Um.. W-what?” I asked. “What do you mean?”

“I agreed to do what she said but I didn’t think it would be like this..” he said quietly.

“What.. are you talking about?” I raised an eyebrow in concern. 

“Are you okay?”

Alfredo let out a sigh and pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket as well as an envelope. He held out his hand to me and looked deep into my eyes.

“Open it,” he instructed solemnly and I sucked in a breath of air.

I hesitantly reached towards him and grabbed the envelope, slowly opening the flap. I pulled out two pieces of paper and unfolded it.

From: Katie.

I looked up at Fredo.

“I’m not reading this,” I blurted out, remembering the last time I had found a letter from her.

“Justin, it’s important,” he said sternly, gazing at me dead in the eyes and I saw nothing but seriousness inside his irises.

I stared at him a while longer before sighing in defeat, raising the first page so my eyes could scan it:

It’s me again. Katie.

I know you must’ve received my previous letter a while ago. I hope you didn’t lose it. Listen carefully because.. Well, this is important to me. And it’s important to you too. I said I’d stay out of your way, and I’m keeping that promise, so there’s nothing to fear, really. I promise. Here’s what I wanted to tell you. There are two pages inside the envelope you just opened. Don’t read the second one yet. Instead, I want you to find the very first letter I sent to you. Can you do that?

I stopped and looked up at Fredo again. He raised the folded piece of paper he held in his hand.

“Here,” he said. “I retrieved it from your drawer ‘cause I knew you’d hide it in there. Sorry again for going through your stuff.”

I blinked twice before I took the letter from him with shaky hands.

“Keep reading,” he said.

I lowered my eyes back down to the page:

If you have it—good. It’s the perfect time to tell you the truth now. I’ve hidden a secret message inside that first letter. Something I wanted to tell you before, but I couldn’t because I knew you’d do something about it. But no, I can’t have you doing that for me. I’ve already made up my mind. Don’t worry, I’ll explain everything in the second page of this envelope. So reread that very first letter and find the secret message inside it. Then you can finally open up that other final page.

The message is revealed by taking out the second word of the beginning of each sentence so it can form a completely new sentence.

Good luck, detective Bieber.

- Katie

“Look at her first letter now,” Alfredo said. I quietly obeyed, wondering why this was such a big mystery. Why would Katie go through all this trouble, instead of just talking to me?

I unfolded the letter I had read days ago and did as Katie said: to look at every second word.

Justin,

My life has been quite tough on me pretty much since I was born, as I may have mentioned to you before. I really have become used to the worst happening to me and I’ve been thinking about something lately. It sucks that we met the way we did. Hate and confusion was really all we got from the two of us being together, if we were ever really “together” to begin with. Maybe I just made a mistake, and Scooter was right, but maybe Scooter was wrong, you never know. I want to make it clear to you that I only ever meant well, and I’m sorry—truly sorry, if I brought upon you any trouble. Just to have been with you for the short time that I was, is enough to make me happy, at least. I’d die for another chance to start over with you, but for now you don’t know where I am, and I’d love it if it stayed that way, just for a while..

“Not Exactly” Yours truly,

Katie

I gasped as I read the new sentence.

Life really sucks and I want to die.

My heart began beating faster, and I could hardly feel myself breathe.

“No..” I whispered, dropping the letter to the floor and quickly shuffling through the envelope to find the last letter. “No…”

I desperately opened it up and held my breath, unprepared to read the words written across the final page:

Dear Justin,

I guess you finally reached the final letter. Sorry for putting you through all that trouble, but.. I couldn’t have you interfering. However, I did promise I’d explain. So that’s what I’m gonna do. From the message you uncovered, you probably already guessed that, yes, I want to commit suicide. I have been suicidal for quite some time now. Ever since I found out something that has changed everything, and added on to my long list of horrible things in my life. I told you since the day I met you that my life has been rough and, sadly, I just can’t handle it anymore. I’ve been such a burden to you. So now here’s the truth.

I wasn’t pregnant with a baby girl like the doctor told us. I gave birth a couple days ago and it turned out that it’s a boy. Doctors make mistakes, you know. So it’s really not that big of a deal. Anyway, He’s beautiful. So, so beautiful. With his tiny head and tiny feet. I fell in love the minute I held him in my arms. I didn’t name him though. He’s too good to deserve a mother like me, so I sent him where I thought he’d be better off. The family that adopted him are so, so nice. They promised to always remind him they love him and to sing to him at night and read him stories. I recently found out they named him Jake. Nice name, right?

So back to another thing I wanted to tell you. I wasn’t lying when I said I was confused when we allegedly thought you were the father. Honestly, I thought our intimate night together was the mistake that had gotten me pregnant. But don’t worry about ruining your image any longer. Scooter was right. The baby isn’t yours.

Remember when I told you I’ve had a terrible past? Well, I’ve been raped quite a few times in my lifetime. The father to my baby is one of my abusers. That sickened me. A lot. I just can’t live with myself. I couldn’t raise my baby because every time I have to see his face, I’d remember the horrible past I’ve had with his father. He’s a scary man, and quite literally the devil in my life. He’s someone I never want to see ever again. My baby deserves much better than what I’ll ever be able to give him. I just couldn’t do it, so I made my decision. I’d give birth, find a good home for my baby, write these letters to you, and die.

I hope you’re not mad at me. It took me a long time to come to a conclusion, but I’m happier this way. I’m in a better place. Free from hate. Free from abuse. Free from rape.

I just want you to know I never lied to you when I said I loved you. You were the only good thing in my life. I really mean that. I know I brought you nothing but pain, but thanks for putting up with me for the amount of time you did. And I understand if you hate me.

By the time you’re reading this at this very moment, I’ve already committed suicide. And if this envelope got to you successfully, it means I’m officially dead.

I want you to know that as I’m sitting here, writing this letter in a small desk on my run-down apartment, I’m looking out the window and the stars are beautiful. The lights remind me of those city lights we saw at the party the day we met. Beautiful, isn’t it? It almost seems as if the stars spell out your name. J-u-s-t-i-n.

Thanks for giving me a light of happiness in my life. You’re the only man I truly ever loved. I hope one day you find a girl who treats you like a king. And I hope she loves you just as much as I loved you, if not more. ‘Cause you really deserve it.

I hope you live a happy life, Justin.

I love you.

Goodbye forever, and I’m sorry.

~ Katie

I reached my hand up to touch my wet cheek.

I was crying.

I couldn’t stop. I wanted to yell and cry out and shout for her to please come back. I didn’t think things with Katie would ever end up like this. Ever.

I never hated her. I was just in a tough position.

But now? There’s so many things I regret.

So many things.

As my tears blurred my vision, I looked out the window next to us to see the clear, night sky.

And it seemed as if the stars sparkled her name. K-a-t-i-e.

************************************

Intense chapter, huh?

Most of you guys hated Katie. So what did you think about the chapter? ;(

And even sadder news:

This book is almost coming to an end.

I know I said this a million chapters ago, but this time I think I mean it.

I’ll probably resume work on my other books after this, though.

Love you guys <3

- Nina xx