~ Chapter 39: Wait… What?  ~

[ Justin’s POV: ]

“Yoberdoodles don’t exist,” Za shook his head, tightening his grip on the car wheel.

“Aw come on,” Jama pouted from the backseat, “You ever seen the show Teletubbies?”

“Yes, and I can assure you the word yoberdoodles have not been mentioned once,” Za rolled his eyes. 

“I talked about it with one of my bro’s,” Jama argued, “Yoberdoodles are the teletubbies species.”

“There’s no such thing!” Za chuckled. “If anything, it sounds like a species of puppies.”

I groaned.

“You mean berdoodles?” Jama pointed out. “That’s not what I’m talking about, man, I’m talking yoberdoodles.”

“It doesn’t exist,” Za grinned.

“It does too!”

“Says who?”

I groaned again.

“I had a whole conversation about them with my friends.”

“Well, you and your friends must’ve been high off the ground.”

“Za, I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

I tightened my fists.

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because there’s no such thing as yoberdoodles,” Za laughed.

“Yes, there is,” Jama countered.

“Will you guys shut the fuck up about fucking yoberdoodles?!” I yelled, punching the car door.

“Aye, easy on the car,” Za warned.

“I don’t give a fuck!”

“Whoa, calm down, Canuck,” Jama’s voice rang in my ears.

“Don’t fucking call me that.”

“Why so angry?” Za glanced at me, before locking his gaze back onto the road.

“Because I’m trying to prepare myself for a deep tour discussion with Scooter and all you two can yap about are fucking yoberdoodles which, by the way, DOESN’T exist!” I yelled.

Jama scoffed. “One day I’ll prove y’all motherfuckers wrong.”

“SHUT the fuck up before I snap your neck,” I rubbed my temples, trying to keep calm.

“Careful, Jama,” Za chuckled, “He’s in one of those moods.”

“You mean the one where he gets all angry for no reason?” Jama called back.

“Yep.”

“I’m right here!” I reminded them.

“Oh, right… How are ya, Justin?” Za teased.

“I swear to god…” I mumbled, lowering my voice in hopes that none of them could hear me, “I will beat the living shit out of your sorry asses.”

“I heard that,” Za laughed.

“What? What’d he say? I’m all the way back here,” Jama whined.

“Shut up,” I spat.

“He said he’s going to beat our sorry asses,” Za explained.

“Shut up,” I repeated.

“Him against the two of us?” Jama laughed.

“Shut up.”

“Word, I highly doubt he can take us on both.”

“Shut up.”

“The little man’s strong but can he handle two?” Jama chuckled.

“I swear to god, I’m gonna jump off this car,” I bit my lip, trying hard not to go insane.

“I think we should stop talking,” Za whispered to Jama.

“Word,” Jama nodded.

For the rest of the car ride, I finally got the peace and quiet I was praying to God for. I leaned my head against the car window and watched the passing trees and buildings before me. All I could think about was this new tour, and how I’ll be far away from Katie. And from… Jackie.

Jackie.

It’s been a while since I’ve thought of her. I’ve been too busy trying to forget her to take the time out of my day to think about her. It’s been bugging me. The fact that I can encounter this Katie girl, whom I remembered nothing about from the other party, and become so friendly with her at tonight’s party. I got pretty intimate with her, and to be completely honest it bugs me that I couldn’t do it that easily with Jackie.

Why?

Why was I able to tease Katie like that and, in a way, be playful but I couldn’t do it with Jackie?

It’s simple. I just met Katie. I wasn’t going to show her that part of me only Jackie had seen. I wasn’t going to show her how incredibly depressed I’ve been feeling, the way I had done with Jackie. I wasn’t going to show my true self. No, I was going to put up my tough guy act and… Well… I guess I was a player.

I’m a different person without Jackie. I’m someone I’m not. The difference is I actually care about her. Which is why I can’t be with her. The only way to keep her safe from this life is to keep her away from it. At least now I know she’ll be living the normal life she deserves.

And Katie? Well Katie reminds me of… me. How broken she is… And how I’m broken too. I’m not sure if she can heal me and mend my broken heart, and I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to do that for her either, but I guess what I seek with her is understanding.

I’m technically not using her. I’m just keeping her around because she’s someone who understands what it’s like. At least more than anyone else…

That, and the fact that she’s carrying my child.

“We’re here,” Za’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I gave off a slight nod and exited the car before looking back at both Jama and Za.

“See you guys whenever,” I whispered.

“Good luck on the tour, man,” Jama gave me a thumbs up.

“Yeah, own that stage,” Za winked.

“I will,” I forced a laugh before waving them goodbye and entering the building in front of me. I took the elevator just like I always did and pressed the button to the seventh floor. When the elevator doors opened again, I stepped out to the hallway, making my way towards Scooter’s office. I knocked twice and opened the door, only to see the man of the hour sitting on his chair, typing something on his computer.

“Justin!” he looked up at me, a smile on his face. “Good to see ya.”

“You too,” I merely nodded, taking a seat across from his desk. “You wanted to see me?”

“Yep, we’re just going to get down to business and discuss this new tour, alright?” he said.

“Got it…” I mumbled.

“First things first…” he paused. “You okay? How have you been?”

“Good,” I lied.

“Did you… Get any more information about that girl you, uh… Got pregnant?” he said softly, knowing it’s a touchy subject.

“Eh, no,” I lied again.

“Do you want me to?”

“No. No.”

“Alright,” he sighed, “Then let’s just jump right into it. We’re going straight to New York City. We’ll do one or two concerts there and then we’ll fly out to Atlanta, then Florida, and then Texas. We’re going back up north and do more shows in New Jersey, and then we’ll actually do one show up at Toronto. After that, we’re coming back to L.A to do about three shows, and our last stop would be San Diego.”

I kept nodding at the information until I heard the last two words and I froze.

“Wait… What?” I asked. “S-San Diego?”

“Yeah. I know it’s weird to go to Canada and then come back down here but… It is what it is,” he gave me a small smile.

“R-Right…” I trailed off.

“So that’s all I really wanted to tell you. We’ll be spreading out to more countries later on. Just tell me if you have any questions.”

“Uh yeah, actually,” I shifted in my seat, “When are we leaving?”

“In about 3 hours. You hungry?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Um, are we going on a private jet?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there a while after you get there. Kenny’s downstairs somewhere, he can drive you,” he explained.

“Oh…” I stood up. “I’ll see you then, I guess.”

“Yeah, see you.”

After walking out of Scooter’s office, I spotted Kenny standing a few feet away from me and I paused.

“I thought you were—”

“I know,” Kenny interrupted, laughing quietly to himself. “I was going to ask if you were even here but I guess I know now.”

“Ah,” I raised my eyebrows, “You thought I’d be late?”

“Well that would be typical Justin, wouldn’t it?” he winked.

I let out a soft laugh before I heard a new, familiar voice come out from a room.

“Hey Kenny, where’d you put my bag?” the voice asked.

“It’s already in the car,” Kenny assured the person. I raised an eyebrow in confusion and looked behind Kenny. It was precisely when I had seen the person’s face, that my heart had skipped a beat.

He kept walking towards Kenny, and when he finally noticed me, he also froze. He took a good look at me, locking eyes with me, not knowing what to say. Kenny looked at us both, the confusion clear in his face.

“Hey…” I tried to make conversation with him.

He cleared his throat, fixing his shirt. “Umm, I believe the last words you said to me were ‘fuck you, I fucking hate you’.”

I bit my lip, lowering my head in shame. “Alfredo.. I’m so sorry.”

“Save it, Justin.”

“No, really,” I made sure he was listening to me. “I didn’t mean any of those words.”

“I know,” Fredo sighed. “I’ve known you too long to think you’d mean them.” I looked at him with hopeful eyes. “But you still say them… And they still hurt.”

“Fredo, please,” I tried not to cry, “I’ve missed you. God, you don’t know how much I’ve missed you. I was so worried you’d actually never want to see me again and that… that scares the living shit out of me because… You’re the only one I know I can trust and I know you care about me. It may not seem like it, but I care about you too. I was just angry that day and I accidentally took it out on you.”

“Yeah? You ‘accidentally’ take it out on me all the time, Justin,” he scoffed. “You always say you’re sorry and you want to get better but you do nothing about it.”

My eyes glistened with tears. “I know… I’m pathetic,” I closed my eyes, trying hard to keep my feelings inside.

“But you’re still like my little brother,” Fredo muttered. “No matter what you do… I’m always going to look out for you. I can never, ever stay mad at you.” He took a step closer to me. “You know that, right?”

I looked up at him, a single tear sliding down my cheek. I couldn’t trust my voice so I simply nodded.

“Come here,” Fredo whispered, embracing me into a bro hug. I hugged him back tightly, grateful to have someone like him in my life. “No matter how bad things get, I’m not going anywhere. You understand me?”

“Y-Yeah,” I whimpered, my voice coming out muffled into his shirt.

“Good,” he pulled away and ruffled my hair. “Now let’s go. New York City’s waiting.”

I smiled and glanced over at Kenny, only to see him bawling his eyes out.

“Kenny…” I looked at him in concern. “What’s wrong?”

Kenny sobbed, wiping tears from his eyes. “I’ve n-never seen… or heard… anything s-so beautiful in my entire l-life.”

I laughed, knowing he was referring to Alfredo and I’s moment.

“Aw Kenny, I know I’m beautiful, but you don’t have to remind me everyday,” Fredo joked, winking at me and wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

“Don’t get cocky now,” I teased him, shoving him away.

“Who says I’m getting cocky?” he grinned, flipping his nonexistent, long and luscious hair.

Instead of replying, I just laughed at him, skipping over towards the elevator and pressing the button. And in that moment I realized that, for the first time in so long, I actually felt happy.

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ALFREDO’S BACK! #turnup

- Nina xx