~ Chapter 36: Trying To Move On  ~

[ Jackie’s POV: ]

To me, locking myself up in my room again wasn’t an option. I didn’t want to shut everyone out, no matter how depressed I felt. I missed Justin, yes. But isolating myself from the world won’t bring him back. He already shuts everyone out from his own life and I tried to save him from that but I guess there’s nothing I can really do. I tried my very hardest and, just when I thought I was getting somewhere, I lost him.

It’s just difficult to accept the fact that I may never see him again. That’s truly the hard part.

“You can’t mope around, you know,” Robin’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I shot my head up and looked at her as she stared blankly towards my direction, her legs crossed on her couch. “I invited you to sleep over so you won’t feel alone.”

“I don’t feel alone,” I assured her, crossing my arms.

“At least stop thinking about him…” she whispered. “We’ve had this talk before, Jackie. What did you think was going to happen? You thought you could’ve had something with Justin Bieber? That famous singer? That’s every girl’s dream. You were lucky enough to have the pleasure of hanging out with him for so long. His fame goes on and so does your life. Don’t waste it.”

I puffed out a breath of air before leaning back on the couch.

“You know what you need?” Robin tapped my leg.

“What?”

She grinned slightly. “It’s Sara’s birthday tomorrow. She’s throwing a party at her house.”

I slapped my forehead. “Shit, I forgot it was Sara’s birthday.”

My cheeks blushed in embarrassment. How could I forget the birthday of someone who I’ve known since 8th grade? She’s practically my other best friend who isn’t Robin. But I haven’t seen her lately because she travels a lot. I guess she came back to celebrate her birthday with all her high school friends. Plus, with Justin invading my thoughts all day, how could I have even remembered when my own birthday is, in general?

“So what do you say? You wanna go?” Robin nudged my shoulder suggestively. “It’ll bring back high school memories and you won’t be thinking of you-know-who.”

I sighed, rubbing my temples. “I don’t know, Robin.”

“What don’t you know? It’ll be fun and you’d be a terrible friend if you don’t at least go just for Sara.”

I let out a small groan. No matter how much I hated it, she was right.

“Fine,” I muttered. “Now let me go to sleep. I’m way too tired.”

I stood up and waved to her before leaving upstairs to my room. In a way, I was excited about tomorrow. I haven’t been able to let loose and have fun in quite a while, so this could be great for me.

—

[ Justin’s POV: ]

When I woke up, I was crashed out on the couch and my vision was blurry. As soon as my eyes adjusted to my surroundings, I sat up and saw Jama swallowing a glass of orange juice.

“Ya finally decided to wake up, huh?” he laughed. I rubbed my eyes and slumped my shoulders lazily before yawning.

“What’s going on?” I asked, my thoughts fuzzy as I eyed him.

Jama finished the juice and set down the cup on the table before walking over to me. “We’re going to Khalil’s party.” He lent me his hand and I took it, standing up with his help before he released me and patted my back. “Go get ready.”

“W-Wait…” I did a double take. “What?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to go…” he trailed off.

I blinked twice. “But I don’t.”

“Why not? It’s your bud Khalil, for crying out loud.”

“Yes, he got his driver’s license. Good fucking job, he deserves the world’s biggest fucking medal in the entire universe,” I spat out sarcastically. “I can call him later and congratulate him, you all don’t have to make up excuses to party every fucking day of the week.”

“Whoa, whoa,” Jama raised his hands up in defense. “Why so grumpy?”

I sighed, running a hand through my hair before looking up at him. “Sorry. But… Twist is definitely going to be there and… I don’t want to face him today.”

“Well I understand that part, but I also know a very good reason why you should go,” he wiggled his eyebrows at me teasingly.

“And what might that reason be?” I rolled my eyes.

Jama grinned from ear to ear before licking his lips. “Katie Moore.”

I gave him a look. “Who the fuck is that and why should I give a fuck?”

Jama narrowed his eyes at me before confusion spread onto his face. “Do you not know Katie?”

I slowly shook my head. “Should I?”

“Well considering… Uh… You know…”

“Know what?” I asked.

“You… With… You know…”

“Jama, what are you trying to say?” I tapped my foot against the ground impatiently.

“Twist showed me that TMZ article. Isn’t she pregnant with your baby or something?” he questioned curiously.

I froze. What… Is that the bimbo I had sex with? It suddenly came back to me. Katie? That’s her name? Katie Moore. The article briefly mentioned that her name was Katie, but I couldn’t quite remember it until now.

“I… Umm..” I stuttered, not knowing what to say.

“Twist said you fucked her at the last party for Klutzer so I just assumed…” Jama stopped mid sentence, shutting his mouth.

I clenched and unclenched my fists.

Why would Twist tell Jama that? I thought friends were supposed to keep secrets. Didn’t he once think that maybe I don’t want people knowing this? That maybe I can tell people when I’m ready? I guess Twist likes to gossip too often. And to think I put so much of my trust on that man. It makes me wonder who else he has told this information to.

“Sorry,” Jama said, “I shouldn’t get in your business like that but… I’m sure she’d be at the party. You should talk to her, specially now that I find out you can’t even remember her name. This is a living creature she’s carrying around, you know.”

My stomach churned. I don’t want to father the child of a woman I don’t even know. I don’t want this life. I never wanted this life. What did I even do to deserve all this?

“Alright,” I sighed. “I’ll go. But just so I can talk to this Katie girl. I’ll then congratulate Khalil and be out of there.”

“You do know the party doesn’t start until like seven o’clock?” Jama said.

“Then why do you look like you’re ready to go now?”

“Because I want to get there early to hang out with a few people. We’re meeting up before the party.”

“Do you know this Katie girl personally?” I bit my lip.

“Yeah, I’ve talked to her a few times. I’ve seen her in a few of the parties I’ve been to lately,” he nodded.

“Is she nice?” I whispered.

“Umm… Yeah, actually. She’s quite the sweetheart.”

“You sure?”

“Justin,” Jama sighed, giving me another look. “Don’t stress yourself out. Just go, talk to her and work something out. She’s not a scary person, I promise. Quite easy to talk to, actually.”

I stuffed my hands into my pockets. “Is she going to be one of the people that’s going before the party even starts?”

“I think so. I’ll text Khalil to make sure. Now can you get your ass in the shower?” he scolded.

“Fine,” I mumbled, disappearing towards the bathroom.

—

[ Jackie’s POV: ]

The moon was out, the night was young and Robin and I had just finished complimenting each other on how good we both look in our dresses. After Robin grabbed her handbag with her phone and car keys inside, we exited her house and strolled over towards her vehicle. The drive there was quite short, but Robin and I spent it blasting music through the speakers and singing along to each song. I was already having fun and we haven’t even gotten to the party yet.

But the minute I found myself in front of the house, and I was able to hear the loud music even from out here, I felt butterflies in my stomach.

“You ready?” Robin smiled.

“I g-guess,” I hesitated, but it was too late to turn back once Robin had rung the doorbell.

“Oh my god, Robin! Jackie! Hi!” Sara, who had opened the door a few seconds later, squealed at us, her face smiling in content.

“Happy birthday! I’m glad you returned from Florida well,” I hugged her.

“Same,” Robin joined in on the hug. “Happy birthday, Sara!”

“Thank you so much,” Sara squeezed us tighter than I probably would have expected her to. “I’m so glad you two could make it.”

After we all pulled away, Sara let us inside and we set down our presents along with everyone else’s. Later on, Sara went to dance and Robin and I continued greeting people from our old high school.

“Ugh,” Robin sighed. “I want to dance.”

I looked over at her, blinking in confusion. “Then go dance.”

“Come with me?” she asked in a sweet voice.

“Wha—No, I don’t want to,” I immediately declined.

“Why not?” she pouted, and I stared at her, searching my mind for an excuse. Before I could come up with one, she pouted and added, “Fine. Be that way.”

She stood up and I grabbed her arm. “Wait, where are you going?”

“I’m going to find someone who’d dance with me,” she said simply, giving me a sympathetic look. “And you shouldn’t sit here by yourself, go socialize with people.”

I frowned, letting go of her. “I don’t want to socialize.”

Robin rolled her eyes. “Then go get some snacks for yourself. The food table is near the kitchen.”

And with that, she left.

For a while, I sat there stubbornly, refusing to engage in anything before my stomach began growling and that’s how I knew I had to get something to eat. I groaned to myself and stood up, making my way towards where I thought the kitchen would be. After making my way through the big crowd, I spotted the table with all the food scattered across it and I was about to reach for a plate when I suddenly bumped into someone, and I heard drops of liquid spill to the floor.

“Shit,” I muttered, looking up at the young boy. “I’m so sorry.”

He looked back at me and simply smiled, shrugging a bit. “That’s alright. It’s not like my entire drink spilled.”

He laughed so I decided to laugh along with him. I then took a good look at him and furrowed my eyebrows once I realized I don’t quite seem to remember him. “You didn’t… go to our high school, did you?”

“Nah,” he shook his head, “Do you happen to know Chris?”

I searched my brain to see if that name rang a bell. “Uhh… Yeah, actually. But I barely talked to him. I didn’t have any classes with him, that’s why.”

“Ah, that’s too bad. I’m his cousin though. That’s why I’m here,” he clarified.

“Oh, that makes sense,” I smiled. “Where is Chris anyway?”

“I have no clue, which is precisely the reason I’m where all the food is,” he grinned, and I let out a loud laugh. He smirked in success, as if his goal was to have made me laugh. “So, what’s your name?”

“Jackie,” I shyly replied, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Jackie? That’s a lovely ass name,” he bit his lip, glancing at my dress. “I’m Tyler.” He held his hand out to me and I shook hands with him. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” I smiled, and both of us said nothing for a while. We just stared at each other, our cheeks tinted red.

“So…” he chuckled awkwardly. “Want to dance?”

I gave a shy nod, despite the fact that a few minutes ago, I didn’t even feel like dancing. But now? Now I have a reason to.

[ Justin’s POV: ]

Instead of going early, like Jama had wanted to, we ended up going to the party at around 7 in the night. This Katie girl wasn’t going to show up until then, so I told him I didn’t want to go early.

“So you don’t know this girl?” Jama asked, trying to make conversation as we drove towards the party.

“No,” I curtly replied, playing with my thumbs and shaking my leg impatiently. He scoffed and handed me his blunt of weed. I slowly took it from his hand and took a drag, puffing out smoke into the air and relaxing my shoulders. I took three more drags before passing it back to him.

Jama raised the cigar to his lips and turned on the radio. I closed my eyes for a few seconds before opening them back up and leaning towards the radio. I shut it off without saying a single word. Jama glanced at me in confusion, but he didn’t bother to ask why I just did what I did. He just kept his mouth shut.

A few minutes later, when Jama began to park the car in front of Khalil’s house, I put on my sunglasses and fixed the snapback on my head.

We both dismounted from the vehicle and walked side to side towards the door. I rang the doorbell and stuffed my hands into the pockets of my jeans before Klutzer opened the door.

“Aye Jama! Canuck! What’s hatnin’?” he smirked, and I snorted.

“I see what you did there.” Shooting him a grin, I stepped inside the house and looked around. There were already quite a lot of people in here, but I couldn’t find who I was looking for.

“Are you already going to start looking for her?” I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and saw Jama staring down at me.

“It’s the only reason I’m here,” I whispered, glancing at the ground. Jama sighed and began to scan the place too, trying to see if Katie was here.

“Well I’m going to go greet my homies, if I see her I’ll give you a call, okay?” he said.

“Aight,” I nodded, and we did a handshake before he left. I began roaming the place, trying not to get noticed by many people since I didn’t want to engage into conversation. After a couple of minutes, I couldn’t find her so I stopped and tried to get a general view of everyone before a voice behind me snapped me out of focus.

“Is that you, Bizzle?”

I froze. I know that voice.

Turning around, I saw Maejor Ali standing in front of me, a grin on his face.

“Ali?” I smiled wide, “I haven’t seen you in ten thousand years!”

“Now that’s a little exaggeration, dont’cha think?” he laughed. I ignored his remark and embraced him into a bro hug.

“It’s nice to hear my old nickname. Everyone around here calls me fucking Canuck,” I rolled my eyes.

“That’s because you’re Canadian, nigga,” he nudged my shoulder.

I glared at him before laughing. “It’s so good to see you.”

“I know, I was starting to miss my home boy,” he pouted teasingly. “We should hang out sometime.”

“I really want to, bro, but I’m going on tour,” I sighed.

“Starting when?”

“Starting tomorrow.”

“So you’re spending the eve of your tour by partying?” he raised an eyebrow.

I opened my mouth to say something but then decided otherwise. Ali noticed my sudden silence and he gave me a look.

“We’re indoors…” he commented randomly. I looked at him in confusion.

“And…?”

“What’s with the sunglasses?”

“I—” before I could finish my sentence, Ali snatched the sunglasses from my face and looked at me. My eyes widened and I began trying to grab my sunglasses back.

“Are you high?” he asked in concern, holding me back while I tried reaching his hand.

“Give me my fucking sunglasses back,” I yelled at him, and he raised his hands up in defense before handing them back to me. I put them back on and Ali scoffed.

“I just don’t think you should be getting high and all. Aren’t you starting a tour tomorrow?”

“Can you shut the fuck up?” I spat, annoyed. I didn’t like it when people tried to tell me what was best for me.

Ali gave me a sad look and sighed. “Alright, man. Whatever you say…”

I was about to reply to him when, all of a sudden, I spotted a familiar blonde slowly walking down the staircase. I paused, completely disregarding Maejor Ali’s presence as I stared at the girl. She was looking around the place, and when she looked towards the side of the room I was on, I could clearly see her face.

How could I ever forget her face?

“I have to go,” I blurted out, causing Ali to give me a confused look.

“What? Where? I thought—”

“—I’ll text you later, bro,” I cut him off, before disappearing into the crowd and pushing through, trying to go towards the staircase. Once I reached the bottom of it, I saw Katie Moore standing four steps in front of me, her eyes locked on mine. Her mouth gaped open and she looked like she was in shock to see me.

I didn’t really know what to feel. This girl’s carrying my child. I don’t even know her, but she is. However, she exploited it to the media. How else would TMZ know unless she told her all the details? Why would she give me away like that? Why make me look bad?

“J-Justin?” she stuttered.

I sucked in a breath of air and looked straight at her. “I’ve been meaning to see you.”

************************

Dun, dun DUUUNNNN!

#itsgettingreal

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter (hehehe).

And another really quick (and late) happy birthday to the amazing Jesse! You’re an amazing friend and you always support me in everything I do. Basically, you’re the shit yo. (That’s me trying to sound gansta ‘cause Jesse needs to pull up his pants).

And another thank you to you guys, the readers. I really enjoy writing for you all every week just as much as you all enjoy reading :)

I love every single one of you <3

- Nina xx