~ Chapter 19: Quite A Large Mess  ~

[ Jackie’s POV: ]

I was laying in my bed in fetal position, the covers pulled right above my head and my eyes remained closed.

I’m pretty sure everyone thinks I’m dead.

I haven’t gotten out of my room for days and I’m starving. I literally feel like I’m not just in my regular, teenage girl bed. No. I’m on my death bed. I had shut my windows, closed the curtains, locked the door and avoided contact with anyone. My dad’s on a business trip and so is my mom—which means they’re going to want to check up on me except there’s one problem… I don’t pick up my phone.

I’m pretty sure Robin has tried finding ways to sneak inside the house but failed because I’m too smart for her. When I don’t want to talk to anyone… I don’t want to talk to anyone. 

I’ve also ran out of tears to shed, considering I haven’t gotten water into my system in quite some time. I feel like I’m slowly dying, but the pain in my heart is much more intense than anything I’ve ever felt in my life. What hurts me the most is that I haven’t heard from Justin at all and I’m pretty sure he’s forgotten me already.

What’s so damn special about me anyway? Nothing. There’s nothing special about me so why would Justin even think of me ever again? I’m not worth it. It’d be a waste of his time. Specially when he got back with the girl who shattered his heart so badly, he lost track of himself.

But I’m still just plain old Jackie Miller…

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[ Robin’s POV: ]

With tears blurring my vision, I crossed my fingers, scrolling down my contacts with the other hand. Reaching the J section, I let out a breath of relief when I saw the name Justin Bieber etched onto the screen. For a second there, I was afraid that I had forgotten to write down Justin’s number.

I’m really, really, really concerned for Jackie. She must be dying of both hunger and thirst and there’s nothing I can do or say to make her come out of her room. She’s really heartbroken—specially after reading the article that Justin and Alicia may be back together. I’m scared that she’s thought of suicide and the multiple ways to do it. I just couldn’t sit around and do nothing while my best friend is literally killing herself. So as much as I don’t want to speak to the person responsible for all this… Sadly, he’s the only one that can fix this mess he’s made.

With my hands shaking, I pressed the ‘call’ button and leveled the phone to my ear. I bit my lip, uneasy about getting ready to scold my best friend’s idol. But how dare he leads Jackie on like this only to break her heart? How dare he crawls back to his ex as if Jackie meant nothing to him? Even if she really did mean nothing to him, he could’ve done us all a favor and not have gotten involved with her in the first place. This is not the Justin Bieber that Jackie loves. I promise you, it’s not.

“H-Hello?” that familiar, husky voice rang in my ears.

“Justin…” I breathed, butterflies swarming my stomach. What the hell am I supposed to say? How do I even begin to tell him why I had called?

“Who is this?” he asked, clearing his throat. My heart sank a little. He forgot me too?

“Robin… Uh, Robin Brooks,” I said, only to hear silence in the other line. The air began to suffocate me and, not being able to take the silence any longer, I added, “I’m Jackie’s best friend.”

I heard Justin’s unsteady breathing and there was shuffling in the background.

“Oh..” he spoke softly. “Hey. How are things?”

My left hand formed a tight fist, anger bubbling inside my body. “How are things? How are things?! Do you want to know how the fuck things are?!” I yelled, taking him aback for a second.

“Whoa, whoa, calm down, I—”

“—SHUT the fuck up,” I growled lowly. “You have no right to act as if everything is just handy dandy and the world is all flowers and unicorns and—NO. It’s NOT okay. Listen, Justin… Instead of answering you how things are around here, tell me… How’s Alicia?” It felt as if venom was seeping through my teeth because the rage I felt for him right now was indescribable.

“Umm—”

“WRONG answer. Do you remember Jackie? Huh? Does that name ring a bell? No? How about I remind you? The girl who dedicated her heart to lifting yours out of the dark. Through all the fucking negativity you’ve been put under, all Jackie sees is the amazing person you really are. How do you repay her, Justin? How? You break her heart so badly that she’s killing herself? You fucking asshole.”

There was a sudden gasp from his end of the call. I paused, my anger subsiding slightly, though I could go on and on about what he did.

“Is she okay?” he whispered quietly, scared that if he spoke any louder, he would never hear from Jackie ever again.

“Honestly? I don’t know! She locked herself in her room and hasn’t eaten anything since god-knows-when. She’s starving herself to death, alright? Because of YOU!”

I stopped, letting myself calm down before listening attentively to Justin’s next words—if he even spoke any.

But he didn’t say anything. There was soft gasping that rang intensely in my ears and, the minute I figured out he was crying, my heart plummeted to the ground.

“Justin…” I gulped, a feeling of guilt striking me hard in the gut. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I-I just needed to do something because my best friend doesn’t even realize the harm she’s doing to herself and I feel so powerless and useless and I just—… I just—…”

Now we were both crying, shedding tears for the harm we have inflicted on one another. Neither of us meant for this to go the way it did, but the fact that it’s still happening… Well, that’s a different story.

“Robin, I’m the one who should be apologizing,” Justin sobbed softly. “I swear, I didn’t mean any harm. I actually thought I was preventing her harm. Harm from the media—harm from anyone. This is all my fault. I never should’ve… I just…”

“—Just do me a favor,” I sighed, wiping tears from my face.

“Anything,” he said. “I promise.”

“Try to talk to her. At least get her to eat something—anything. I just can’t lose her and… She can’t torture herself like this. It’s just not right.”

“I made quite a large mess, Robin,” Justin chuckled bitterly. “But I can’t leave it lying around… I have to fix it.”

“I’m afraid you’re the only one that can…”

[ Justin’s POV: ]

My heart felt as if it were swelling up as I sat on the floor, staring at the wall. Alfredo’s still mad at me, so I don’t even know if he’d help me. I don’t know what to do. I need to help Jackie, but… What about Alicia? I’ve worked so hard to earn back her love… What’s going to happen to it?

But I didn’t mean to ruin Jackie. I didn’t mean for what’s happening to her, to happen. I never mean any harm in my life but, in the end, someone always gets hurt. It’s just the way it has always worked around here.

“Justin.”

My heart nearly jumped out of my chest at the sudden call of my name. Startled, I leaned on the floor and looked up to see Scooter standing by the doorframe.

“What are you doing?” he simply asked, a flash of concern running through his eyes.

“Nothing,” I muttered, standing up on my own two feet. “What’s wrong?”

“What makes you think there’s something’s wrong?”

I shrugged. “I guess I’m used to it. Anyway… Are you here to deliver news or something?”

Scooter leaned on the doorframe and crossed his arms. “We’re doing a few concerts here in California. Then we’ll spread out across the States for a while.”

I blinked three times. “We are?”

“Yeah.” He paused. “That okay?”

“It’s not like I can say no,” I sighed. But how the hell am I supposed to tell him I’m fighting inner demons with myself? I’m in conflict—and they all involve Jackie, Alicia, Alfredo and, in a way, even Robin.

Oh yeah. And the media. But I’m always in conflict with them.

What the hell am I supposed to do? I feel like there’s a clock ticking and if I don’t hurry up and move my ass, someone’s going to pay the price.

But where do I even begin to try and fix this mess?

“Scooter,” I said quietly.

“Yes?”

“Could you give me a moment?”

Scooter eyed me suspiciously before uncrossing his arms and slowly backing away. “Sure, I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me. Oh, and where’s Fredo?”

“Who the fuck knows?” I answered quickly, before slamming the door in his face and locking it. Swiftly turning around, I dug my hand into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out my phone. I dialed the number I knew by heart and pressed the phone to my ear.

“Hello?” a beautiful voice answered.

“Alicia?”

“Justin, hey!” There was newfound delight in her tone. “What’s going on?”

“I gotta tell you something…”

There was sudden silence and the atmosphere around the room began to get pretty awkward.

“Already?” she sighed, a tint of disappointment in her voice. “You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”

A wave of guilt rushed throughout every single inch of my body and I found myself internally choking on the only air that keeps me alive. I didn’t know what to say or how to react, so I panicked.

“W-What?” I swallowed. “What makes you say such a thing?”

I could picture Alicia biting her lip, contemplating on what I had just said. “So you’re not breaking up with me?”

“I just got you back,” I mumbled. “Why… Why would I lose you again?”

“I don’t know why you would, honestly…” she spoke slowly. “But just know that I love you. I still love you. The exact same way that you still love me.”

I forced a laugh. “I guess…”

What the fuck am I doing?

I’m digging myself trouble deeper and deeper and soon, I’ll just be lost. I’m building myself a maze I don’t even know the way around with. So why am I doing this to myself?

God only knows.

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Looks like Justin is having some internal struggles…

Weeeell anywaaayy, what’d you guys think of the chapter?

Poor Jackie ;(

Oh, and make sure you read the prologue to my new book coming on Christmas. The prologue’s out tomorrow and it’s called “Oh God, Why?!” You can find it on my profile if you wanna see what it’s like :)

Love you guys!

- Nina xx