TW (trigger warning): There are mature themes here that might trigger the reader. There are thoughts of suicide and a semi-graphic description of suicide. There are also swear words used here. So if you don't like any of that stuff or would be triggered by it, I would recommend not reading this. I'm sorry. (I have another Nico fanfic that only has slight swearing in it. You can look at that, it's not completed yet though.) Please enjoy the story to the best of your ability. 

No... No no no. It can't be this again. No... I think. Dark brown skull-like figures litter the ground; so much so that it might be the ground. But I can't be sure. I might just fall through it, sinking deeper and deeper until I can't even see anything but this. Maybe... just maybe it'll- no! Don't think like that Nico. You'll be fine. Just fine... Well, as fine as you can be in this situation. Squeezing my eyes shut, I repeat the only words that'll get me through this. "You will be okay."

I open my eyes when I feel ready to face this cruel world again. That might have been a few minutes, or a few hours. I can never tell. Not anymore. I stand up from the small ball I was in. When did that happen? I never remember crouching down doing that... but then again everything before has blurred together too.

Taking a shaky breath, I look up at the landscape and cringe in fear. "Nico." I whisper to myself, closing my eyes, "You can do this. You will be okay." You will be okay. Alright. Opening my eyes to the horrid landscape again, I take a deep breath and start walking in the direction of, what I think is, towards my goal. Small crunching sounds from the skull-like ground came with every step, each growing more and more familiar to me with each second. Angry orangish-red fire blazed around me, giving me instantaneous blisters. Slowly each step grew more and more painful. Damn blisters, why do you have to be like this? I think. I almost wanted to give up, to just sit down and rest, but I knew it wasn't an option. But maybe, just maybe I could? No. it wouldn't be safe. Plus you have to keep moving forward. You can't take a break now. Taking a tired step forward, I fall. It's like falling off a cliff, but not really. I fall into the black abyss that suddenly was changed from the previous scene. How? My brain starts to question. No, no time for that. I have to figure this out. I have to escape this darkness.

"Ufff." I land hard on my back. Cool dark as night flooring hit me. How did I not- no, focus on the situation Nico. I forcefully think. I need to get out of here. Struggling my way up, I stand. Everything around me was black, like an abyss. Like a void. "Shit, where am I?"

Suddenly, as if the place responded to me, a white light came on in the distance. A white pure light. I should go to it. Is all I could think about. I should- no have to. Stumbling with the first steps, I make my way towards the light, my eyes transfixed in it's spot. It can't disappear, no will not disappear. I will get there, to the light, no matter what. I grit my teeth in determination at the thought.

I slowly walk closer and closer to the white light, a little slower than I want. But closer all the same. By the time I'm in arms reach of the light, I couldn't help but to think optimistically. Maybe I'll be okay. Maybe I'll be safe. I smile a little at the thought.

"Oh poor Nico. You'll never be able to reach the light." The light disappears right in front of me. My small smile is replaced by shock.

"Wh-What do you mean?" I stutter.

"You're not like them." Sudden images of Percy, Annabeth, the seven, and others fill my head. My eyes go wide as I stumble back a few steps. I hear myself whispering no over and over again. "You will never be like them." I can almost feel that the voice would be smiling by now. Smiling at me and my shock. I boiled with anger at that.

"No." my voice is filled with rage and resentment, "I will be like them. I will be... I will not be like this."

"Oh no, little Nico. You won't." Then, as if it leaned in and whispered in my ear, "You're too broken to be remotely similar to them." I stumble back from the words, my eyes staring ahead of me in shock. Water filled my eyes.

"I...I-" I am at a loss for words. The voice started cackling at me. It sounds almost... happy? My body stiffens in rage at the voice. I just wanted to... I just wanted it to stop... I just wanted to... kill it. I smirk at that thought, killing this voice. That would be enjoyable.

Suddenly able to move, I pull out my Stygian Iron sword that rests on my back and launch myself towards the void, hoping to find the voice's body. The cackling stopped, and the voice eerily said, "You will be broken, and it will crush everyone around you." Then, before my eyes, everything changes as I hit the ground, not getting near the voice. I looked up at the new scene and stumbled back in shock and fear.

In front of me was a scene of camp. The seven, Percy, Annabeth, Jason, Piper, Leo, Frank, and Hazel, along with Grover, Reyna, Coach Hedge, and Will. They all stared at me, judging. Scowls were on some of their faces, scowls in disgust. I just want to... run away. Away from this and everyone. I- I can't face them. Turning away from my friends, the tears that welled up in my eyes started to fall.

Drip. Drop. Drip.

I fell to the floor and sobbed. I can't... I just... I... My hands gripped the smooth floor as I closed my eyes as tears streamed down my face.

I took a shaky breath and opened my eyes. I was in the Hades cabin, cabin thirteen. The black blinds were closed, but I can see the bright light of the sun behind it. It must be noon or something, I sighed. The drea- no, nightmare filled my head; tears sprung to my eyes. I... I can't do this. My friends, that voice's words, Taur- that horrid place. I just can't deal with it all. I want to... leave. Leave it all.

Climbing out of bed, the next few minutes passed in a blur as I thought about my nightmare. I got dressed in a black skull shirt and long jeans. I felt myself pull on my black combat boots and avatar jacket. I brushed my teeth and felt a brush go through my hair. I stared at myself in the mirror. I can't... My hand curled up into a fist and punched the glass. It shattered, breaking away from the impact I made. I stared down at the broken glass, my brain barely registering that it's broken. I hate myself. I would never be like the others. I'll never be... I'll never be fixed. I thought to myself. I should just...

I found myself absently walking out of my cabin, finding no one around. It must be breakfast time. My legs brought me to the lake, and I stared down into the black abyss. The soft wind blew across the water, blowing my hair slightly. The next thing that happened I didn't even realize did. I felt something around my ankles as I looked down at the water. Finally... I thought as I looked down at the water.

I can be free.

I felt the weight sink deeper and deeper as I fell. Drowned. I exhaled a breath as water filled my lungs. I can... I can be free. Black spots filled my vision as I saw the surface of the water. No one was there. I am truly alone. The thought stunned me as I looked up at the surface. The black spots deepened and I happily let it consume me.

I'm finally free.

... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...

~ Luna