Chapter Three

Many people here have tried talking to me. I try my best to listen, but eventually, their voice just begins to sound like the clicks from the insects in the 11 o'clock zone in the arena. I have to walk away before I begin to scream. I feel bad when I cut someone off or when I don't respond, but there's nothing else I can think to do.

As I walk away from a conversation, like usual, a hand grabs my shoulder and pulls me to a stop. "Peeta, you are wanted in Command. This is not an option." He says.

Boggs. He's known around here as President Coin's right hand man, at least, that's how I see him. He's always at her side and is quick to defend her during any quarrels in Command. As much as I want to trust him, I feel like I can't trust anyone from here.

"What are we going to discuss this time? How worthless I've been so far?" I ask, my voice coming out cold and hard.

He takes a deep breath, his blue eyes studying me. Boggs can't be much over 40. His hair is clean cut, reminding me of the haircuts given to the Peacekeepers or anyone going off to war. When Boggs isn't with Coin, I've seen him in occasion holding a young boy. But, that's rare.

"You haven't been worthless. We're still trying to work everything out," he says. "And we won't be discussing any plans. There's something you need to see."

"Well, that's a first," I say, making him slightly smile. He turns on his heels and waves for me to follow. Having nothing else to do, I jog to his side and walk with him.

We hop into an elevator that reminds me of the ones in the Capitol, only these are nothing in comparison. The ones in the Capitol were fast and appealing to the eye. These ones make me think of the elevators that take our miners deep into the earth. Whenever we went on the trips to the mines in school, I always got extremely sick. But I couldn't let anyone else know but Delly. So I just sucked it up and went along with the school. I've never liked the idea of so much weight above you, able to crush you at any moment.

My chest begins to burn and my breathing quickens. My stomach is flipping and I hold in the urge to scream. I repeatedly tell myself over and over again that I'm totally fine, but the room seems to get smaller and smaller. I pull my arms against my body and feel myself trembling.

I probably look like a coward.

But if I do, Boggs doesn't say so. He stares forward, watching levels float past us as we go farther down until it stops. The door opens and I basically run out. Once I'm out, I take slow deep breaths, trying to calm my rapid heartbeat.

Boggs ignores me again, continuing on our mission to Command. I catch up to him, trying to understand how to feel about him. "Claustrophobic?" He suddenly asks, making me jump.

"If that means extremely uncomfortable in elevators, then yes," I say, making him smile again.

"Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." He says before opening the door.

I decide that I like Boggs and to trust him.

Even if he's so close to Coin.

We went inside the room, a bunch of people gathered around a television screen. It's much fancier than the ones back at home but not as elaborate as the ones in the Capitol. All of their eyes turn and land on us. I scan for Haymitch, but I don't spot him.

"Peeta, you're just in time," Johanna says. "I saved you a spot." She grins, patting a seat beside her. I give her a soft smile then sit beside her.

Gale is on the other side of me and we're not much for words, so we just nod our heads. It's enough so that we each other understand that we acknowledge each other's presence. This way there's no hard feelings, though I know Gale must have some about me. After all, they chose me over Katniss.

As everyone was staring at the reporter on the screen, who I recognize from the Capitol since Katniss forced us to watch it back in Twelve, I leaned towards Johanna. "What are we doing?" I ask, trying to keep my voice low.

"I'm not sure. Coin and her band of sheep won't tell us anything. All I know is that there's some special report with Caesar." She whispers back.

"Special report?" I ask.

She nods her head, rolling her brown eyes. "Yeah. They're probably going to interview some victor, like Enobaria." She explains. She then pretends to gag as she points down her throat.

She's shushed as Caesar appears on the screen. He rambles on, saying things I can't quite catch until I'm in awe of her. "Katniss." I sigh, standing up.

It's like I'm in a dream as I see her sitting there a few feet away from Caesar. "You're okay. You're alive." I say as I reach out to the screen. I rest my fingers against her, almost as if I could really touch her. Her dark hair is braided in her signature look. Her gray eyes seem nervous. At least she's alive.

"Thank you, Caesar. It's a pleasure to be here." Katniss replies, her voice slightly shaking. The note cards slightly tremble in her hands. Nerves. Katniss has never been great in front of a camera, especially without me there.

"I first want to talk about the arena," Caesar says after throwing some comments back and forth to each other. "What was going through your mind in those final minutes?"

Katniss takes a deep breath, harshly biting on her lower lip. "Everything was a mess. I'm still only piecing everything back together."

"Let's start at the beginning then," Caesar says. "Back at the tree, when Beetee separated Peeta and you. What was going through your mind?"

"That I had to find some way to keep him by my side. Peeta and I had made a plan to split from the alliance once Beetee's plan was carried out. But time was running out and if Johanna and I didn't hurry then we would surely be electrocuted."

"So you kissed him goodbye and promised to meet him again." Caesar interrupts, trying to help her be descriptive.

"Yes. In the back of my mind, I hoped that we would meet again, but as you can tell, that never happened." She says, her eyes falling to the cards that she had begun to bend back and forth.

"Then as you were taking the wire to the water, it was cut and then Johanna smashes the cylinder to the side of your head, dazing you. What happened next?"

"I thought she was trying to kill me," Katniss says. "And I heard cannons fire and I freaked out, thinking one of those could be for Peeta. Until I heard his voice calling out to me."

"So you called out back to him," Caesar softly sighs. "I get chills every time I watch you looking for him."

"I was so afraid. Peeta was in danger. I thought Johanna and Finnick were trying to kill us. I thought they were going to kill him before I could reach him."

"Then you found Beetee and the knife laying beside him," Caesar says. "What were you thinking about when you hooked that into your bow and aimed at the force field?"

"I don't really know. I thought that maybe Beetee changed his mind and wanted to electrocute the force field in hopes of shocking our enemies. I didn't make sense to me, but neither did the plan to begin with. I thought that was what Beetee wanted."

"And it was. After all, that's how Peeta, Johanna, and Beetee were taken by the rebels. You had fallen right into their trap." Caesar says. Suddenly, Katniss narrowed her eyebrows.

"I did not fall into some trap." She says, clearly offended.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that," Caesar apologizes. "I just meant that they got you to do what they wanted. This way the rebels could take your love away from you."

"You just said the same thing again. I did not fall for some trap. Nobody knew what was going on besides Beetee." She spits.

Caesar apologizes again, then took a long pause, maybe waiting for her to forgive him. But Katniss would never, especially not now. "Now, I know this might be a difficult subject, but I want to talk about Peeta." He says. At my name, her expression shifts. Fear? Sadness? Anger? I can't possibly tell.

"What do you want to know?" She asks, her shoulders tensing. I have seen this in her many times before. When she volunteered for Prim. When she guarded me in the cave. When she stood up for Gale at the whipping post. She's going into her protective mode.

"Well, Peeta was captured by the rebels. Did he ever mention to you anything about a rebel plan? I mean, he must have had some part, surely." Caesar says.

"No. He would have told me. We don't keep secrets from each other." She immediately says, shaking her head. And we haven't, at least since District Eleven.

"Are you sure? Is there a possibility that maybe this was the one secret he chose to keep to himself?"

"Peeta has nothing to do with the rebellion." She continues to deny, her voice harder.

"What about Haymitch? How do you feel about him siding with the rebels?"

Katniss's eyes dart to the floor. Her cheeks turn a light pink. "I don't know. All I know is that I was lied to and played for a fool." She mumbles.

"Now, Katniss," Caesar says, trying to coax her to look at her again. "I was going to ask you about what you're feeling on the rebellion, but you seem too upset."

Suddenly, her mode changes again. Fear replaces the anger that was growing in her gray eyes. "No. I'm not too upset. I can talk." She offers.

"That's good. I'm sure many of the viewers watching from their home are all wondering the same thing, so I will ask for all of us. How do you feel about having a rebellion between the districts and the Capitol?" Caesar asks.

She turns to face the camera, but her eyes stay focused on the cards in her trembling hands. "Our numbers are limited. The idea of a rebellion is very foolish. If we were to ever fight, what would be left afterward? The answer is nothing. We need to rethink this and see that the only option is to lay down all weapons. Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever." She finishes. I feel as if she's right next to me as she looks up into my eyes.

"Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever." Katniss finishes in District Four. We look out into the crowd seeing the angry looks from the citizens. They know as well as us that our message has been written by the Capitol.

"Katniss, are you calling for a cease-fire?" Caesar asks, furrowing his blue eyebrows. 

"Yes, Caesar. That is the only option if we want to save ourselves." She answers. People around me begin whispering to themselves, talking about what Katniss could possibly be doing the rebellion.

"Is there anything else you'd like to say?" He asks.

"Peeta," she begins, her gray eyes staring at me. "I don't know if you can see this, but please don't do anything stupid. There's a lot at stake here. Please, consider what is happening in the districts and here in the Capitol."

Caesar reaches out, resting his hand on Katniss's. "You still love him, don't you?"

Katniss nods her head, her face turning a light pink. "I'll love him till life as we know it ends."

"Thank you for bravely speaking today," Caesar painfully smiles. He looks back at the camera. "That's it for now. Thank you for watching."

The screen goes black and I notice the tear softly rolling down my right cheek. Before anyone can see, I wipe it off. I know better than anyone that all of that was an act. Her telling everyone cease-fire to her saying she would love me till life ends. All an act to save me.

"It's a good thing we rescued you, Peeta," Fulvia says, resting her hands on my shoulders. I stare at the tattoos of flowers on her cheeks. "Turns out Katniss is actually a traitor to the rebellion. She's clearly with the Capitol."

Before I can respond, Gale flips around. "Katniss is not a traitor and she's not with the Capitol. Can't you see all of that was some act? A response clearly designed by the Capitol itself?"

"We don't know that," Fulvia responds.

"Yes, we do. I know Katniss. She doesn't agree with the Capitol and she would never say those things." Gale defends, anger clear in his gray eyes. His face turns a bright pink in frustration.

"What do you think, Peeta? Is this some trick by the Capitol?" Fulvia asks. Suddenly, everyone turns, their eyes landing on me.

"That wasn't something Katniss would ever say," I slowly say. "Katniss would never ask for a cease-fire or say that stuff about Panem. During the Victory Tour, that was a common ending in our speeches. It's clearly her sign to me that she's being forced into saying those things." I don't bother mentioning about her lying about loving me.

"Then why would she say that?" A district Thirteen soldier asks.

"To protect Peeta," Gale immediately answers, looking at me. "Katniss must think Peeta is in danger if he was to ever return to the Capitol."

I gulp, suddenly feeling hot. I don't want her to do that. I've never asked for her to do that. "What Gales said. Katniss only said those things to protect me." I agree.

"That's still only a theory. For now, we'll have to go with what she's said. She's asking for a cease-fire." President Coin says. I lean around a soldier, getting a good look at her. I've seen her many times. Her gray hair stopping evenly above her shoulders and her hard gold eyes. This is the first time I've heard her talk though.

"But that's not-"

"Quiet, soldier Hawthorne." She interrupts, holding up a hand. Immediately, Gale closes his mouth. "We have to believe what she has said and that is that."

"Yes, ma'am." Gale agrees, his jaw clenching tightly.

I've never seen Gale back down like that, especially when it comes to Katniss.

Gale must know what I know then. That whatever is going down here is not something to mess with. You don't want to get on the bad side of President Coin.

Unfortunately, I already think I'm there.

"Everyone is dismissed." She says, waving towards the door. Without complaining, all of us exit the room.

But once I reach the surface with the others, word of Katniss's interview has already begun to spread like wildfire. Of course, everyone believes she's a traitor. They think she's sided with the Capitol while I've sided with the rebels.

They've pinned us against each other.

Even though I should be afraid of what is to come from her statements, I can't help but to grin like a fool. I had thought for sure that once President Snow got his hands on her he would kill her in the worst way possible. Maybe even make her execution public to play on repeat for years to come.

Instead, for some crazy, unknown reason, he's kept her alive.

So I rush to my room and grab my small handful of onion buds and bring them to my nose. I close my eyes and take a deep breath and think of her. Her gray eyes and dark hair. Her scowls and her terribly bad lies. "You're alive," I whisper as if she can hear me. "And I'm okay. There's no need to protect me."

Suddenly, I think about what is happening here instead of the Capitol.

"But I'll protect you here," I add. "It seems you've caused a real mess for yourself. But you'll be safe if it's the last thing I do."

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