*this photo has nothing to do with the people in the chapter, but I love it anyway*

After a restless night, I ended up staying awake at 7:45 after the nurse woke me up the last time. It didn't seem worth it to try to fall asleep for another restless hour.

    She brought me breakfast, which was just cereal, but I ate it anyway. Sammi was still asleep next to me. She stayed here all night with me. Luke and Sarah texted me this morning to check up on me, so I sent a quick reply to let them know I was fine, but knew Sammi would text everyone later with more information when she woke up.

    While I eat my breakfast, I think about Ashton. I shouldn't have said those things to him last night. I wouldn't blame him if he never forgave me for what I said.

    I knew he loved me, that's the crazy part. You'd have to be an idiot to not know how much he cared for me. I just wanted to upset him, and I got what I wanted, but I didn't think  this would happen. I thought it would get him to talk to me; I was scared, I didn't know what to do, he kept leaving. I didn't want him to go.

    And now he was gone. Forever.

    One tear falls down my face and I quickly wipe it away.

    About an hour later, a doctor and another nurse, different than the one who'd been checking up on me all night, walked into the room. The doctor was holding a file.

    "Good morning, Viola."

    "Hi."

    Sammi stirs next to me and I shake her awake. She groans and sits up, eyes focusing on the doctor once she realizes what's happening.

    "I'm the day shift doctor, Dr Deluca. How are you feeling this morning?"

    "I'm okay. My ankle hurts a bit, but my head feels much better."

    "Good, I'm glad." He sits down in a chair next to my bed and opens the file. The nurse walks over to my monitor and adjusts some things before standing behind the doctor."So we've got the results for your CT scan. You have a concussion, so you're going to need to monitor sleep for the next two weeks, but we're going to send you home later today."

    "That's great!" Sammi cheered. I just nodded. I didn't really care.

    The doctor explained some more things about how to take care of me, but I checked out. Sammi noticed and paid attention for me, since I couldn't care less.

    "We're going to get you a boot for your foot, and some crutches. We want to monitor your eating today to make sure you aren't sick from of the concussion, but we'll send you and your friend home with some information on how best to care for you."

    "Thank you, doctor, that's great."

    He nods and hands the nurse the file. The two of them exit, and the nurse comes back in.

    "Could you sit up for me, please? I'm going to try putting this boot on."

    She helps me up and situates the heavy boot on my foot. It feels kind of strange, but it was fine.

    "I'm going to get your crutches, I'll be back in a bit."

    She gets up and as she gets to the door, another nurse runs by shouting about a code. The nurse runs after her down the hallway. I'm guessing it's going to be a while.

    Sammi groans and stretches before getting off the bed.

    "I'm going to get some coffee downstairs at the cafe, do you need anything?"

    I shake my head, lying back down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

    If I'd let him leave the first time, would we still be together?

    "Vi, please stop beating yourself up about all this. It's going to work out in the end, okay? You and Ashton got into a fight, every couple gets into arguments."

    I shake my head.    

    "I said some truly awful things to him, Sammi. I don't deserve to have him speak to me again."

    "Hey." She walks over to me and looks right in my eyes. "I don't know what happened, but I know that boy loves you more than anything. He's not going to let a couple angry words said in the heat of the moment break you up. You guys are stronger than that. After you both cool down a little, you can talk it out. You can get through this." She patted my cheek and smiled at me, then left the room.

    I sighed deeply, rolling over so I was facing the hospital door. I just wanted to go home and sleep forever.

    Someone walks in with crutches and I sit up, not really looking at him. I expect him to start talking like all the other nurses and aides do, but he sets them down at the edge of the bed and stands there.

    "Thanks." I say, looking up at him. He stares right into my eyes, keeping eye contact for a moment before nodding harshly. His hair is jet black, his eyes are a dark brown and smoldering with some sort of emotion I can't place. He wears the blue hospital scrubs, but something about him makes me feel on edge. He starts backing out of the room, his eyes continually staring intensely at me. He seemed familiar.

    He faces me as he backs out of the room, and before I have time to think about it, Sammi walks back in.

    "I forgot my wallet in my bag." She rolls her eyes at herself, grabbing it quickly before smiling at me and leaving again. The man is gone without a trace.

    I'm left alone until Sammi gets back ten minutes later. I'm honestly trying not to think about anything. Life just seems so hopeless right now. I don't have Ashton, what point is there?

    "Okay, here's your crutches and the doc is going to come back with your discharge papers." The nurse says as she comes back in half an hour later.

    "I already have crutches," I point at them, resting against the edge of my bed.

    She furrows her brow.

    "Oh." She looks at them, then at the crutches in her hand before shaking her head and shrugging. "I guess I must have asked someone to bring them in. I probably forgot."

    That reminds me of that weird encounter I had with the tech who brought the crutches in. Instantly, my heart stops as I realize something.

    It was the same guy who's been watching me. He was here. In the hospital.

    It's confirmed. There has been someone following me, and he's here. I feel like I can't breathe. This is the first time I've seen him, actually seen him.

    "Viola, your heart rate is going up, what's wrong?" The nurse walks over to the monitors and starts checking things.

    I shake my head, trembling in fear. I can't believe this is actually real. I don't want it to be real. I don't want this anymore. Why is this happening?

    "Vi, hey!" I open my eyes and see Sammi in front of me, petting my head and speaking soothingly. "Hey, there you are. It's me, okay? You're here, with me, I got you." I launch myself into her arms, not caring about the wires that pull as I move forward. She sits up so she can hold me.

    "Sammi,"

    "It's okay, Vi. We'll talk to Ashton later and you two can sort it out, okay? I know it's hard, but we'll get through this together."

    That's what she thinks it's about? I'll let her. It's not like I can tell her what the real problem is.

    Eventually I calm down and she lets me go.

    "Are you okay?" The nurse asks. I wipe my eyes and nod. "Your head feels okay?"

    She does one last assessment on me and I pass so she unhooks me from all the monitors. The doctor comes in with the papers, and I sign them and Sammi and I are able to leave, finally.

    When I'm in the car, Sammi asks me to text Luke and Sarah and let them know we'll be home in 20 minutes. I do as she asks, also texting Niall, Louis, and Harry to let them know what's going on. I feel like they deserve to know after everything that happened.

    The radio is playing softly in the background, and suddenly when a cute love song "Adore You" comes on the radio, Sammi tenses up and quickly switches the station. I try to recognize the song, but I don't know it.

    "You don't like that song?"

    She sighs.

    "That was Luke and my song. I can't hear it right now...We..." She shake her head, fending off tears since she has to drive.

    "He told me what happened." I explain quietly, letting her know she doesn't need to fill me in.

    She laughs ruefully.

    "Of course he did."

    "He only did because he was explaining to me why he was at our apartment, which is where he met me in the stairwell before taking me to the hospital."

    "Oh."

    I hesitate.   

    "Can I say something? Or are you still too upset about it?"

    "I guess it depends what you're going to say," she jokes, trying and failing to keep a light tone to her voice.

    "I think you need to give him another chance. He seemed really confused about why you broke up with him. He really wasn't expecting it."

    She scoffs.

    "He starts acting all strange and then is confused when I break up with him? How does that work?"

    "Well, if you knew why he was acting weird--"

    "Wait, he told you something?" She glances at me quickly before directing her eyes to the road.

    "Yeah, but he told you, too. He nearly had a panic attack after he told you, but I calmed him down."

    One of her eyebrows quirk up  as she thinks about what I'm talking about.

    "Oh. OH!" Her grip on the steering wheel turns white. "You mean when he said...I love you...on the phone last night?"

    "Yeah," I breathe out. "It kinda slipped, but he meant it, Sammi. I'm not sure if I should be the one to tell you this, though...You should talk to him. He'll explain it all to you."

    She takes a deep breath.

    "Yeah. Yeah, maybe I will." We stop at a light and she turns to face me. "But you have to promise me you'll talk to Ashton, too."

    I shake my head.

    "That's not the deal. You and Luke had a miscommunication, a slight confusion of feelings. I was absolutely horrible to Ashton. I don't deserve to talk to him again."

    "What happened?" Sammi asks, quietly, putting her hand on my arm.

    I just shrug.

    "I said some things I shouldn't have. He got mad and walked out, and I don't blame him for not wanting to see me again."

    "Vi, couples argue. No matter what you said, I'm sure he'll forgive you."

    "That's the problem! I don't want him to forgive me. I said some bad things, he shouldn't just get over it like it meant nothing. I'm just horrible." I end in a whisper, hoping she didn't hear that.

    "Hey." Her stern voice causes me to look up at her. "I don't ever want to hear that coming from your mouth again, got it? You're my best friend on the entire earth, and you are not horrible. You're a human, and you make mistakes. Everyone does. You said some mean things to Ashton, and he left you when you needed him most. You both did some things wrong last night, but that doesn't mean you need to punish yourself for it."

    I shake my head. It does. I deserve to be hurt.

    "Do you love him?"

    "That doesn't--"

    "VI. Do you love him?"

    "Yes." I admit, pulling one of my knees to my chest and resting my head on it.

    "Then you need to fight for him. Tell him you were wrong. Tell him you're going to work at it, and he can help you. You guys are better together. I watched you two grow into amazing people with each other's help. You were closed off, all business until you met him. Now you have fun, you're the life of the party.

"He was a complete party animal, I know you heard all their ragers. Now that he's met you, he doesn't drink his nights away chasing things that have no meaning. Now he worships the ground you walk on, and he's there for his friends. You both have helped each other in ways you didn't notice. You need each other."

    I didn't realize I was crying until Sammi stopped.

    Ashton really did help me. And I helped him.

    But that doesn't mean I deserve him.

    "So when we get home, you're going to text him and I'm going to leave, I'll take Sarah with me, and we're going to give the two of you space to work things out."

    "Thanks, Sammi."

    I had no intentions of doing this. I deserved to suffer more for what I did, but it turns out I didn't have to worry. Ashton wasn't home when we got back, so Sammi's whole plan fell apart.

    "That's okay, you can still text him and let him know you want to talk." She told me as we slowly climbed the steps to get to our apartment.

    Only I didn't.

    After Sammi made dinner, she asked me if he responded and I just shrugged, a sad smile on my face. She told me he'd text back eventually.

    I didn't have that same hope.

***

Sorry it took so long for an update, I left my laptop charger at home the other day and my mom had to send it to me. I'm not a big fan of writing on my phone so I just took a little break. 

But I'm back and I'm ready to get this book goin! My poor Vi, she's so hard on herself :/ Hope you're doing well <3

~ashtonfortherwin