*hahahahah don't hate me pls*

"Come on, Viola. You should be able to do this yourself."

Daddy's sitting on the couch, reading the newspaper. I wanted a snack so I went into the kitchen and opened the pantry. I saw granola bars and cereal. The granola bars were on the shelf right in front of my face and the cereal was higher but I wanted Captain Crunch. I stood on my tippy toes trying to reach, but I just wasn't tall enough.

"Daddy, please help me. I'm too short. I'm only four." I pouted.

"Figure it out for yourself, child. I won't always be here to do everything for you." I closed my eyes, hoping he would stop there. I heard him shift positions on the couch and knew he was getting ready for another lecture. "You're too dependent on me. You're not only four, you are four. You should be able to do things like get your own snack from the cabinet. You can do things by yourself." I didn't hear him get up, but he was suddenly right next to me. He picked me up by my arm and let me dangle in the air.

"Daddy, you're hurting my arm!" I cried.

Then we were in the backyard. It was just before dinner time, but I really wanted to play outside. It was spring, so it was still warm.

"Can I climb the tree, daddy?" I asked excitedly.

He shrugged.

"Sure."

"Can you help me reach it?" I asked as I looked up at the branch that was too tall for me to get to.

His eyes narrowed, but he came over and put me on his back. Then he grabbed a branch and started climbing. I shrieked and giggled as he went higher and higher. I clutched onto his neck to keep from falling off.

"This is high enough daddy." I said. He pretended like he didn't hear me. "Daddy I want to get down." We were nearing the top of the maple tree that was probably three times the height of our two story house. I looked down and shrieked, burying my face in daddy's back. He pried me off and sat me down on a branch. I clung to it for dear life.

"D-daddy, I want to g-get down from h-here." I stuttered. He looked at me with those cold, unloving eyes and started his descent.

"Where are you going?" I cried. He wouldn't leave me up here...

He reached the bottom and tried to peer through the thick leaves at me. I could just make out the red from his shirt.

"Viola, you're six years old. You can get down from a tree by yourself. You're old enough to stop relying on me. You need to support yourself. What if something happens to me one day? You're a lousy free-loading child who won't do anything for herself and I'm sick of it!" He screamed. I heard the back door slam and I started shaking. I can't get down, I can't. It's not that I'm afraid of heights, I just can't reach the next branch. My legs aren't long enough. I'm too short!

Maybe daddy will be back soon and he'll help get me down. I think, but as the sun starts setting I doubt he's coming. My stomach growls and I realize it's probably dinner time. Daddy still hasn't come back out and I'm starting to get afraid. It's really dark and I can't see in front of me anymore.

I hear the glass door open and I sigh in relief. It's getting chilly and I want to go inside.

"Viola," he calls.

"I'm still here, daddy!" I call. I can't believe he's going to get me. Just when I started losing hope in him...I knew he was a good daddy after all.

"You haven't even tried to get down yet?!" He yelled.

Wait, what's going on? Why isn't he coming up?

"Daddy, I need you to come get me."

"Viola, we talked about this! I can't solve all your problems. Then you'll never learn."

"But I'm too little; I can't reach."

"Guess you'll have to grow, then."

"But what about dinner?" I sob. I know the tears will make him mad, but I can't help it.

"The only people who get dinner are the ones who can do things by themselves and don't rely on others to do everything for them!" He shouted and went back inside.

I stayed up there all night, and until noon the next day. Eventually I tried to jump down, and ended up falling out of the tree and breaking my arm.

"My arm! My arm!" I cried.

"Vi, wake up. Wake up baby, it's just a dream."

"Ashton!" I sit up and fall into his warm embrace. He runs his hands through my hair and rests his cheek on the top of my head.

"Shh, it's all right. Everything's all right. I've got you."

Eventually I stop crying, but Ashton keeps rocking me back and forth until I pull away.

"Bad dream?" He asks.

I just nod.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I shake my head.

He looks at me with a sympathetic look.

"It might make you feel better..." I shrug, still unconvinced so he asks, "Did something happen to your arm?" His fingers run up and down my arm, feather light touches ghosting the skin, causing me to shiver.

"N-no. In my dream I just, I fell out of the tree. I got scared when I was little and fell and broke my arm." And dad wouldn't take me to the hospital unless I could drive myself, which obviously as a six year old I couldn't. The nurse at school noticed something was wrong the next day and they got me help there.

"That's what the dream was about?" I nod my head, trying to convince myself I'm not lying to Ashton. "I'm sorry, baby. But don't worry," he snuggled against me and ran his fingers through my hair. "I've got you my love, you're safe now." I closed my eyes and took a couple deep breaths to calm down. Everything is okay, my dad isn't here anymore, I don't have to worry. I can take care of myself now.

After coming back from our trip to New York, I've been having nightmares again. I'd hoped that Ashton wouldn't notice, but when I wake up screaming it's hard not to...

We laid in bed together a couple more minutes before Ashton nudged me and got up from his bed. I ended up staying at his apartment last night after our date. It's been about a month since spring break, and we're still as close as ever. He walks into the bathroom for a minute and I swing my legs over the edge of the bed, getting up to look around for the clothes that Ashton threw across the room last night. Everything is going pretty well for us, if I can say so myself.

    "Want to go to the store and get some snacks for tonight?" Ashton peeked his head out of the bathroom door, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth.

    "Sure, but can we eat first?"

    He nods, ducking back inside before returning moments later.

    We walk out of his room and we're greeted by an empty apartment. His roommates are never here, it's really strange. Even though it's for sad reasons, Ashton is glad his room roommate ended up leaving, because it means we have our own private place to go.

    "What do you want, babe?"

    "Not cereal."

    He gasps.

    "Not the 'Ashton special'?" That's the only thing he can really make.

    "Not again, no." I bump his hip, pushing him aside so I can get to the fridge and open it up. I see eggs, ham, cheese, and peppers and decide on omelettes.

    "Omelette sound good?" I ask and he hums in reply. I grab a bowl from the cupboard and crack six eggs inside. While I make the food, Ashton makes a list of things we needed from the store.

    We took our time, just hanging around, being in each others company before heading to the store and putting the groceries away in my apartment. I had some homework to finish in the afternoon, and Ashton and I sat in my apartment until it was time to start cooking.

    We decided we needed to have another friend-get-together since we haven't hung out since break. There was about a month left of school, and we wanted to hang out before things got too crazy with finals.

    I finished my assessment and shut my laptop, heading to the kitchen to get started on the food. I decided to make fried rice and chicken stir fry. I've always liked cooking, so I figured I'd try out some new recipes on my friends.

    I took out the pots and pans and started boiling water for the rice. I took the chicken out of the fridge and started cutting it into small pieces. Once the water boiled, I added the rice to it and covered it. I started chopping the veggies for the stir fry and the rice.

    Ashton walked in the kitchen, making sure to stay out of my way. It wasn't a large room, there was a stove next to the fridge and counters that covered two of the walls. A small island stood in the middle of the room with a sink and a small area for eating at. He leaned against the island, watching.

    "Vi, the rice," I was cutting an onion on the counter under the window, my back to the stove, but I turned over my shoulder to glace at the pot to see it boiling over. I dropped the knife I was using and felt something sting my finger but I ignored it as I rushed over to save the rice. I took the lid off and pulled the pot off the burner so the overflowing water didn't extinguish the flame and waited for it to settle down before turning the heat to low and replacing it on the stove.

    "Hey, what did you do?" Ashton appears at my side, reaching across me and taking my apparently bloody hand in his large ones. He twists my fingers until he locates the source of the blood. "Be more careful, will you?" Keeping his hold on my wrist, he brings me to the bathroom and sets about looking for the first aid kit.

    "I can take care of myself, you know." I step in front of him and open the drawer he hadn't gotten to yet and take out a box of bandaids. I turn the water on and stick my hand under it, letting the warm water wash my hand.

    "You weren't being careful Vi, and you got hurt." He growls, opening the box and taking a bandaid out. I turn the water off and grab a paper towel, gently patting the skin so it dries enough for the bandaid.

    "Yeah, and it was my mistake. I can do it," I protest when he opens the bandaid, holding it out of my reach when I try to snatch it from him.

    "Just let me take care of you!" he snaps, grabbing my hand in a tight grip. His eyes light up with a fire I know very well and I instantly quiet down, letting him do what he wants. I try to force down the panic I feel fluttering in my chest. This is how it always starts, they get mad at something simple, and then it keeps getting worse. I sniffle a bit, scrunching my nose and trying to stop the tears from falling. Ashton gently places the bandaid on the cut, pressing a kiss to my finger before looking up at me and seeing my tear filled face. "Baby, why are you crying?" He looks distressed. "I didn't hurt you, did I? Is the bandaid too tight?"

    I shake my head, trying to compose myself.

    It doesn't matter, Vi, just accept it. Don't let him know he's hurt you. He'll use it against you.

    "It's because I yelled at you, Vi, I'm so sorry. I just..." He goes to hold me but when I tense up he gasps and jumps back, pushing his hands through his hair and gripping the back of his head. He steps out of the room and I slide to the floor. He hates me now, he doesn't want to be with me now that he knows how horrible I am.

    He comes back a couple moments later with red eyes. He looks at me sadly before sitting on the floor by the door, facing me.

    "I'm really sorry if I upset you," He begins. An apology? But it was my fault, why would he do that? "I just...it's very frustrating to me that you're so independent. I'm very much used to caring for the people I love. And I love you, Vi," He looks me right in the eyes and I can't look away. That's the thing with Ashton, no matter what happened I'd never be able to walk away from him. He's like a magnet, pulling me to him. I can't fight the attraction. "I love you so much, and I love how you don't need anyone because you're so capable. But sometimes..." he pauses, searching for the right words. "Sometimes it makes me feel like you don't want me. I know you don't need me, but when you keep pushing away my help, I feel like I'm useless. That's something I'm trying to work on, but it's really h-hard." His voice cracks at the end of his sentence and I notice the tears on his face. I scoot over towards him and wipe them away. He smiles brokenly at me.

    "Of course I need you, I'd be nothing without out you," I breathe out, caressing the side of his face. He leans into my touch. "I'm sorry if I made you feel that way, it wasn't my intention...I just don't know anything different." I can't do anything different, or else it becomes dangerous for me, just like last time.

    "I guess it's something we both have to work on," Ashton says. "I'll try to understand that you are capable of doing things on your own,"

    "And I'll work on letting you help me; just because I'm able to do it myself, doesn't mean I have to." Lies lies lies.

    Ashton leans forward halfway and I meet him in the middle for a kiss. It wasn't intense, but it was full of love and passion, and it made my stomach twist from guilt because I hated lying to him. But I had to.

    "Equal partnership," He presses his forehead against mine, keeping his eyes shut, just wanting to be close to me.

    "Equal partnership." I confirm.

    "Are we good?" He asks, sitting back and looking at me nervously.

    "We're better than good. We're super." I stand up and hold my uninjured hand out to help him up.

    We continue back into the kitchen and I make a beeline for the rice, which has started to stick to the bottom of the pan, but isn't completely ruined. I grab a plate and dish it out before sticking it in the freezer to cool. Ashton is standing by the veggies I was cutting, and takes the knife to the sink and washes it. Then he goes over and takes the onions from the cutting board and throws it away.

    "I can do that, Ash, you don't have to worry about it."

    He raises his eyebrows at me.

    "Do you not remember our entire conversation back there?" He smirks. "I can help you. You don't have to do it all yourself. I'm not a great cook, but if you show me what to do, I can do it."

    I nod slowly, not wanting him to get upset again.

    I replace the cutting board, not wanting to risk having blood in our food and show him how to chop the onion, peppers, and mince the garlic. He seems happy to be here with me and our earlier argument has been forgotten. By him.

    I'm still seeing his angry face as he snaps at me. I'll probably never forget that look, and I'm sort of nervous for what's going to happen next time we argue. This was our first real argument, we've never so much as yelled at each other before.

    I'm used to it though, and I know it'll happen again. I'll just have to be more prepared next time. It won't do to keep crying, I have to get better at disguising my emotions. That might make him angry, if I get upset again.

    Ashton is different, I try to argue with myself. He wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I look over at him and he catches my gaze, smiling brightly. I blush and smile back, but when I turn away all I see is angry Ash. It's no use, I need to protect myself.

***

Imma fight Viola's dad and ex, who's gonna help me? 😡😡😡

Next chapter is going to be all the friends getting together; chaotic as usual and I'm so excited 😁 thanks for reading loves ❤️

~ashtonfortherwin