---Patrick---

"Have fun and we'll see you later!" I call to Joe as he drives away. Gerard waves to him as well but as soon as he's out of sight, he turns and smiles down at me, taking my hands.

"So uh..." he blushes slightly in the haze of this thing we call, 'awkward.'

"I'll see you at school tomorrow? Er... Monday?" I ask, cringing slightly at my mistake.

"Sure love," He chuckles, but neither of us move. We don't want to. It's like we're glued to each other and the silence is killing me and I just want him to do something. He continues to stare at me for a moment, then finally presses me against the wall of my house, running his fingers up and down my sides, "is this okay?"

"Gerard," I whisper with a tired smile, finally just pulling our lips together and feeling that coffee taste enter my mouth as he explores me. I find myself moaning into the kiss, one hand around his neck, the other cradling his jaw until I can't breathe and I pull away, smiling a little, breathless.

Gerard squeezes my hips, enough for me to wince a little. I still have bruises from the Friday before last and it's a not so gentle reminder of what happened. I brush it off quickly, though, careful not to let him know what's going on in my mind.

He drags two fingers under my chin, forcing me to look into his soft brown eyes. The troubled whiskey eyes I feel in love with the moment they met mine, "I love you,"

"I love you, too," I smile sadly.

He gives me a kiss on the cheek, bringing a giant grin to my lips, "Talk to you later,"

"See you,"

I head up the steps of my porch while he walks away, down the block and towards his house. A little bit of a bounce in his step.

I'm left to look to the door, still as stone.

I can't do this. What am I thinking? Why don't I just call the cops and get this over with? It would be so much easier, and I really shouldn't do this alone. What will Dad say? Will he be mad I stayed until late or will he be happy? What if he's at the bar and Kevin is the only one there? What if he rapes me again? I look behind myself, but Dad's car is still there. What if Dad rapes me?

You deserve it.

I do. I shouldn't try to run from it because I deserve every last ounce of pain he inflicts on me. I deserve every lash, every hit, every cut and bruise, every scar, every thrust... whatever they did, I deserved it, and I deserve what's going to happen tonight.

My hand rests on the door, do I really want to do this? When I look, Gerard's gone, and I'm overcome with a sense of loneliness. There's no other way out now, anyways. Even if I did get out of this, it would mean I'd never see Gerard again... I don't want that to happen.

I open the door, my decision final.

The house is completely silent.

The only things that remind me this really is my house are the beer and blood stains on the carpet, the broken glass scattered across the floor, and the sight of the hall leading to my room. It's so alien apart from that. The house is almost never quiet.

The door slams shut behind me on accident, it sounds like a sonic boom compared to the silence in the house, and it makes me jump.

And my heart sinks when I hear footsteps coming up from the basement.

Dad appears at the door once he reaches the top of the stairs, a look of pure hate glued to his face and a half-empty bottle of beer in hand.

"Why were you out so goddamn late?" He growls.

"Joe and Gerard wanted to spend more time with me." I reply, "Sorry,"

He growls before pinning me to the wall, his hands holding my wrists above my head in an extremely tight grip. It feels like my wrists are going to break from the amount of force he's pressing on them and my scars aren't helping.

"Dad! Stop, please!" I whimper out.

"What the fuck are these?" He yells as he raises my chin.

My heart stops. Gerard left hickeys there. All. Along. My. Neck. Dad can't know I'm gay. He's going to kill me.

"Where did they come from?" He growls.

"Th-there was a girl there, sh-she was letting us-uh..." I trail off. Why the fuck would there be a girl? He already knows you're lying.

Are you ready to die, Patrick? You know you deserve it, you little attention whore.

"You never once mentioned a girl and unless by some kind of magic you were with boys all day." He growls, making the magic part extremely sarcastic, "And I know how those boys act."

"Dad-" I whisper with fear.

"Did you sleep with a boy?" He whispers.

I can't think straight, I'm sobbing and choking, and I've never felt so fucking scared in my life. I want to disappear and never return, and I want this to just end. I wish he'd let me go.

"No, please..." I sob.

He slams me into the wall, taking a swig of his beer.

"I think you were, you little slut." He growls.

"Dad, please," I cry.

He smashes the bottle above my head, so the alcohol spills into my hair and dampens my blonde locks. Shards of glass bounce off of me to the floor.

He grabs me by my throat, slams me against the wall again, then yells, "I DID NOT SPEND MY LIFE TO RAISE A FAGGOT!"

My feet kick out, my throats already begging for air and my lungs deflating fast as my hands grip my dad's wrist.

He finally has the mercy to throw me to the floor and kicks me hard in the stomach, forcing bile and blood out my mouth.

"Get up!" He growls at me.

I struggle to my knees, but as soon as I get up, he punches me hard in the jaw, pure hate and no mercy in his movements, "Weak, you're fucking useless."

I open my teary eyes to see Megan's door flying open, but that's all I see before Dad's yanking me up by my hair and slamming me into the wall over and over again by my throat.

"Dad! Stop!" Megan screams, but as I open my eyes again, I see her being restrained by Kevin.

Dad drops me to the floor, giving me a split second to clutch my head in my arms, waiting for another blow. Nothing comes.

"I swear to God, if you defend your pathetic excuse for a brother, I will beat you. I know you haven't been getting much lately because he thinks he's so brave. He's stupid. Just like you are." He growls.

I find adrenaline begin to flow through my veins and I know exactly what I have to do while Dad's distracted. It's risky. Really, really risky.

My phone is in my pocket.

Gerard is home.

Do I do it and risk being killed? Maybe even risk Megan being killed? Or do I take my death as it is? Why do I even ask? I've chosen my answer. My mind isn't in place, but I can feel my feet guide me as I scramble to get into my room, spitting out a wad of blood on the way before I slam and lock my door shut behind myself, clicking the button in place. Dad doesn't have a chance to catch up as I dial Gerard's number.

And it rings.

"Patrick Martin Stumph!" Dad yells, "Open the goddamn door, or your sister will get it."

And rings.

"Patrick!"

"Hello?" Gerard asks, he sounds tired, and I hate to wake him, but it's an emergency.

"Gerard, I need help, send help. Anything, please. I won't be able to contact you after this but do whatever you can do. Please." I whisper, careful not to let Dad hear.

"What? Slow down. I'll get help but what's happening?" Gerard replies, panicking.

"It'll be okay, I promise, I love you," I whisper.

It might be the last time I get to say it if I don't get help in time. I need to hurry.

"Patrick, please don't go,"

I feel a tear drop down my cheek.

"If you love me, let me go," I say.

"PATRICK LET ME IN YOU PATHETIC SHIT!" Dad screams banging on the door.

"I love you..." Gerard whispers.

And I hang up.

"Patrick!" Megan screams I hear a bang against the wall, but I don't have to see anything to know Dad's hurting her.

I take a deep breath. Adrenaline is pumping through my veins, and I have two options right now. Stay in my room like a coward and wait for Gerard to show up, or open the door and stop Dad from hurting Megan. I know whatever Dad's doing to Megan, it's going to be ten times worse for me. But Megan can't go through this. It'll be okay. I'm going to be fine. Megan is the first priority.

I'm always last.

I unlock and open the door. It feels like slow motion as it opens to reveal Megan, Kevin, and Dad in the hall but it still isn't enough time to process what's happening. The next thing I know, Dad has me shoved down on the floor, and he's slammed his foot into the side of my head, sending my room spinning in front of my eyes.

He leans down and growls into my ear, "You're such a pathetic waste of space, you know that? I doubt she ever loved you. You're so pathetic, and I will not be responsible for a gay freak."

After that, I feel another swift kick in the head, and my vision goes black before I can say anything back.

And just like that, I'm engulfed in complete darkness.