TRISTEN

I had never been this lonely in my entire life. Wilder had always been there for me through everything. He was there for me when my mom died. He was there for me when I had a huge fight with Dad about my college major; Dad wanted me to attend business school. He was there for me when Stacie dumped me just a few weeks following our one-year anniversary.

However, this time was different.

Wilder was the source of my suffering.

I cried alone in my room until I fell asleep, too ashamed to call anyone for emotional support, not my brother, not my sister, no one. It was too embarrassing to talk about, yet too unhealthy to suppress like that.

I wished I had Stacie with me. I wished I had amnesia. Even though I couldn't remember some of the events that happened last night, but the ones I did remember were twisting my stomach in knots.

I forced myself to think positive thoughts; at least I wasn't able to remember when it actually happened, like the very moment it happened. I couldn't remember Wilder's face when he fucked me, but the horrible feeling of knowing that it happened was killing me.

I remembered what Wilder said about the phases of Purple Juice. I reached phase five, only one phase away from death. I guess I should be grateful.

I felt a little relieved that wilder didn't let me die. I tried to focus on these positive things to ease me through my mental breakdown. I was glad that he helped me, I just didn't like the way he did it.

My phone rang, waking me up from a restless sleep. I removed my face from the pillow with a whiny protest. The phone was buzzing and flashing upside down on the sheets. I grabbed it and turned it to see the caller; it was Wilder.

I frowned and hung up on him.

What part of leaving me alone did he not get?

I looked at the time on my phone; it was '4:23 PM.' I slept for hours, even though it didn't feel like it. I jolted up, wincing as the pain came back to literally bite me in the ass. Then, another phone call came through.

It was Wilder again.

I grunted and pressed 'Decline.' This time, I went to my contact list to block him.

The coziness and silence of the hotel room were the exact opposite of our colorful and loud apartment. It gave me some serenity I had been craving for a while, yet it also heightened my loneliness. I was torn between wanting to forgive Wilder and go back to our place, and between staying here until my anger and pain subsided enough to think clearly.

My stomach growled. I realized I hadn't eaten anything since last night. So, I picked up the room phone and dialed room service. I took the menu from the table and scanned it before they answered.

"Room service. How may I help you?"

"Yes, I would like—" I began to say, but my voice came out hoarse.

I guess I did damage my vocal cords when I screamed this morning.

I cleared my throat and tried again, "I'd like some steak and vegetables, please."

"I'm sorry, sir. Could you repeat that?"

I did my best to let my words out more clearly this time. The employee finally caught my order. He told me it'd be ready in about half an hour.

Once I finished ordering, I hung up and checked my bank account. Damnit. Not enough balance to keep me here for more than two nights, or even to share an apartment with a roommate for the remaining two weeks of college.

I sighed as I realized that I needed my family's support. I dreaded calling Dad and raising all sorts of questions about why am I not living with Wilder anymore. I didn't want to get the "I told you so" lecture. In fact, I didn't want anyone to know about the fight between Wilder and me.

I unlocked my phone and went to my messaging app. I decided to ask my older brother for help. He was online:

Hey Xander. How's it goin? -

I saw the little dots from his end. A second later, I received his reply:

- Well if it ain't my favorite little brother in the world!

I rolled my eyes and was about to comment on what he said but waited for him to finish texting:

- Good. Good. How about you?

I'm your only brother 🙄 -

- Still my favorite 😜

Xander was almost twenty years older than me. He still treated me like a child because of our huge age difference. I kinda liked it and hated it at the same time. I liked it because he basically never says no to me, and I hated it because I wasn't a child anymore.

- Are you coming tomorrow? The girls miss their uncle.

I usually visit my dad and the family every other weekend. I wasn't planning on doing it this time, and I had a better reason to tell Xander other than the truth.

Aw I miss them too. But sorry. Next week is the finals. -

He was upset but wished me good luck. I took a deep breath before I sent:

So... Here's the thing. -

It's been a rough month and our financial situation isn't great. -

I guess what I'm trying to say is I kinda need some money for school supplies and stuff. -

I hated the fact that I had to lie to my own brother. I was nervously waiting for his reply. It came right away:

- Say no more ❤️

The next thing I knew, a text message came into my inbox. I read it and gasped. It said a transfer of 10,000$ had been deposited into my account.

"Holy shit!"

With this sum of money, I wouldn't have to worry about finding a new apartment. Hell, I could easily afford to stay here for two weeks, until the end of my final exams.

I quickly texted Xander back:

Zee! What the hell!! That's too much! -

- Are you saying I can't spoil you anymore??? 😞

I sighed and shook my head. A little smile crept into my lips.

I'll allow it. Just this once! 🙄 -

Or I'll never ask you for help ever again 😜 -

- No! Please! Anything but that!

I genuinely laughed, but seriously, I should probably stop asking Xander for money. I would have asked Dad, but I didn't want him to suspect anything. Dad was practically waiting for Wilder to slip, and Wilder sure slipped alright.

Food came, and the smell of it made me even hungrier. I thanked the employee and as soon as I closed the door, I dug in. I had to eat on the bed because any place else was too hard for my sore ass.

My hunger wasn't yet satisfied when I got a phone call. I wiped the sauce off my hands and picked up my phone. It said 'Valerie' on the screen, my sister.

I wondered if Xander told her about my financial issues.

I gulped the remaining food into my mouth. I tried not to sound emotional. This was the first call I got from someone who really cared about me since it happened. I desired comfort, I desired to let my feelings all out, but I couldn't let my sister know about this thing.

What happened was private, something between Wilder and me, and that's that.

I cleared my throat to mend my hoarse voice before answering. 

"Hey, Val. Sup?"

"Don't you hey me!" I was taken aback by her yelling, then her tone went down. "Wait. What's wrong with your voice?"

Valerie was seventeen years older than me. After our mom died, she took care of me, sometimes with much-needed tough love since I was getting spoiled by Xander.

"Oh, it's nothing." I coughed. "Just a mild cold."

Now that she checked on me, she went back to yelling.

"Tristen, what the hell?"

"What?"

"Wilder just called." I gritted my teeth. That son of a bitch got to my big sister. "He said you're not answering his calls. He's worried about you."

That idiot! I was fuming from the inside out. How can he tell people about our embarrassing fight? I took a deep breath to control myself.

"Well, that's so sweet of him," I said, venom dripping from my voice. "I'm fine. Don't worry."

"He said you two had a fight, but to block him? Really, Tris?"

Oh, my God. Did he tell her everything? I'm gonna fucking kill him.

"He started it!"

"Don't be such a baby."

A baby? I recoiled, offended. She doesn't even know what she's talking about.

"Valerie, please don't start with me. You don't know. OK. Just drop it."

I hadn't realized I was that mad until my eyes watered and my hands shook. Here I was, hurt and alone, and Wilder was the one getting all the attention. It was killing me.

"But it's Wilder." She used that soft tone of hers that always convinced me. "He sounded really sorry. He was crying." I almost felt bad for the bastard. "I've never heard him crying like that before. Shit, Tris. You can't just leave him without a warning or something."

Ugh. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Here we go again.

"Did he tell you what he did?"

If he did, I swear I'm gonna strangle him.

"No." Her voice dropped and her accusative tone was gone, replaced by shame. "Is it that bad?"

"Yeah!" I nodded with wide angry eyes.

Oh, crap. I ran a hand through my hair. I probably shouldn't have said that. Now, she's gonna ask questions.

"Shit... What did he do?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

My voice cracked, and that was the cue for Val to gasp. I felt tightness in my chest. I started rubbing from the neck down. Shit. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want Valerie to hear me cry.

Thankfully, Val left it at that, and it made me so grateful that she didn't push for answers like her old self. Maybe this time, she sensed it was something serious.

She knew that it was that bad.

"Don't tell Dad." I sniffled, rubbing the tears off my eyes. "I don't want him to hate Wilder even more."

"Of course." She sighed. "I just want you to know that if you wanna talk, whenever you're ready, I'm here."

Valerie's words only made me sadder. I didn't know why. Maybe the thought of talking to someone about what happened to me, even in riddles, was somehow comforting. Maybe knowing I had someone to go to was enough to get the tears rolling.

I lay my head on my palm, suppressing a sob, but a whine came out, "I know."

"It's gonna be OK. And, don't worry, I'm not gonna talk to him anymore," she said. "I like Wilder, but not as much as I love my little brother."

"Thanks, Val. You're the best."

"Alright. Take care."

"Bye."

I hung up and pulled some tissues from the box next to the bed. I wiped my tears with a grimace. I hated myself for crying so much. If my dad saw me like this he would spit on my face.

I started thinking, Wilder got to Valerie. Who else is he willing to call to get my attention? Who is he going to call next? He had to be stopped.

I took my phone and opened the texts between us. I wrote in all caps:

"STOP CALLING MY FAMILY OR ELSE."

I was about to press 'Send,' but I stopped. 

No. That's what he wants. He wants a reaction from me, anything but this silence. Well, if that's what he wants then I'm not giving it to him.

So, I deleted it.

Let him suffer.

Sorry about the delay, you guys. It turns out the fever I had was bc of COVID 😞

So, this means I need a lot of rest, and I don't know when I'll be able to write the next chapter. Sorry <3

But please, don't go away! Stay tuned! Add the story to your library and follow me. I might surprise you and publish something soon😜

P.S. While I was sick in bed, I got inspired and wrote the cutest scene between Wilder & Tristen x3 However, it's not coming out until maybe chapter 20 or something, but DAMN IT'S SOO CUUTTEE!!! I really can't wait for you guys to read it! ♡

NEXT CHAPTER: Punishing Wilder  >