TRISTEN

So, Wilder left me to chat with that Rick dude, the host of this ah-mazing event. I was all alone at a party that was so cool I didn't even care I was alone anymore. For the first time in a while, I was enjoying life.

With a glass of margarita in my hand, I strolled around, capturing the awesomeness of the atmosphere. Everyone looked so chill and happy. I couldn't stop watching them. Being surrounded by happy people made me happy.

How many times did I say "happy" in one monologue? I didn't care, because, as I was saying, I was happy.

I walked around with a grin that perfectly explained what I was thinking, This is a nice party.

I passed two old men sharing a drink with two straws. It was odd, but I shrugged it off. Hey, at least they're happy.

My eyes caught two girls next to the dance stage, talking to one another. One of the girls had her hands all over the other girl.

What a cute friend, I thought. She's giving her friend a shoulder massage and fixing her makeup.

Then I admired another scene with two guys.

Aww. Look at those two bros not feeling ashamed to hold hands. I was amazed by their courage to show their bromance. Oh. Now they're hugging.

I was about to move on to the next scene, but I stopped dead on my track. Something didn't feel right about those two huggers. I turned back. I squinted my eyes and tilted my head to get a good look at them.

Did the blonde dude just squeeze the shorter guy's ass?

My eyes grew wide, and I almost dropped my drink, when an unexpected thing happened.

He kissed him!

Not just any kiss. He french kissed him. It was so passionate and intense that I had to peel my eyes away. A trapped voice in my throat wanted to shout, Ugh. Get a room.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

Wait a minute! I started to notice a pattern. Wait a fucking minute!

My breathing picked up as I scanned the guests' faces a second time, with a new view in my mind. I could feel the blood draining from my face. The panicky stares that my eyes sent left and right attracted a few gazes toward me, but I couldn't stop staring. I had to make sure that I wasn't imagining things.

Then I realized, Colors. Rainbow. Pride. June!

I gasped. "Noooo."

It's an LGBT+ pride party!

Suddenly, I felt the need to sit down, to take cover, to get the hell away from the crowd. I found an empty seat by the bar and sat on it.

My head throbbed. My anxiety levels were off the charts.

I clutched my head and traced back everything I saw tonight:

The two girls I saw earlier were probably lesbians, flirting with each other. The old guys I casually passed were acting like an old married couple, arguing then making up and sharing a drink. The bros who kissed were... well, boyfriend and boyfriend.

Then there was this straight girl I saw when I first came here. She was so hot but too bad she had a boyfriend. That was what I thought until I saw her just now dancing with a girl and grinding her booty against her crotch. Straight? Nope. Bisexual? Maybe.

Am I the only straight person here? I swallowed. Nah. That can't be right. I nervously chuckled. Wilder wouldn't do that to me. Right?

I gulped my whole drink in one breath.

Then the one thing I was afraid of happened.

I felt eyes checking me out from the bar. When I looked to my right, I found not only one, but two guys were giving me looks. One of them just smirked and got off his seat, heading towards me.

When he licked his mouth my skin crawled and I wanted to scream "Eeek!"  Dear, God. He was so huge. He looked like the kind of guy into BDSM. How did I know? Have you seen the leather on that thing?

Ah, hell no!

I jolted up and walked away from the bar as fast as I could.

Where the fuck is that Wilder. I gritted my teeth. I'm gonna kill him.

As I looked for my "former" best friend, I accidentally bumped into a tall lady. I rubbed my shoulder and winced. Damn, she didn't even budge. Her shoulder must be made of steel.

"Sorry about that," I said.

"Don't worry about it."

The voice that came out of that woman was so thick and deep, deeper than the voice of Michael Clarke Duncan, the big guy from The Green Mile. She walked away gracefully, wearing a one-shoulder dress. Her biceps were twice the size of mine.

I stood there like an idiot, staring at her even when she was long gone. I had stopped breathing. When I breathed again, I was gasping, on the verge of going into a panic attack.

What the hell did I run into? 

Realization hit me like a brick.

Everyone is queer. I'm the only heterosexual person here.

I quickly slapped myself out of it and continued my search for Wilder.

I finally found him, laughing with a bunch of weirdoes like him. I caught him by the chain on his neck and dragged him away. He was making a gagging noise, and all I was thinking of was, Good. I hope you choke to death, you shitty excuse for a friend.

God, please, give me the strength not to strangle him.

 I let go of him when we reached a less crowded corner.

"A gay party!" I hissed at him. "You invited me to a gay party?"

"First of all, we're called 'queer' now." Wilder was swaying and slurring a bit with a glass of wine in his hand. "Second of all." He winced and said, "Yeah. I might have forgotten to mention that teensy-weensy—" he made the itsy-bitsy spider move with his hands "—itsy-bitsy little tiny detail."

Is he drunk?

"Little! Dude, what am I supposed to do here? I don't belong."

"Shhhhh." He shut my mouth with his finger! "Your lips are so soft."

Yup. He's definitely wasted.

I slapped his hand away, and he seemed like he snapped out of it a bit.

"It's OK, Tris." He raised his palms to calm me down. "You don't have to get involved. I got this." He raised my hand and said, "here."

He put a golden ring on my wedding finger!

I quickly snatched my hand back.

"What the fuck, Wilder?"

That stupid drunk! I hope he didn't just propose to me!

"No. No. Listen to me." He explained with hand gestures, "You see? All you gotta do is have fun at the bar and flip your wedding finger at anyone who wants to flirt with you. Unless it's a girl."

With that last comment, he winked at me. I shuddered. I knew he meant for the wink to be for me hooking up with a girl, but at this point, I was getting nauseous from all the winks I received tonight.

I looked at the ring, then back at Wilder.

"So, all I gotta do is pretend that I'm married?"

"Exactly!" He burped and covered his mouth. "Excuse me."

That was the plan, but did plans ever actually go, you know, as planned?

I hope this chapter made you laugh a little 😂

The next chapter is the one we've all been waiting for 😏

NEXT CHAPTER: Purple Juice >