" I'm done with this shit, Lance!" Pidge yelled at her friend. " You're hungry, I got you food, and you're going to eat it!" She angrily tapped her foot on the tile floor.

" I'm not hungry... just leave me alone." Lance murmured, shoving away the breakfast she'd brought. It had been two days. Two days without being able to look at food, or barely sip any water. Over 48 hours since Lance had last heard Keith's voice, or seen his beautiful eyes even open.

" No, I'm not leaving until I watch you eat this. Your body needs food!" Pidge tried her best not to lose her temper, but this was ridiculous.

" Will you stop yelling if I eat it?" Lance sighed, staring down at the tray of food. He had lost his appetite, and couldn't even think about eating much of anything.

Pidge nodded.

And the alpha gave in, knowing he'd have to choke it down to appease her. Pancakes were one of the worst foods in the world to be eating right then, maybe aside from dinosaur chicken nuggets.

He pulled the tray over and placed it atop his lap, cringing while smelling the heart wrenching aroma of pancakes. And even worse, there were syrup packets on the side, a shit ton of them. Almost as many as Keith would've taken.

But Pidge never could've known something like that. That something as simple as a stack of pancakes could make Lance want to break down and cry. She never would know, either. The only other person who knew about the excessive amount of syrup, and the practically diabetes inducing pool of sugar that pancakes were supposed to be drowned in was Keith.

Keith who lay there, seemingly hollow.

Lance slowly covered the pancakes in the sticky, thick liquid while trying to act like it didn't phase him.

" So, how are you doing other than the... you know... obvious." Pidge awkwardly asked.

" I don't know, Pidge... this just doesn't feel real." His irises dipped into bottom corners of his eyes. " I miss him so much..."

" I know. It's like he's here but at the same time he's not." She had a melancholy filled expression, but as Lance took a bite of food for the first time in days, it lifted a little. " Have you thought about coming back to school yet?"

" I can't leave him. What if he wakes up while I'm gone?" Lance tried not to grimace while chewing the painfully sweet food.

" Lance, he could wake up at anytime. People are here and they'd call right away." Pidge said, aware that Lance's academics were going to suffer if he missed too much school. " Keith wouldn't want you to sit here like this everyday, and you that know he wouldn't want your grades to drop."

" Pidge, I'm not leaving unless I'm forced to. End of story." The alpha said with an iron clad seriousness in his voice.

...

Eventually Pidge left for school, and Lance was with Keith by himself yet again. Shiro had to be at work, and everyone else was apparently too busy to stop in. It had been hours... hours of quiet whisperings in Keith's ear, and just being there. He'd pretty much talked the day away, even though he'd never gotten any response.

He'd become used to it, but he was constantly on the edge of his seat, just waiting to spring up the second Keith's eyes could open.

" Hey... I have a surprise for you, Babe..." Lance smiled weakly at his omega. He grabbed his phone, pulling up his music, where there were a few new songs he'd gotten just for Keith. " I don't want to g-note you... so I'll play one of your favorites that isn't quite so triggering."

Lance hit the play button, and Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance began playing. And the alpha knew he'd listen to Keith's music forever if that's what soothed his boyfriend. He could hear it. He had to be able to.

" Come on... isn't this one of your jams? Aren't you just dying to sing along?" Lance had watery eyes while waiting for Keith to move, or for him to hum, or even for his heart rate to increase. " Please..." He pleaded with him, but after a minute or two he sighed and looked to the side. Maybe Shiro was right. Maybe he was such an idiot for believing that Keith could hear a single thing he said, or did.

Lance thought he'd possibly begun to cry again, but then he felt his forehead, which was soaked with sweat. His eyes were wide. " No... no no no... not now." Lance said to himself. In the chaos of all that had been happening, he'd managed to forget all about his rut.

What the hell was he supposed to do?

It wasn't like he could just fast forward and skip over it, and he couldn't just ignore it either. Lance and Keith had bonded. That bite mark was like a contract, meaning that they were supposed to mate during their heats and ruts and all that jazz. If the alpha didn't get to breed his omega during this time, he'd get sick, and have withdrawal symptoms much like a drug addict would. He'd get chills, cramps, he'd shake and have all sorts of problems for the three or four days it lasted.

Lance would never ever be able to have sex with Keith right then. One, because it would technically be rape due to him not obtaining verbal consent. Two, because they were in a hospital and Keith was trying to recover. And three, because it would be just... wrong. So so wrong.

" Keith..." Lance leaned his head down on the bed next to his boyfriend's face. " I love you so much... so so much..." He knew he wouldn't be able to control himself next to Keith if he was there when his rut fully hit him. Lance turned off the music. " You're so amazing..."

" Lance?" Someone asked from the door.

" Ronny? What are you doing here?" He asked, pausing from talking to Keith. Lance looked to see his sister in the doorway. " Are you really so emo that you come running anytime you hear My Chemical Romance?"

" No. Mom said I had to come and get you..." She told him, being careful to keep her distance from the two. " You haven't been home in days, and she says that you're due for your rut soon."

" Give me a couple more hours..." Lance begged. He felt like he was making a deal with the grim reaper, and that leaving Keith was a death sentence.

" No, you need to come with me. I'm sorry..." Veronica said. She felt horrible for her brother, and seeing his disheveled state didn't help. His hair was greasy because he hadn't showered for days, and he was just a complete train wreck. But the most concerning thing of all was the scent Lance was giving off. His rut was very very close, meaning they had to get away from Keith before the alpha instincts took over. " Please make this easy? I wouldn't want to have to call her at work. You know she'd come here and drag you home herself."

Lance had more tears in his eyes that were filling in bucket fulls.

" I love you so much... and I'll be back as soon as I can, okay?"

" Lance, he can't hear-"

" Shut up! The next person who tries to tell me that is-" Lance cut her off but then found himself unable to finish his threat.

His little sister stood stiff, almost scared. He immediately felt guilty for taking out his anger on her.

" Sorry... just... can I have a minute to say goodbye?" Lance asked her, and his face was sinking from his depression weighing on it.

Ronny went out the door without a word.

" I promise that I'll be back... I'll never ever give up on you no matter how long it takes." He kissed Keith's cheek, accidentally getting a couple tears on the boy's face. Of course the omega didn't flinch, or move to wipe them off, so Lance did so with his sleeve.

" You ready?" Ronny asked Lance as he emerged from the hospital room for what seemed like the first time in a millennium. And the alpha was about to answer, until he saw Shiro in the hallway.

" One second." He told her before walking up to him.

" Lance, hey... I just got off work." Shiro said. In his hands, he was carrying Keith's favorite jacket with him.

" What's that for?" The smaller of the two males asked with a raised eyebrow.

" I... I thought you might want to have it. Since it smells like him and everything..." Shiro sadly said, but then he perked up, sniffing the air. " Lance... are you-"

" Yes... that's why I'm going back to my house... so I don't do anything stupid." Lance sighed, slowly accepting the jacket from Shiro. It smelled of Keith's scent even stronger than the omega did. Mainly because Keith's scent glands had become pretty much dormant since he went under.

" I'm sorry... but I'll text you if anything with his condition changes." The larger alpha said, and Lance could only nod while continuing down the hallway with his sister. He hated himself for not being able to stay. Keith needed him. Keith needed to know that Lance was there.

...

As expected, Lance's rut had slammed into him full frontal by about nine at night. He couldn't sit still, and he was cramping up all over the place. Keith. Keith. Keith. That was all he wanted. Every time he closed his eyes the same images kept on popping into his head.

Keith's face, how desperate he looked while clutching the sheets on his bed. Keith, and how high his back would arch off the mattress after the alpha could slam his sweet spot. Keith, with his hair messy, and sweaty, and ruffled in every direction as Lance yanked on it.

" God damn it!" Lance growled into one of the pillows on his bed. He was naked, and still couldn't seem to cool down. Sweat was everywhere, and he couldn't seem to rid himself of that horrible, raging, achey boner. His length was throbbing, and twitching at even the thought of Keith.

Here he went again, moving to slowly stroke his member up and down, groaning from the contact. Lance held Keith's jacket close, hoping that maybe it could help him somehow. But nothing seemed to work. He'd jacked off so many times that he had lost track, but he hadn't came once the entire time.

Lance felt absolutely horrible. Keith was laying in a hospital bed, suffering in silence, yet there he was, jacking off in his bed far far away.

" What is wrong with me...?" He asked himself, feeling an immense sense of guilt wash over him.

Then another sharp cramp tore through his lower half, causing him to actually yelp out in pain. It hurt like a bitch, like there was some angry animal inside of him that couldn't be tamed.

" Fuck!" He clenched his jaw, and tried to grit his teeth. But he was breathing heavily, and unable to control the way he was panting. Lance was beyond frustrated. Was he really so messed up that he couldn't even cum without Keith? Had he been spoiled? Or was he just too sad to do it without him?

Sex had become a very very wonderful experience for Lance ever since him and Keith got together, and cumming was often something he did earlier than he'd like. Now he'd been stroking himself on and off for hours and... nothing. Not one drop. Only a never ending supply of pre-cum that continued to ooze from his member.

And that's when the idea finally crossed Lance's mind. The dastardly idea that he hated himself for dreaming up. But he was desperate.

Lance 10:34 PM- Please tell me you still have a copy of the video

Pidgeon 10:35 PM- The sex tape?

Lance 10:35 PM- Yes

Pidgeon 10:35 PM- For evidence purposes yes... why?

Lance 10:36 PM- I need you to send me it...

Pidgeon 10:36 PM- Why tho?

Lance 10:37 PM- Because I'm on my rut and it's the only thing that can help me... I feel awful... but I can't... you know... unless I can hear his voice

Pidgeon 10:37 PM- Jesus

Pidgeon 10:38 PM- Fine. Just don't tell Keith I sent you it

Lance 10:38 PM- I feel like shit for this...

Pidgeon 10:39 PM- I understand that this is hard. It's not your fault that your body has needs.

Lance sighed, seeing the video come through. It was loading, and he felt awful for using it to satisfy his own selfish needs. But he was getting even sorer with every passing moment he was deprived of breeding with Keith. It was wearing him down at a seemingly unreal pace.

He didn't know how Keith would feel if he found out about this. Maybe he'd be a mix of angry and flustered. Or he might not even care at all. It was a toss up in Lance's mind as he reached for his earphones.

The fact that he was even going through with this at all made Lance even more sick to his stomach. This video, this awful video had caused so many issues for them. Now all he could think about was turning up the volume and beating off like his life depended on it. In reality, it was the rut that was making him do this. A levelheaded Lance, one that wasn't being smothered by pheromones, would've been able to control himself. But that Lance wasn't the one running the show right then.

" Sh-shit..." The alpha exhaled sharply as he pressed the play button and fiercely moved his hand up and down. At first it was just scuffing noises, but then Lance could hear Keith stuttering out his name.

Keith's beautifully flustered voice that he would do anything to hear again in person. He missed being able wake up and press kisses all over his boyfriend's face, or tease a rosy red blush up to the surface of Keith's cheeks. He'd take that over throwing him up against the wall and fucking him like this any day.

It didn't take long before Keith turned into a mess on the recording, and Lance could practically feel the grip the omega had to have had behind his neck. And the sounds were enough to make him shiver, but they didn't resonate in his chest like they normally would. They were able to stimulate him, but it was barely enough. Nothing could ever be the same as the real thing. No recording could ever replace the feeling of Keith below him, scratching up and down his back and screaming from pleasure.

Tears were streaming down Lance's face as he jacked himself raw. He needed release. Even if it was only once.

He bit his lip, holding Keith's jacket close and taking in the strong scent it still had. God, he felt like such an asshole. That jacket should've been something he clutched and cried by, not masturbated with. Shiro wouldn't have given it to him if he'd known he'd treat it this way.

" Mmh~ K-Keith!" Lance let out a call of his omega's name, pretending he was there as he finally hit his climax. Instead of feeling the normal rush of pleasure, Lance only felt more shame as his legs trembled slightly. He felt like the most terrible person for doing this... and Lance knew it wasn't fair to Keith.

" I'm so sorry, Babe!" He choked out, covering his face with Keith's jacket and crying into the material. " I-I don't deserve you!" Lance was hating himself for being selfish.

(( Someone needs to give Lance a hug. Poor guy.))