Things to end

Devina's POV

My head is in terrible pain. I can't open my eyes. Parang sasabog ang ulo ko sa dami ng sakit na nararamdaman ko. Pinilit kong umupo sa kinalalagyan ko.

Nagulat ako ng biglang humangin ng malakas. Para maging sanhi ng magkasabog ng buhok ko. Dahan-dahan kung minulat ang mga mata ko.

Unting-unting nasilaw ang mata ko sa liwanag na nakikita ko. Green field filled my eyes. Where I am? Kaagad na tanong ko sa sarili ko.

I'm seating under the tree. On the top of the hill. I can see things under me. Some beautiful flower waving at me.

Tinutukso ako nitong lumapit doon pero dahil sa sakit ng katawan ko. Hindi ko na pinilit pang tumayo. I just looking at them at this far distance.

Nasaan kaya ako? Ano ng nangyari sa akin? Sa kanila? Kay Marco? Kay Kuya Jasthin?

Bigla akong natakot ng maalala kung anong huling nangyari. I was shot by Marco because of my mouth wouldn't shut. Hindi ko na nasundan ang pangyayari non. Naalala ko lang na sinugod ni Kuya Jasthin si Marco. Sa pagkakatanda ko nakipag agawan siya ng baril.

Bago ako mawalan ng malay ng tuluyan non. I heard gun shot again but not sure if was Kuya Jasthin. Biglang kumirot ang puso ko sa nangyari.

Ayos lang kaya siya? Nasaktan ba siya? Halos mabaliw ako sa kaiisip. Bakit? Bakit ngayon ko pa narealized na siya pala hindi si Marco. Yung kabang nararamdaman ko kapag si Marco ang kasama ko. Kaba pala na magdudulot sa akin sa kapamahakan.

Yung kay Kuya Jasthin, kaba dulot ng tinding pagmamahal. Sa mga nangyari sa akin ngayon ko lang nabigyan ng pansin iyon. The spark never still on me and Marco. But the fact that Kuya Jasthin tried to save me. My heart feel flattered and safe at the same time.

How I wish I can spend my time with him. Longer and happier. But reality keeps telling the truth. A painful truth.

Wala man sa death bucket list ko. How I wish I have a date with him. Just once, I Just want to feel love by someone.

Kung saan- saan pa lumingon hindi ko alam nasa malapit lang pala siya.

"Your here again!" Isang boses na sobrang familiar sa akin. Kaagad akong napalingon sa likod ko pero wala siya doon. Lumingon uli ako sa kabila pero wala naman. Baka guni-guni ko lang yun?

"Dito sa taas" Muling saad niya. Doon ko lang nakita si Kuya Eurion na prenteng nakaupo sa isang malaking sanga ng punong kahoy.

He jump from there landing beside me. Pinagpagan pa niya ang sarili niya saka seryosong humarap sa akin.
This serious face, I miss it. Ganito siya
kapag badtrip o galit sa akin. Sesermonan ako nito panigurado.

"Why are you here?" May bahid ng galit niyang tanong sa akin. Hindi ba siya masaya na andito na ako?

"Bawal ba ako dito?" Malungkot kong tanong sa kanya. Napabuntong hininga siya saka umupo sa may tabi ko.

"No!, hindi mo pa kasi oras kaya bawal ka pa dito" Malungkot niyang saad. Napatingin ako sa paligid. Is like a paradise.

"Its beautiful here!" Mangha kong saad. Naramdaman ko naman ang paggalaw niya upang isandal ang dalawa niyang kamay.

"Hmm, its beautiful" Sang ayon niya sa akin. Natahimik kami ng ilang minuto bago siya tumayo at nagpagpag ng suot niyang short.

"Lets go" Sabay lahad niya ng kamay sa akin. Tinignan ko lang yun dahil hindi ako matayo sa estado ko. Napatinginan naman siya nalilito sa akin.

"What?" Takang tanong niya sa akin. Tinuro ko sa kanya ang paa ko. Kumunot naman ang noo niya.

"I can't stand Kuya. My body is aching." Pagpapahayag ko sa kanya. Biglang naging seryoso ang naging mukha niya.

"What? What happened? Is that the reason why are here even its not your time?" Furious na tanong sa akin ni Kuya. Napayuko naman ako.

"Hmmm, I've been kidnap for two days. And torture every minute. By the person whom I trust next to you!" Mangiyak-ngiyak na pagsasalaysay ko sa kanya. Napahawak naman siya sa bibig niya saka naiinis na tumalikod sa akin.

"Arghhhhh!" Galit na sigaw niya. Emecho naman ito. Ramdam ko ang galit na pinakawalan niya. Kuya!

He look up to stop his tears to fallen.

"Why? why you always been in the pain? Why they can't protect you?" Nang gagalaiting tanong niya.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't leave you earlier. I should fight. You been in this state. Sorry, sorry for leaving you." Paulit-ulit niyang saad sa akin. Saka ako niyakap.

"You should not Kuya. You been there protecting me. Its enough you did your best. Its a big help for me to continue living despite of the bitter taste I've been going through." Pagpapatahan ko sa kanya.

"Your the best Kuya I've have. I'm proud of you. Sacrificing yourself for me. I've always thinking why you do that? Do I deserve it? Why I'm worth it?" Patuloy ko sa pagsasabi sa kanya. Hanggang ngayon nakayakap pa rin siya sa akin.

"Thank you Kuya. I've see the reason why. Thank you for letting me seek it. Right now I happy you support me. Even I nearly give up. You been there cheer me up. So don't be sorry. I was the who need to say sorry." Mahinahon kung saad sa kanya. Saka kumalas sa pagkakayakap sa kanya.

Pinunasan ko ang mga takas na luha sa kanyang pisngi.

"Sorry for being stubborn, hardheaded and obstinate. Its been a long time before I finally accept it." Warm smile I give to him.

"Sorry you have a tough little sister!" Natatawa kung saad. Natatawa na ako sa itsura niya. May sipon na tumutulo galing sa ilong niya. Namumula na rin ang mga mata niya.

"You look an drug addict!" I naughty tease him. Mabilis naman niyang pinunasan ang mga mata niya saka tumalikod sa akin.

"Hey, where are you going!" Kinakabahan kung tanong ng makita siyang naglalakad palayo sa kanya.

Masama niya akong tinignan. Pikon pa rin hanggang ngayon. Tsk, hahahaha.

I try to stand up. Sa una nakakaya ko pero ng tuluyan na akong nakatayo.

"Ohhhh, ohhhh!" Gulat kong sigaw ng matutumba na ako. Napapikit ako ng na out of balance na ako ng tuluyan.

"Tsk, you really a stubborn one" May inis niyang saad ng nasalo niya ako. Akala ko mahuhulog na naman ako. Hay, buti na lang.

Binuhat niya na ako ng tuluyan saka siya naglakad pababa ng hill. Will going down. Isa lang ang nakikita ko. Mga bulalak sa buong paligid. Just like what I saw in the picture in pinterest.

"Its your garden?" Pagtatanong na hula ko sa kanya.

"Yah, its my place her at safe haven" Seryoso niyang sagot sa akin. Fresh air welcome me when we pass through an arc.

Who has a sign of ' Eurion's Graden of haven'.

"I guess you're the one who plant them?" Curious kung tanong sa kanya habang pinagmamasdan ang mga bulaklak na andito.

He really loves flower. Like our mother who loves also a flower.

"Have you been know that? For so long?" Tanong ko sa kanya. Alam ko na alam na yun. Isa yun sa dahilan kung bakit ayaw niya akong mawala sa mundo.

Tumigil siya saka ako inilapag sa wooden chair. I arrange my self para makaupo din siya. I need to settle things on him. Isa ito sa mga gumugulo sa isip ko matagal na.

"Yes, I know that when Mom is pregnant with you." Pagsisimula niya saka tumayo lumakad palayo ng kunti sa akin.

"They always fighting since she's bearing you. Kami nila Kuya at Ate lagi na lang nasa kwarto kapag nagsimula na silang magtalo." Pagkukuwento niya sa akin.

"Sabi ni Kuya Connor. Dati pa lang daw hindi na sila magkaintindihin. Fix marriage lang kasi ang naganap sa kanilang dalawa. Mom, didn't love Dad as he love her. Their's someone that our Mom love the most." Malungkot niyang pagsasaad sa akin.

Malungkot akong napatingin sa baba.

"Its my Dad!" Malungkot kong saad sa kanya. Naramdaman ko naman pag upo niya muli sa tabi ko.

"Yeah, your true Dad. At first we don't really get whats Mom thinking that time. But when the time passing by. Dad, accept it. But not as a whole. She didn't let Mom left the house. Meaning they didn't let anyone know about you." Pagpapatuloy niya sa sinabi ko. Kagat labi akong tumingin sa kanan direksyon ko.

"So Dad accept me but in the same time ashame of my existence." Nahihiya kung saad sa kanya.

"Hey, stop thinking about that" Suway niya sa akin. Saka kinuha ang atensyon ko.

"Now, I perfectly understand the cold treatment that I get in him." I broken told him.

"Of course Dad would treat me like that. You know what?" Patuloy ko sa pagtatanong sa kanya. Bakas sa mukha niya na ayaw niya itong pag usapan.

"Devina!" Mahina niyang saad sa akin. Stoping me from hurting my self. I smile at him like it was okay.

"Its okay Kuya. I am happy because finally I figure that. Sino nga ba ang matutuwa na makita ako sa bahay. Parang isang sampal iyon kay Dad na kahit anong gawin niya hindi siya ang tunay na may ari sa puso ni Mom" I said in lifeless tone.

"Being in that house is like a torture on Dad." I bleak told him.

"Devina!" He firm called my name. Its a warning for me to cut of the topic. But I want to tackle this issue. Matagal ko ng gusto itong malaman. Kung bakit ganon sila sa akin. And the time goes by its little by little reveal.

"No, Kuya I know some little detail. I need to know whats the real reason. Maybe if Dad and I talk about it, right?" Paninigurado ko sa kanya. Wala naman siyang magawa. I hesitate about it. Its about my life, myself and the things that complete my pieces.

"You know Kuya, I feel like a broken puzzle. Who has a missing pieces. Scaterred, lost and crashed. I want to find my pieces but I don't have any clue where about it. Ganon yung nararamdaman ko. And I hate my self for that kind of feeling. " I hateful told him. Tahimik naman niyang pinakikinggan ang pagdadrama ko.

He never say anything. Maybe he understand where I came from.

Hooo, I'm feeling better. Letting my though to be say. The burden was lessen. Its good for me.

We share the time watching the scenery. This world seems the peaceful I ever been.

"Its getting late, you need to come back." He broke the silent between us. Napatingin naman ako sa kanya.

"What?" Takang tanong ko sa kanya.

"Its getting late, if you want to know more about it. Go back, they waiting for you" He said softly and stand up in front of me. He place his hand in front of my face. A warm smile welcome me.

"Its okay you don't need to worry about me. I'm use to it in case you forgot. I'm been here for 14 years in this land. So don't bother to think how I am here. I'm good so, you need to back as soon as posible." Pagpapanatag niya sa akin. Paano niya nalaman ang nasa isip ko?

"You been so obvious Devina." Natatawa niyang puna sa akin. Napakunot noo naman ako sa kanya.

Tinignan ko siya ng masama. Napahalaklak naman na siya ng tuluyan. Nabaliw na ata ito dito dahil mag isa siya.

"No, I'm not alone!" Seryoso niyang sabi. Napatingin naman ako sa direksyon na tinitignan niya. I stiff when I see who is it. Unti-unting tumulo ang mga luha ko.

Why? why he is here? No! no this can't be. Marco! Nanghihina kung banggit ng pangalan niya.

Kuya have been serious. I think he knows what happen. Nakikita niya pa rin ang mga nangyayari sa akin. Ramdam ko galit at pighati sa kanya.

Nakatayo lang siya sa pwesto niya. Gulat sa nakikita. Hindi pa rin tumitigil ang luhang nagsisilabasan sa mga mata ko. Pinaghalong lungkot at tuwa ang nararamdaman ko.

Lungkot dahil wala na siya. Tuwa dahil ligtas siya. Why? why always someone need to sacrifice? Bakit hindi na lang pwede silang mabuhay.

Dad! My Dad! How is he? For sure he was devastated right now. Two most important people on him was lostin grip towards on him.

Natauhan lang ako ng naglakad patungo sa kanya si Kuya. Kinakabahan ako sa maaring mangyari.

"Kuya Eurion!" Kinakabahan kong tawag sa kanya. I never see Kuya furious. Hindi niya nakinig sa akin, patuloy pa rin siya sa paglalakad.

Arghhh why your so weak! Inis na sambit ko sa sarili ko. Hanggang ngayon kasi masakit pa rin ang ilang parte ng katawan ko. I want to go on them. Stop the tention! building up.

I feel hopeless for myself. I just watching them talking about something. Hindi ako makapakali dahil sa kanila. Arghhh, anong pinag uusapan nila. Kuya!

Nagulat na lang ako ng tumalikod si Kuya para bumalik sa akin. The wrath-faced vivid on his face. I don't know what they talk but I'm sure its about me.

I see Marco reaction after they talk. His eyes flooded with tears. He pursed his lips, he shut his eyes. He covered his eyes with a hand. Saka Tumalikod siya saka pinunasan ito.

I look at my Kuya. He was furious, his jaw clenched and his hands tightened into fists. And then he threaded a hand through his hair. He lower his gazed on me. He sign and ducked to level my face to him.

He let out a long sign. He stared at me.
"You should two talk" He squinted at Marco before continue what he tell me. " I know what happened. I watch it from here. I can't stand see what happened to you. I hate him for doing that on you. But as you said earlier. You're finding your self. Maybe this thing need to settle." He avoid his gaze on me.

"He is your friend. No matter the things turns up. Thats gonna change the fact you two has a good fellowship. Kahit ayaw ko pero kailangan. Talk to him, I can sense he do wanna do that. Just promise me. Settle all the things need to end. I do wanna give you a heavyhearted while you back to the world." He look at me directly in to my eyes. Pleasing me to do what I need to do.

A tears fell in my eyes. And then...

"Of course I promise. Thank you for being understandable Brother. Your the best, don't worry. If I settle all things to end. I promise we will never separated again." Teary eyes I tell him. His eyes become sad-eyed. I know he informed in my current status. A slight smile give to me.

"Hmm, I will wait you here. Don't rush anything. Enjoy every moment in your life while you in the world. I always watching you from here. I be your guide." A genuine smile appear on his face. I feel contented, my heart is serene stated now.

He rise from seating and sign to Marco. To go near to us. Confused he walk until he reach us. To look at him sharpened than he first look at him.

He nod at me and then leave the two of us. Silent fill us, awkward feeling cover us.

"Marco!"
"Devina!"

We both called the name of each other.

"Ikaw na!" Mabilis kong saad sa kanya. I need to hear his side. I do wanna be a bais to me. His story must heard and listen.

"A-ah, I'm sorry for everything that I cause you to suffer until death. I'm sorry, hindi ko na hinihingi ang katapawaran mo. Sa tindi ng ginawa ko sa iyo." Nakayuko niyang saad sa akin. My eyes lower down, I know.

"Nagsisisi ako, sana hindi na kita dinamay sa galit ko sa mga magulang mo. Your inconsequent from the anything that they did on us. But everytime that I see you. Free and unbothered, I can't stop my other self to avenge. Seriously I disregard all the plan that I want to do. Until they abducted me. Push me to do things that I almost forgot." Pagsasakwento niya sa akin saka umupo sa kabilang dulo ng upuan.

"They awaken my other self. The evil one, I gain it from my devil Father. I guess you know my history?" Pagtatanong niya sa akin. Tumango naman ako sa tinanong niya.

"The Psychiatrist didn't notice it. They just observed that I has a traumatic drepession. I find it out when I got in higschool. I got in the disciplinary office for doing such thing. But the truth is. I don't do that, I found out I have another character. He is Markus, the evil one." Nakakalilabot niyang pagkukuwento sa akin. Nanlalaki ang mata kung nakatingin sa kanya.

"Yeah, scary someone told me what he saw. And from that I draw a line from the other person. I became introvert person. And then you came, I dunno what on you break the wall that I build up for so long. Then, Blyst pop up. You two totally destroy it." quite smile came out on his lips.

"Thank you, you calm Markus that time. I thought it was a end of it. But they came harrass me, torture and do injustice things to me. Pinalabas nilang muli si Markus sa akin. At siya ang nakaharap mo noong araw na iyon. Pilit ko siyang nilalaban non time na yun. Pero mas lumakas siya kumpara dati. I can't fight him." Naiinis niyang kwento sa akin. Kaya pala parang wala siya sa sarili niya non. Matutulala tapos galit and then vice versa.

"Saka lang ako natauhan ng binaril kita. It reach my nerve. I click the trigger, I saw you vomit blood. I stiff from that time till Kuya Jasthin rush into me. Lumaban na lang ako hanggang sa nabaril ako. Biglang bumalik sa akin lahat ng mga nangyari before. Huli ko na lang na nakita they carry you out of the room." He sad told me. Nakayuko siya sa lupa. Nahihiya sa kanyang ginawa.

"I just want you to know that. I cause you a pain. You shouldn't forgive me. I am a wicked person you should trust. I am so sorry for everything. My words can't seal the damage I cause to you. Sorry!" Humahagulgol niyang saad sa akin. Bigla naman akong nakaramdam ng paghihinayang. Imbis na galit awa ang naramdaman ko.

He suffer from his Father. What happen it just a outcome of his history. Maybe he did something wrong on me. But who I am not to forgive a friend.

Sa kabila ng ginawa niya sa akin. Mas nangingibabaw pa rin ang kabutihan na pinairal niya sa akin. Hindi yun mabubura nino man. O ng ano man. We are just a victim of our parents fault. It should not our fight. Cause we are the collateral damage. An excess baggage that leave untouchable.

Pero sakim sila, gahaman at mas malala pa sa Magulang namin. They use us to avenge. What kind of people they are?

A merciless people, a deciple of satan. Sila dapat ang mamatay hindi siya. Hindi ko pa rin tanggap. But I know I need to accept.

"Will you please stop crying. I can't seing you like that. Mas gusto ko ang Marco na nakilala. Yung seryoso na parang walang paki sa mundo. Oo may ginawa kang mali sa akin. Pero who I am not to forgive you? I'm not a god not to give you forgiveness. Kung siya nagpapatawad ako pa ba?" Patanong kong saad sa kanya. I give him a warm smile and continue from what I want him to know my side.

"Malaki nga ang himat na binigay mo sa akin. Pero hindi pa rin non mababago na pinagaling mo ang ilang sugat nito. Your my medicine and the same time my pain. Hindi rin ako mapapanatag kung hindi kita papatawarin. Mabigat iyon sa damdamin. Kaya I forgive you. Nanghihinayang lang ako kasi you leave me, us. I am sure pinatawad ka na rin nila. They not forgetting the Marco that they know." Kalmado kung saad sa kanya.

"Isa rin ito sa things to end ko. Settle then rest. Iyon ang kailangan kung matapos." Nakangiti kung saad sa kanya.

"My journey is not yet ended. But soon me, you and Kuya will be together. Just promise me to wait me here. Dapat andito ka kapag oras ko na. I know hindi mo pa alam pero in the mean time you will know." A calm smile welcome him. Bakas sa mata niya ang gulat pero nangibabaw ang pag intindi.

"Okay, I wait you here. And" Pasuspense niyang saad sa akin. Pain written on his eyes. At first I confuse but later as he tell me. I now understand why.

"Speak to him your true feelings. Before you comeback here. Please let he know that you have the same feeling towards him. Mahal ka niya, simula pa lang. He just give way for me. And I was very thankful for that. Kasi pinaranas niya sa akin kung paano magmahal ng isang tulad mo. Kahit na alam ko na walang kasiguraduhan he give me reason to try. Wala naman masama kung subukan wag lang masyadong umasa." Nasasaktan niyang saad sa akin.

"Please don't look at me like that. Have a dignity on me. Yun lang ang meron ako sa ngayon." Nahihiya niyang suway sa akin. I chuckle as he say that. Nakakapanibago siya.

"Kaya gawin mo, hindi mo kailangan pang ipangako. Basta gawin mo, kahit yun lang masya na ako. Masaya na ako dahil nakikita kitang masaya. Sapat na para sa isang tulad ko. Sa totoo nga labis na iyon. Ang mapatawad mo ay sapat na. Pero sadyang mabuti ang puso mo. Sayang at napunta ka sa kanya. Hindi kita nakuha. Kaso huli na ako." Madamdamin niyang pag amin sa akin. Naooverwhelmed ako sa mga naririnig ko sa kanya.

"Kailangan mo ng bumalik, sa kanya at kanila. Hinihintay ka na nila" Bumalik sa pagiging malungkot niyang tono. Hindi ko na napansin pa ang paglapit ni Kuya.

Nilahad niya ang kamay sa akin. Saka sabay kaming naglakad. Patungo sa isang pinto. Bago ko buksan, lumingon ako sa kanila. Tears fallen again on my eyes. Why I am so crying baby.

They just give me an assuring smile.

"Babalik ako" Pangako ko sa kanila bago tuluyang pumasok sa bigla pabalik sa mundo.