A/N: As promised here's the chapter for February. Let me get off some things first because they are important. First of all...

IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY A FEW DAYS AGO!!

Yeah that's important because it was on my birthday that wrote the most beautiful scenes of this chapter and even cried a bit because of the emotional scenes. That day was also the day I finished the whole thing but again editing took me a few days so I couldn't update my story on my b-day :'D

So regard this as my belated surprise for you all! *^*

Even if it doesn't seem like that at first, but trust me when I say that this is a beautiful chapter. A really really really beautiful chapter, probably my fave. I put so much effort into it and honestly I'm so satisfied with how the chapter turned out.

The title is perfect, the different scenes are connected well, Eren is adorable, Levi is actually the most precious one here and I tried really hard improving my writing style a bit because this chapter doesn't deserve mediocre writing.

Enjoy! (Really. Do enjoy it. I hope you all will)

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"We're going to use my room." I said casually, as a matter of fact.

He scoffed. "Not even in your dreams. We're going to use my room."

I crossed my arms and attempted to pout at him but instead of a jut forward by my lips, they curved up at the corners and hinted at a smile.

Levi's not-so-serious looking frown was faltering as well.

"But why yours? Mine is just as fine."

Right now we were in the middle of deciding which room we'd choose to share together. Not one bed in one room for each; no, it was about time for us to sleep in one bed together in one room for both of us. Before... everything, it was common for us to sleep in our own rooms, although sometimes Levi did allow me to sleep with him in his bed, whether it was after a fuck or not. And... after everything, there had been that silent agreement of me sleeping in Levi's bed and eventually it was time to make the whole thing official.

Though, I hadn't expected it to be this difficult.

Was Levi going to move to my room or was it the other way round? None of us knew because both of us were suggesting for the other to give up on their room.

"Your question is unnecessary." Levi's soft, low voice channeled into my ears and shook me off my thoughts. He was giving me a disapproving look. "My room is bigger than yours."

"But my room is really cozy and comfortable to sleep in."

"Yours is stuffed with many useless things, that's what it is."

"I need those things."

"No one needs ten sketch blocks, three drawing tablets, four bean bags, two shelves filled with all kinds of merchandises from who knows what kind of series, another shelve only for books, one big-ass wardrobe where only half of them is occupied by your clothes and six pillows to sleep on when three of them are scattered on the floor anyway."

I opened my mouth to counterattack, but no plausible reason arose my mind, so that I had to shut my lips defeatedly. "Using three bean bags sometimes is a good alternative to sleeping on a bed." I murmured sheepishly, drawing my eyes away from him since this couldn't even count as an attempt of mine to defend my, well, slightly strange living habits.

"Oh dear, Eren." Levi tilted his head up and pushed out an exasperated sigh. "If I add my belongings to your room, there won't be much free space anymore to move on. Let's use my room. You can transfer all of the necessary things to this place here and whenever you miss your three bean bags or want to gawk at your fandom merchandise or need to use another of your sketch books you can go to your room and do whatever you desire."

I hesitated. Not for long, though. "Fine." I stretched the word on my tongue, rolling my eyes once noticibly as I rose my hands in capitulation. "Your idea may sound good."

Levi huffed. "Of course it does. It's my plan after all." Arms crossed, I scrutinized the way he looked at me with that self-assured posture, hips lightly swayed to one side and face looking pleased.

I pursed my lips at him and crossed my arms. "But you have to help me carry the necessary stuff, okay?"

"I will gladly do that."

"Well," I drew out the word, staring at the ceiling as I philosophized dreamily, "seems that all my precious stuff has to spend the night without me from now on."

"Oh, come on," Levi pushed me towards the door to head to my room while I smiled to myself. He seemed to be a little amused as well. "You can go to your room and worship your sacred shit anytime."

It didn't take more than half an hour to move my ("useful") belongings to Levi's room. Clothes, pillows, blanket, work desk, various room accessoires that didn't appear too sappy in Levi's eyes and a book shelf, as well as trading Levi's wardrobe with mine to have one big wardrobe for two.

I was lining up my framed photographies that showed my family, friends and some pretty places I had visited in the past when Levi sneaked behind me, placed his chin on my right shoulder, and folded his arms over my waist. "The ocean, huh?" Apparently he had his eyes fixated on the picture that I had set up on the shelf last; a picture that had captured a moment that was so valuable to Armin and me. We were little children in this and running towards a vast mass of sand, the beach, as we headed for the ocean that was so close to us, some waves almost reaching our feet. Our heads were turned back and I still remember that it had been my mother who had called for us because she had wanted to take a picture of Armin and me with the ocean in the background, since this had been a truly big experience for both of us; especially for Armin.

"That was the very first time we got to see the ocean." I started explaining, although there wasn't any necessity to do so. I didn't even know whether Levi wanted to listen to it, but the words spilled through my mouth before I could usher them back in and down my throat, swallowing them into a void. Also, it pressed my heart to an eased state and I felt like not wanting to talk about anything else right now. "Armin told me so many things about it before. His grandpa was a ship captain and used to travel a lot at sea. One time he gave Armin a book that told about the ocean and from then on he didn't wish for more than to see the big blue sea with his own eyes. Shiganshina isn't located near the ocean at all, you know, but that didn't hinder him from sticking to his dream. We were barely four years old, I guess, and Armin had sucked me in to the idea of seeing the ocean for its beauty and admiration. I got interested in it as well and we bugged our parents to see it. We even convinced them to permit us taking swimming lessons, so that after only 6 months we were able to swim somewhat decently and make a trip to the ocean. I know that the very first time we headed there, after this picture was taken to be quite exact, Armin was squealing and giggling in joy, playing in the salt water, and so was I, because... Do you even know how a four year old child feels when they meet with something as enormous and overwhelming as the ocean? It was a splendid and incredible experience."

A little comfortable silence expanded between us. And then I guessed that I had probably talked too much.

"Oh, sorry," I scratched the back of my head as I chuckled lazily, turning my head to Levi, "I'm pretty sure I've bored you with my background story."

His arms crossed over my stomach. A rather undefinable and undescribable dullness coated his grey orbs and he looked indifferent about this matter. "Why should I ever complain about you telling me more about yourself? If there's something I'd gladly like to know more about it's you."

"Okay. That's pleasant to hear." A pause. "When was the first time you visited the ocean?" Now that I have told about me, Levi might as well could share his experience.

Raising his brows in what seemed like slight irritation, his eyes wandered away from my face, an exhale passing his parted lips. "I don't exactly know. That was more than ten years ago. But I do remember that I got into a big fight with my family shortly after Cassie and Richard had adopted me and suggested to go to the ocean together as a family in an attempt to make me feel less foreign around them. I hadn't been on good terms with them right away because I questioned their concept of "living as a patchwork family", thus integrating me to their family relations, so I rebelled and stood up to any of their attempts that dealt with such family bondings. Some time later, we worked out the hindrances and obstacles that had been standing in our way and by me accepting them and approving of them, we finally became what we are right now. The topic ocean used to be a taboo for at least a year, but we finally went there when Isabel asked for it. Unlike you, I hadn't got such a big impression of the ocean. It's just an ocean. Nothing interesting or important."

"Don't say that in front of Armin. He'll find a way to brainwash you." I joked, smiling. My gaze wandering over the room deliberately, I noticed something that I had never given attention to before, which was actually quite ridiculous because after so many months and times sleeping in this – Levi's – room here, I should have realized it earlier. "Why don't you have family or group photos framed anywhere?"

"I have pictures with my friends practically rotting somewhere between some books and all the family photos are where they belong; in my family's home." His voice was highly nonchalant, as though it was the most obvious explanation ever and not unusual at all.

I curved my brows slightly. "But once one moves out from their parent's house, they take some memories of their family with them."

Levi shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "I know how they looked like years ago and I remember most of the things I did with them that was worth to be savoured in a picture."

"But still..."

A sigh brushed through his lips and he closed his eyes for a while. "You know... there is one essential thing I'd rather not have to face everytime I look at those pics."

"And that is?" I asked, persistent.

"I... I didn't always use to be averagely tall for my age."

"What?" Cocking my head like a bird to the side, there was a little time span where I didn't believe the words my ears had caught, but just as quickly a little streak of comprehension slowly started to unravel the mess of threads in my mind.

"Small." he said, steadily, "I used to be unnaturally small when I was a teenager. A midget. Barely 5 feet 3 inches tall."

Even though I grasped the words right away, I took a long pause to just stare at him, eyes expressionless but focused on Levi's irritated face. Then I smiled. And my smile grew, and Levi rolled his eyes. "Oh? That's... very intriguing to know. A small Levi. I'm sure that looks really..."

"Don't say it." He breathed in acted exhaustion.

"Cute." To this, I earned a groan. "Yes, yes. Cute. I can't really imagine you being so small, gosh, can I see a picture?"

"No."

"Please."

"It's not like I have any with me or stacked somewhere in my room anyway. I wasn't very proud of my short height by the way. That was the main reason why many people underestimated me or thought I was the perfect prey for bullies. Only at 17 or 18 did I finally grow taller."

"Did you have sort of complexes because of that?" I asked tentatively, being very much interested in this matter; I listened carefully and seemed to step closer to Levi with every question I flooded him with, at one point our bodies grazed each other and my hands found themselves around his waist. Lovingly, I beamed at him and was keen for his answer to my ask prior. I may have asked him something that was itself a rather depressing issue, but on the other hand I could already guess that a negation of my question would follow as a reply.

"Of course not." I knew it. Levi's tone, deprecative and bitter, decorated the growl that was rising up his throat dryly. "It took me just a little to make it clear to people, mostly those of my age or slightly older, that they shouldn't mess with me, and they understood. Short or not, I had much dominance and power in that little body of mine."

"Can-you-show-me-a-picture, please?" I hopped in place as I uttered every word slowly, stressing each of them. "Pretty please. Snatch one from your parental's home and hang it on a wall in your – our – room here. That'd be really nostalgic." I batted my eyelashes excessively, granting him a puppy eyes look.

Levi snarled very faintly, obviously disapproving of my idea. "Your pictures are enough. Mine would be pretty dull and boring. Most of yours, however, are funny to look at. Either you are smeared in dirt, have scratches and injuries from whatever activities you got them from or you're posing most extrovertedly in group photos. I wasn't like that. In many of them you can literally read it from my knitted brows and frowned forehead that I was forced to take photos with my siblings or friends. I thought of such a thing as a total waste."

Despite of his reasoning, I insisted on my wish. "But Levi..." I whined, patting his chest with one flat hand in a beg.

"You just want to know how I looked like when I was smaller, don't you?" he eventually snapped.

"Absolutely!" He was met with another shining beam of mine as I widened my eyes and tore my mouth agape in fascination.

"No." he said, and established free space between us by grasping me and lightly pushing me away by my arms. "We're done moving your stuff, right? Let's take a shower then."

My smile fell and so did my shoulders. Levi held one of my wrists and guided us to the bathroom while I strode behind him reluctantly – like a little child who didn't want to go home from a playground yet –, and pouted stubbornly.

I went as far as to refusing to shower by myself, so Levi did it for me.

Half an hour later we were out again and back in our room.

A fresh scent painting the air a new life, I perched at Levi who had already made it himself comfortable on the bed, with a magazine in his hand; laying on his right side, he had his head leant against his palm and his elbow propped up. His top was coating his abdomen area only loosely, falling down at the front and giving a little glimpse of his hot six-pack. Like that, he looked like a stunning beauty. So charming and enchanting and pretty. A gorgeous man, despite of his flaws, and all of him was all of me.

Standing still at place, generous feet away from him, I held the ends of my white towel round my neck tight and watched him in awe. A feeling of falling a second time with Levi spread in my chest and infected all nerves of my body with an incurable and insatiable state of adoration and amazement.

Not a second time falling in love, but I was falling harder for him. Every moment I realized how much he meant to me my heart picked up its pace almost unnoticibly as a mute redness would swell on my face.

My love, my precious, my everything, and sometimes I'd think of how it'd have been if a certain thing hadn't come as it had happened, hence how my life would have been if I hadn't met Levi. Would I have had a girlfriend? Or would I have stayed single?

"Weird how the fact that we are a couple now would have never happened if it wasn't for you to invite me to the drink parties of your colleagues after meeting each other in a business dinner." I joined him on the bed, taking the same laying position as him but mirror-inverted. There was no second that my eyes had halted savouring Levi's being. His hair had dried quicker than mine and his towel had fallen off his shoulders and was abandoned behind his back. I let my fingers run over Levi's back of hand up to his arm, drawing invisible traces. "It is quite interesting to think about how we wouldn't have become anything at all if it wasn't for the drink parties you invited me to."

"Geez, don't bring that up." A guttural groan rumbled in Levi's throat. I could already guess why that was, and it made me force a cackle down. Levi went on venting. "First they reproached me for having dared skipping one of their drink parties and then, a few months later, they decided to stop with this tradition! Where the fuck is the logic?!"

My fingers travelled on Levi's shoulder now. I shifted my head on my palm and sparked a smile a him. "It's indeed weird, but you should be glad that you don't have to go there anymore. You were never really eager to take part in it, whilst I thought it was really fun doing it once in a month." I remember that Levi's co-workers would throw a little drink party whenever they receive their salary each month and since Levi got bored by it after the first few times he asked me to bear him company. That was around the time I met Levi for the first time during a business meeting where, afterwards, I had escorted him home and we had had sex. The abolition of the drink party had occured when Levi and I had already become fuck buddies, so more than four months later.

"Heh, did you like those parties because of all the drinks and the drunk people doing ridiculous and funny things or was it because I was there giving you a special and pleasurable treatment?" Levi drawled in a sultry voice, slyness creeping out in form of a smirk. Levi's hand had stilled on the magazine, there was no doubt he had abandoned it by now, and the only movement that appeared noticable in the static void of silence was that of my tracing fingers, blessed by Levi's skin.

Eyelids fluttering once, I retorted lavishly, "You don't think I liked it just because of the things we did there, do you? Come on, Levi, you were okay. That's it."

There was no single second where Levi would believe my joke, his eyes didn't widen in surprise and in general he didn't falter at all. I myself had difficulties not to burst into a loud laughing fit because my own words sounded more ridiculous in my ears than I had expected.

"Tch, you little shit." Levi scolded me but grinned.

I spread my fingers and slipped my prior moving hand under Levi's top, feeling his skin there now as I skidded closer to him. Levi let me, though he looked slightly mad, eyes flicked to the side and lips pursed.

I huffed a smile and stroked his side apologetically. "Just joking."

"Yeah, sure." The mocking undertone revealed how much Levi took this whole thing rather halfheartedly.

"Hey, I'm saying the truth."

There was a long moment where Levi tantalized me, refusing to say anything and suddenly he found the magazine highly interesting. Pouting, I tried to bring him to talk by nuzzling our noses together and humming at him.

Even then he treated my lovely attempts as thin air, until... until—

"Stop!" All of a sudden he stared at me wide-eyed and for some reason one hand of his enclosed my wrist that had been hovering over his skin. The way he had exclaimed this to me wasn't sounding as if he was annoyed by my attention seeking. It sounded a lot more like a... warning.

"W-What... What's wrong?" I gave him a worried gaze, brows curled as such.

With what seemed like breath being held in by him, Levi eventually released it in one audible puff. "It tickles."

It took me literally half a minute to figure out what he was talking about, confusion expressing on my face vividly, and after a short glance at my hand that had been kept in place, on his skin but motionless, a vague guess crept onto my mind and soon I was certain about it.

As a small tug twitched at the corner of my lips, I asked innocently, "Are you ticklish there?" and put light pressure on the spot where Levi had ceased my hand's strokes.

Instead of simply answering with a 'Yes', Levi instructed me. "Be a good boy and move your hand away from there." The threatening and stern voice of him was what dared me, tempted me, to opt for the exact opposite.

I replied with a big grin, my eyes gleaming with amused torture.

"Don't do it." Levi snarled and began to distance himself from me, doing so unobstrusively and discreetly at first.

But I was faster and threw myself on him, keeping him trapped in place as my hands found the left and right side of his waist.

"No! Wait! Eren, don't!" He struggled under my grasp and if it wasn't for me to already have started tickling him with brisk and jaunty fingertips, he most likely would have been able to free himself.

Grinning in entertainment, I went on with my very special torment. What I heard next was something I had never heard before and beginning from the first second I listened to it, part of me had already made it a mental note to savour this moment – this gleeful voice that sounded off in such a beautiful way – for eternity and beyond that.

The heavenly beautiful and sweetly delightful laughter that spilled through Levi's lips dipped the room in a state of bliss, sounding like music in my ears. Levi's upper body whipped and alternated from left to right side, filling the air around us with his stunning voice of blithe happiness, as my fingers grazed his ticklish spots.

Sometimes protests would get squeezed out by Levi in between his laugh, demanding from me to stop (which I, of course, rejected because this was too beautiful to end so soon).

At some point, I began smiling and feeling clensed; Levi's laughter having the gift of washing off negative things. Even before I realized it, my fingers had already stilled after some time and now Levi lay flatly on his back, panting loudly which caused his chest to heave and sink as his laughter subsided. The white of his eyes looked slightly wetter and the upcurve of his lips decorated his face in a way that was worth to be painted on canvas and remembered forever.

This side of him was so rare and so pretty.

I, who had been silent the whole time, cast a peaceful smile at him.

"What?" Levi finally said, breath evened out mostly.

My hands still round his waist, though not tickling anymore, I kept holding him in my arms.

"You have a magnificent laugh." I confessed; sounding as genuine and endearing as possible. These were feelings I wanted Levi to understand without any doubts.

Levi's face flushed a faint pink, flustering, and he huffed shortly at first, probably not knowing how to reply to this and words seemed to fail him, and then a hand was up and reached my right cheek, pushing my face softly to the left.

"What are you talking there? I-It's just a laughter." he stammered, and I noticed this was the very first time I saw him this off his guard.

I whipped my gaze back at him.

"But it was you laughing. It was the first time that I witnessed you laughing like that. And I find your laughter beautiful."

Levi crossed his forearms, pulled them behind, and rested his head on them. He smiled smugly. "You're embarrassing."

"No, I'm just so in love with you, that is." I gave one last tickle attack and made Levi wince and cry out a low-pitched squeak and I took that opportunity to place my lips on his. He was startled at first, but loosened quickly.

We stayed arm in arm and on our bed for a long time, talking about everything that leapt to our minds as time passed and the world aged. With our bodies pressed to each other, sleep caught us hours later.

~~~

Despite of our talk yesterday and Levi's arguing and degrading the significance of it, I had stuck to my conviction and now here I was, visiting Levi's family.

It was early in the morning, I had told Levi that I'd leave early because I had something to do before I'd go to work, and he bought me that (so it seemed and it wasn't a lie of mine anyway).

Exciting anticipation gradually filling me up, my grin grew as I neared the front door. I was so close to finally get to know how Levi used to look like when  he used to be younger.

Since it was still around the time where people would wake up or get themselves ready, I was certain that Levi's adoptive parents hadn't left for work yet—despite of running a company.

This was my chance.

If I just got familiar with Cassie, I'd be able to get what I wanted. All mothers and mother figures loved to rave about their children and memories linked to them, so they would most gladly show people old pictures of their children. My plan was simple and trivial. Given the circumstances and my timing, it was unlikely for something to get in my way or go wrong.

Levi, my dear. As much as I love you, please let me have a look at your pretty younger face.

Having reached the door by now after walking up the broad path leading to it, passing by the gracefully kept garden and stepping into the shadow that the grand living emitted in the sunrise, I pressed down the door bell. To hell with my fingers fidgeting in excitement, but frankly speaking I couldn't blame them nor myself.

It was just a matter of Mrs Magnolia being as kind as to do me my one and only and desperate favour.

The door was opened by a red-haired person and I found myself in a state of relief assuming that it was the person in question. However, as the door creaked farther open and the figure unblurred to vision from the dull shadow seeping through the entrance hall, my eyes eventually caught differences that made me doubt to believe the person in front of me was the one I sought out.

Smaller in height than I had kept it in mind and wearing two messy ponytails instead of having her hair combed flat, I was encountered with a glimmering smile.

"Oh. Hi, Eren! What a nice surprise to see you here!" Isabel's shrill voice echoed in my head.

Well, shit. My plan was already failing before it had even been executed.

"Hey, Isabel." I said, faint confusion marking my voice. One of my brows twitched upwards as I asked her cautiously, "Don't you have to go to university? Why are you here and not in the dorms by the campus in the first place?"

Isabel answered in the most natural and a matter-of-fact way possible. "It's almost winter break, so most of my classes are already on pause. That's why I've already moved back to my old home to spent my free time here. Today I have only one afternoon class."

"Why are you already up so early though?"

Even to this she had a plausible explanation. Her enthusiastic grin didn't fade. "I'm studying for my exams. Together with Farlan, he's helping me with my studies."

"I see." I gave an understanding nod, but it came more stiffly and rather forceful than intended. Maybe not everything was wasted yet, I thought. Without any more meanderings, I tried to get back to my original plan somehow, though with some slight alterations.

"Is your mother home? I'd like to have a little talk with her." Even though I wouldn't like to have Isabel eavesdrop on the conversation between Cassie and me – which she would totally do –, I couldn't change that anymore and lastly accepted it reluctantly.

"Nope. She and Richard already left for work."

Great. Now it was offical: Mission failed.

If one listened very closely, one could hear my low whine that whirled deep in my throat, barely a few tones ambitious enough to crawl up and spill through my pressed lips. I had my jaw tightened and gouged invisible holes into Isabel's face, eyes not focused on anything.

Her head cocked to the side, resembling the tilt of a bird. Or dog. "Are you alright?"

Moments passed before I straightened my body, set my eyes on Isabel's big ones and released a quiet sigh.

The bigger part of me didn't want to show and accept defeat, which meant that I had to opt for a plan B. Perhaps Isabel was just as kind as her mother and would do me the favor.

"Say, you, Farlan and Levi have probably taken lots of pictures when you were younger, right?"

"Of course!" she cried happily. "We've taken tons and most of them are saved in albums here at home."

Good, good. That was good to hear. "I see. Well, then... Would you mind giving me one or two of those pictures? I'd like to take them home to Levi and I's home." Radiating an innocent smile at her, I inwardly hoped for the best.

But Isabel fell into a silence for a long while. With every passing second she made me more and more insecure, and slight panic leapt into my body because I feared now that I had picked up a sensitive topic—which shouldn't be the case with what Levi had told me yesterday.

"A photo?" Isabel questioned inquiringly.

"Yes." The expression I wore had become blank from insecurity.

Isabel crossed her arms. "I see." Her tone was impish and superior. "Did Levi give you permission to pick up some of his pictures?"

There was a little silence which I shouldn't have allowed to sprawl because it only rose more suspicion. The remaining question was how well Isabel could figure out things.

"Y-Yes, he did."

"You stuttered." Isabel pointed out rapidly.

"No, I didn't!"

"I see what you're playing here." Her arms ascended to the front of her chest, crossed them, and she rolled her eyes playfully as a victorious smirk adorned her features. "But no. I won't give you anything. These are big bro's pictures and there's a reason why he left all of them here. No permission, no pictures. It's as simple as that. Actually, big bro wouldn't task you with something like this anyway, since he'd rather collect them himself."

The self-confidence she had attached to her behaviour irritated me noticeably. I stared at her with an expressionless face at first. "Just give me some pictures!" I snapped at her crudely at last.

"Nope." She cocked her chin up and shifted her face to the side, standing with crossed arms.

Weighing up whether to go on with that aimless discussion or giving up didn't satisfy me nor did I know what else to do. So with fists clenched in despair and face frowned with anger, I silently shot a glare at Isabel who didn't appear affected by my pathetic way of pleading her to do me the favor. She shrugged her shoulders once and grinned at me.

Suddenly a little idea grazed my mind and in no more than a split of a second I thought of it as a good way to succeed my plan, but at the same time I couldn't estimate how high the chances were of getting what I wanted.

If you don't try out, you'll never find out.

"Okay. Alright. Fine." I said in a more peaceful tone now, appearing as though I had calmed down. Even a little smile was lurking around my lips and I beamed at Isabel. As I did so, I also took some steps back, descending the porch by the front door. I went on with my soft words. "You're right. It is wrong of me to demand such a thing. Don't mind me. I'll discuss the matter with Levi."

"You should have done that beforehand." Isabel retorted, hissing at me.

Oh, trust me. I did.

"Right. My apologies." I placed a hand on the back of my head and gave out a short laughter.

Then I went silent and observed Isabel's actions with a hard and peering gaze. Her back facing me now as she turned to get inside, I took that opportunity, sprang up the stairs with one swift jump and passed her in the threshold, enforcedly pushing her away.

"Hey, wait!" I heard her stern shout from behind.

Finally inside, I didn't waste a second to sprint to the stairs to the second floor and head for Levi's old room.

"Farlan! There's a burglar in our house!"

If I hadn't been busy right now, I would have laughed at that statement. However, there had been some irony in her words.

Even though I had been here only once, I fortunately had kept in mind where Levi's room was again and allowed myself in, letting the door fly open as my very own humble self entered it. Sighing out big huffs, my gaze whisked across the room as I mentally placed myself in Levi's position to grasp where someone like him would hide pictures he didn't care much about.

While I hadn't given much attention to that when visiting Levi's family – and with that his room –, I noticed this time that there wasn't one single picture or framed photo of himself put on a wall or placed on a surface anywhere in this room.

Somewhere in between, my mind worked over the memory of that one particular and significant thing that hat happened here as well during my first visit which had basically changed everything between Levi and me after that, but I was quick at bringing myself to get rid of that thought.

Not now. This was not the right time to think about this.

Pinching the sides of the bridge of my nose with my fingers, I took a deep breath and dashed my eyes open to engage myself to my actual plan.

Again, my eyes surveyed the room and eventually I turned my body around to search everywhere with my eyes in order to find out what place would be the perfect choice to hide something.

Just when I roamed my meticulous glare over the door, sweeping over to the shelf next to it, someone came through that door into the room and I shrieked (if my sense weren't tricking me, I had done so loudly) when Farlan hastened to me, glaring at me in a hostile way. My heart stopped for a long moment, it was unhealthy and freezing the blood in my body with fright, and only now did I realize that he had a baseball bat swung above his head, ready to strike.

"Wait! It's just me!" I screamed and stumbled backwards, almost falling on my backside.

When Farlan realized that it had been in fact me and not some repugnant stranger on his way to steal things from them, his face softened from one second to the other, peace and his usual kind expression waving over his face.

"Oh, it's just you." he eventually stated, halted apruptly, lowered his "weapon" and placed a hand on his hips, smiling at me. As if nothing of this had happened just now.

"Yeah." I breathed out harshly. "And you almost beat me with that thing!" Horrified, I scowled at him madly.

"My bad. But Isabel said there was a thief in here, and I of course had to equip myself with something to take the intruder down. Who knows what weapons he would carry." His easygoing voice and attitude caused me to fume and twitch. Farlan shifted his head to the corridor behind him and shouted. "It's not a burglar, Isabel! It's just Eren."

"Don't let him fleeeeeeeeee!" We heard her screech and then her figure appeared in front of our eyes and before I could even do something against whatever kind of stupid idea popped into her mind, I was already tackled by her to the floor, face first, Isabel laying on top of my back.

"What are you doing there?!" I spat, hopelessly trapped.

"C'mon, Isa. Don't be so rough with him." From the corner of my eye I could see Farlan shake her shoulder. "What did he do wrong anyway?"

"He wanted one of Levi's old pictures, but I told him that he isn't allowed to have them and then he tried to get them himself forcefully and shamelessly allowed himself into Levi's room without our or big bro's consent!" She wound her arms around my head, established a firm grip around it and pulled it back achingfully.

"Isabel! Let go of me! That hurts!" A fist of mine slammed on the floor.

"That's what it's supposed to do!"

"Your breasts are squeezing against my back."

"I don't care!"

After what felt like minutes my head was finally free again. Farlan had managed to get her off me, it appeared so.

Finally feeling some weight diminishing from the top of my back, I breathed out in relief, only to be squished again shortly after.

This time pressure was holding me down around my lower back.

"What the..." I whipped my head back and saw Farlan sitting on top of me, eyes glinting mischievously at me. "Farlan, why?!" I whined desperately. I had already reached that point that I regretted executing my plan, no matter what, especially when knowing that the most important part of it wasn't even in reach and while I was aware of it, I ignored it and this was what I would get as punishment I guess.

Very clever of you, you insufferable idiot, I could literally hear my own self.

"Did no one ever tame your wild behaviour before?" Voice casual, Farlan took out his phone and dialed a number.

"Don't approach me with that kind of shit. Get off me!" Ridiculous how Farlan had pinned me down only from one little part of my body and yet I couldn't free myself.

I struggled through his grasp for a while, pushing myself up by my hands but it was no use. Slacking off and slouching back to the floor, right cheek placed on the cool surface, I sighed sadly in defeat. "Isabel, Farlan. I'm sorry." I tried. "I just wanted to know how little Levi looked like. That's not a crime!" Switching my eyes from Farlan to Isabel repeatedly, I sulked pleadingly, but the most I got was Isabel sticking her tongue at me as she looked down at me. "You two have a really stiff attitude, you know that?!" I attacked them verbally, pissed off.

"That's not true." Farlan started.

And Isabel continued. "We're just loyal to big bro."

My eyes shot up to the ceiling as I growled lowly. Then I heard Farlan talk to someone on his phone.

"Come here and pick up your wild pet." he said.

"I'm not his pet!" Barking viciously, I sent Farlan a death glare. I got back an amused smile.

My temporary disdain for him was interrupted by Isabel removing the cap of a pen. "Well, now that you were as mean as to disturb me during my studies, I'll just use your face as canvas to do my practices on." She lowered herself to my level, pen ready to draw on me. Isabel grinned spitefully, and enjoyed the tease thoroughly.

My eyes widened in horror. "Is that a permanent marker?!" With that little bit of mobility left, I attempted to draw my head, especially my face, back from her.

"Maybe~" she replied, and it raised my hopelessness even more.

"What the fuck, Isabel! Don't do that!"

"I'm just joking. It's non-permanent." She giggled. All I could do was let this happen, but deep down in my heart I wished for immediate rescue from this misery that could have been prevented if I hadn't been such a selfish idiot.

Closing my eyes, I mewled a last prayer. "Please. At least don't draw a dick on my face."

"That, Eren, is a very good idea."

Although I had partly lost my sense of time and orientation after some time of laying on the floor like a helpless prey, meditating in vacuo resignation, eyes blanky gazing straighforward with no aim or the slightest twitch, I waited with atrocious impatience for Levi to pick me up from this silent punishment. Silent in the literal sense. Isabel was really sketching on my face, brows creased in deep concentration; all the while a minute sly curve of her lips was presented to me. Meanwhile, Farlan would converse with his sister here and there, but other than that he let her be; let her vandalize my face.

I didn't know what to expect when Levi finally came to my vision, right in front of my face. He had gone down to his knees – wrinkling and dusting his neat and exquisite grey suit with that – tilted his head to the side to be on same level with me, our stares now on equal height. He was frowning, but he didn't appear to be mad. Just... confused.

"Eren, what are you doing there?" he sounded genuinely concerned and confused, but at the same time his voice called out a lack of understanding.

"Hey." I stretched out the word, guiltily, mouth apart and wide as an anomaly of an insecure laughter scurried up my throat which felt surprisingly dry and coarse now that I had to explain myself to him, especially after only one day when Levi had most likely been sure that the issue wouldn't be picked up again this soon.

Levi ordered Farlan to get off me. He did so and I could finally breath freely, without feeling a pressure on my back.

My mood altered to bliss and pleasant delight at the fact that Levi helped me up, taking my hands, and I didn't let go of them. Not even when we were both at our feet again, making eye contact that didn't break betwixt.

While I was shimmering a content smile at him, for the time being shooting the actual reason for this incidence to oblivion, Levi was giving me a weird look, eyes scanning one side of my face accurately and with puzzlement creasing the skin around his narrowed eyes.

And then I finally got it. "What did Isabel draw on my face?" I asked, but didn't want to know the answer.

Even if Levi was responding in a casual and nonchalant voice, I knew that this was irrelevant to the question of how bad my face looked because he could just as well describe a murder or a porn in the same way. "Well, there are some motives of nature and sacrednesses; parts of a human face—such as lips and eyes; an impersonated moon as well as stars and flowers." One eye already squeezed shut for that one particular thing to be uttered by him, I wondered why he didn't say it because he had paused, as if nothing were to come anymore. Though his pause was just because he looked closer at Isabel's creation and it appeared he found another major thing. "Oh, and there is a dick."

A sigh of a pained growl seethed through my lips and I dropped my head, covering the scribbled half of my face.

"It's not as bad as it appears," Levi tried soothingly and shuffled me into his arms. I returned the hug gladly, nodding and sniffing in a dramatic way. "I'm sure we can wipe it off easily. We can, can't we, Isabel?" His tone now two octaves lower, grumbling dangerously as it was directed at her. He didn't bother to look at Isabel, for he stood with his back facing her.

I was the one who had clear sight of Isabel and now it was me who stuck out my tongue at her.

She played dumb, but grinned as her eyes skimmed the ceiling. "Um, I don't know. Mayb—"

"Don't even try going there." Levi broke her words and didn't drop his snarling voice yet.

"Okay, okay. Fine. Of course it's washable."

"Heh, are you kidding me, Levi? This seems as though Eren is the innocent one here." Farlan's face was twisted with merciless vengeance and his eyes blazed a mischievous grey-gold and so was his smile. "Why won't you ask him what he's doing here in the first place?"

I threw wrathful death glares at him. Of course Farlan wouldn't miss the opportunity to display me as the bad guy in front of Levi. I knew what I had done – tried to do –, but it was really uncool of him to point out my problematic action.

As Levi unraveled himself from our hug, I continued glowering at Farlan until Levi was facing me and hence I weaved my gaze at him, attempting at best to cover my face with an innocent expression.

"Yeah, he is right. What are you doing here?" Levi questioned. Considering that Levi perhaps was just pretending to be oblivious, he performed his act flawlessly of knowing of nothing.

"Eh... uh," I blabbered out, my stammering going on for a ridiculous and embarrassing while, eyes being averted to the side before I confessed in a heat of guilt, which I could have oppressed but didn't because that would have meant to tell Levi only the half truth—or a pathetic excuse. My cheeks glazed a deep shade of red, establishing a contrast of temperature between my head and the rest of my body. "I-... I j-just wanted to take a picture of you. Sorry, but I couldn't detain myself. Don't be angry with me, okay? I don't get why you are against photos of yourself being hung on our wall, Levi. It doesn't matter if you used to be small compared to others. So what? We all used to be small at some point. Is that really the reason? I mean..." I halted and leered my eyes away from him, his harmless and expressionless look somehow intimidated me. Perhaps it was the silence because Levi didn't bother intervening my soliloquy. "Don't you want to look at a picture of your past self to remind yourself of the times you felt actually good and comfortable with the people around you?"

"I told you already that I don't have to look at pictures for that." The way he replied, so monotonous, crabbed a mark of disappointment into the depth of my chest; where my heart was.

"I see." I retorted sheepishly. The tranquil atmosphere brought by me hung heavy above our heads, which made me consider to just drop the matter or else I'd make it only worse when there was no end for it anyway.

Levi raised my head from under my chin. There was a twitch at the corner of his mouth, the only sign of him producing what common people would call a smile. "Geez, stop being so gloomy please, will you? I still don't understand why it is so important for you. I hope you don't mind explaining it to me later. Now get rid of that melancholic expression, I want to show you something. Of course, only if you want me to." He held out a hand to me and glancing quickly at him, his promising words waking some sort of hope inside me, I flashed a smile and grasped his hand.

Levi led me out of his old room. We passed by Farlan and Isabel who had been silent prior and still were. Both were smiling as well and Isabel patted my scribbled cheek as I glided past her.

At the end of the floor, Levi opened a room that looked like a storage room. A big and spacious storage room, which was unusual. Perks of being wealthy, huh?

"What is this room?" My eyes swept over the place. Many cupboards, some boxes piled on the floor, shelves plunged with random stuff and spare supplies that were useful and necessary to do chores. But, to my surprise, they had even put a couch in here and there was even a little wash basin. Also a table with chairs.

"I can tell you what it's not. We could never agree on what to call it, but we decided to call it a room where one could not sleep in." Levi headed for one of the cupboards, opened a drawer, rummaged in there before he took out a photo. He displayed it to my general direction without creating eye contact with me, and simply said, "Here."

I hurried to Levi, joining alongside to him in a matter of a few big steps and grabbed the picture. A ridiculous big grin spread over my face as I looked at the photo that succeeded in captivating me due to its nostalgic beauty. It was a family photo. Cassie and Richard positioned behind their children, smiling warmly into the camera. In front of them were – from left to right – Levi, Isabel and Farlan aligned. One of Richard's hands was resting on Farlan's left shoulder who was giving a smug and pleased look. Isabel looked as though she was the perfect definition of a sunshine, that was how brightly her face was beaming. And then there was Levi. Cassie's right hand leaning on his shoulder to complete the other side opposite of Richard and Farlan. He looked... small, there was no denial to it. But that was totally alright because it didn't make him less worth of a human being. He had his arms crossed and was scowling at the camera lense, as if there was no tomorrow left to express annoyance, hate and complaints altogether.

"This is so adorable!" I exclaimed, awestruck and elated.

"I knew you would say something like that." Levi closed the drawer with a sigh.

"Levi, this is the purest thing I've ever seen! Look at yourself, this is so beautiful!" I warbled, and couldn't take my eyes off the picture yet. Not now. I wasn't done admiring it.

"Yeah, I know, right? That was Levi during his emo phase." Farlan spoke casually as he stood by the doorway, Isabel next to him.

"Shut the fuck up, I had never gone through an 'emo phase'." Levi snapped. He granted his big brother with one of his infamous glares.

"Yeah, yeah. Of course not." Farlan giggled to his own sarcasm which broiled the anger within Levi. But it didn't come as far as to an argument because right after that they left us alone, Isabel having bidden farewell by waving at us.

"It's okay. That doesn't matter. I used to be very special and especially quirky and obnoxious, too. That doesn't play an important role now. Important is that I have this here." Carefully and slowly, I raised that picture to my face, holding it close to the front of my mouth and nose. "It does belong to me, doesn't it? You gave it to me, so I can frame it and savour it by placing it somewhere in our room where it's visible to me—to us. Right?!" Mouth agape, eyes wide with sparkling glee, I embodied the distinguishing counterpart of Levi's being who couldn't omit the same excitement as me at all—not even remotely close.

"Do whatever you want to do with that photo." he eventually voiced, stressing each word by taking pauses in between. This was enough to make my day today and I was certain it would often bring a smile to my features even when it was a week later. Squealing internally, my gaze was glued to the family picture again, scutinizingly, taking in every small detail that I could absorb with my meticulous eyes.

Levi was an exception, but other people around me would call me weird or my actions exaggerated, if they saw me like that. However, no one of them could understand why a picture of Levi's adolescence meant a lot to me. That he told me about himself, his truest and most vulnerable side, was one thing. But entrusting me part of himself with a physical memory of it was an honour to me. I wanted to be everything to him.

Because all of him should become all of me.

My heartbeat accelerated, thumping fiercer, and I was stuck in a vortex of happiness, encapsulating myself in it, so that it was sheer impossible for my body to function properly if it wasn't for an outsider to tear me apart from my daydream and gawk, full in love.

"Sit down there. I'll clean your face. I can't look at that grotesque dick anymore." Levi had turned around, busying himself with the contents of one of the drawers again. He had jutted a thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the sofa. "I don't know what it was that made Isabel draw a dick on your face in such a picturesque way, but it's becoming annoying. Even, no, especially for you. Right, Eren?"

I hummed at him, registering only half of the things he said as I sat down on the cushioned seat, picture held dearly between my fingers. Finally I shifted my eyes at Levi and got them parted slightly when I got a glimpse of the thing Levi had taken out of the drawers.

"You have wet wipes here?" I asked with disbelief, although the answer was presented right in front of my eyes.

Levi took one wipe out and his body went still, the white wet tissue clasped between thumb and pointer finger as he turned his head to me, saying "Sure." in a casual way, as if it was the most normal thing ever. "One can never have enough wet wipes at home. I've taught that my family when I started caring more about cleanliness.

He approached me, sat down and I positioned myself on his thighs as soon as the opportunity was given, and Levi didn't mind. While I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, dedicating myself to admiring Levi's picture, as if I was star-gazing, that was how it felt like to me, Levi used the wipe to clean my ink abused face. He used fast and precise movements to get the sketches out of my face, but he made sure not to rub my skin raw, treating it like a valuable antique.

"With this picture here we're one step farther from perfecting our relationship." I claimed, grinning big to the idea of it.

Levi's hand stilled on my face. He gave me a puzzled look. "Is that so?"

Examining his face, I spotted a nervous flicker in his orbs and he was blinking more than usual. Our exchange of stares replaced a verbal conversation, but I didn't get what exactly had brought us to this tensed situation. So I just nodded to his question.

"I see." Levi breathed out in a whisper and continued wiping the remaining black stains off my cheek. But this time he was doing it more slowly.

Bending my brows, mildy confused, I didn't take my eyes off Levi and tried to find out what was going on in his mind. His facial expression revealed only little to nothing and he didn't bother returning my stare, for he seemed to care about no more than the black colour on my skin that didn't belong there.

"Is there something wrong?" Eventually asking him that, I hoped for a more telling answer rather than some wasted and empty words that held no meaning in themselves.

"Yes, your face."

I got what I hadn't asked for.

But I didn't linger on that any longer after that.

And yet...

At that time, I had wished to know what thoughts had roamed his mind.

~~~

With Levi's picture framed up and decorating our bedroom, our coexisting life retracting to ordinary standards and we let things be as they came, as long as they didn't unwrapped themselves as a harm.

However it was on a day past afternoon, when I was already home from work, that something happened that would test our bond which had already been the case a few times before.

I was settled down on the couch in the living room, cross-legged, reading a book with my back bend forward, chin placed on my palm that was propped on my left knee. My day after work would often yield as such, for I usually needed to relax first when I got home. Needed to make it myself comfortable and cozy.

Not the door opening but being shut awfully harsh was what perked me up, ripped my eyes apart from the page I had been currently on, and out of reflex my head swung to the source of the noise.

I straightened my back, interest piqued, and spotted a deeply frowning Levi who was taking of his jacket and shoes angrily. As if he pooled all the negative emotions to that particular act.

"I assume work didn't go well? Or why else are you mad?" With a wary but also soft voice, I attempted to graze the problem - like a newborn getting used to his new environment - , all the while I observed Levi's reaction. His face didn't loosen, but it didn't distort wholly with pure loathing either. He was simply angry with someone or something. Nothing unusal. "You don't have to tell me if you don't wanna." I clarified after a time of not getting an answer from him.

Levi rasped a breathy growl as he interlocked eyes with me, his frigid orbs staggered me as intensity lounged through my skull, but it wasn't like intimidation had managed to take hostage of me. Instead, I had engraved it to my mind to release Levi from his anger. For that, I guessed that talking would be the optimal solution.

So as he continued scowling glares into the room, I sent him an understanding smile and patted the seat beside me. Before, I had put my book away and have already reached that mental point where my skills of calming people down with my words were required. At least I hoped it'd work. Normally it would be the other way around and the possibility of me raging together with Levi – instead of doing the opposite – wasn't very low.

A deep sigh later Levi had sat down beside me, plumping down gruffly and indifferent about any kind of manners right now. An airy wave of nicotine wafted to me, applying that Levi had smoked quite a few cigarettes on his way home.

"I'm back." he murmured lowly, the anger cladding his voice rang out.

A hint of a smile crawled up the left corner of my lips. "Welcome home." Perhaps this was a good start.

"Yeah, I'm fucking stressed, okay?! That's not hard to guess, I think." Levi didn't meet my eyes, albeit his yelling wasn't directed at me anyway. His fingers combed through his hair roughly once before they stilled on his temples, petite massaging movements kneaded his head as a his brows squelched exceedingly over his closed eyes. Seeing him like this had an upsetting effect on me so I brainstormed about possible ideas on how to relieve the mood. But words left Levi's mouth earlier than mine. He went on ranting. "I can't believe it. How could my day at work end up like this? Everyone was getting on my nerves with their stupidity. Co-workers couldn't get much work done properly today; clients asked for impossible things and didn't accept a decline; deadline were pushed forward which made it really hard for me to do my work decently and efficiently in that pile of a mess! God, I'm so fucking done!"

To some extent, I could emphasize with him. I as well had memories of bad days at work; everyone had had them at some point. Of course it was only understandable that Levi was most likely glad to be at home, and I made it to my goal to spoil him and ease him. "That must have sucked. How about w—"

"So fucking done." Levi meditated to himself, momentary staring at the ceiling. "What I need and want now is a good stress relief."

My heart twisted and skipped a beat.

"Yeah." His expression had softened noticibly, as though he was already thinking of something. "Fuck work, I can deal with that shit tomorrow. A good stress relief would indeed be perfect right now."

I didn't process when it was that I fell into a freeze, cold chills speeding up my spine and causing my skin to curl with goosebumps as my eyes had parted horribly at that one certain eerie thought my shitty brain had produced just now—which I needn't and honestly didn't want to care about at all. And yet the mere thought of it made me useless and motionless, staring blankly at a fixed point on Levi's thigh.

Stress relief?

There was nothing wrong with that, but it didn't change the fact that part of my mind took a direction by the mention of this when being associated with Levi who had said it.

Levi didn't want... no, he wouldn't, right? My...

And before I knew it I found myself trapped in a hollow shell of anxiety.

"Say, Eren..." Only now did Levi turn around to me, and it was a matter of a second for me to realize that he shouldn't have done so.

The moment I sensed my body wincing at his words made me deteste myself for that. Own heart playing insane once more, I rose my attention to him. "Y—Yes."

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I shouldn't have done that! I shouldn't have reacted like this! This was awful.

Alarmed by this, Levi's upper body straightened up. His face showed off pure concern, there was nothing else to be seen. And most importantly: The way he looked at me fused guilt with my blood; like poison scalding and stinging my soul.

"You startled." he pointed out what I had regretted the instant I did it. His voice was what reached the depths of my self and clawed at me.

Desperately, seeing no other way out, I refused to verify the obvious. "N-No, I didn't. I-I didn't." Shaking my head vigorously, I didn't take my eyes off him, observed him, but only spotted a Levi who was attempting to figure out where my sudden and unexpected behaviour stemmed from.

"You did. You did flinch." Levi broke the distance between us and was as close as possible by my side, leaning forward. "Why did you react like that? Tell me."

As he was trying to take my hands, I raised them to my chest and turned away. A shallow vacant smile sneaked up my lips, but it was totally out of place right now. As if I could fool Levi with that. "It's nothing serious, really. I had just been in deep thoughts, that's it."

"There was something bugging you, right?"

"It's nothing. Nothing important or worth to be mentioned. Just nonsense."

"Eren." Levi attempted a second time to grasp my hands and hold them dearly, and this time I let him. "Look at me. Please." There was shame and guilt cursing my face with red cheeks and heated my ears, and I had to put much effort to bear eye contact with Levi. Teeth pressing down on my bottom lip, almost tearing it open, I waved my gaze slowly at him to which I got an agitated glance back. Levi tugged my hands farther towards his chest, being cautious and tender. "Nothing is nonsense when it is about your well-being. There's something I had said or done just now that made you react like this. Please tell me what it was. Why did you startle?" That I didn't answer because of my words revelling in my throat, willful, all I was able to do was to open my mouth only to close it again when nothingness was released. Even worse was how I had to swallow thickly, since there was some kind of lump joining the unspoken words in my throat. Both ate at me like parasites. "Please, Eren." His genuine begging voice did things to me I didn't know how to feel about. "I want to understand you."

Those words swirled the haunting thoughts in my mind and they roamed in such a way as if they woke me up from a gloomy daydream.

He wanted... to understand me...

Understanding and support. Things I had a special connection to because they held a significant meaning in my life. After everything I experienced, I could even go as far as to say that I and understanding and support interdepended.

"When..." I drew out of my lips, surprised at how raspy I sounded. "When you mentioned stress belief, I was unwillingly remembered by... our... the time before our relationship when... when a situation where you were stressed or annoyed was usually followed by me..." I could sense my inner self scorning me for my inability to finish my sentence. Hell, I was unable to form one coherent sentence in the first place. "Sorry. I just didn't want to remember..."

I freed my hands from Levi's grasp and was about to bury my head in them, but Levi didn't let me, stroked one of my cheeks as I dedicated myself again to averting my gaze.

"Eren."

Like a spell, his voice reached my ears. Trailed inside my head and sullied my mind as a kind of possession. And not much later I was scooted closer to Levi by his hands that shoved me carefully, holding my hips. We had been physically close to each other before, but now my legs laid next to each side of his waist on the sofa. I was practically wrapping myself around his waist; not sitting on his lap, but was really close to, that was how close he had brought me to him. Hands limp at my sides, I peered from the corner of my eyes and spotted Levi's face leaning close to me; until his lips brushed my right cheek, placing a chaste kiss there. Then I felt his warm breath next to my ear.

"You thought I was going to try to persuade you to having sex with me because of the load of stress I wanted to get rid of?"

Again shivers rushed up my body, but this time it was triggered off by Levi's closeness that evoked a sense of trust and safety in me.

Eventually I actually felt strong and brave enough to wrap my arms around Levi's neck and look him deep in the eyes as everything else around us spun in a way that it was sent to oblivion for the time being; only Levi and I existed right here and right now.

"I didn't say I thought that. In fact, I didn't. I was just reminded of... Pathetic, I know."

"No, it isn't." Levi insisted promptly, and his hold around my waist tightened. Just like that, we savoured the moment by solely exchanging looks in utter silence. Let alone the fact that I was on the brink of suffering from muteness because of the prior incident that wasn't talked over yet tucked at my nerves, and the anxious feeling of becoming more clueless about how to deal with the situation increased exponentially.

I sighed in exhaustion, and it didn't go unseen by Levi.

"Listen," His tender hands travelled down my thighs to my knees, lingered there before they made their way back, feeling more sensitive on my clothed skin when they traced their way a second time on my legs. Though instead of going back to my waist, Levi spread his fingers to rest his hands on the sides of my thighs, his thumbs occasionally drawing circling movements on my sweatpants. His gaze fell down to my thighs, then to my stomach, my chest, neck and finally he stared back into my eyes, which emerald colour was probably dreary and desolate from my internal – my emotional – fatigue. I thought that listening to Levi's words that were vocalized next would be everything I needed right now, no matter what the meaning behind them would be, but the instant his words left his mouth – so beautifully said and loving – I could sense my inner worth and pride sprouting. "Your body is worth of love and eternal preciousness. I've used it too much for my own satisfaction, but I know now that this was wrong. Wrong and disrespectful of me. And I'm sorry for that."

"I'm not entirely innocent in this, though. After all I let you do those things to me. The whole time I had been aware of what I had agreed to."

Levi was caught in a short silent, but his body stirred then. His hands did that stroking movement again and they halted on the same spot on my upper legs as before. Meanwhile, I had readjusted my hold around his neck. Had enclosed him with my arms even more.

"I want to appreciate you in very way possible. Give you everything I never conveyed to you before because of my indifference and inability to do so."

Levi's hand reached up to my face and brushed a single strand away from my forehead and his fingers entangled themselves in my hair. My eyelids fluttered to that feathery touch and I could hear my own heartbeat throbbing frantically.

Actually there was no reason for me to panic from an anxiety attack. Sex shouldn't be a tabooed issue between us. After all Levi and I used to fuck several times a week and I had given myself and my body to him shamelessly and willingly time and again, so it should be an implausible option to argue with being too timid or intimidated to uncover myself in front of him. So many times did I submit myself to him. Offered my body in return of staying by his side. It had been sex without feelings being considered on Levi's side, but since things have changed now this was actually nothing to waste a thought on. A part of my life had ended and I had started a new section with the person I love and who, I hoped, would feel the same in some sort of way. However, there was that irrational part of me that couldn't dismiss the past that easily. It used this sensitive vulnerability to fuel my insecurity about the question of when to have sex again.

And with every new load of insecurity, I sunk deeper into the conviction that I couldn't move on. My numbness and stagnation were a hindrance to our relationship; an obstacle that still had to be crushed down.

"It's not like I'm against pointless sex or using sex as stress relief." After what seemed like infinity, I had finally pulled myself as much together as to being able to speak out intelligible and reasonable words. Mind cleared again for most of the part, only a few clouds left fogging parts of my brain, every fiber of my senses were merged and used to make me function again. Heart beat throttling, goosebumps flattening, a profuse amount of hormones dashing through my blood. "We can still have those, but..." It was unclear to me why a little blush of shame would paint my cheeks now, but it did. "I want to do it whenever I feel like doing it. Not only when you're feeling like it. I have always submitted myself to you and given you everything you wanted anytime. I didn't mind because I loved you, even though my love wasn't returned. Now my love for you is more vivid than ever before, so I prefer my body not to get used like that one of a whore's."

In that expansion of stillness that reeled up, I prayed that Levi understood my point. Tender sex, rough fucking, doing it outside the privacy of our home; blowjobs, handjobs, sex as entertainment, sex as boredom killer, sex as stress relief; all these were things I wouldn't disagree with, but I didn't want them to be the same as they used to prior.

"I'll never ever use your body again for my own advantages. I'll only touch you when you want me to."

Oh. Now that he said it, I remember having told him that I wasn't ready to have sex with him yet. Nothing about that had changed up until now, and – judging from my own perspective – it would remain as that for a while; I couldn't define a time span for "for a while". I chewed on my bottom lip. "It has been such a long time since we were last intimate. To be honest, sometimes it is still unbelievable for me that certain things led me to treat my body chastely and untouched. Perhaps you've become tired of me by now."

"That's not true. Don't even think about that." Levi retorted; severe and resolved. If I had had enough strength, I'd have pulled up a smile, but all my mouth could form was a erratic twitch. Face laid between his hands, Levi directed my gaze, which had probed to trail off just now, to him. "Eren, your body isn't the reason I'm staying with you. Things are different now. You are the one who told me that over and over again. Didn't you?"

Unexpectedly, some sorts of positive emotions began to harbour in my chest and aroused motion around my lips.

Though, it leveled out to a hurt smile very quickly. "I don't know when I'll be ready to be intimate with me, though. I can't tell. I'm sorry."

"That's nothing you have to apologize for." A pause. "Eren," My name being called out by him threw me off my sanity and logic reasoning, and my brain floating in a lake of sensitivity. Closing my eyes, I sighed quietly, a moany tone escaping at most, and my blood prickled hotly.

"Yeah?" I hummed softly, brows lifting scarcely as I allowed myself to get carried away—momentarily blind and reckless.

Eren. Eren. Eren. God, let me hear more of your voice!

"Eren, I..." My eyes unleashed, and what they sighted flipped me back to reality in an instant. Levi looked attentive, full of concentration, with greyness glooming in his eyes like wild fire in the woods. His hands were retreated to my shoulder and I saw his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed thickly. He hesitated and struggled.

With expectations that evened my back to a straight line, I sensed the mood literally swapping and even though there hadn't come many hints from Levi, my inner self was revolving around one certain thought, only that one, as everything else lost its meaning in my head.

Yes. Yes, yes, yes. What do you want to tell me?

I watched him with big eyes, bright and pure and lucid and held him by his upper arms. Although remaining silent with my heart throbbing beind heard in the background of my head, I tried to tell him wordlessly that I would listen to anything he had to say. To anything he wanted to get off his chest. To anything he couldn't awake until now.

"I..." Levi tried again and slowly but certainly insecurity itself was showing off on his face by brows twitching and lips staying closed after a few attempts. Then, he sighed and with that he breathed out the ephemeral hope. "I'm hungry. Aren't you, too?"

My heart dropped to my stomach and it took me a while to understand what happened just now.

Levi backed down?

"Oh..." My throat felt dry, the words coming out fake and improvisatory. "Yeah... actually, yeah. Sorry, but I haven't cooked anything yet." It was hard for me not to notice that my voice was faltering with blame.

"I'll go and make us something." Levi rose to his feet and with no more than a few quick glances at me, as though he tried to avoid looking at my general direction, he walked away and steered to the kitchen.

I stayed still, observing his every movement. There wasn't an invisible hand – a reassurance, a savior in the misery – pulling at me and dragging me off the couch and towards Levi. Where was that motivation that was supposed to kick my ass and rip me off from my shameful behaviour?

I mustn't do nothing. I had to go there. Tell Levi that everything was alright. He didn't have to force himself to things he couldn't do or say yet. My love for him didn't vary depending on the display of affection he endowed me with.

And with that, I stumbled to my feet and rushed to the kitchen. At the doorway to the kitchen, I halted and my inner part whined.

That Levi pressed one fist against his eyesocket as the other one clawed into the counter, knuckles fading to a white, as if he was punishing and scolding himself, broke my heart; merely the sight of it made my chest bleed tears.

Impulsively, solely lead by primitive instincts, I hurried to him without wasting a second thought on in. I didn't care how I should approach him, but at the same time making plans was out of my current scope.

By framing my arms around him, tightly enough to transfer my body heat from under my clothes to him, I embraced Levi from behind and my lips pressed on his ear endearingly. "It's okay. It's fine. You don't have to say it."

Levi hadn't stirred much when I attacked him with my hug, but he did rearrange his composure the moment my presence reached him. Slightly tilting his head back at me, he grabbed one of my enclosing arms.

"Three words. Just... three words."

"Those three words are holding a very powerful and deep meaning. No one said it's easy to utter them out loud."

"But I've heard you saying it so many times now. Why can't I...?"

"Everyone is different in handling their feelings. Some are more open about them, others cautious or more restrained. Nevertheless, it isn't a misfortune or shame to be the one and not the other. Also, things might change in the future if you give it enough time."

Levi had listened to my words thoughtfully and nodded after that. "Okay."

To build up his confidence, I smudged a wet kiss on his cheek. "You are doing well."

He didn't give me a response to this, but instead he turned around and took my hand again, the same way as before, on the couch. "You can wait in the living room. Watching me cook is boring anyway."

Such a subtle note convoyed by his voice, but enough for me to grasp the meaning behind it.

This time it was me nodding. "Alright."

I respected it. I respected his decision of spending little time alone for himself right now. I'd open up paths to everything, if it meant to satisfy Levi's wishes with that. I took my steps backwards, letting go of him in the process and vanished back to the living room.

There, I wasted time cuddling myself into a blanket as I reflected my own thoughts on things that happened to scrape my mind. Before I knew it, the total silence and apathy made me tired, and with my head laying on a pillow I fell into a short sleep.

"I didn't know that I left such a bad influence on you. I'm sorry for making you go through deep struggles. I wish I knew a way to show you my regrets and apologies."

When I woke up from my light slumber, my senses fluttering between the realm of reality and illusion – eyelids jittering the same –, there were two things that caught me up first. One, these words which I couldn't categorize to reality nor to imagination yet. Two, a stroking finger on my cheek.

My gaze switched from one side to the othery, disorientated at first before I realized where I was, what I had been doing prior and what had happened in general at all. I squirmed in my sleeping spot, and Levi pulled his finger away from my face.

As much as I loved that tiny stroke of tenderness, something else struck my mind.

Those words just now... Were they real? Did Levi really...?

I raised myself to a sitting position, looked up to him, and saw pure blankness on his face. Right now, he wasn't revealing any emotions to me. I wondered why that was...

"Did you say something?" I asked as casually as currently possible, yawned and rubbed one eye.

I was staring into dull steel-grey nothingness before Levi's face warmed up. Though at that moment it was controversial to me how to interpret his contradicting behaviour.

His answer didn't dissolve the confusion.

"I said dinner is ready."

~~~

The next day at work I couldn't get my thought off yesterday's occurrences. There were things that I wanted to interrogate in my mind deeper and more thoughtfully, but I didn't find a good way to start with it nor did I have a clue where it would lead me to.

Early in my office, first thing I did was to sit comfortably on my office chair, legs crossed and resting on my desk, and my tablet pen balanced above my upper lip. With my arms crossed behind my head, I leant back in my seat, closed my eyes, wallowed in my own world.

Sometimes even a small hum would sound off, but most of the time I debated. Debated, debated, and debated even more.

Levi and I...

Our relationship...

Where in our relationship were we right now?

Was it good or was it bad?

Did I do my best at supporting him?

Did I do enough for him? For us?

Was it needed for me to input and invest more in our relationship?

All I wanted was for Levi to feel comfortable, especially around me, and reveal openly his feelings and thoughts to me.

Time passed, and I didn't make any progress from then on. Not spending many thoughts on it excessively was likely the best I guessed. In other words – not only because I thought so but also because it was my actual duty – I opted for doing my wor—

"Woah!" Suddenly, a nudge on my pen under my nose that caused it to fall off my face activated my reflexes rapidly and while my gaze was concentrated on the falling black pen, trying to catch it before it'd hit the floor, along the way the noise of work sheets being discarded from my desk by my feet filled the air.

It was on all my fours that I ended up in, the item resting on my cupped palms. I turned my head back to the whoever dared playing such a joke on me.

"Armin, my tablet pen almost dropped to the floor!" I hadn't moved from my narrow place, the pen protected by my hands as though it was the holy cross.

Armin shone a sunbright smile at me, the finger that flipped my pen over still raised high in the air. He giggled cutely. "You may have caught your pen, but instead more than half of the content on your desk is kissing the floor now."

"This is not funny!" Finally I scurried to my feet, wiping off any dust on my knees or shirt.

As I collected my sheets, Armin was lending me a hand. "I rarely see you this tensed and concentrated at work. Are you alright?"

I took the papers he gave me, placed them on my desk, flattening some of them, as if Armin hadn't asked me a question just now, breathed out a loud exhalation and then I eventually met eyes with him. "I'm totally fine. Was just in thoughts."

Of course Armin would take his time to weigh my answer and judge my behaviour from it. "Is everything alright between you and Levi?" Curiosity ghosted over his voice. Curiosity disguised as genuine concern. Or perhaps it was the other way around.

"Yeah," It was difficult to reply to something not even I could give myself a concrete answer to. But in the end, I was probably just overreacting. So I sparkled a honest smile at him. "Yeah. Everything is alright between us. We're doing well in our relationship. Making steps forward, you know."

Blinking once, Armin then returned my beaming expression. "That's good to hear."

"What are you doing in my office anyway?" I questioned after a short while, wondering, but couldn't think of a plausible reason.

"I knew you'd ask that; now that I saw what you did when you were supposed to work—together with me, actually. Today is the day we have to work on that project Mr Pixis assigned us with. Two companies are involved in this as our clients."

The penny has dropped. "Ohhhh, yeah. I remember now. That project. Fine, let's do this. Where?"

"I suggest to go to my office. I already have every necessary material set up. You just need to take your laptop, drawing tablet and your precious tablet pen with you."

"Don't mock me." The edges of my lips twitched to a smirk, the false expression since I had actually planned to sulk sadly.

Armin was making his way outside, I stepped up to him, and he rendered as lyrical as an actor in a Shakesperan play. "You had to look at yourself. Threw yourself onto the floor to save your small pen, as though it was as fragile as glass. And you caught it. Held it as if you were holding a baby in your arms." He obviously went too far because the way he hugged himself to underline his theatrical pose looked almost too hilarious.

"Chill, it's just a pen."

"Says the one who executed that rescue mission just now."

"You're being really mean, Armin. Why are you doing this to me?" I pretended to sniff.

Armin chuckled and held the door open for me.

"Brave men first." he waved a hand towards the corridor ahead of us.

"One more word and that project with you is history."

There was generous amusement visible on my face as I passed him, and Armin followed right after me.

During our project I'd find for sure something to get my revenge on him.

- - -

Levi

The girl had finally ended her soliloquizing speech. With expectant eyes, she stared at me; a bright colour of rosy amber speckling her pupils. She waited, had one hand placed on the other on the counter, and didn't express any more syllabe. I had to answer.

"Well, now this took quite a long time. You versed it very well, I guess." I hoped this was a decent first answer because there had been nothing more suitable that my brain could produce right now. "I will take them all. You still remember the amount I told you at the beginning?"

"Yes, of course." While her voice had sounded lively and serene a few minutes ago, she had gone back to talking with a professional and discreet tone.

"Alright. Oh, and give me a copy of those you enumerated just now. You don't expect me to have kept everything in mind, do you?"

"No, of course not. I will do that right away."

"Good." As she prepared my order, I used the time to take out my phone and send Eren a message.

There was a bit of hesitation at first, the haunting doubt howling above my head at occasional times—especially when it had a connection to Eren or our relationship; no matter to what degree. Just the mere thought of it had the power to smutch me with insecurity.

But that shouldn't be the case anymore from now on.

Breathing in and out deeply washed most worries away and I began writing my message.

'I'm going to pick you up from work today.'

That should do. After sending it, I spotted the lady staring at me again, still, silent, and she weaved a soft smile at me.

I raised one brow. "Is there something wrong?" I asked, casual, pocketing my phone.

She shook her head lightly. "No, not at all. Just..." Her eyes shot upwards as though they were searching for words on the ceiling. Then they settled on me. Honest and kind. "I wish you good luck."

There was a long period where I just stared at her expressionlessly, unsure of how to reply, or react, or feel.

So did that mean I needed luck with this...?

- - -

Eren

"Okay, and the other one wants high res vector graphics?"

"Yes." Armin answered naturally.

"Alright." My eyes flipped from the instructions on the paper to my laptop screen and I worked out the last refinements. All the while I had bounced off my surrounding almost completely, sometimes the blond colour of Armin's bob would catch my gaze, but that was basically it.

"You're slow, Eren."

"I am not! You're just too hard-working." I counterattacked, and - as though I hadn't been interrupted just now - brought my work to perfection. Not only did I want to perform very good results, but I also wanted to do so as fast as possible because unlike me Armin had already finished like half an hour ago, even though we had split up the work in an equal amount for both of us.

I waste a single stare to monitor what Armin was doing the last thirty minutes, but frankly speaking I could already guess at least one thing.

"Ha! Here, finished!" A victorious yell coming from me swelled up in the room. I threw my arms high in the air and cocked my head back.

"Congratulations." Oh, how much the implicit sarcastic undertone was mocking me. Armin had really fun jokingly ridiculing me today, huh?

I was about to send him a pointed glare, but my facial muscles softened as soon as I looked at the thing in his hands.

There on top of his palms lay a folded figurine.

Armin's huge smile beamed radiances. He tilted his head to the side in a way that had his right cheek almost touching the origami, his silky blond locks creating a pretty background to the folded piece of paper.

"It's a swan." he cooed happily and I didn't know it was possible for him to grin even wider.

This was one of Armin's habits. Whenever he had to wait for someone or something to happen, he'd grab anything that was remotely close to being folded properly that was within his reach and then he'd craft origami figures. This time he had used one of the yellow post-its on his desk.

I couldn't do else than to return his positive vibe, and without noticing it it appeared that I stared a bit too long because Armin registered that now.

"Are you okay? You look like you're trapped in an fancy daydream."

I winced lightly for a second, but composed myself right away. "Yeah, I'm fine." The look I received from him told me that he had some worries lef that he needed to clarify. So I did him that favor. "It's just... I'm glad that everything is alright between us again."

Armin tugged a few curls behind his ear that fell down right after. "And I'm glad to see you all fine. It seems you and Levi are on really good terms?"

"He is..." To my own surprise, I blushed faintly at this and showed off slight timidness. My tablet pen became a toy to be twirled and flipped over between my fingers. "He is the only one who can complete me. And right now I feel complete. I can finally say that my life is fulfilled, so to speak. There are some things that could sweeten our lives even more, but I'm not demanding them necessarily. I don't have to ask for more because I'm already satisfied. All I need is him."

"You said that so wonderfully." Armin murmured more to himself. Then his attention was back at our project. "Alright. You've finished, right? Good. Everything we had to have finished by today is finished. And..." Vibrant blue orbs turned to the clock. "just in time. It's time for us to go home."

"Yay!" I stretched myself, half-yawning.

Armin gathered his things, we went to my office after that to pick up my own ones, made a little halt at Sasha's desk to report our current update on our project and not much later we were dismissed.

It was in the entrance hall, close to the main entrance door that'd lead outside that I decided to check my phone as I'd usually do after work. Thousand wings of butterflies lapped against the inside of my stomach when I read Levi's name on my display, although I shouldn't get flustered when finding out that he'd sent me a message. This was certainly not the first time he did that and it wouldn't be the last time either.

"I got a message from Levi." We didn't stop walking as I stated this, Armin hummed in response, considerate, and I smiled at my phone before I opted for opening the text. My thumb had already been wafting over the screen when—

"There you are." Levi's head popped up from outside, appearing right in front of us. He had spoken fast and full with steadiness.

As a reaction, I jumped up at his sudden attack, let out a cry, and, instinctively, my arms wrapped themselves around something at arm reach for protection. That "something" happened to be Armin.

"Don't scare me like that!" I complained in a yell, holding tighter onto Armin who was lightly writhing under my rigid hold. But he also giggled.

Levi's gaze whipped from me to Armin and Armin to me repeatedly before he pulled up a perfect brow. "Oi, why are you hugging him? You should hug me." He approached us, took my arms away from Armin's shoulders and placed them on his own ones instead. In return, his hands snaked around my waist. There was an irritated scowl directed at Armin evident on his face at first, but it faded as hastily as it had appeared.

"Why are you here to pick me up? I mean, I don't mind of course, but it's rare for you to do that." I rearranged some locks above his forehead that looked a bit out of place where they hang down.

"You'll find out soon." was his short answer and with that I assumed it was pointless to ask for further details. Levi continued. "Let's go. I'm sure blondie c—"

"Armin." A growling sternness errupted from the depths of my throat. "His name is Armin." Feeling genuinely attacked, I beckoned to Levi to correct himself with my glare.

"O-Oh, it's okay, Eren." Armin meant, whitewashing.

"No, it isn't." I replied, and raised one brow at Levi, enough to tell him what I wanted to hear.

He rolled his eyes, sighed with annoyance which I couldn't understand at all because he wasn't the one allowed to be annoyed right now. "Fine. I'm sure that Armin can go home alone from here on. Right?"

Armin nodded at him eagerly as a smile lit up on his face. "Certainly. You two don't have to look after me. See you tomorrow, Eren."

"See ya."

He patted my shoulder once and dashed off mere seconds later.

"Let's go, too." Levi took me by my hand and lead me to his car that was parked right in front of the Pixis Corporation entrance. How on earth did he manage to get such a convenient parking lot?!

Having arrived at his car, Levi turned me and him in a way so that we were facing each other, not getting inside the car yet.

He took out a cloth. "Wear this here."

"What is that?"

"A blindfold."

"Blind—..."

"This is not what you think it is. I just need you to be blindfolded because there's something I wanna show you."

"Uh, okay." I let him blind me temporarily with that piece of fabric, inwardly wondering what it was he wanted to show me.

"Now you can get inside the car. I'll help you." Cautiously I was settled on the passenger seat. Levi joined me on the left side, checked my blindfold again. He ignited the engine, pulled out of the parking lot and most of the time the drive was spent in silence. Here and there I had asked him the same question over and over again.

"Where are we going? What do you have planned?"

"Patience."

"That doesn't sound like a familiar place to me." I bit my lips to my own joke.

"That's because it isn't a place." Levi responded, as if I had been serious just now.

At some point I gave it up and remained muted for the rest of the ride. Surprisingly, the drive hadn't taken too long.

Levi helped me out and guided me to whatever place we were at right now. Even though I was blindfolded, I wasn't taking steps highly cautiously like everyone would do in my place and neither did I feel wary. For that Levi was too good at giving me precise descriptions and instructions of when to place a foot where.

The few staircases we took and the fact that we were standing in a hallway right now, lead me to guesses that seemed to obvious.

"Isn't this our apartment?"

"Yes." he said, not faltering.

"Then why did you blindfold me."

"You'll see." I heard a jingle of a bunch of keys being taken out. One key was scratching against the metal lock, scraping and jarring, and all of a sudden the whole bundle was dropped to the floor. "Fuck."

"Nervous?" I asked rather jokingly.

"Yes." And I honestly didn't expect for Levi to give me an answer as serious as this.

With his second attempt, the door finally unlocked and I was the first one being directed inside.

"For real, though, Levi. What is the meaning of this? You've made me so curious." In my mind, I went even as far as to debate whether today had been some kind of anniversary. But that was impossible because we hadn't even reached the one year mark beginning from the time we met the very first time.

As long as my narrowed down orientation wasn't playing tricks with me, I was certain that we were in the living room right now.

A crispy and vivid odor, slightly exotic, swayed in the air and tingled in my nose, having a sweet touch to it.

"Are you ready?" Levi's fingers were at the knot on the back of my head. He fidgeted.

Seriously though, what was going on here?

"The whole time already." I exclaimed, producing a little carefree laughter.

And while I hadn't realized it up until now, I suddenly became silent and for the first time did I probably understand what was happening here.

Something significant was going to happen. Levi wanted to show me something, but I didn't know what it was. He felt nervous because of this and I noticed only now that I was actually really fidgety, too.

I wasn't prepared for the thing, but I wanted to see it so badly!

"For you." Levi breathed out with a low tone, voice rumbling softly.

He took off my blindfold. I blinked a few times, adjusted to the brightness. My eye widened at the sight in front of me.

I was overwhelmed by an ocean of flowers.

Bright and pale, petite and grand, smooth and prominent, exotic and extraodinary. Hundreds of petals expanded in front of my eyes, and I was washed away by their wave of beauty.

"Oh my..." I croaked, drought whirring in my throat and tongue numb.

A faint shiver of overpowering bliss covered my body, and a hearty chill warmed me up from inside.

Levi positioned himself next to me. "Eren." he called out my name like a worshipper.

"Y-Ye..." More wouldn't slip through my lips that trembled in astonishment.

Levi went on nevertheless, spoke calmly. "Do you know long we used to know each other before we became a couple?"

"T-Ten..."

"Yeah, right. Ten months. And in those ten months we used to be fuck buddies for six months."

Unable to force my eyes away from the pretty image, I only listened to Levi's voice, from the corner of my eye his stature was hinted in form of a silhouette.

"Six months. That's 183 days." An arm being stretched forward thrust into my vision. He pointed at the colourful pool of roses. "These are 183 bouquets of different flowers." The magnificent double-overwhelming power his words summoned choked me from the inside, on every part of my body. My breath was cut off for a moment, that's how bursting his words were to me. Wrenching deliberately at my heart. "None of them looks the same as the other. But there is one thing that links all of them together. Some more than the other, but the connection between all those does exist."

Wrung into my own world, so blissful and marvelous created by Levi's words, there was no way for me to form any coherent thoughts or words right now—his act struck me beautifully hard.

"It's love." Levi added.

"Oh my god..." With shaky fingers, I cupped my mouth and the bridge of my nose, eyes pressed shut as wetness accumulated slowly under my eyelids.

"Each of them represents love of any kind in some way, and I was told that it depended heavily on their appearance. I chose 183 pieces because that's the amount of days I owe, spent in love."

"S-Stop..." I attempted to get that word out of my vocal system, but it was released in an inaudible whisper.

"It was for six months that I didn't give my attention to your feelings."

Oh my god, Levi, please, stop. I can't...

"183 days where I didn't appreciate your love."

Please, please, please. Stop. Stop right there and then. I won't be able to...

"4392 hours I want to return to you by giving you love."

My body shivered thoroughly from all the affection Levi promised me. I wanted to look at him, answer him, kiss him, hold him close to me. But I couldn't do any of these. My feet were frozen in place, and it seemed to be an impossible task for me to open my eyes in the first place.

If I opened them now, I wouldn't be able to handle myself and my surroundings. I wouldn't be able to function like an ordinary human being.

Levi's voice had approached me, it sounded off closer to my ear. Other than his voice, Levi didn't leave touches on me in any other way.

"I'm aware of not being a perfect boyfriend. I think I can ever ever be one." Levi used a little break to punctuate what was leaving his mouth next. "I'm sorry."

"To me, you are already perfect." The one and only intelligible sentence I had been able to vocalize. It may be that my voice had failed giving it a firm and steady tone, but it had been loud enough to reach him, even though it had to break through my hands that were coating my mouth.

"But I'll try my best being a good boyfriend to you." Levi went on, as if he overheard me on purpose. He had planned all this flawlessly: the flowers, his speech, the meaning behind his act. So he would stick to his plan until the end, whatever may come or interrupt him. "I hope you understand now how sorry I am for having hurt your feelings."

"I—..." I told you time and again that I have already forgiven you!

"It is physically impossible to do that because one can't change the past anymore, but I don't care. I want to give those 183 days back to you. Whenver you look at those flowers – each and everyone of them – remember my words. It's a promise. I want to atone for the things I fucked up. I will give you what you had missed and wished for in those six months."

Oh my god... I didn't know that Levi had the power to wreck me and build me up afterwards. Stir my emotions and have control over them. Make me cry and make me worthy. Show me hell and show me heaven.

My arms lost its strength and fell limp to my sides, and as I had my head dropped, fighting back tears, my shoulders quivered uncontrollably.

"Forgive me."

I...

"Trust me."

This...

"Please let me treat you lovingly with my kind of affection."

Believe me, there's nothing else I would want more...

"Because you are the most precious person in my life."

Oh my god!

"And that will never change."

Levi, I...

"I love you, Eren."

As though a signal whizzed through my blood and gave my body its vitality back, I turned my head to him, and by now the tears were pouring out of my eyes and down my cheeks. Inwardly everything inside me exploded into an enormous dust of emotionality. I cried silently and trembled, my very own vulcano strutted every bit of tears out of me. I had to wipe off my face literally constantly, until my skin would be rubbed raw and red. But I had to do this because I needed to look Levi in the eyes. I had to look at him crystal cleary. Had to know about his momentary state.

Blinking the bothersome tears away, I finally got to see his face unblurred. He had fallen into a silence after his confession and now I saw him having his gaze lowered, brows crinkled and his lips were parted. He remained like his for a while, either shocked or surprised at his own words. As if he had stopped mid-sentence and didn't know what to do.

"Lev-i..." I cried hoarsely, desperately seeking his attention. My heart was pumping frantically inside my chest, overtook my whole body and controlled me wholly.

Levi closed his eyes, a few seconds passed, and then his expression softened, admirable relief spread over his face, and he smiled. Smiled an adorable felicity at me, and turned the whole world upside down with that.

"Yeah. That's right. I love you."

Mindlessly, so damn fogged by my feelings, I rushed to Levi, buried my fingers in his undercut and our lips clashed. I was tasting my own salty tears around my mouth as I kissed him passionately and cried. The sobs that would leak in between were ignored by both of us and Levi returned my kiss after recomposing himself from my sudden attack. He embraced me by my waist and pulled me up a bit, kissing back with less ferocity than me. A mixture of cries and little moans surged through my wet and swollen lips and I lost my senses once again, caring about nothing else than kissing Levi.

When he parted from me I was breathless and wobbly on my knees, senseless and a sobbing wreck.

Levi held my face and let our foreheads touched.

"I love you, too. I love you so much, Levi." I sobbed, had to gulp down hard and get rid of the tightness in my throat. I was barely able to look him in the eyes. Unlike me, Levi had stayed so calm and collected, it was a mystery to me how that was able.

He swept the back of his hand over my cheeks, wiping off some tears. All the while so fond and lovely. "Are you crying in happiness?"

I nodded rigorously, clutching his shirt. "You succeeded in giving me the most beautiful and heart-wrenching love confession ever. I don't think I can recover from this so soon." For an undefined reason I started to chuckle, hiding my face in Levi's shirt. His hug was firmer but oh so tender. Sniffing and smiling and blushing, I sucked in the comfort of being embraced by him.

His hugs and kisses were something I would never ever get tired of. Something I would recognize anytime.

~~~

"They are so beautiful." I claimed for the thousandth time now, staring down at the flowers that Levi and I had placed on the floor around our bed. Like this, there was no way to go to and away from the bed without having to pass by the beautiful roses—each of them pretty in its own unique way.

"There's a list of all their names on my nightstand. Names and the meanings behind each of them. One day wasn't enough for me to keep their names and meanings in mind in order to verse them in front of you."

A little shade of pink blotted over my face. I shifted a loving gaze at him. "That's so sweet of you to even consider it. But, really, you wouldn't have to go that far for me. It's already breathtaking enough to get gifted with these many bouquets. Not just a random amount but... You overwhelmed me so much at once, I'm still shivering from the excitement."

Levi gazed at the flowers on the floor, caught in his own thoughts. "You should have listened to the flower shop lady reciting these flowers. You would have loved it."

"I'm satisfied enough, trust me. I don't need to listen to it. Those flowers are a gift from you, and that already makes me so in love." I followed his eyes and admired the petals splattered under our feet. "The idea of waking up to these is the second beautiful thing to wake up to, and it gives me fuzzy feelings."

"Is it a waste to ask you what the most beautiful thing you wake up to is? Because I think I know the answer." Levi asked, so clueless about my hints that he had to even guess it when the answer was he himself.

I chuckled. "Yeah. You are the first thing I love to wake up to."

His eyes avoid mine at first, a tint of pink emerged on his pale cheeks. He clutched his shirt. "I feel flattered."

Another short giggle rose from my lips as I waved a hand in a way that beckoned him over. When the distance between us was narrowed to zero, I fiddled my fingers with his locks, sent him a timid look before I leant his head towards my face and our lips met a second time. It wasn't messy or rushed this time, rather beginning slow and lovingly. However, when I lowered myself to the bed and dragged Levi with me (one of his knees was place between my legs, so he wasn't really sitting on me), I moved my lips faster, sucked and licked, using my tongue. Levi adjusted his kiss to mine, returned it just as eagerly as me. Our tongues lapped at each other and sucking sounds filled the room. The wet and sensual kiss was soon accompanied by low moans on my part, while Levi cupped one of my cheeks to kiss me better. Greedier. Messier. Faster.

As he did so, my hands wandered down his back until they were just above his waistband, where his shirt went under his pants. Hesitant at first, I slipped my fingers inside and pulled up his neat white shirt, up to his waist.

That was when Levi broke from our kiss and saw me deep in the eyes. The greyness in his orbs swayed between a light pale colour and a deep lustful metallic. He grabbed one of my wrists, caging me with an intense look.

"Are you sure?" he growled a whisper.

I took a second to respond, but it wasn't because I wanted to think twice of it. There was nothing to think about. "Yes." I nodded heavily. "Please. I want you, Levi. I want to feel your skin on mine."

Levi looked at my lips, pressed a kiss there, and as he withdrew I chased after his lips that tasted too good not to touch. Just as a drug addict loved his drugs, I couldn't get enough of Levi's kisses.

"More."

I didn't realize right away that I had breathed that word out, and Levi heard it well and clearly.

His fingercups grazed the side of my face and I leant into it; attracted to his touch like a magnet.

"Tell me if you start feeling uncomfortable at some point and I'll stop."

"Mm."

The hum being all I could form right now, I watched Levi pull his shirt off over his head through fluttering half-lidded eyes. The second his flawless upper-naked body was presented to me my breath caught in awe. I wouldn't have thought that after so many weeks of deprivation I would crave his body as much as right now. The sight left me breath- and speechless, smitten with that muscular beauty. My fingers failed to have a taste of his sixpack, but I leant my head forward. As Levi moved towards me, my lips caught his neck and I mouthed at him hungrily, taking in his natural body scent with my kisses I planted on him. My kisses and licks and loud breaths violated his perfect body, meanwhile Levi was busy unbuttoning my shirt.

I wanted this. I wanted this so badly. Too much time has already passed and since I finally felt ready to do it, I had become impatient as fuck.

"Levi, hurry, please. You must have missed it too, right?"

"It doesn't matter whether I have missed it or not. For me it was more important to know when you would be ready."

"I am ready. I want you. Now. Please."

In less than a minute Levi had discarded both of us from our clothes—he had told me to stay still, but of course that had been sheer impossible for me to do, so instead I had peppered him with kisses on places on his body my mouth could reach. Some spots were lightly reddened from my sucks and bites.

Laying flatly on my back, both of us stark narked, Levi was hovering above me, palms positioned next to the sides of my face, kneeling between my parted legs. We had given ourselves in to yet another long kiss, couldn't keep our mouths away from each other. I gave his raven hair a tug and he responded with his thumbs roaming my nipples in circles.

I bucked my chest up to his touch, even though the feeling of my nipples being played with was still something I couldn't get used to so well so far. Or maybe my reaction originated from the fact that I actually liked how Levi had the ability to make me feel strangely good while my nipples were being touched by him.

Levi retreated his face from mine, though not without gifting me with lusting eyes, hazy behind a curtain of glooming heat.

My dick was semi-erected, but I knew that this would change very soon because the way he looked at me was all I needed to see to know that Levi would use his unavoidable attractiveness to make me weak but also hot for him. Even with tender strokes he'd be able to make me come hard.

Levi's lips explored my body, mouthing its way down, starting from my neck. His teeth would occasionally dig into my skin without breaking it and some sucks added to it created the hickeys which I hadn't worn on my body for so long now. The last time he had done this to me carried along ugly memories.

When his tongue glided over my stomach, circling my navel, he coarsed out a word that sent me to the other side of life for a split second.

"Eren."

Oh god.

The way he muttered my name; so hoarse and raw that it was given a whole new meaning to it. Only he was allowed to call my name like this.

"Say it again. Please. Say my name again. I adore it when you call my name." I slurred out, love-drunk.

"Eren. Eren, Eren, Eren."

Yes, yes, yes! More! Don't stop.

He pressed a kiss right under my abdomen. "Your body is like a sanctuary to me."

Oh my god.

"I love you so much, Eren."

I mewled audibly and wanted to thrust my hips up, my now hard cock twitching and I swear I could orgasm just from his voice.

"Levi, please—" I spilled out a breathy groan.

Looking down, I spotted him with my dick enclosed by his hand with relish, his mouth breathing out hotly against the base. Incredible how he could give me a lascivious stare while he would tease me with soft lewdness. Pre-cum had oozed onto his fingers and he licked my hard length up to the tip, catching some of my dripping pearly slick.

My hands fisted into the bed sheet desperately, I desired more – more of him! – and his hand on my hip restricted me from thrusting into Levi's mouth that was sucking on the throbbing tip of my dick.

"Please." I whined, undone. "Please, please, please, please. Enter me. I'm yearning for you."

Wet sounds reached my ears when Levi drew back from my cock, licking off every trail of cum that his mouth had gathered. It should be illegal for him to tease my body close to an orgasm. It was true; his steel-grey eyes flamed mischievously and a hint of a smirk played around his lips. As he scooted his upper body up to where my head was, he watched me with an innocent expression, cold eyes looking at me like observing eyes of a wild animal that was strolling through its territory.

Since I thought that Levi wanted to kiss me again, I was about to kiss him first, but in reality he poised past me and reached for something on his nightstand. I released yet another mewl, but at the sight of his chest displayed right in front of me I couldn't hold back.

My tongue skimmed his firm chest wetly first as I stroked him everywhere. I moved on to his pale pink buds and gave them full attention, pressing the tip of my tongue onto it and swirling around it then.

"Ah, fuck." Levi's hard erection pressed against my stomach and he pushed my head against his chest, though only for a short moment because he pulled me away from his beautiful body right after. I threw a questioning glance at him, and got a pretty smirk in return. So sexy. "Next time, okay? Today I want to spoil you. It's the first time we're going to have sex as real lovers. Let me do it. I will take good care of you. I want to make you feel good." He then raised a bottle of lube to my eyes. "Spread your legs more, love."

I did as I was asked to immediately, angled my legs and stretched them apart, my head dropping to one side in slight embarrassment.

It was going to happen. It was really going to happen. Finally. I couldn't recall anymore how it felt like being filled up by Levi's dick, but soon I'd get to know that feeling again. Very soon I'd get—

"Ah." I moaned, low, as a finger cold, sticky finger found my entrance, probed at it and went inside.

"Warn me, if you feel uneasy." Levi instructed thoughtfully.

I nodded and tightened around his finger inside me. Such a long time ago that a finger penetrated me. It was even more ridiculous when thinking of how the last time something like this happened had been me fingering myself and not Levi doing it to me.

It required a generous amount of thrusting in and out before my arse got used to Levi's finger. I had squirmed and shifted in place to quickly find the perfect angle for his finger to fuck me from, but even then Levi insisted on letting him do the work. Again a hand of his on my hip held me in place as a second finger joined the first one inside me, slipping in slowly as to not stretch my hole achingfully. Some shameless moans coming from me and Levi claiming that I was turning him on so badly with my slutty attempts of fucking down on his fingers that counted three by now, and I curved my back when Levi pulled back.

He had spread my legs wider from under my knees, kept them still in place as he himself aligned with my prepped entrance that was wet from the lube.

"I'm going to put it in now. Is that alright for you?"

"Yes. Fuck, yes. Do it." The lower half of my palms were pressed against my eyes, my fingers pulling at my front locks. Actually I should hate Levi for leaving me desperate on purpose, spending this much time on preparations. I knew he did that because he didn't want me to feel any pain as soon as his dick would penetrate me, but at some point I had become too yearning for him, it was unbearable.

But it was fine. Fine, fine, fine, because he was going to finally do me.

His hard dick went in slowly and steadily and I freed my face from my hands, parted my eyes at the feeling of getting stretched more than his fingers had already done to me. My mouth was ripped ajar and I pressed out shaggy pants as Levi gradually filled me up from inside.

"Everything okay?" he asked, slightly concerned because of my expression.

"Yes. I'm totally fine. Just need to get used to it a bit."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No! I mean, no, there is no need to. I'm doing alright." Indeed I was doing a lot better as soon as I widened my legs a bit more and gave everything to loosening myself and relaxing. Levi's cock slid smoother inside and the beginning tightness was replaced by relish rubbing.

Levi's hands were holding both sides of my hip as he slipped the last inches into my ass, until he was buried ballsdeep.

I breathed harshly with closed eyes when his whole dick stilled inside me and gave Levi a timid smile.

He pulled out halfway after a while, paused, watched me closely and plowed into me with one firm thrust. But now his hands were back next to my head again and his face hovered over mine, witnessing me break out a cry of lust.

"So... good. It feels so good." One eye opened, I tried to tell him in any way that he was allowed to go harder on me. He didn't respond, scrutinized my face thoroughly, used most of his time to get an answer himself from my eyes.

He seemed to smile with contentment then, pecked my lips before he rested his head next to mine on the pillow, and pounded into me with a steady and fierce rhythm.

I was holding onto him as though he was my lifeline and soon my fingernails dragged over his back, leaving red marks and scratches there. His pounding dick caused me to roll my eyes back and moan loudly, unrestrained and self-indulgent, and my fingers didn't stop claiming his back.

"You are making such beautiful sounds. Tell me how good you're feeling." Levi groaned into my ear, his raspy and seductive voice sending chills through my veins.

"You're making me feel so good. It feels so good. I love it. I love you."

As Levi buried his face in the crook of my neck, his hot breath tickling softly against my skin, he went a bit harder on me, though all the while that novel characteristic of him having sex with me so roughly yet so affectionately – which I had never ever felt before – stuck to my mind and eternalized itself there.

Levi wasn't merely fucking me, he was making love to me.

At that thought, tears filled my eyes and spilled over. I also couldn't prevent some sniffs from leaving my lips and causing my chest to hoist up and down irregularly, which didn't go unnoticed by Levi.

He raised his head and locked eyes with me right away. "You're crying." he stated the obvious, and worry featured him. "Why are you crying?" He stilled immediately, and was even about to pull out. But I stopped him before he could go that far.

"It's okay. Don't worry. I'm not crying because I'm in pain or whatsoever. It's just... I'm so happy right now." I beamed a teary smile at him, and Levi blinked a few times before he gave trust to my words.

"Oh, okay. I believe you." He stroked my wet cheek, stared long into my eyes and his gaze switched to glance at my lips.

He planted a fond kiss there and I gave him the same back.

His thrusts had picked up pace, stimulating the pooling orgasm in my lower area as my cock oozed dozen pre-cum, twitching for attention and release.

Lust itself visited me when I arched my back, curled my toes and came hard as I raised my upper body, giving Levi the perfect opportunity to mouth at me before he'd orgasm as well.

I moaned loudly while coating Levi with my load, shivering from the pleasure that slowly ebbed away in the afterglow.

Levi came soon after and with a coarse growl as his shot was released inside me.

For a long while we remained in position, Levi on top of me, and we both needed time to catch our breath and regain stamina, however Levi had of course recovered faster than me.

Levi climbed off me without the need of me having to ask him to do so and he turned my body so that we were facing each other as we lay on our bed, next each other.

He brushed some damp strands off my face as we glinted smiles to one another.

I rolled on my bed to the edge of the mattress, looked down to the plenty of flowers that were still there where I had placed them. I didn't know where that ridiculous thought came from, but I just had to reassure myself that nothing of this had been a dream.

Everything did really happen.

"I love you." Back in my original position again, I said this to Levi, not feeling like uttering anything else right now.

Levi pillowed his head with one arm underneath. It took a while until he retorted. "I've always told myself that I would never regret the choices I make. One should choose decisions they won't regret. And yet here I am regretting two of my choices. First, to love. Second, not to love. Ridiculous, isn't it?"

"No, it isn't. Your first decision was triggered off by something you thought happened because of love, but in reality it didn't."

"And I'm regretting my second decision because you are proof that not to love isn't the right thing."

"To love is always the better option. Because one day, one will find someone to fall in love with. That's what humans do—falling in love."

"I'm actually glad you fell in love with me. I think there is no one else who would have endured me for so long and convinced me to open up to them."

I snuggled into Levi's chest and was hugged in return. "I, too, am glad that I fell in love with you."

If only you could know how happy I am that you finally proclaimed your love for me.

This was what people did.

To love and be loved.

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(⊙▽⊙✿)

For once I'm actually really proud of my writing and the way I wrote a chapter. This is the very first time I am so overwhelmed by my own creation. There's isn't a more beautiful love confession Levi could have proclaimed to Eren in this fic AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE!

So? How was it? PLEASE tell me what you think about this chapter, it means a lot to me!!

Tell me that you loved it just as much as I did when writing it :')