Eren's POV

There was a long silence before Levi spoke up.

"You want to... break up?"

I stared at him with emotionless eyes and eventually nodded. "Yes."

"We aren't even a couple." he scoffed.

Seriously?!

"You know what I mean. I don't want this fuck buddy thing anymore!" Everything was getting worse for me. I just wanted to disappear from this situation.

There was no reaction on Levi's face, though I couldn't tell whether Levi was hesitating right now or not. Probably not. Why should he?

"Tch. Fine. Whatever. Do as you like."

So this was it? Without any moves to stop me from doing this, without any intentions to keep the fuck buddy relationship stable he was willing to accept the break-up?

I really didn't mean anything to him. Nothing at all. As long as I would please him, everything was alright. There hadn't been any use right from the beginning to tell over and over again that I loved him. Because he didn't care a bit about my words and feelings.

I was a fool for believing that someday there will be more between us.

Accepting to sacrifice my love for him in order to stay by his side hadn't brought me anywhere in the end. This relationship was all time along just physical and a waste of love, and today it would finally come to an end.

Fine. It was better this way anyway.

I wonder... Was I really meaning it just now or was it just something I tried to convince myself to believe?

I couldn't tell.

Oh, fuck it. I didn't know what was right or wrong at the moment! I just... didn't know anything.

"T-Then, I'll go now." I eventually announced, my words hollow and weak.

Levi shrugged indifferently. "I won't hinder you from doing so. It was a pleasant time with you."

Oh, how much I would have laughed and at the same time cried at these words. 'Pleasant'. Yeah, it was pleasant. This was what the raven wanted; a pleasant time!

These couldn't be the last words between us. "The fact that you let me go just easily like that means that you can and will find another one who can satisfy you as much as I can, right?"

"What do you think am I? A slut? I don't always have a sex partner by my side and neither do I have thousands of one-night stands. This isn't how I'm living my life. In fact, you were my first fuck buddy. When we first met, I thought that you and I would have our fun because I really wanted it. After that, I didn't force you to meet me again; it was your own choice. And since I hadn't destested you back then like most of the people I meet, I thought it wouldn't be that bad to have sex with you on a regular basis. After all, this is what it was about right from the beginning! It isn't my fault that you fell in love with me!"

How could he even justify himself like that? He wasn't at fault?

Since we were already clarifying things, I may as well can clear things up. "Back then when I called you after our first night..." Taking a little pause, I thought of how do say the next things as clearly as possible because there was a high possibility that my voice will crack. Thinking of all these things again, even though we were at the end now, made me emotional again. But there wasn't any reason for being like emotional anymore. "... Actually I had wanted to ask you whether we can start up with a friendship. Because this is what I wanted to be with you at first. Friends. And then..." I could already feel the lump in my throat. You have to stay strong now, Yeager. "I thought that maybe then w-we could have become something more. Something beyond a physical relationsh-"

"Impossible." Levi interrupted me with a determined and strong voice. It startled me inwardly how he could be so sure about that. Where did he take that assurance from?

I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Why do you think that?"

"God, how many times did I tell you already, brat? I'm not into romantic relationships."

This has been a mystery to me all the time and it still was. He never revealed to me why he didn't like romantic relationships. "Why? Why don't you want romantic relationships. Is... Is it something you don't want to have or... something you can't be in?" I had no clue why that last idea came into my mind, but somehow I thought that there might be a certain reason why Levi was the way he was.

"None of your business." he replied harshly, his attitude towards me having slightly altered. I could sense it. I had mentioned something he wasn't willing to talk about. Why? "Don't try asking more about that. Weren't you about to leave?"

His question hit me hard in the gut, I felt like my abdomen twist again. Clenching my teeth, I watched Levi in deep despair as my body began to shake lightly. It would have hurt less if he had ripped my heart out instead of saying that and implying with it for me to leave already.

It was a wonder that I hadn't cried yet.

"We even moved in together." I said in a desperate tone. This wouldn't lead to anything anymore, so why was I still arguing? What was I doing? Why couldn't I control my emotions that were slowly but certainly overtaking my mind and body?

This was the last chance for me to let everything out what I thought needed to be said- it didn't matter how frustating those things were to me.

And this frustration was all that was in me right now. "Who moves in together if they're only sex partners?!" I yelled, clenching my fists.

Levi was untouched by that, still looking at me with a bored expression as his body stayed motionless. "Are you dumb? What is up with you, brat?"

"Just answer." I spoke out between gritted teeth, the words barely being more than a whisper.

The raven clicked with his tongue and sighed loudly before answering. "It was just a matter of convenience. We moved in shortly after we had started our fuck buddy thing because I thought that it wouldn't be ended after a short amount of time. And guess what? It indeed lasted very long. We've spent several months in this apartment and it sure was not a waste. It was simply convenient. I hope you didn't think this was a step to something that we both knew would never happen."

Enough. I didn't want to hear any of this anymore. I'd had enough.

I locked eyes with him again. Those cold grey orbs staring at me. They were so far away. I could see him stand there in front of me with his arms crossed across his chest, his hips swayed to the side a bit, an indifferent expression plastered on his face as he stayed silent, looking at me with knitted eyebrows. The distance between us was so big. It was as if we had been strangers the whole time; we were that much apart from each other.

"You really want to end it?" he then asked all of a sudden.

I was slightly surprised by him asking that, but it didn't affect me deeper at all. Not anymore.

"Yes. Why are you asking?"

"As much as I don't mind that you want to end it, it is something that you decided rather suddenly. You might as well be on drugs or whatever, that's why I am asking. Maybe you're just not sober or completely sane at the moment." The small smug smile proved that Levi was really taking something like this into consideration. Even at a time like this he would think that of me.

It really didn't matter to him that I was leaving our relationship behind.

"I'm fully aware of what I'm doing right now. Sorry to not meet your expectations." There was a sour smile covering my lips and it was the most I could do when actually I just wanted to bury myself and not experience what was happening just now.

Everything took longer than I thought.

And with each passing second it became more unbearable for me to endure and do this big and eventful step.

Leaving this part of my life behind in order to move on also meant that I had to leave Levi behind. If I wanted to move on, I had to do this.

It was pathetic and unbelievable to know that in a few hours- maybe even minutes- I was going to leave the person I deeply fell in love with behind.

Part of me didn't want to do this, but I had to.

Part of me didn't want to feel how it was like to leave something or someone important behind, but I had to.

Part of me didn't want to stop loving Levi, but I had to.

At this point I didn't even know if I was able to forget and stop to love. After all I never had to experience such a painful moment. Life wasn't always beautiful. But the selfish guy I sometimes was I never wanted something bothersome or unpleasant in my life. But who was I to desire a perfect life? A perfect life in which I had my family by my side, my friends by my side, my lover by my side, and no problems or hardships surrounding me.

This was utopic.

"How long do you intend to daydream?" Levi questioned, bringing me back to reality.

I didn't answer right away but walked towards my room instead. "I'll go pack my things."

"Sure."

~~~

When I had finished, Levi was already waiting for me at the door. I very slowly approached him, coming to an halt when I was next to him. Turning around to him, I saw nothing in the raven's eyes. Neither joy, signs of victory, relief, or contentment nor remorse, guilt, regret- and not even indifference.

His face was literally blank.

"You want me to say anything?" he asked.

"You don't have to."

"Hm, but I will."

"Then please do so."

He opened the door for me before facing me again. He looked into my eyes, saying,

"Have a nice life, Eren. I really mean it."

Not only that he had used my name after a long time, but the way he said this to me and what he said caused some indescribable feeling inside me. It was something between sorrow and pain; maybe a mixture of both.

A sudden thought came to my mind and I was glad that it came now and not later when it was already too late.

The key.

My right hand wandered up to my chest, touching the key that was hanging from my neck in form of a necklace.

That key he had given me back then...

I had to give that back. I didn't want it anymore.

Slipping my hand under my shirt, I grabbed the golden key and ripped the necklace apart. The metal was shaking in my palm and it didn't take long until I threw it on the floor.

Levi's eyes widened very slightly and just for a little moment before he held his normal gaze again.

"Here, you can have your key back! I don't need it. I don't want it!" My voice rose, and I was surprised by that myself. If I wanted to forget him, I had to get rid of everything that reminded me of him.

Levi glared at me and to be honest I hadn't expected that and even less could I explain to myself why he was reacting like that. He was glaring but this was the only thing I saw in his eyes. Other than that, his face kept an emotionless expression.

"I'm going now." I whispered, turning around and making my way outside. I didn't waited for him to answer -if he even was going to- and in the end I just wanted to leave as fast as possible.

So I really did it, didn't I?

I really broke up with him. Something I had feared the most and never wanted to happen. Everything was over now and I was the one who ended everything. I think my mind hadn't progressed the break-up yet, right now everything felt so surreal to me. Everything left me, it was like I was a ghost wandering around the streets.

I hadn't realized when this happened and how but here I was, facing Armin's door. My mind was still just a mess and my body had moved on their own the whole time.

When Armin opened the door and I saw his bright blue eyes, all I thought about was how I had reached the lowest point of my life. I didn't even deserve to be here and look into his pretty eyes.

"I-..." The words were stuck in my throat, refusing to slip through my lips. Also, my vision went blurry.

"Eren? Eren, what happened?" he asked in the most worried and saddest voice I had ever heard of him up until now.

"A-Ar-..." I choked on my tears that had piled up inside me the whole time, falling down onto my knees.

My best friend catched me right away, going down on his knees as well as he hugged me tightly. I hugged him, too, and let the tears stream down my face unrestrainedly, sobbing loudly into Armin's shirt. This was really a moment where I couldn't control my tears and emotions anymore. I hadn't the strength for that anymore and there was no way that I would try.

"Eren? What-"

"I broke up with him!" I yelled, continuing to cry and sob after I had managed to bring out this sentence.

Armin didn't need any more information to understand and lead me inside. "You did it?" he had asked, but didn't expect me to answer. And I didn't.

I had just clung to him, crying water falls out of my eyes as my friend stayed by my side, giving me all the time I needed. During that time he didn't speak because he knew that it was useless. I had to calm myself down before I was able to do or say anything, and Armin gave me the time for me to cry my eyes out.

At this very moment, even Jean had the decency to let us alone.