Michael & I drove to court annoyed and silent. We got into an argument over some things and it didn't end well. Every time I blinked, I saw our argument and heard what we said. We stopped and I slammed the door. Michael locked the car and when I went to move, I was stuck to the car. I groaned in agony.

Suesie: Unlock the car!

Michael: Oh I'm sorry, right after I let it go.

Suesie: Michael!

Michael: Catch.

He said throwing the keys at me. Just barely in my reach. Good thing I can take off things with no problem. I took off my skirt and grabbed the keys. I put my skirt back on and ran inside.

Suesie: That son of a bitch is going to get it once I see him. I fucking hate his guts right now. I can't wait to slap the shit outta him.

I growled right then and walked inside after I straightened up.

Suesie: Fuck you.

I repeated under my breath. I wouldn't stop either. Michael, on the other hand was on the far side of the row and was muttering to himself also.

Michael: Why did she say that? That was so unneeded. She said that she forgave me but I guess she lied. Why would she bring that up again?

Once the clock struck five o'five, our case was called. Michael sat beside me.. Great.

Michael: Suzanne, I-.

Suesie: Fuck you.

I said not listening.

Michael: Don't start this.

I said it again and he squeezed my thy hard enough to snap me out of it.

Suesie: What the fuck?

Michael glared at me and I looked around.

Michael: Clearly you lied to me.

Suesie: Clearly, you need a slap in the face!

Michael: Stop it! I have no time to be dealing with you right now.

Suesie: You want a divorce? Tell me.

Michael: I don't want a divorce!

Suesie: Then what do you want?

Michael: I want to fix this. Fix us and love you.

Suesie: Nice to know.

Michael: You are going to get it when we get home.

Suesie: Alright daddy.

I said crossing my arms.

Michael: You are really pushing it!

Suesie: Oh I'm sorry, is that the part where I was supposed to be afraid of what's not going to happen?

Michael balled up his fists, clenched his jaw and let his face turn red. I seriously don't like his actions. Sometimes I wonder why I even married him. Court went well that day, but I can't say the same for Michael & I. During break, we had to go outside because of what was happening. It started once we were dismissed.. Michael & I were heading out when the same man that I saw at the movies approached me.

?: Excuse me miss, but I can't help that we always seem to bump into each other. I was the man you saw at the movies.

I stared at him like he was crazy for a few seconds and then I snapped back into reality.

Suesie: Yes, I remember you. I'm Suzanne.. And you are?

Man: Xavier Dominique Smith. But people call me Man for short.

I nodded and shook his hand.

Suesie: Nice to meet you. Who are you here for?

Man: My brother.. He's a crazy cat and I try to keep him out of trouble but I guess he can't.

Suesie: What did he do?

Man: He killed a couple people and almost killed one of them but they escaped and now he's in jail.

I giggled lightly.

Suesie: Sounds like my reason. Well, it was nice speaking with you. Goodbye Mr. Man.

He tipped his hat at me and smiled.

Man: See you later.

Then he walked off. I stood there as I watched him leave. Michael came up to me with angry eyes. He spoke calmly but I knew that he was upset.

Michael: Who was that?

Suesie: What do mean?

Michael: The man that you were all smiles for! Who is he?

I placed my hands on my hips and stood my ground.

Suesie: That's my business, not yours. Michael, I am my own person and you certainly are not the one who got my mother knocked up to have me!

Michael: You better watch your mouth!

Suesie: How can I? My lips and my eyes are not meant to look at each other!

I stormed out and reluctantly followed me into the hall.

Michael: What is your problem? There is always something wrong with you. So what is it this time? What did I do?

I glared at him and bit my bottom lip locked between my teeth.

Suesie: Stoop down to my level for a second.

I said signaling him with my finger. Michael was face to face with me and raised his eyebrow.

Michael: What?

I slapped him and walked away like nothing happened. I was so angry at him.. He's going to pay for everything that he ever did to me. I was about to go downstairs but I was jerked back by my arm and when I was turned around, I was face to face with Michael. His face was all red and I could tell that he was very upset.

Suesie: Let go of me!

Michael: No. Outside, now!

Michael said as he dragged me outside. Michael finally stopped walking and screamed at the top of his lungs.

Michael: What the heck is wrong with you?

Suesie: You're my problem!

Michael: Why are you acting like this towards me?

Suesie: Why'd you go and break my heart?

Michael: I said I'm sorry! I can't go back and change it but I can change who I am.

Suesie: Let me go!

Michael: No!

Suesie: Michael!

Michael: Stop it! You can not win this time. I won't let you..

Michael looked down and when he looked up at me, he had tears streaming down his face.

Michael: I Love You so much Suzanne.. You just don't know.. I'd die if you die, I'd go down if you went down, I'd smile if you smile, and I'd love if you love.. I'd love you more and harder than I already do if you were nicer to me. Suzanne, let us be what we have always dreamed about us being.

My face was tight and it also turned red.

Suesie: But could I love a man who has taken something that I can't get back for granted?

I tried to walk away but he wouldn't let me. So I turned my back on him.

Michael: You could if you let this man show you what you won't let him..

I slightly tilted my head to the right because I was thinking about it.. Could he speak the truth? He doesn't lie.. But he cheated.. I told him I forgave him.. And also that things can never be as they once were.. What should I do?

Suesie: You disobeyed me..

Michael: What?

Suesie: You didn't listen to what I said, Michael. We had a deal!

I said turning around and using my finger for gestures.

Michael: Suzanne.. Baby please.. I'll listen, but only if you do the same.

Suesie: What?

Michael: Listen to my heart and what I have to say. Take what I say as something important and let me love you.. Let me make love to you.. That's all that I ask of you Suzanne. Let me be the man you married.

I couldn't look at him.. No way, no how. I knew that I'd die if I did.

Suesie: You will make love to me if I say so.

Michael: I can deal with that.

Suesie: And you have to do everything that I say, without question.

Michael: Well.. Alright.

Suesie: Another thing.. Let me go!

Michael: Done.

Michael said pushing me back which caused me to stumble backwards a little.

Suesie: I agree to your terms.. Do you agree to mine?

Michael: Yes. We have a deal. May I hold you?

I looked down and sighed. I shook my head.

Suesie: No..

Michael: Why won't you let me touch you?

Suesie: As much as I hate to say it right now.. You disgust me at the moment.. If I look at you, I'll throw up.

Michael: I don't mind.. It's happened before.

Suesie: I'm not looking and you can't make me.

I said walking away. I stopped walking when I felt something hit my butt. I turned around and held my butt. Michael was grinning and I was red.

Suesie: Don't you ever do that again!

Michael: Do what?

Suesie: Don't smack me on my ass!

Michael gave me a look because of the word I chose to use.

Michael: I can promise not to do it in public..

I was beginning to change back to my regular color and I closed my eyes. I breathed out and then I ran to the bushes. I threw up and Michael ran over to me.

Suesie: I told you..

Michael: Oh baby.. You're just sick. Let me take you home.

Suesie: No!

Michael: Then I'll have one of my siblings take you.

Suesie: No way, no how. I'm staying.

Michael: Baby..

Suesie: She's right here.

I said placing my hand over my stomach.

Michael: She? I-It's a girl?

Suesie: I'm just guessing.

Michael breathed out slowly.

Michael: Don't scare me like that. I'll either have two girls that I love or a boy that's just like his father.

Suesie: Oh Jesus no.

I said picturing him as an adult and with his wife.. A cheater just like his father.. Oh hell no.

Michael: Why not a son?

Suesie: I just can't. No, I'll love him.. But he can't be like you.

Michael chuckled lightly and caressed my cheek.

Michael: I Love You.

I nodded and disappeared into the courthouse. Michael caught up with me and put his hand on my shoulder. I stopped walking.

Suesie: What is it now, Michael?

Michael: I said I Love You.

I nodded again and placed my hand on the knob of the court door.

Suesie: Nice.

Michael placed his hand over mine and looked at me.

Suesie: What? What do you want from me?

Michael: Don't you love me too?

I couldn't answer him.. I opened the door and walked inside. I sat down and Michael sat down beside me. He leaned down into my ear and whispered something to me.

Michael: Suzanne.. Baby I Love You even if you don't Love Me.

I shook me head as I looked down and sighed.

Suesie: I do Love You but I can't keep doing this.. You don't realize how many times in my life I've been lied to, raped, beat, hurt and taken for granted. I can only put up with so much now Michael and you only have one more chance. So you better not mess this up.

Michael: Baby.. Look, I know that I will never be able to understand what you've been through or how much pain you had to bare. But I promise to never hurt you again if you let me make it right. I will only make you happy and the baby too. I will only make love to you and I will only love you and our family. I promise to be the best man that I can be.. But I can't do this unless you let me..

I closed my eyes and I made an annoyed expression. I slowly looked up at him and spoke lowly.

Suesie: Why did you wait until now to show me all the man that you can be? Why we're you not every last bit of you a man and not the least bit a boy? Tell me, where was this man that I thought I married? Where was he when I got pregnant with his child? Or when I needed him? Where was this man?

Michael: He was right there making love to you, he was there when you needed him and right there when you married him.

Suesie: But was he there with you when you cheated?

It was silent for a while and then I sat back.

Suesie: Didn't think so.

Michael: You are making it so hard for me to love you..

Suesie: If it's that hard, then why don't you just stop?

Michael: Because that's the way that love goes.

I tuned out and I didn't hear Michael saying words, but muffled whispers. I was listening to the song that played in my head by Billie Holiday.. 'God Bless The Child'. Michael placed his hand on my thy and all of my attention snapped to his hand. I pushed his hand off, only for his hand to grab onto mine. I tried to shake his hand off but he kept a good grip. I sighed and let his hand hold onto mine. Michael leaned in close to my ear and whispered something to me again.

Michael: When we get home.. I want to show you how much I Love You and how sorry I am for hurting you. Baby I'm sorry.. Let me.. Make it up to you..

Michael said in that low and sexy voice that I can almost never resist. My stomach turned and I felt sick. I covered my mouth and tried to control my breathing. I was breathing pretty hard because the room suddenly become hot to the point where I couldn't breathe. Michael looked at me with concern and tried to fan me. It worked a little but what I really needed was to throw up. I ran out of the courtroom and into the women's restroom. I hovered over the toilet and then it happened. I had some blood come up but the  than that, I was fine. Michael burst throughout the door and helped me. He kept crooning things to me and rubbed my back. When I was done, I was weak and Michael held me. He wiped my mouth as if I were a baby.. His baby. Michael looked at what I threw up and sighed as he shook his head.

Michael: Oh baby..

He kissed my forehead and gave me a cold towel to dab my face with. I was very sick.. I need to stop stressing. All this stress is going to kill me. And if it kills me, it will kill the baby and from there, Michael will die of devastation. I laid there limp against him and when I caught my breath, I began to speak.

Suesie: We gotta.. Go and deal w.. With court.

Michael: No baby, you're sick. You need some rest. I'm going to take you home.

Suesie: W-what about c-court?

Michael shushed me and caressed my face.

Michael: You are more important than anything in this world to me. You hold life within you and you carry my heart with you. Court doesn't matter to me right now.

Suesie: It's you. I told you that I get sick at the sight of you.

Michael: But you didn't see me.

Suesie: In my mind.

Michael: When?

Suesie: When you were being nasty.

Michael: But I'm you nasty boy.

Suesie: Boy?

Michael: Did I say that? You must be hearing things. I'm your nasty man. You hear me? Man!

Suesie: Thank you..

Michael: I thank God for you every day. I didn't deserve you but yet, you're mine. And I'm yours. I'll be back to get you Sweetheart.

Michael left and came back quicker than I thought. Michael was mumbling things and I was getting very sleepy. Michael kept me conscious and picked me up. I was put in the vehicle with LaToya as our driver and laying on Michael's lap as I was wrapped in his arms. I must be very sick to get like this. I went out and I dreamed.. I had a beautiful dream. It started to get annoying once it started playing over again at a certain part.