I got up a few hours later and I felt different.. It's a good kind of different. I was feeling bad in my body but I was feeling great within my spirit. I'm not sure why or what caused it, but I just do.. I got out of bed and walked to the window. I sat there naked but I didn't care because I was receiving something.. Something great but I just don't know what it was. Just then, my moment of peace was ruined.. I ran into the bathroom and threw up. This happens every time we have sex so, I don't really get myself worked up about it anymore.. I don't really care anymore.. Then I sighed.. I sighed because I know that I'm lying.

Michael always gets happy about it.. He always jumps up and down and then he tries to take care of me like I'm pregnant when I'm really not. I just sat there and let my tears fall because of my failure to become a mother.. I can only dream and possibly adopt. But I don't want to adopt.. I want a child that's all mine and I'm all theirs. I want a baby that actually loves me and I don't have to deal with the questions.. The questions asking, Why don't they look like us or Who their real parents are. I will not do that.. But it would be nice to have a baby around. Mine or not. The phone rang and I wipe my face. I throw on a robe and answered the phone. Michael came up the stair screaming in my ear before I could hear who was on the phone.

Michael: Hello?.. Oh hey Frank.. What?.. Why not?.. But today's my day off. It's Satuday!..

Michael sighed.

Suesie: What's wrong Mike?

Michael shooed me away and I looked at him like he was crazy. Then I flipped him off before walking away. I sat down on the bed and just thought about Michael's behavior.. I knew Michael wanted to come after me but he had to ignore me because this was a business call. I've been moody lately too. I was hungry but I ignored my hunger until Michael hung up the phone. He came up the steps and saw me standing in front of the window.

Michael: Baby.. Baby I-.

Suesie: Save it.

I snapped.

Suesie: I don't wanna hear your bullshit and definitely don't wanna hear you..

I walked past him and went down the stairs. I started eating everything that I could get my hands on. I didn't care what it was, I was just hungry. Michael stood in the kitchen doorway and watched me.

Michael: Sue. What's wrong?

Suesie: You know what's wrong Michael!

We started talking over each other at this moment.

Michael: No I don't, just tell me!

Suesie: What is the first thing I said yesterday? Huh? Tell me!

Michael: I don't know.. I don't know! Just stop yelling and say what's wrong with you!

Suesie: I said that Janet is in trouble! What's wrong with me? Ain't nothing wrong with me! There's something wrong with you, not me!

Michael: Suzanne! Stop yelling! There's nothing wrong with me. I know that Janet is in another state!

Suesie: What's the first thing you did? Tell me that!

Michael: I told you no! I said that you're not going alone and that I'd see if I could go with you! Why are you freaking out?

Suesie: No to what? Exactly! But what did you do Michael? What Did You Do? I'm not fucking freaking out!

Michael: Don't You DARE, Speak to me like that!

Suesie: Like what? I'm not your fucking slave! I'm not your daughter and I Damn sure ain't your bitch!

Michael turned red.. His eye were starting to fill up with tears but he kept going. I don't know what's wrong with me but.. It's gotta stop.

Michael: I never said those words! I never said that to you!

Suesie: I never said that you DID!

Michael looked at me and then screamed at the top of his lungs.

Michael: SUZANNE, STOP IT!

His tears started pouring out and he couldn't control it. My face was red and I was in no mood to apologize.

Michael: What's wrong with you, baby? Why are you so mean to me?

I was quiet for a while and then I shook my head.

Suesie: Because apparently, I'm not wanted when I'm needed..

Michael didn't understand what I meant but I did. That's all that matters. I tried to walk out of the room but Michael grabbed my arm. I glared at Michael with my jaw tightened.

Michael: Suzanne..

I snatched my arm away from his grip and walked into the guest room. I locked the door and went back to my old ways.. I no longer felt beautiful, or like I was a good person.. I didn't even know what I had to live for. Why suffer through living just to die? The house phone rang again and I looked at it. I guessed that Michael picked it up because it stopped ringing before I could answer it.. I looked at the phone conspicuously and then I slowly got up. I picked up the phone and made no sound as I listened to the conversation. It was Michael talking to a woman..

Michael: Stop calling here! I don't want you near me!

Woman: Michael, listen to me! Please, this is important!

Michael: What? What is so important that you need to call my house harassing me?

Woman: I'm not harassing.. But I really need to speak to you. This is very urgent.. Please meet me there..

Michael was silent for a while.

Woman: Please..

Michael: If I show up, don't try anything. Don't touch me and don't contact me anymore.

Woman: That's up to you.. But I think you'll want to.

Michael: I doubt it. Highly..

Woman: I'll see you..

Michael: Don't call me later. Bye.

Then he hung up on her.. I don't know who that was, but I've gotta find out.. Mad or not. I walked out of the room and went down the stairs to watch cartoons.. I started watching Mickey Mouse and then he came down the stairs. Michael looked at me and bit his bottom lip.

Michael: Sue.. Can I talk to you?

Suesie: You have a voice, don't you?

Michael nodded and looked down.

Michael: Baby I-.

Suesie: I'm not your baby. Not today, not tomorrow, and I don't think I'll ever be..

I mumbled. I was pretty sure that he heard me.

Michael: BABY I wanted to tell you that I have to go somewhere for a few minutes. I'll be right back though.

I really did not care at this point. If he doesn't care about his baby sister, then why should I care where he's going? No wait..

Michael: Do you need anything?

Suesie: I'm coming with you.

I said as I got up.

Michael: W-What? No. You can't.

Suesie: Why not?

Michael: Because this is a private meeting that I have to go to.

Suesie: That's not good enough. I can wait in the car. You said you're just going and coming back. Why are you so secretive?

Michael: Baby, stop it.

Suesie: Michael!

Michael: Suzanne please!

It got quiet.

Michael: Now I'm going to this meeting and you will not come.

Suesie: You are not my father.

I laughed once sarcastically and then I looked down smiling.

Suesie: I don't even know who my daddy is. Not officially though.. But I know that it ain't you.

Michael: Suzanne, cut it out.. Please.

Suesie: Did you hear me? Or do you want a DNA test?

Michael looked at me like I crushed his heart. I probably did.. Gosh, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Michael: Goodbye..

Michael said before he walked out of the house. I watched him leave. Then I got into the other vehicle. I kept my distance from him and then he stopped at a park. A woman was waiting for him on a bench.. I heard the whole thing because I hid behind something that got me close enough to hear them.. Okay, maybe not everything..

Michael: What is it? What do you want from me?

Woman: Michael.. I have to tell you something very important but promise me that you won't be mad.

Michael: Why would I get mad? Why would I care? We're not even together.. And we will never be.

Woman: Michael, please..To me.

If she doesn't speak up..

Michael looked down and nodded with his jaw tightened.

Michael: What is it? I have no time for your games! I have a wife who loves me back at home but she's mad at me for ignoring her and cheating and letting my baby sister learn something on her own!

Woman: Michael.. I'm sorry.. Maybe this wasn't a good time.

Michael: Well, you better tell me now before I have to leave.

Woman: I....

She mumbled and Michael stood up outraged.

Michael: What?

Woman: I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you..

Michael: No, no. This, can't be..

Woman: Michael, it's true. I swear!

Michael: Tell me it's not..

Michael started to mumble. She nodded.

Woman: What are you going to.. her?

Michael shook his head. I hate how soft she's talking..

Michael: No.. I'm not. I'm not putting her through this drama.

What drama? Michael walked to the other side of his vehicle and got in.

Woman: Michael! Michael wait!

Michael: What? What do you want from me?

Woman: Aren't you going to..?

I could barely hear over the motor. She really needs to speak up.

Michael: Get away from me!

Something slipped out of her hands and onto the ground.

Woman: Michael..

Michael shook his head and drove off. I knew he was mad. I saw her crying and she started walking away from where she stood. I decided to be bold and so I picked up what she dropped.

Suesie: Miss!

She turned around.

Suesie: Excuse me, but you dropped something..

Woman: Thank you..

She said taking back her things. I decided to get a little nosey..

Suesie: I um.. Saw what happened and I didn't want to interrupt.

Woman: Oh man.. I'm sorry about that..

I nodded.

Suesie: May I ask what happened?

Woman: I can't.. I don't even know who you are.

Suesie: Forgive me.. I'm Suzanne. I know who he is too. We're very close.

Woman: So I guess it's safe for me to tell you then..

Suesie: Yeah. Michael and I are very close. I promise, I won't say a word.

Woman: Wow, okay.. Well.. You see, he has a wife at home and he used to work for me but one day we had sex.. It was an accident but now.. I just found out something terrifying.

Suesie: What's that?

Woman: Well, I heard his wife can't have children..

Suesie: Me either..

Woman: And so.. She's gonna be upset because.. Well.. I am..

Suesie: You're what?

Woman: I'm pregnant..

She slightly smiled. I started crying.

Suesie: You're her!

Woman: What do you mean?

Suesie: You're Lisa!

Woman: Yes.. But why are you so upset?

Suesie: M-Michael is m-my husband!

I started crying very hard and I ran to my vehicle.. I couldn't do this.

Lisa: Suzanne! I'm sorry!

I wish I never heard this..