The next morning I woke up extra early feeling sick.. I sat up and held my stomach as I felt it churning.. Believe me, this was very unpleasant. I was starting to feel the heat turn up and I started to sweat. Oh Lord Jesus it's so hot! I stood up only to plop back down onto the bed. I felt weak. I started to gasp for air and blow it on myself to cool myself down. In the middle of blowing, I had to throw up so I ran to the bathroom. I heard Michael get up but I didn't care. This was ridiculous! Michael knocked on the door to make sure that no one was in there.

Michael: Suzanne, baby are you in there?

Suesie: Yeah I'm here.

Michael: Are you alright?

Suesie: I'm f-..

I was interrupted by the agony of having to throw up again. Michael instantly barged in and rubbed my back. Michael tucked some of my hair behind my ear and began to tell me that everything was alright. To be honest I was nowhere near alright.. In fact.. Oh my gosh..

Michael: It's alright Suzanne. Let it all out..

Suesie: Michael-....

I threw up again.

Michael: Yes sweetheart?

Suesie: Michael, I think I'm-..

I threw up again.

Michael: You're....

Michael gasped after a while and started to smile.

Michael: Are you going to your appointment today? I know that you're already two days late but you can reschedule it for today.. Can't you?

Suesie: Yeah..

I said, resting my head on the edge of the toilet bowl. Michael pulled me close to him and wiped my face. I looked at him and smiled. I felt myself starting to drift again in Michael's arms and my eyes got heavy. The room suddenly became cold and I couldn't stay awake for anything. Michael put me to bed and held me close until he had to go. I grabbed a hold of his arm when he got up to get ready.

Michael: Baby what's wrong?

Suesie: Don't leave me.

Michael: But I have to go to work today baby, it's Monday.

I pouted..

Suesie: I hate Mondays..

Michael: But I Love You.

Suesie: I Love You too..

Michael: I'll tell you what, I'll call LaToya to keep you company while I'm gone.

Suesie: No, call Rebbie.

Michael: Okay sweetheart. Rebbie will keep you occupied while I'm gone and when I come back home.. We can do a little bit of this..

Michael said kissing my neck.

Michael: And a little more of this..

Michael kissed me more passionately on my lips and smiled.

Michael: And a whole lot of this.

Michael said as he started whisper what would happen, which I have forbidden myself from telling you exactly what he said to me. I thought about it and it sounded really great but no. Not after what happen on Saturday night.

Suesie: No.

Michael: No?

Suesie: No.

Michael: What's wrong with my sexy lover?

Suesie: Saturday night is what's wrong.

Michael sighed.

Michael: look Suzanne, I'm sorry about Satuday but it just happened. I was another person at the time.

Suesie: Never let him out again. Keep that Michael on a leash.

Michael: Aww.. But he needs you and that's what happened to you on Saturday night.

Suesie: We're still not having sex.

Michael: Baby..

Michael pleaded.

Suesie: He wasn't very gentle with me.. He's the reason why I don't feel good.

Michael: Aww.. Baby.. How long are you going without me to help you ease your pain?

Suesie: As long as I can.

Michael grinned.

Michael: Alright. I will be back.

Michael went to call Rebbie and came back after five minutes smiling.

Michael: Suzanne..

Michael crooned.

Suesie: Yes?

Michael: I just called LaToya and told her not to come over today.

Okay I was wrong.. But I thought that it was LaToya! I mean Rebbie!

Suesie: What's that got to do with Rebbie?

Michael crawled over to me and whispered something to me.

Michael: Everything.

Michael kissed my ear and whispered something else.

Michael: I can stay home from work today.

I let out some air.

Suesie: Michael, no. You must go to work today..

Michael: Why? My boss said that there was a serious accident that happened and he didn't want me there today.

Suesie: What about tomorrow?

Michael chuckled lightly.

Michael: I can stay here until they clear this mess up.

Michael said in his low voice, that I absolutely love, right into my ear. Michael nuzzled the crook of my neck and I knew exactly what he was doing.

Suesie: Michael no.. Get away.. From m-me..

I started to go into a daze as I resisted. Michael wouldn't stop teasing me because he knew what he wanted. I gently pushed Michael away and shook my head 'No'.

Michael: Baby what's wrong?

I didn't reply, I didn't move, I just stared at him for a while.. Then I got up and walked out of the room. I went downstairs and laid down on the couch. Michael eased his way down the stairs and over to me. I was watching the television at that time not giving Michael any type of attention. Michael lifted my feet up, sat down, and rubbed my legs making little love circles every now and then.

Michael: Suesie....

Michael said smiling as he stretched out my name.

Michael: Suzanne..

I looked at him and saw him grinning.

Suesie: No.

Michael: Aww, Baby what's wrong?

Suesie: You want the truth? Here's the truth, I am not sleeping with you ever again! I'm still in pain after two days Michael! Two days! That should not happen!

Michael frowned. I just hope that I didn't hurt his feelings.

Michael: That was a different Michael that made love to you! How many times do I have to say that?

I couldn't answer him. I wanted to retort back at him but I didn't know what to say.

Suesie: Well I never want to see that Michael again.

Was all I said. I went upstairs into the bathroom and locked the door. I stripped myself of my clothes and looked into the mirror. Michael's words started to echo in my head.

'It kills me to know that you can't look into the mirror and smile.'

I also remembered what Katherine told me.

Suesie: I am not a whore.. I was a victim of an unjustified crime.

I started to repeat that statement over and over again until I heard a knock at the door.

Michael: Suzanne, Baby. Open the door.

I quickly reached for my clothes until Michael said something else.

Michael: And don't bother with putting your clothes back on.

I didn't listen to him, I slipped on my undergarments and opened the door. I looked at Michael and he turned me towards the mirror.

Michael: Look at yourself Suzanne.. What do you see?

I thought about it and sighed.

Suesie: I see a girl who is afraid..

Michael: What is she afraid of?

Suesie: Never being loved or cared about. She is afraid of loosing the only person in the world who loves her and afraid of being hurt again..

I said trailing off. Michael turned me towards him and looked at me into my eyes.

Michael: Look at me and tell me what you see.

I smiled and crossed my arms.

Suesie: I see my sexy husband who can be very provocative at times. He is very sweet and I love him.

Michael: Does he have any faults or insecurities?

I thought about it for a while and then I shook my head 'no'. Michael nodded and told me to close my eyes.

Michael: Okay, you can open them now.

I opened my eyes and my eyes widened because Michael was stripped but something was wrong. He had white blotches that were spreading towards his area and legs.

Michael: What about now?

I was speechless. I couldn't find the right words to say.

Michael: Right..

Suesie: No, I just don't know what to say.

Michael came closer to me and held on to my arms.

Michael: But I do. Suzanne, we are the same. We have our iniquities and the only difference is that I don't put myself down for it. Sue don't be upset over something that can fade away. Your scars, bruises, and stitches are almost gone now and I? Well.. I have to live with the fact that I'm turning a different color just like my aunt. It's genetic and I am afraid that I have what she has. But am I ashamed? Maybe.. But not to the point where I hate myself and can't find a reason to love myself. You are beautiful Sue and no one can take that away from you.. At least not in my eyes.

Michael said looking me in my eyes the whole time.

Michael: Turn around and face the mirror.

I did so and Michael wrapped his arms around my waist.

Michael: Now say 'I am beautiful.' with meaning in your voice.

Suesie: I am beautiful.

Michael shook his head.

Michael: No, like this. I am beautiful. You have to own it.

I understood what he meant and said it as he did.

Michael: Good.. Let me ask you something.. Do you believe what you say?

I don't even know.

Suesie: I don't know.. One second I do and then I don't the next.

Michael: What about now?

Suesie: ..... No.

I said after a long pause.