I came home a few.. A few.. I can't even remember. Days or a week. I was in there for a few days before I came home, I know that much. Then the three weeks started. I'm not allowed to have sex, eat certain things or drive at the moment. Just rest, rest and more rest. I was carried into the house and I still can't speak. The good news is that I don't want to.. When Michael laid me down, I turned so that I couldn't see him. I couldn't face him at the moment. I've been like this for a long time. Michael would talk to me and have LaToya or Rebbie help me around the house since I refused to cooperate with him. The first day was horrible..

Michael: Come on baby, I'm taking you home.

We rode in the vehicle and I refused to look at him. I just couldn't.. So many thoughts swarmed through my head. So many things have happened. But why did they all happen to me? As I said before, he laid me down and sat in front of me. I turned away from him and kept my blank expression plastered on my face. It wouldn't move, nor would I.

Michael: Baby.. I know every thing that I have wrong you of and what I need to do. I know you are very furious at me..

'Furious doesn't describe it..' I thought.

Michael: But I want to.. No. I need to fix this. Everyday digs a deeper hole into my heart and I know that it rips yours to shreds.

'It's smaller than shreds..'

Michael: I'm going to do any and everything in my power to fix this.. Fix us.. Fix everything. I'm sorry for everything that I have ever done to you. I promise- and you can do whatever you want to me if I break this promise - I will never hurt you again.

'I look forward to the day when everyone owns up to that.. Otherwise, stop trying to save me and let me die.' I truly had given up. I didn't expect our marriage to be like this! Had I would've known the future.. I probably wouldn't have married him.

Michael: You know I Love You right?

'I honestly don't know anymore..'

Michael: Right? Baby, I Love You more than life. If I could change everything around, I would. I'd do it all over for you. Only you.. Are you hungry?

He knew that I wouldn't budge, but I will admit that I was indeed hungry. Michael sighed, disappeared and came back with a tray of food. I could smell it.. Everything that he cooked, I knew what it was before my eyes looked at them. I turned away from him again when he came back. Michael sat on the other side and tried to feed me, but I refused to let him feed me. I kept turning and he kept following me. Michael got frustrated with me and gave.

Michael: Oh my Lord, Suzanne! Will you PLEASE eat something? I don't want you to starve!

'If I starve, I'll die. If I die, let me go. You didn't miss me on earth, so why would you miss me when I'm gone?'

Michael: I-.. I don't know what to do with you..

Michael walked out of the room and about thirty minutes went by before I heard the door open. I thought it was Michael, so I ignored it. A part of the bed sank and then I heard a voice that was the only thing that calmed me down.

LaToya: Sue? What's wrong?

I turned slightly and then I hugged her. I didn't cry. I didn't want to show how bad I was feeling just yet..

LaToya: What's wrong?

I pointed to my lips and shook my head. She got the message.

LaToya: That surgery must've been serious.

I shrugged. She went on and on talking to me. I would occasionally answer with a nodd or any other gesture.

LaToya: You better eat something.. Are you hungry?

I looked down and slowly nodded. She went downstairs and heated up my food. She came back up and fed me. I enjoyed this attention but I also hated it at times. It all depended on who gave me the attention..

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~Day Two~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Michael came back into the room the next day, since I refused to let him sleep with me. I kicked him and he got sick of it. I was in no mood to see him..

Michael: Baby..

'Why does he always call me Baby?'

Michael: I don't know what is going on, but I can only fix this if you communicate with me.. Write what you want to say, I'll read it and take it to heart. I promise.

I ignored his comments to me.. I hated every second of it. Why him of all people?

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~Day Three~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

I kicked him where it hurts when he tried to touch me the other night and he was almost in tears. Why doesn't he get it?

Michael: Okay, I know that you are upset and depressed.. But please don't kick me there anymore. If you ruin that part of me, then I won't be able to produce..

'I hope it's you and not me who's barren..'

Michael: What do you want me to do with this? This problem we have.

'Just think about it.. I mean really think about it.'

Michael: How can we fix this if you won't even let me hold you? Or just simply touch you?

'Has it ever occurred to you that maybe there are other options that don't involve physical activity?'

Michael walked out with a sad face once LaToya came in.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~Day Four~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Michael didn't come in that morning and I still wasn't speaking.

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~Day Five~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Michael came into the room crying and it kind of worried me.. Just a little.

Michael: Baby please! Please speak to me! I need something from you! Anything!

'No sex, you dumb dumb..' I rolled my eyes.

Michael: I just need one thing. Just write it down.

I reached over and grabbed the piece of paper that I wrote on the other morning. I crumbled it up and threw it at him. 'Fuck off!' It said..

Michael: I-.. Okay.. Just one thing. I want to kiss you..

'Hell no!' Another piece of paper said. Michael sniffles and left after saying something..

Michael: I really do Love You Suzanne.. More than life, air, food, water, my cartoons and myself.

Then he left. I sat up and looked down. I tried to hold in my tears that were forming, but one managed to fly away..

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~Day Six~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Michael didn't visit me at all and I looked out of the window.. I waited for something to happen.. Whatever it was, it was that particular day that I felt something was going to happen. Something special. Something significant.. Something magical. LaToya came in later on to find me face down on the floor, not moving. She panicked and lifted my head up. She saw them.. All of my tears and wiped most of them away.

LaToya: You scared me.. I'm so glad you're still alive.

'I'm not..'

LaToya: Why are you crying?

I opened my mouth and began to murmur things in a high pitched tone. LaToya looked at me like I had six eyes and a mustache. I stoped crying and looked at her.

Suesie: What?

LaToya started crying and hugged me. She had a smile on her face and she said 'Thank God' repeatedly.

LaToya: You can talk! Thank God! You can talk!

I touch my throat and began to cry again. What if Michael heard the news? He's going to hound me until I speak something to him..

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~Day Seven~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

LaToya took me to church with her and we had a relaxation day. Janet went over with Michael, and I stayed with LaToya. LaToya and vice had the best day in the world.. Sisters just hanging together.. The sermon was beautiful and I was at peace.. As for Michael? He was trying his best not to cry in front of Janet.

This was pure Hell to Michael..