i don't know what you think about this picture of harry, but it made me drool ! 

Thank you guys for reading :) Love you XXxxxx

Harry and Gigi were both staring at us, pretty upset by seeing Zayn and I together. I couldn't believe how Harry had the nerves to be mad at me right now, and Gigi was on edge for nothing.

Zayn and I could have had sex and not care about them, but once again, we'd been trying to do the right thing, even if every cells of our bodies told us to go for it.

Unfortunately, i couldn't help but feel guilty because of the kiss. Moreover, when I met Harry's glare. Even if he had cheated on me, he didn't deserve that I'd do the same. Even if he had betrayed me, it wasn't worth the pain it could have caused. At last, for that matters, I didn't want to be like him.

I immediately pushed that guilt away before anyone could read it on my face. To be honest, it was pretty obvious that something happened between me and Zayn like it was written on our foreheads that we were about to have sex.

Gigi was jealous as hell, I wasn't wrong, and she wanted to mark her territory as the way she kissed Zayn in front of me. If I wasn't upset enough I'd tell them to get a room.

When she finally let go of him, Zayn took his breath and introduced her to me but I explained that we already met, but he knew it already because of what I'd mentioned in the car. She probably didn't tell him that she'd been a bitch to me though and I won't bring it now.

While I'm lucky to be greeted by Mrs GIGI, Harry stepped closer and I felt a sting at the bottom of my stomach. I didn't want anyone to be witness of our exchange so i just walked away with him, from Gigi and Zayn, nodding at Zayn to let him know that i was leaving.

"Jenna please talk you me". Harry pleaded, as he grabbed my hand softly. The feeling of his touched confused me, the way his thumb caressed the palm of my hand was caring, and his eyes were showing how worried he was.

Zayn noticed my discomfort and walk to Harry and I, with anger in his eyes. "Leave her alone" he stated at Harry, too loudly, that people started to look at us, and Harry didn't appreciate, at all, the intercession.

"You fucking stay away from her, from us, you ditched us in the press and you think you have the right to intervene between me and my girlfriend." Harry's mad, i didn't see him that angry, the way he spoke to Zayn, the way he shoved his hands and run his hand in his hair. He was doing his best to contain his feelings, they didn't talk to each other for months, so it went actually pretty well.

Zayn was ready to snap at him, as well but his glare met my eyes and he stepped back. For sure, he didn't want to make a scene but only a point, and tried to not make it harder to me than it already was.

After that, Zayn left us, sending an 'it's not over" look at Harry.

Harry and I were now standing together. I was staring at me feet, but I decided to speak up. "I don't know what to say Harry. As much as I want to clear things I'm not able to think straight at the moment. " "I'm afraid that if I speak right now I could say things that I'd regret and I don't want that to happen." he nodded of agreement, even if he wasn't satisfied by the answer.

"Do you want to go home?" his eyes showed so much worry and sadness, probably as much as mine. His face had turned from angry to soft, in a blink. He was asking it like he was begging me to come home with him, he was afraid that i'd leave him.

"Of course I want to leave but I can't, otherwise everyone will see that I'm hurt and I don't want to look down because of you, because of what you did to me". My voice started to shake again.

He nodded . He's embarrassed too but I didn't care, we were both the center of attention, and it was his fault.

More than an hour later, the party went to an end, and the night was over. I had no choice than to leave with Harry because it's not like I had somewhere else to go.

The ride home was quiet, none of us wanted to be the first to speak up, so we both remained silent and it was awkward. The guys went home with different rides, they just gave us space. I was relieved that they wouldn't be, in the middle of a fight, again.

When the driver parked the limo in front of his house, i felt how my heart beat started to rise and i was feeling nervous.

The anxiety kept growing inside of me, and when Harry closed the door of his house behind us, it's like all the weight I kept on my shoulders came back and my whole world would collapse anytime soon.

****

I needed to get off of my clothes, and shoes, i just wanted to wear comfy clothes than this dress which was pressuring me, so i went upstairs quickly, avoiding Harry. I didn't think that he would take it wrong like i was getting upstairs to pack my things and leave. When i was undressing myself from the dress, and putting on some yoga pants and a loose tee shirt, Harry quite lose it.

"What are you doing?" Harry snapped, a bit too harsh according to me.

The tone of his voice made my anger raised into a higher level. "I just need to get ready to bed" I said, I wanted to yell at him, but all came out of my mouth was weak and low. It was like all the strength of my body had vanished.

"Jenna, we need to talk" Harry stated with softer voice, he must have noticed my reaction at his previous statement. While i was putting my hair into a messy bun to head to the bathroom, i needed to remove that amount of makeup which was covering my face, before I gonna burst into sob and look like a total mess.

"I don't know what to say" if i speak, i could explode, but Harry took my agitation for a breakup. I sent him the wrong message, deep down I was avoiding the talk.

After I dried my face with the towel, I went back to the bedroom. Harry was walking pace up and down.

I was just sitting on the edge of the bed, close to my nightstand on my side of the bed, i was getting rid of the earrings he gave me earlier. As i pulled them on the nightstand, Harry kneeled down, and put his hands on my knees, his eyes were looking for reaching mine, my silence was eating him inside. "Babe, please, forgive me"

I knew i have to speak, to talk with him about it.., but it didn't work, my brain didn't work.

Harry rested his head on my knees, and his hands were holding my waist tightly. Finally, I'd decided to finally ask the question which was torturing me. "Why?" that what came out of my mouth. that was the only one question that i wanted to ask, it would sum up everything.

Harry was obviously confused and struggled to find the right words, the right answer. Of course there wouldn't be a good answer, and he knew it, even if he had the whole to think about it. So he started to speak, carefully, to give me some kind of an explanation.

"i wish i had an excuse, a reason, but i don't, i was just stupid and a jerk" he answered, his glare staring at the floor. He's ashamed of himself.

But it wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to explain why he had to ruin everything we built. Why he ruined the trust I had in him, in us.

"i need specific Harry, why did you do this?" my voice was louder this time.

"it didn't last long, you had arrived for like a month or something, I wasn't reread to be in a relationship" he stood up and came to sit next to me on the bed, he grabbed my hand into his.

"Please forgive me" he's sad and I think he's scared that I'd leave him.

"I don't know this is ... humiliating heartbreaking there's so many things to describe what you've done to me. If you didn't want to be with me, why did you make me come in the US in the first place?"

I added, "You dated her, I googled it, you took her on dates, while you were hiding me in hotel rooms."

"I wanted to be with you, I was just too afraid and a coward to admit it"

"You're such a hypocrite. You didn't bring me to a date for months, and you were seeing her, dating, diners... How could you do this, I'd been in that plane with you so many times, i met this girl so many times..."

I was now sobbing, the tears kept running on my cheeks, i couldn't help it anymore. Harry's face turned like he was lost and obviously didn't know what to do to make it up. To be honest, i wasn't sure there was something to do to fix this.

All of a sudden, all the anger that i kept inside just blew out.

"You let me feel bad for hanging out with Zayn even if nothing happened while you were cheating on me, again. First with Kendall now the air hostess. What else should I know Harry? "

"No one else I swear. I'm sorry, I screwed up. " he run his hand in his hair.

"He was my only friend. You know I felt bad because I thought i wasn't enough for you. I was getting sick because i was falling for you, i was forgetting Kyle and i felt bad. I felt that i wasn't worth it with you."

"Don't say that, i care about you"

"Come on, i told you that i love you so many times and you didn't say it back; i gave you time. i felt that I was a temporary fix for you and I felt like time was counted. And I was damn right"

I can't believe i stayed away from Zayn for you,"

"Stop thinking that Zayn is better than me" He snapped. His voice getting louder. Zayn was obviously an upsetting subject.

"He had always been honest with me, i can't say the same for you" i snapped back.

"You don't know everything" he retorted.

"What the hell is it supposed to mean?" Why our fight was getting about Zayn suddenly?

"Nothing" he said dryly.

"What? Did he know?" I lost it,

"No".

We were both yelling at each other.

"So tell me what you mean; if you keep having secrets from me Harry I swear I'll leave and you'll never see me again. Im tired of all the secrets!"

He hesitated a lot and run his hand in his hair. He was picking up his options but there wasn't any good ones.

"He's the one who paid you for the first shooting you did"

My jaw dropped again, and my head started to spin.

"You two are such manipulative liars " i yelled as i got up from the bed. That was too much to handle.

I run downstairs and grab my bag from the couch and put on my boots and lather jacket as i felt Harry's hands taking a grip of my wrists making me turn to him harshly.

"Let go of me Harry" he was hurting me, he was tightening my wrists to hard.

"Don't leave, it's the middle of the night"

" I need to get out of here."

"No, stay, it's too late"

"Let go of me" i pushed him away,

"Jenna please don't leave."

He yelled as i slammed the door behind me.