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Dedication goes to

WynterReign

We have such like-minded brains, bursting with ideas, and I'm so glad that we can collab together, talk together, and stay up late/wake up early to do random planning. I will never forget who you are in my life, even if one of us makes it and one of us doesn't...

Hopefully we make it together, dragging each other to the top.

You are my Wattfriend goal, and I will always appreciate you.

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He stayed there for the night, sleeping on the floor with a thick blanket and a pillow. I watched him as he slept, knowing how much energy it was taking for him to remain here. My mom came home late but she didn't check in. I heard her fumbling around and knew that she was drunk.

I fell into a restless sleep, woken up early by the sounds of angry shouting.

Keaton was standing by the door when I looked over, his eyes staring curiously at me. I slid out of bed just as the door opened and a large burly man barged in. I screamed but he took no notice of me, walking out onto the balcony.

"Who... what?" I looked at Keaton for an explanation.

"We're in an alternate reality, one where you were never born." He grinned. "You never moved here. This isn't your room. No one can see you in this universe, but everyone you know is somewhere here."

I walked out into the main living area. It was different than it had been before. Plates of leftover food sat on every surface, leaving a pungent smell in the room. I grimaced, looking at the mess. "If my mom isn't here, where is she?"

Keaton opened the front door and stepped into the hall. "She's in California, living with her mom."

I paused at the door, a sinking feeling entering my stomach. "Why?"

"Because you were never born. She left your father after three years of marriage, nothing stopping her, and moved back to California to take care of her aging mom."

"Can we go there?" I asked, grabbing Keaton's hand. "Please, take me there."

He waved his hand in front of my face. Everything went blurry before coming back into focus. Now we were standing outside a modest home I recognized as my grandma's. It was in the rural part of California, on a small farm that grandpa had run before he died.

I opened the door. "Mom?" I ran over to the living room. Grandma was sitting in a chair, watching the TV, while my mom prepared dinner for her. The kitchen was adjoined to the living room, a shallow waist-high wall separating the two partially. I remembered leaning my chin on that wall as a child, watching the thanksgiving preparations.

Keaton was following close behind and he grabbed my arm as I went of the doorway to the kitchen. "I told you, no one can see you." He growled. "You're not really here, just seeing what it would be like without you."

I looked around my grandmas house. It was the same as I remembered it. Native statues adorned the top of the fireplace and a mini-chandelier cast prism-lights across the white walls. The TV was on mute, the silent images rolling passed, words flashing underneath.

"Take me to my father." I demanded. He was the one I wanted to see, he was the one I came to see.

"I can't." Keaton whispered, his hand reaching for mine.

"Why not?"

"Because, Em. Your father is dead."

***

I stared out across the barren wasteland. My feet rested on the porch steps, the dusty wood biting into my legs. Tears were rolling down my cheeks but I didn't wipe them away. They were a tribute to my dad.

"Why did he die?" I asked. "I wasn't here."

I once again thought of the reason why my dad had been in the accident. He'd been on his way to pick me up from a friend's house when the drunk driver crashed into him. Now, in remembrance of his death, my mom was starting to drink too. It was these thoughts that made me think once again of ending my life.

"He died because you weren't here." Keaton explained.

"But they divorced. How could I make him die?"

"They divorced because you weren't born. You never got the life threatening pneumonia that almost took your life. He never cancelled his flight on that plane to New York, the one that crashed. He was on it, Em."

"So no matter what I do I still kill him?" I broke down again.

"He loved you. He was depressed without you. A broken marriage, no child. He had no one to share life with." Keaton dropped beside me. "Don't you see? That's why you're so special. That's why you changed his life, because you were there to make his life worth something. He never regretted dying to pick you up, it was his service to you."

"This almost makes me wish I was never born," I confided. "I mean, I might have made his life sad but I caused pain for other people."

"Life is never perfect. You can never live through it without causing pain," Keaton warned. "Don't make any rash decisions."

I shook my head. "Take me back to my universe."

Keaton looked troubled. He waved his hand across my face once again and my room reappeared.