"Um, Nat, I don't think we have enough balloons..."

She looked around the lounge and smiled, easily sensing your sarcasm and choosing to ignore it, proud of herself in her decorative prowess. "I think that if you didn't want to help, you don't get a say in it."

"I do like the red that you've added here and there, like a baby Cap. But I give it thirty minutes before the guys start sucking all this helium."

"That's being pretty generous."

"Ya think?" you asked cautiously. "I suppose...have you seen what Tony's got stocked at the bar? He's acting like this is some huge social event, not just a get-together to meet CJ. He's gone a little nuts."

"Consider the source," she smiled with a gentle squeeze of your hand. "I'm going to get ready. Did Steve say how long before they get back?"

You pulled out your phone and quickly scrolled through your messages to see if he had sent an update, finding one from Wanda instead. "Yep, of course," you sighed. "Wanda said they'll be late, about another half an hour. Chris and Robert are doing impromptu autographs at the airport and Steve's having trouble dragging them away."

"Just tell Chris that you're dying to see him. He'll sprint."

"What?" you gasped, your eyes wide at her insinuation. "What the hell does that mean?"

Natasha shook her head and began to walk away, but you reached out and grabbed her arm firmly, making her wince at your strength. "Hey, ouch," she snapped, pulling away. "You know that boy's had a thing for you since day one. Don't act like you didn't, (Y/N)."

"But I'm married to Steve and we have a baby now, Nat. There's zero chance here."

"Of course, but that doesn't make the feelings just go away."

~~~

"I'm Captain America, I'm the manliest man of all men," Chris mocked, his voice high from helium, "I could do this all day. Fight me."

"I'm Chris Evans, I can't decide which superhero I want to be, so I'll just play them all," Steve replied with a laugh, his voice just as squeaky.

"Come on, you wanna fight me, flag boy?"

"You fight awkwardly," Steve laughed, his voice slowly deepening as the effects were wearing off. "And flag boy? That all you got, you smartass wannabe?"

"America's not as great as you think it is."

The small group of men who were gathered around them gasped and let out jeers of disapproval and encouragement to fight, catching your attention from far across the room. "Excuse me, my idiot senses are tingling. Already," you shook your head, handing your son to and eagerly awaiting Nick who disappeared with him almost immediately to flaunt him in front of Maria. It felt almost like an Olympic obstacle course to get to them, hopping over outstretched legs and dodging tables placed around the room, covered in empty glasses and hors d'oeuvres. You leaned down quickly to grab a snack that you'd been eyeing since the party started, popping into your mouth as you scurried, since you had yet been given even a moment to eat.

"I swear if I see one fist swing, I'll knock both of your asses to the ground," you scolded, stepping between them with your hands extended. "And you guys are no help! This isn't a bar, this isn't some repeat of that damn bachelor party, and it sure as hell isn't a place to pick a fight. This is our home, and if you all can't respect that, then maybe you should leave."

"Holy shit, Cap," Sebastian laughed, "you've got your hands full. She's in full mommy mode.

You spun on your heel to face him and glared with an intensity that made him shrink back in his chair. "You wanna go, Stan?"

"No, ma'am. I...do not."

"Chickenshit," Sam mumbled under his breath in a quiet cough, though still loud enough for you to hear. You smiled politely and walked over to him, leaning down to rest your hands on either side of him on the arm rests of his chair. His eyes immediately grew and his smile was replaced with a paleness and fear in his expression as your gaze held him in place.

"Sam," you smiled, speaking with a dark calmness that sent a chill across the group, "why don't you tell the boys here about what happened the last time you crossed me. Hmm?"

"I don't think we need to get into that," he deflected, trying to look past you to get help from Steve.

"Don't look at him, he's not going to save you." You turned and shot a warning glance to Steve just to drive home the point, gently pushing the side of Sam's jaw to face you again. "Let's have it."

"I, um..." he coughed and straightened in the chair, "I flew too close to CJ's room and woke him up when (Y/N) was trying to sleep. She won't let me have one of my wings back yet and he's sleeping in my room for a week."

The group sat silently as you stood and surveyed them, Steve nodding and giving Chris a friendly slap on the back. "So, kid. We good?"

"She's terrifying," he whispered. "How did I not see that?" Chris dropped into the seat next to Sebastian and leaned in closely, covering his mouth next to his ear as he spoke, "I'm in trouble, man. That was so hot."

~~~

"Smell him."

"Nick, I did, so you can get him out of my face now," Maria groaned, though slightly eyeing CJ as if she might want to do it again but not giving anything away.

Fury pulled the boy up to his chest and leaned his head down to take a long breath of baby scent, smiling at the effect on his senses with a small moan. "You can't tell me that this doesn't make your clock just start tickin'."

"Oh my god," she laughed, "Nick if you want a baby so bad, just make one."

Clint snorted and sprayed his drink over his own lap, grumbling incoherently as he wiped the liquid from his shirt and pants. "It's not like you just throw one in an Easy Bake Oven, ya know. Slightly more involved."

"Slightly, and a hell of a lot more fun," Robert agreed, reaching up for your son. "Gimme."

"Get your own."

"I have my own," he replied snidely, "but they're back in L.A. I want this one."

"Hmm, well, it's good to want things, Downey. Makes ya tougher," Nick huffed, tucking CJ under his arm and hurrying away to another group before anyone had a chance to stop him.

~~~

"Steve, can we talk for a minute?" Chris approached slowly and asked in an uncharacteristic shyness. "I have a problem that I need your help with. It could be that you should be the last person to ask for help on this kind of a problem, but you're the only one I can think of to talk to because you'll probably literally knock some sense into me."

"Evans, you're rambling."

"Yeah, I do that when I'm freaking out."

Steve looked at the small group of Anthony, Scarlett and Nick, who was still holding the baby, giving his son a soft little tap on the end of his nose before walking away with Chris, sensing that privacy might be the best for whatever he was about to surprise him with. He led his friend to the gym and slowly closed the door behind them, waiting for Chris to take a seat along the wall while he stood nearby; Steve tried to keep an open posture, but his height and build always made that a bit more difficult, and he always came off as intimidating.

"So, let's have it."

"I'm just gonna come out and say it," Chris offered, looking a little green in his face as his anxiety built. "Yeah, I'm just gonna do that," he sighed quietly. "Okay, here we go..."

"Hey, what's going on with you?" Steve asked, growing more concerned with each passing minute and at the acute change he was seeing. Chris was always the charismatic one of the pair, and this was unnerving for him to see.

"Steve, I think...fuck," he sighed heavily with a visible drop in his posture, "I think...I think I'm in love with your wife," it tumbled out.

The sudden silence weighed like a ton of bricks over their heads, and the force of Chris' words pressed down on Steve until he could feel the breath being forced from his chest. He felt like he couldn't move, and like the world was beginning to look just a little darker around him. "Okay, well...that's...problematic."

"That's an understatement," Chris scoffed. "Believe me, Cap, I never meant for this to happen."

"Of course you didn't," he replied. Steve leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest, staring at his feet as if they held some answer for how he would approach this kind of a topic. He could solve almost any problem when he put his mind or his fists to it, and right now neither option looked promising. "I don't think that you did, so let's just get that out of the way. But what are we going to do about it, Chris? I can't just ignore it. Right?"

"No, I suppose not."

"What would you do?"

Chris furrowed his brow and sat in deep concentration for a few minutes, feeling Steve's intent gaze on him, only adding to the pressure to come up with the words that he couldn't find. "If the roles were reversed, and if you claimed to be in love with my wife...I would probably...I'd make sure that you were never near her again." His eyes quickly filled with sorrow at his own words as he looked up at Steve, whose feelings were echoed in his own. "Is that what needs to happen?"

"Goddammit, Chris," Steve groaned, thrusting his fist back against the wall, "this isn't how this is supposed to go. I'm supposed to be able to trust you, like I have been this whole time, like a brother. You're supposed to be..." he paused, his voice beginning to shake as it quieted, "you're supposed to be my family."

"I want it to go away, Steve," he replied with a new fear in his tone, and an urgency to make Steve understand before he lost it all, mad at himself for planting the idea of shutting him out into Steve's mind. "Please believe me."

"I do."

"I'll never do anything, I swear."

"I believe that too." Steve straightened with a pained smile that held no promise for more and turned towards the door, avoiding Chris' eyes. "But I'm sorry. I can't take the risk that I might be wrong."

~~~

"Guys," Chris greeted quietly, passing Renner and Hemsworth on his way to Nick. "Can I...?" he asked, holding his arms out to take CJ; Nick sensed a concerning shift in his mood and readily handed the boy over. Once he had him in his grip, he pulled him tightly to his chest, rocking side to side and whispering something they couldn't hear, kissing his head and breathing in his mixed scent of baby powder and you before quickly handing him back to Nick; he had to turn away before he completely fell apart.

"Hey, are you okay?" Wanda asked, hurrying to his side when she saw the pained look on his face and felt his extreme swing in emotions. "Did something happen?"

"I need to go, I'm sorry." Chris brushed her hand away and tried to get to the door before you noticed him, seeing in your expression that Steve had already talked to you. He had almost made it to the door, but his luck wouldn't last and you stepped in front of him.

"Don't leave."

"(Y/N), please, I can't do this right now. I just said goodbye to Steve and CJ for the last time, and I can't say it to you too. Please move."

"Move me."

"Are you fucking serious?"

"You can't leave," you suddenly broke down, tears immediately filling your eyes and spilling down your cheeks as if a dam had broken. It hit fast and from nowhere, leaving you gasping for air between your words. "You can't. I won't let you. You're his friend. You're my...you're more than our friend, Chris."

"(Y/N), Steve made it perfectly clear that I can't be here, and I agree with him. I can't do this."

"Steve's wrong!" you shouted, bringing a sudden silence to the room and all eyes onto you, including those of your husband. Bucky grabbed at his arm to stop him but missed, and he was now making his way towards the two of you. "You're wrong!"

Chris turned and saw the Captain coming closer, and he panicked. He had to find a way to make you see that this was the only solution and that he and Steve were doing the right thing for all of you. "Then you're leaving me with no real choice here, babe. Only one way to drive this point home so you can see what it's doing to us." He took a step towards you and took your face in his hands, kissing you passionately until he felt Steve's hands grabbing him and throwing him to the ground. Your face was the last thing he saw before it all went black.

"Shit," Seb gasped, "I thought she said this wasn't a repeat of the bachelor party! What the hell did I miss?"